TMI Tuesday – Love and Marraige
Thanks to Virtual Sin for the questions this week. And of course to the lovely Hedone for the extra sixth?? question.
1. Do you believe in marraige?
Obviously yes. I am married and have been for sixteen years now. I often feel that I am in the minority of people today being married to the father of all of my children with absolutely no intention of having any more children to any other men.
2. Have you ever proposed marraige or been proposed to marry? What happened?
Mr Jones’ proposal was a little bit of an anticlimax. He made a point of not proposing until he was sure I would say yes. So there was an answer before the question. He did make the effort to take me to a nice outdoor lake where there was no-one around which was about as romantic as he got in those days.
3. What would be your dream way of proposing marraige?
I think I must be getting old. I don’t really go for the lavish romantic gestures these days. Also, because I am already married to the person I am going to grow old with I don’t really think too much about that kind of thing. I think a low key, romantic dinner and a private discussion would probably be my ideal right now.
4. What would be your nightmarish way of proposing marraige?
A completely out of the blue very public proposal in front of a large crowd of spectators from someone I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to marry would probably be the worst thing I could think of.
5. Mainstream society has engagement rings; in your opinion what token should be given to signify engagement?
A couple that we are acquainted with are a mixed race marraige with the man coming from Papua New Guinea. At the time that they got married they didn’t have a lot and their wedding consisted of a ‘one pig’ feast. It has been a standard joke between Mr Jones and Myself that I am worth at least ten pigs. The reasoning behind this Melanesian custom is that a man shows his worth as a husband and provider by the number and size of the pigs he can acquire and look after. A woman shows her worth as a wife and mother by the number and size of the pigs she can command as a ‘bride price’
At the risk of antagonising the feminists out there I think in its purest form this custom is actually a good way of showing the value that a future husband and wife place on each other and themselves. In our culture there is a lot of emphasis placed on engagement rings which ultimately only benefits the jeweller when the prospective husband is forced to part with a substantial amount of hard earned cash so that his fiance has something worthwhile to show off at work and family functions.
Would you like to participate in an “open” marraighe vs a traditional monogamous marraige? Why / why not?
Well obviously the answer to this one is yes. Why? because it is just better than monogamy. Don’t get me wrong an open marraigh is not for the faint of heart. I could write a whole post about this topic. Oh wait that is what this blog is about!
Bonus: Tell us about someone you would have proposed to but never had the chance / opportunity.
Well actually there isn’t anyone. I am married to “The One” and I can’t think of anyone who came before him who I did actually want to marry.
I almost forgot! Make sure you check out all the juicy TMI goodness right HERE