Baggage Free Sex

I read a post recently by Andee that re-ignited a few thoughts that have been percolating in my mind for a while. In her post Andee raises the question “What do men get out of watching their wife have sex with another man?”

It is an interesting question one that many different people have many different answers for. In the comments following her post the question of why would a woman want to have sex with a man other than the one she is connected to is raised. Along with the material from Andee’s post this question crystallised a few thoughts in my mind.

In my own experience Mr Jones and I have addressed this question several times. Every now and then I encounter a man who I have a deep sexual connection with. These men get me, we share kinks, ideas, fantasies and for some unexplained reason sex with them can be mind boggling. These relationships always push boundaries and sometimes they threaten to spill over into fully blown romantic love but at the end of the day the men I have this connection with are not men I could form a life partnership with.

So why do I have such a deep and satisfying sexual connection with them? Why do I see fireworks when we are together?

The answer is complex but mainly it is to do with the lack of baggage. Mr Jones and I are married. We deal with children, money, mortgages, illness, irritating relatives and a whole plethora of unpleasant issues every day. I see him naked every morning. Which is sometimes sexy but a lot of times not. If you don’t believe me watch the Sienfeld episode that deals with just this.

So when it comes time to have ‘special cuddles’ sometimes these things affect how we interact and see each other. I don’t have these interactions with other lovers. Our whole relationship is based on sizzling hot sex. And when the sex becomes not so sizzlingly hot then I am free to move on no hurt feelings, no financial issues to settle and no custody battles to fight. It is no strings attached sex, sex in its purest form.

The idea that we should meet one person and form a life long relationship with that one person that will satisfy every need that we could have emotionally and sexually is just plain ridiculous. Thinking about it objectively how could that even be possible? We don’t choose one friend to satisfy all our social needs so why should we choose one spouse to satisfy all our sexual needs? We are human and our nature dictates that we form all kinds of connections with all kinds of people including sexual ones.

Of course every person is different and so for some there is one person who can satisfy their every romantic and sexual need but for the majority of us I don’t believe this is the case. As well as that our sexual desires change over time. So we may meet a partner who does all the right things in all the right places but once we have scratched that itch we find that it is no longer that itchy and move on. This also doesn’t sit well with the whole ‘one partner for eternity’ idea.

And so getting back to the question why would a woman want to have sex with someone other than her husband? Well I think the answer is pretty obvious; because she can, because it is fun and because it enables us to become well rounded,fulfilled sexual beings. To be honest, people who spend a lot of time espousing the idea that lifelong monogamy is a good thing probably need to get a life.

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About gemmi72

Wife, swinger, blogger. An ordinary woman living life one day at a time dealing with the complications of moonlighting as a sex goddess.

Posted on January 18, 2015, in Open Relationship and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Wonderfully put . . . and in my own experience, perfectly correct.
    Great minds . . . !!! LOL!!!
    Xxx – K

    Like

  1. Pingback: Sexual Duality | Sex With Other Men | andeesc2

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