Another One Bites the Dust

Recently through the swingers dating website I am using I met a man who reminded me a lot of Pet. I was very happy with this discovery and embarked on some on-line fun that was very pleasurable to us both.

I guess I was blinded a little by his attractiveness, interest in the same types of kinks and my own horniness and I didn’t look hard enough at his profile. It wasn’t until I was already fairly invested that it came out that he was married and doing all this without the consent of his partner…

I have blogged about this before. I don’t particularly care if a potential partner is married. I have been involved with married men before. I am a swinger, that is kind of what we do. But the difference between swinging and just fucking around is the honesty, the consent, the openness. Honesty between the people getting naked and also the honesty amongst the different relationships involved. If you aren’t telling your partner where you are going you aren’t being honest.

There are many, many people in this world who are not happy with the sex in their relationship. I have been one of them, at times. It is always a conundrum; Do I stay with this person who I love, and keep the ‘normal’ appearance for the sake of my children? It seems wrong to leave because I want different/ better/ more sex.

Newsflash! Firstly you are not saving the feelings of the one you love by staying with them and getting the trimmings on the side. You are delaying the inevitable. They will find out and they will be more hurt. They may or may not leave you because of the cheating. They may know and not let on, they may put their fingers in their ears and say “lalalalalala” but they will find out.

Secondly staying in a toxic or malfunctioning relationship because it will be better for your kids is an illusion. I teach teenagers, I see all kinds of fucked up in kids every day of my working life. Most of the fucked up I see is related to parents. How the hell do you expect your kids to become functioning adults if the example they are learning from, you, is in a marriage that doesn’t work properly?

In the past my reasoning for not being involved with cheating men has been a purely selfish one. I am not interested in sneaky short intervals in the back of a car while she is out for a few hours with her friends. I am not interested in getting requests like “hey she is out for a few hours, come over now” I have my own marriage and life to live. I need to make a plan and know it is going to come off.

I sympathise with men who can’t see how to achieve their fantasies and I am happy to hold their hand while they work it out. One of my oldest and dearest friends is a man who I met in these circumstances. He is still working it out but he is getting there. I am not going to be the other woman.

Just touching on the honesty again. I am honest I tell partners from the get go my situation. I tell my husband where I am going. This particular guy was not honest. He didn’t say he was married in his profile or in his opening conversations. He assumed I would pick up on the subtleties and ‘get it’. Nope I didn’t and now I feel like an idiot. Plus he put me in a position where I had to get out of a situation when I just wanted to keep going further in.

And so despite the disappointment in realising that the decadent sexiness I was looking forward to came with a price tag I was not prepared to pay, here I am wondering if there is an honest person in the world.

TMI Tuesday – Redux

This week’s questions are a flashback from September 2013. Back then I was a TMI regular at my old blog, Erotic Adventures. You can check out my original responses to these questions here.

As usual you can check out other TMI goodness at the TMI Tuesday website. Including some other people who also posted in 2013. Enjoy!

From http://propertyofpotter.com :

1. What strange areas of your body are ticklish?

I am not really ticklish which is very frustrating for Mr Jones as he is quite ticklish in the regular places. When I tickle him he laughs like a girl which I find endlessly entertaining.

From https://scarletrosevixen.wordpress.com :

2. What is something you are interested in sexually, but only on a purely fantasy level? Something that you think about but could never fully act on.

I have a bit of a fascination with awkward virginal young men. But given my line of work it is not something I can ever really allow myself to pursue.

From http://truepleasuresreviews.com :

3. If you could have a week of the best sex ever in human history but you had to have a fish head as your head for the rest of your life, after that week, would you do it?

Nope. I don’t need to have the best sex in human history. The second best sex in human history will do.

From http://sexualitysanctuary.blogspot.ca :

4. What do you consider taboo and have you ever ventured into this territory? Was it a great, good, bad or horrific experience?

Probably in line with my answer to question 2. Given my profession engaging in sex with virginal young men is really not a good idea. Even if they were not my students it is a rabbit hole I am not prepared to venture down.

From http://www.shadowedseductress.com :

5. What part of your body do you consider the most unusual that you enjoy being stimulated?

I love having my hair pulled and my scalp stimulated. It is not entirely sexual stimulation but when a man holds my hair and pulls it just the right amount as I suck his cock… That takes things to the next level.

Bonus:

From http://herprivateisland.com :

If you could make a porn film/video with any celebrity, who would it be and why?

My original answer to this question was Travis Fimmel, I am going to stay with that response because he is one sexy guy.