Last week was not my finest hour. I said some stuff and did some stuff and a lot of it was not pretty. The outcome of some of it was confronting as I outlined in one of the posts I did manage to make. Despite committing to myself to post TMI consistently, it fell by the wayside. So this week you get catch-up TMI AND regular TMI.
1. Do you think taking a break in a relationship works? Have you taken a break? Why do you say it worked or did not work?
Personally no I don’t think it works. Taking a break from an argument to cool down and consider what has been said is a good idea in theory but often hard to do in practise because of the emotions involved. But having a break where you don’t see each other or you are free to see other people willy nilly. Nope. Just nope. At best nothing is getting resolved and at worst you have created a whole other mountain of stuff to work through.
I have not tried it with Mr Jones. I have in previous relationships and they didn’t work. I was very young so that may have been part of the problem but also I may have learned from the experience.
2. What is your ideal “break” in a relationship:
a. we stay monogamous but relax expectations on each other and each other’s time
b. we can see/date other people
c. we can take time to explore sex with other people
d. take a break but there is no discussion about seeing other people
For Mr Jones and I none of the above would be a break as such. We already see other people in a fully ethical and consensual way. In the past a break is a break from non-monogamy to focus strongly on each other and spend time together to get our primary relationship back on track.
3. Currently, how many healthy relationships do you have? How many unhealthy or toxic relationships do you have?
One healthy marriage. Two healthy relationships with my children. A relationship with my mother that could be toxic if I don’t keep my guard up and a very new sexual relationship with my John Barrowman look alike that is open honest and shows great promise as a sexual friendship. Definitely no romance.
4. Are there limits to your sexual creativity?
I guess there is. Sometimes I don’t have the mental capacity to be creative and I just want to fuck in a few basic positions. Other times I am all over trying different stuff.
5. What one item in this life do you want to take to the afterlife? (For the purposes of this questions just assume there IS an afterlife).
I don’t really have an answer to that one. I can’t think of an item that I couldn’t leave behind.
Bonus: What life-altering thing should every human ideally get to experience at least once in their life?
I am going to go out on a limb here and say taking your clothes off seductively in front of people you don’t know very well if at all. Over the last eight or so years I have been fortunate enough to do this and also witness other women doing it in a loving supportive environment. It is liberating and it teaches you that there is someone out there who appreciates every body type. There is someone who thinks you are hot no matter how old, fat, skinny, young, saggy, lumpy, bumpy you are.
Sexy is not entirely how you look it is confidence.
These questions were posted on 12 November at TMI Tuesday. As always I encourage you to head on over and see what everyone else had to say.