I have a long term friend who had told me on multiple occasions that I have the “disease to please”. By this she means that I am driven to make the people around me happy often at my own expense even when this is detrimental to me.
Of course there are times when this inclination is a good thing. It makes me conscious of other people and their feelings and needs in a way that others often aren’t.But it can also be extremely unhealthy. It means that I put other’s wants and perceived needs well ahead of my own basic needs.
When it comes to my Gemma life I am less inclined to sacrifice myself to please others. This is not the way it has always been. In the past I have taken one for the team to make Mr Jones happy and I have tolerated some bad behaviour from play mates without so much as a whimper. But those days are in the past.
I have three basic rules that all play friends must abide by;
1. No lies, to myself or your partner. If you aren’t upfront with them about who else you are fucking then we are going nowhere fast.
2. No dicking around. That means no making a plan and then not following through either by not turning up or contacting at the last minute to change time/ venue etc. Also no contacting to ask for pics/ sex chat when you are horny or bored and then ghosting off when can’t be bothered to make an effort.
3. Perform according to advertised standards. Don’t be three minute wonder or a wombat (eat shoot and leaves). If I am not satisfied at the end of the night your chances of getting a return invitation are greatly reduced.
I am guilty of not enforcing the rules from time to time but I am training myself to be firmer with them. It is paying off.
My recent exploits with JB have been a clear demonstration that the rules work. He has never actually been informed of the rules but like the gentleman and amazing lover he is he abides by all of them all of the time. I am more than satisfied with things and have a justifiable means to turn down other prospective partners like the IT guy.
However during my last play session I recognised the pure joy I can get from giving pleasure. One of the sexiest things about this man is the look on his face when he greets me and takes away the robe I like to wear when I meet him, to see what is underneath.
During our last meeting I laid him down on the bed and teased his nipples first with my nails and then with my teeth. He loves it. As I sat astride him and teased him by touching his lips with my juice covered finger he smiled with such contentment and pleasure it gave me a thrill.
He had the same look as I lowered my wet, aroused cunt onto his face. Before he began to work his magic and drink as much of the liquid I squirted into his hungry eager mouth. When he licks me it is the most pleasurable thing. At first I am restrained but it doesn’t last forever. Before long I find myself wrapping my hand around the back of his head and grinding myself into his face.
It is a strange thing. I love to please him with scratches, bites and sucking and biting his cock but he gets almost as much pleasure from licking me and drinking my juice. It is as if both of us get more out of pleasing each other than pleasing ourselves.
One of the most erotic things I have always enjoyed is listening to and feeling my partners climax. JB is no different. I have a video
I took of him cumming in my mouth. I can hear the sounds he makes as he orgasms in the background. I have listened to this on repeat as I masturbate. It is one of the sexiest fucking things. For me there will always be a gift for myself in giving pleasure to other people.