Confronting

I have blogged before about the freedom of blogging as if no one is reading. It is generally how I approach these pages. Of course I realize that people read what I write and I do send links to people sometimes if there is something I am particularly proud of or if I think they might find it interesting (read arousing). Mr Jones is not a big reader and I thought he didn’t read these pages but it seems that he does. So hello Mr Jones.

I was contacted by a Twitter follower who wanted to meet. It turns out that he is a bit shy and it took him a while to work up the courage he needed. In this particular case he does not meet the three rules in particular the one about his partner knowing. I made it very clear that there will be no playing but he still wanted to meet so what the hell.

It was an interesting encounter. We met in Bunnings of all the places. I am not sure why but it was as good a place as any. Relatively cool, no one really taking much notice of two people chilling in the outdoor furniture display for half an hour or so. He turned out to be a genuine nice, if a little nerdy, guy. It was relaxing to have a conversation about just general stuff without the pressure of deciding if I am going to take it further.

Maybe because I wasn’t in “date” mode I kind of defaulted to “teacher / vanilla” mode which is quite a contrast. Whatever the reason, after we had chatted about movies, television shows, family Christmas and our jobs he made a reference to this photo that I had posted on twitter.

For some reason I found him mentioning this really awkward. I don’t know why. It amused him that my reaction to his comments was to blush like a stupid school girl. The more that I think about it the more I am convinced that I was definitely in vanilla mode and this mode is more prudish than it really needs to be.

When I told Mr Jones about this later he laughed a little but was completely understanding of my comments that having stuff you have posted on the net being waved in your face by a real flesh and blood person sitting in front of you. Posting pictures of your butt, no matter how attractive, is not something that to be done lightly. Pressing that tweet button must be done with care. Things I tend to be careful about are background clutter and any identifying features, including my face. And I absolutely will NOT post a photo that has anyone else in it without their consent.

Clutter in the background of a photo looks messy but also can unwittingly contain things that give away identity and location. I like to give myself the illusion at least that I am in control of who pops into my actual life from my internet life. In all likelihood I am probably FAR from in control of this but I have not had too many problems so far.

In any case the comments from  my new friend left me in no doubt that he wasn’t looking at me in a vanilla way AT ALL which is perfectly fine. I just need to get my head around what is going on with this interaction. I have no intention of breaking my own cardinal rules so I have to maintain a certain level of decorum but on the other hand I can be a bit more relaxed about sex stuff than I am with normal platonic friends.

For me this is an unusual experience. I do have some friends who know about Gemma but are not sex partners but they are few and far between. Maybe walking this different path will help me to be more comfortable in my own sexy skin more of the time.

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