A Path of Destruction

This post is a continuation of the story of Mr Jones and my journey through the swinging world to the point we are at today. If you want to read the story so far a lot of links and brief descriptions is outlined on The Journey to Now page.

Wes and Sheree’s relationship was far less than perfect. Not long after our double penetration experience it became clear that there was more to things than just a struggle with mental health. It was a long and sordid process but ultimately the two of them split. During the demise of their marriage my feelings for Wes became stronger and stronger. I found myself listening to his feelings about the demise of his marriage and it sucked me in. Despite us telling ourselves we had everything under control we didn’t. Older wiser me can see how he was manipulating things but then I went like a lamb to the slaughter.

In conversations that we have had since these events Mr Jones has been fairly confident in his opinion that Wes was trying to manipulate the situation and steal me away from him. I am not entirely convinced that this was his motivation. I feel that he was just keeping me on a leash to be available if and when he felt he needed a woman to service his sexual needs and to massage his ego. Whatever the case he wasn’t really concerned with my best interests or my marriage.

A series of events had led to me leaving my long term employer and ultimately ending a career that I loved as a Quality Manager for a food manufacturer. This had happened prior to us embarking on our swinging journey but I was still struggling with the fallout of these changes. I had not quite made the decision to become a teacher but the seeds had been sown. Mr Jones and I took advantage of my career break to travel for three months with our children. It was an epic adventure that spawned it’s own blog and inspired a much longer term plan that will be coming to fruition in 2021. It was also a time for us to re-connect with each other.

Wes and I kept in contact the whole time we were travelling mainly through email every week or so. I think Mr Jones was hoping that the absence would sever the tie we had and when we returned we would start afresh.

Unfortunately this was not the case. We returned to our regular life and picked up some things where we left off. Through our emails Wes had told me he was very excited for my return but that he had also met someone else. I was happy that he had found a person to share his journey with as I felt that he needed that. His communication led me to believe that this new person knew about our relationship and was OK with it.

She may have known he had a friend called Gemma who was married and that she was a swinger. She may have known that Wes and Sheree were swingers but she certainly didn’t know how entwined Mr Jones and myself were with Wes and Sheree. She found out during a visit to a swing club when I tried to join them having an intimate moment thinking a threesome or a foursome would be a lot of fun. We were at a swing club after all.

The following morning a received a very blunt message from her accusing me of being a complete slut and how dare I intrude on her relationship without being invited. Her words were nasty and very very hostile. It was a sign of things to come. With his usual charm Wes smoothed things over and manipulated both of us back into our boxes but it was the beginning of the end. His new friend and I pretended to get along but it was all fake. In the end I realised my fantasy of two husbands was not going to work possibly ever and certainly not in this situation. I ended up cutting ties with Wes completely and left him to his messy life. It was hard and painful but ultimately necessary.

One of my lifelong mantras has been “things always work out the way they are meant to” at this time I didn’t feel that things were working out the way they were meant to at all. In all honesty I was just resisting the loss of someone I was very infatuated with and cutting those ties was the only healthy thing I could have done.

The experience left me with some hard learned lessons and led me to put in place a couple of policies about dealing with people that I have kept to this day. One of the first is to avoid infatuation. This is not an easy thing and I have not always been successful at it. Another is to keep out of the workings of other people’s relationships. This has been something that is easier to maintain. “Other people’s relationships are other people’s business” has become something I say frequently when comment arises about the way people interact in their marriage. It is easy to be an armchair commentator but you are never going to know what has come to pass in a relationship as it falls apart. Getting involved even as a sympathetic ear is a bad idea, it will cost you a friendship and your self respect.

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