I don’t remember how old I was when I started to masturbate. What I do remember is that my sexually repressive mother instilled in me an understanding that being sexual was not desirable and that talking about sex was forbidden. That included anything that led me to understand my own body. When I started menstruating at around 10 I didn’t actually know what was happening to me. But I digress. The purpose of this story is to record my journey through orgasms.
So somewhere, well before I started menstruating I learned to masturbate. Because of the environment I lived in I knew it was not spoken about and something I did it in private. Quietly. Secretly. For a long time I didn’t even really associate it with sexual pleasure. It was actually something I did to go to sleep at night.
As a teenager I lived in a boarding school. Being locked up with a bunch of teenage girls you would think would be very liberating sexually. In some ways it was. I was privy to conversations about sex with many different people from many different backgrounds. But in the end we were all teenagers, we didn’t actually know a lot of facts and we certainly didn’t have any adults around who were willing or able to help us.
So I graduated high school a classic Catholic school girl virgin. Horny, no real knowledge of how to interact with boys and no real understanding of sex. What I knew I had learned from magazines and science text books and whispered conversations that other more experienced girls had with their friends.
I lost my virginity to a man about five years my senior. These days he would be classified as a “toolie” because he hung around young school leavers but had actually left school several years earlier. He had a reasonably large dick which added ti his allure. It was a very unsatisfactory experience. He didn’t know I was a virgin, it was all over in a few minutes and I left feeling disappointed. Through him I met another man, again older but this relationship was much more educational from a sexual perspective.
I learned a little more about my own body during this relationship but the main takeaway was a discovery of, and pride in my ability to give head. I was a natural at this. I didn’t know this then but I know now my ability is mainly because I just love cocks. I love looking st them, I love the feel of them, I love exploring them with my mouth. I love the power of being able to make a man climax from my mouth, and yes. I swallow.
After this relationship and probably for the next ten or so years my sexual experiences were very one sided. My clitoris is sensitive. Most of the men I encountered had no fucking idea what to do with a vagina other than to stick their dick in it, so the vast majority of my orgasms came from my own hand. I liked penetrative sex but I didn’t climax from it, unless I fingered myself at the same time. I figured that was how sex was and for the most part I settled for that.
When we started swinging I came across a lot of people who wanted to lick me. I had no idea how to tell them what to do. I didn’t have the confidence to explore this with them I just knew it wasn’t good for me so I dealt with it the way I deal with a lot of stuff; I made it about them. I gave them good head, the men and the women. I fucked a lot and enjoyed myself immensely but usually I went home and had sex with Mr Jones so I could climax properly before I went to sleep. It was kind of a ritual between Mr Jones and I. Reclaiming the territory.
Somewhere along the journey I learned about squirting. I became aware of the spot at the entrance to my vagina that has been the source of immense pleasure ever since. I learned to relax, (insert Frankie Goes to Hollywood lyrics here). And the sweet juice flowed. At first it wasn’t much but over the years it has increased,
At this time I was still extremely cautious about mouths near my pussy. Women were almost never allowed (in my experience they are crap at licking pussy but that is another topic for another time). Select men were allowed for short bursts. Squirting was usually triggered when a guy slipped, or was pushed, out of me during sex. Or, and this is my personal favourite to this day, he pulled out and gently tapped my clit in the throes. OH MY GOD!!!! You want a sprinkler to erupt on your bed? Do that to me.
Then I met Pet. He was a dirty, dirty man and he loved me to squirt on his face. And I did, as often as I could. I feel sorry for the staff at the hotel we frequented. I missed that man when life happened and we parted company he opened my eyes to many things. One of which was the sheer pleasure of lying back and letting someone use their mouth on your lady bits.
Since then I have met a couple of men who genuinely love a woman sitting on their face and almost drowning them. There are a lot of men who SAY they like this but really there are few who actually do. Once they are horny it is about getting their dick wet.
When I climax that way it is frequent and if I get worked up enough it is uncontrollable. I literally cannot stop and have been known to climax from watching a man wank, from feeling his pleasure when I am sucking his cock and from having my nipples stimulated. But I need to be aroused enough first. I need the first teasing and licking I need to be built up and I need a connection with my partner.
It is hard for men to understand but all of that can go for hours and I can spasm countless times and ejaculate significant amounts of liquid. I believe it could be measured in litres but the science to back this up is pending. And yet I still need a large gut wrenching clitoral climax to be finished. If I don’t get that I will be a bit jittery and unsettled.
Something I did realise after a recent session with Johnny is that if the massive clitoral orgasm does happen during play I am very much like a man. I then want to cuddle, have a chat and go to sleep. If you do that to me you have three choices: 1. Cuddle, chat and go to sleep too, 2, cuddle, chat and then start again, from the beginning, 3. Immediately keep things happening and I will be good for a while but it will get a bit old in the not too distant future. Actually, if you pick option 2 you are also likely to get a short lived response as well.
The moral of the story; as tempting as it is to see me climax that way because it is fun to see a woman enjoy herself it is not a good idea to let it happen until you are ready for the closing credits yourself. Because after that my ultimate goal is to finish up and get some sleep.
I once had a friend who would describe her orgasms as many and varied. At the time I was still at the fingering while being penetrated stage of my journey. I was envious of her. I thought I would never be able to have that. Now I am a bit like her. It turns out that the secret to many varied and amazing orgasms is not the hand you are dealt. It is relaxing, and trying a whole bunch of different stuff.