TMI Tuesday – Love and Robots

1. Should we be worried about sex robots?
https://www.sciencefocus.com/future-technology/should-we-be-worried-about-sex-robots-kate-devlin/

Recently I had a conversation in the lunch room at work about sex dolls. It always amuses me how vanilla-ish people think about sexual topics. A woman who I thought was a little un-vanilla seemed completely rattled by an up close and personal encounter she had at a sex shop with some realistic looking sex dolls.

In terms of actual fully functioning robots. I think there is a way to go before we are overrun by sex robots. Although I think it says a lot that we put so much time, effort and money into developing this technology and there are still many people in the world who don’t have the ability to feed and clothe their family properly.

2. A humanoid (a life-like robot) that looks like your biggest crush, and acts exactly the way you hoped your crush would act has been created. This humanoid initiates sex, with you. Would you have sex with the humanoid?

Interesting question. I am not entirely sure how I would react to that. It has been a long time since I had a serious crush that I couldn’t act on. Most of the people I have an interest in that are not accessible are people I work with. If I had a chance to fuck a robot that looked and acted like them it would be extremely weird to then have to interact with them at work the next day!

3. What’s your typical sleep attire?

Naked.

I recently spent a long weekend with some vanilla girlfriends in a unit at the Gold Coast. They are quite prudish and I was sharing a room with one of them. Naked sleeping was not on the agenda, at all. It made an already uncomfortable bed more uncomfortable. I was very glad to get home and sleep naked in my own very comfy bed!

4. What is the most cringe-worthy thing you have experienced in the bedroom?

In a bedroom? Pet sleeping areas. Yes my cat sleeps on my bed sometimes but not all the time and hey he is a cat. He knows it is time to find somewhere else to go when things get intimate. But having your dog bed or worse their crate in your bedroom routinely that is just wrong. It shouts, “I don’t have sex EVER!”

When having sex? Well once I met a guy to suss out his “Potential” he invited me back to his house and he had a cat roaming around that was on heat. The whole situation was weird.

5. Are you satisfied with the amount of after-sex affection (e.g., spooning, cuddling, intimate conversation) you receive? yes or no . If no, how could it be better?

That is something Mr Jones is awesome at. I am happy about that. It is always a bit disappointing when meeting FWB to play and they have to leave after some fairly intense sex. Of course the situation does not demand after sex affection. It is not a relationship and engaging in too much snuggling could result in things heading down the relationship path and that is definitely not where I want to be.

Bonus: What is your most useless skill?

I am actually pretty good at taking selfies of my butt!! Something a lot of people appreciate but something that is never going to make me famous or rich.

This post is part of TMI Tuesday for June 30. To see who else is sharing click the button below to head on over to the TMI blog!

How Can I Get My Wife To….

I saw a post on Twitter recently from a man who is interested in the nudist lifestyle asking how he can convince his wife to join him at a nudist event. I have heard this question asked in the same way but exchanging the concept of nudism and swinging.

“How can I convince my wife to try swinging? I know she would enjoy it if she would just give it a go.”

I have no answer for this. The nurturing part of me wants to be all encouraging and supportive and talk about encouraging her to try slightly different things. But the response to the above tweet resounded very strongly with me. In essence the respondent said “It is her choice. She is the only one who can decide what she wants.”

When it comes to trying swinging I would say the same thing. It is her choice. If she doesn’t want to do something, who are you to pressure her into something she doesn’t want to do? I find it hard to understand why people get so fixated on convincing their partner to try something they are fundamentally opposed to. Or something they have made very clear they are not comfortable with.

The cynic in me looks at this situation and sees a very selfish person. I see a person who has a fantasy and has decided they can’t live without it despite what their partner wants. They have convinced themselves that they are right and that their wife will enjoy it if she just gives it a try. It seems that these men are not really thinking with their “big brain” but rather with their penis that wants to experience swinging. I would not speculate on their reasons for wanting to explore this fantasy but the cynic in me feels that his reasons are not about seeing his wife have a great time at the hands of multiple other men but rather about his own pleasure.

I have been in the lifestyle for long enough to know that every relationship is different and every situation has nuances that cannot be seen from observation of a few tweets or even in depth conversations. There are at least three sides to every story. One for each of the parties involved and then the actual events. I have also been in the lifestyle long enough that only those with rock solid relationships that are built on solid communication and mutual respect have a good, long lived experience.

My experience tells me that if these men were able to convince their wife to “give it a go” it is unlikely that things will turn out they way they expect. Their wife may very well enjoy the experience but what if they don’t? What if she enjoys it so much that she is completely hooked and will never go back to monogamy but you wish that you had never opened Pandora’s box? Or worse, what if she realises that she has been missing out all this time and then you become like many men in the swing scene, sitting in the corner at the beck and call of the women in the room?

There is a saying, “You should be careful what you wish for. You might end up getting your wish.”

I think that should be the standard response to this question. Wishing for something your partner is not interested in is counter productive. When you find yourself in this situation you really have two choices;

1. Accept her decision, respect it and get on with your life and your marriage.

2. Accept her decision and continue to pursue your fantasy, either by ending the relationship or behind her back. Either way your relationship is doomed. Even if you do wear her down and she agrees it is unlikely to end well. If you cheat she will find out and things will not end well. Ultimately you have to accept and respect her decision.

TMI Tuesday – Now We See it

1. What’s invisible but you wish you could see?

Sometimes when I am meeting people or interacting with people I don’t know very well I wish I could see what they are really thinking underneath all the politeness. I wish I could see their true intent and what they really think.

2. Would you rather watch your neighbor(s) having sex while you are in the same room or anonymously watch your parents having sex?

This is a hard one. When I was a young teenager I was unfortunate enough to be present in the room while my parents were having sex. For some reason they thought it was a good idea to have sex while sharing a room with their teenage daughter. Even if they mistakenly thought I was asleep. It was not a pleasant experience.

Currently my neighbours consist of an octogenarian and his wife and someone who I have no desire to see naked. It is a conundrum as neither seems worse than the other. But seeing as I have already experienced one I think I pass the test.

3. For what are you nostalgic?

I am very much a forward looking person. There is also much in my past that I would rather not live through again. but I think I am a little bit nostalgic for my mid thirties. I was much slimmer, a lot fitter and I was in the thick of things. It was also a time in my life when I was essentially a stay at home parent but my children were at school so I had a lot of time to myself.

4. What is an unwritten rule where you work?

It is an unwritten rule that students are not allowed in the staff room. It is one of those barriers that both staff and students are painfully conscious of but one one that I am ever aware of being written. A student in the staff room does happen from time to time. Sometimes they come in to get things or other extraordinary errands. When it does happen the students are visibly weirded out by it. Often the staff can take it in their stride as long as they are aware of the circumstances. Sometimes the student wanders in without thinking about the barrier and this results in shock and panic on the part of the staff. Students should not be in the staff room.

5. What is an unwritten rule or mutual understanding in your home?

Always say goodbye. Properly with a hug and a kiss and a genuine good wish for the other person.

Years ago I heard a sermon from a priest about a man who had applied for a ticket to emigrate from Ireland to the United States. This was in the time before international flight and the internet. The man was leaving his family and would likely not see them or speak to many of them again. The man had a standby ticket or was “On Notice” meaning he could be called at any time to board a ship and leave his home and family. He took this quite literally and went everywhere with his life packed in a suitcase. Every time he left home for any reason he said goodbye to his family as if it was the last time he would see them. He never actually got to emigrate as he was killed in an accident. His family were of course grieved but his wife expressed her gratefulness for his practice of farewell each day because of being “On Notice”.

The moral of the story. Never part company with someone you love without telling them how you feel. It has been something I incorporate into my relationship and I believe it has made it much stronger.

6. Which body part do you wish you could detach and why?

My feet. I have Plantar Faciitis which is caused by my profession that requires me to stand up for most of the day. Since being diagnosed I have learned how to manage the condition. This involves some very expensive inserts to shoes and careful selection of footwear. It also involves stretching. The pain for the most part is gone but I can always tell when I have become slack with my stretches or when I have not been wearing my inserts.

Additionally heels have become a very much sometimes item. Which does make me a little sad

Bonus: What is the weirdest thing you have seen in someone else’s home?

Honestly you would think in years of being a swinger I would see some weird things but none spring to mind. I remember a few things as a child that I found weird. My grandmother sometimes took me to visit her friend when I was about 7 or 8 because she had a swimming pool. Once I was inside the lady’s house and I noticed in the centre of her telephone dialler (it was the 70’s) was an image of a nipple. It took me a while to work out what it was but I still remember it clearly. I am pretty sure my grandmother didn’t realise but her friends were definitely not your regular suburban couple.

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. To see who else is sharing head on over and check it out

TMI Tuesday – Human Nature

1. What do you think are the best and worst parts of human nature?

So I had this moment of being funny and spent way too much time looking up Human Nature videos. This is the one I liked the most.

In all seriousness he worst part of human nature is to be violent. Deliberately hurting a person for your own selfish reason is the lowest act a human can commit.

The thing that impresses the hell out of me about humans is our ingenuity. I am constantly impressed about how humans built amazing structures like the pyramids with a tiny amount of technology. It sometimes saddens me that we are starting to lose that ability

2. What is something terrifying that you have come to accept as a fact of life?

I am currently teaching a class some stuff about communicable diseases. We have been researching illnesses that are currently on the schedule for childhood vaccination in Australia. Diseases like measles, whooping cough and polio. With the world coming out of lockdown because of a virus the thing that terrifies me is that there are people in the world who think that vaccines are not that important or worse, that their choice to deliberately avoid vaccinating their children is a choice that only affects them.

3. What piece of media (book, movie, TV show, etc.) changed the way you viewed the world? How?

As a child I was an avid watcher of a Nature Documentary presenter called Harry Butler. He was kind of like a combination of Steve Irwin and Sir David Attenborough. I am also a huge David Attenborough fan but Harry was the first person to open my eyes to the wonder of the natural world. Being Australian he taught me about the plants and animals that lived in my own back yard. To this day I would rather explore all of the remote parts of my own country than get on a plane and spend 24 hours travelling to the Northern Hemisphere to jostle with a million other people to look at some statue.

4. You must pick one:

– Facebook or Twitter?

If I had to choose it would be Twitter. As long as I get to avoid people who insist on posting their opinion on American politics.

– Cake or Pie?

Cake every time. Unless we are talking Banoffee pie because Yum!

– Swimming or Sunbathing?

Swimming, I have extremely white skin (thanks to my Irish ancestors) so sunbathing is not really something I do very often. Swimming in the ocean is fun though.

I really miss the yacht….

– Nice Car or Nice Home Interior?

I really suck at making decisions. When I first read this one I was totally all about a nice home. Now I am not sure. I think not so much a designer home interior but definitely I like having a tidy, functional home.

Bonus: If pressing a button meant you received 5 million dollars (usd) but it also killed 5 people somewhere in the world, would you press it?

No! I can’t even imagine that anyone would!

This post is part of TMI Tuesday. Now that you have read my answers you absolutely should read everyone else’s

Next Level Sex Questions

These questions came courtesy of my friend Duncan at Your Sex Interview. He has a totally amazing mind you should read him.

1. CAN SEX BE GREAT IF IT’S JUST PHYSICAL, WITH NO RELATIONSHIP (THE OTHER PERSON IS EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE BUT RANDOM

Sex is different with a long term partner that it is with a random stranger. For me at least. Sex with a long term partner can be a minefield. You have, most likely, seen them at their least sexy such as throwing up after drinking too much or scratching their arse while wearing those pants with the hole in the knee that they refuse to throw away. So when you have sex with them you have to get past that. It takes more effort and commitment to get down and really dirty with someone you have lived with for twenty years. At the same time they know you and they can access the cheats and hacks to get you really going… If they want to.

With a hot random there is no baggage. There is just pure unbridled sex. If you can let go and be in that moment the sex can be next level. Although someone very smart told me recently that women find it hard to be in the moment sexually. I guess I am one of the lucky ones.

2. HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN EXTRA STRONG ORGASM AND LOST CONTROL (WAY MORE THAN USUALLY IF YOU LOSE CONTROL OFTEN)? HOW WERE YOU DIFFERENT DURING SUCH AN ORGASM

I posted recently about my evolution through orgasms. In this post I explained that if I have been playing for some time a clitoral orgasm can be the full stop to proceedings. These orgasms can a bit underwhelming especially if I have been holding them off for a while. Sometimes though they are the exact opposite. Sometimes they are so strong that I squirt litres of liquid and am left quivering and unable to be touched.

3. WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE AN AMAZING ORGASM YOURSELF OR GIVE/WATCH THE PERSON YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH AN AMAZING ORGASM (IF IT HAD TO BE ONE OR THE OTHER)?

Something that never fails to give me pleasure is listening to and watching guys cum. Especially if it is because of something I did to them. Like giving them head or fucking then. I have a few erotic memories that never fail to turn me on. One is a recording of a session with JB. His ex wife had never allowed him to cum in her mouth. So of course I was all about giving him that experience. I decided to record it to add to the experience. I listened to that recording on repeat for weeks.

Another much older memory is of a very gentle man I was fortunate enough to experience very early in my swinging journey. Unlike most men my age now he climaxed several times during the night we spent together. I still remember the noises he made third time he came. Afterwards he told me he didn’t think it was possible for him to climax that many times in a night but he couldn’t stop himself because I was so focussed on his pleasure.

So

Fucking

Sexy.

4. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN INAPPROPRIATELY PROPOSITIONED BY SOMEONE (SOMEONE WHO SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN PROPOSITIONING YOU)? DID YOU TURN THEM DOWN? DID YOU TELL ANYBODY? (IF MORE THAT ONCE, ANSWER WITH THE MOST SCANDALOUS OR INTERESTING

When I thought about answering this question I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to answer. I am down for most inappropriate situations for example; giving a man head in the change room at a large department store, fucking in a park while my husband watched behind a tree, fucking in a picnic area near a popular lakeside camping spot (the guy who was fishing nearby had a great show!). I could go on but you get the picture.

I have a fairly firm set or rules about WHO I will and won’t fuck. Mostly it is anyone I like unless you are cheating. I won’t go in to the why’s and wherefores of it. I am also not down with fucking anyone who is connected to my professional life. Nor am I down with fucking at school, even after hours, or doing a teacher – student role play. That is a line I won’t cross even in pretend. It is just too close to home for me.

Unfortunately I find myself saying no to cheaters frequently. I am getting fairly good at reading the signs and cutting off conversations early.

Also unfortunately something that happens when guys discover I am a teacher is that they get hung up on the idea of playing out a fantasy they had as horny teenage boys. I am 48, slightly overweight and not at all athletic. I am 100% certain NONE of the boys in my care go home after I have drilled maths into them and masturbate. I don’t care what you fantasised about your gym teacher at school. Sadly there have been a couple of men who have not let the idea of visiting me after school and getting down and dirty in a classroom go. They got nowhere very fast.

What is it?

It is TMI Tuesday! Make sure you check out the other participants. But not before you read mine!

First things first. What is this? Put your suggestions in the comments!

So the consensus here from girl child, and boy child that it is a belt coiled around itself. I am not entirely convinced. But I don’t have a better suggestion. So on to the questions.

1. What is your phone screensaver at the moment?

I took this image last year when Mr Jones and I visited the Whitsundays on our yacht with the girl child. This was taken on the Northern end of Whitehaven beach. The opposite end to where the tourists go! On the day we visited the weather wasn’t great which made great light for an interesting shot but didn’t show up the famed white sand.

2. What is currently on your playlist? (list top 5)

• Prairie Hotel Parachilna – John Williamson
• Blue Monday – Orgy
• Dance Monkey – Tones and I
• Sucker for Pain- Lil Wayne, Wiz Khalifa and Imagine Dragons
• all the good girls go to hell – Billie Eilish

3. What are your last three internet searches?

TMI Tuesday, When and how to wear face masks to prevent Covid-19, and I honestly can’t remember the rest of it.

4. What is your favorite sandwich filling?

What a question! Are we talking toasting? Or just a regular sandwhich?

Toastie – you can’t go past cheese. Something about the melted cheese oozing that is amazing. You can add ham if you like but really it is all about the cheese.

Regular sandwhich – depends on the day, what is in the fridge. A bunch of things. Some fillings that spring to mind are salad and Vegemite, and pulled pork with coleslaw.

Something that you really can’t go past is an old fashioned steak sandwhich. I am not sure if this is something that other countries have but you can’t go past a well constructed steak sandwhich. As well as perfectly cooked rib fillet steak there has to be egg, caramelised onion, BBQ sauce and beetroot! Without those ingredients it is not a steak sandwhich.

5. What is one staple item all men should own?

Mr A will be proud of this statement.

A pair of jeans that fit well. There is something about a man in jeans that fit properly. The way they hug his ass. Yum yum. I am absolutely an ass girl.

Bonus: If you couldn’t be convicted of any one type of crime, what criminal charge would you like to be immune to?

Being nude in public. I would love to be able to be immune to get arrested for flashing in public. Because nudity rocks.

Can I Forgive?

First things first. Congratulations to May More over at SexMatters for the new incarnation of Food 4 Thought which is now know as 4 Thoughts or Fiction. I am really excited about the new format and meeting some excellent new bloggers.

Now on to the current prompt “Forgiveness”

About a year ago I posted about unexpectedly running into Pet at a club. I acknowledged that despite my best attempts to put this lover firmly into my past I had not been as successful in moving on as I had thought. The encounter was unsatisfying. The unanswered questions were still unanswered. The feeling of confusion and rejection was still there, just buried further down. I certainly had not found another man that pushed my boundaries and excited me the way he had.

And then two days ago he popped up on my Twitter feed as liking a random comment I made about something that had happened a while ago. I was confused. I don’t follow him, I cut all ties. To prevent myself from stalking. Sometimes I go and do what he did and look up his Facebook profile but honestly I try to keep him firmly in my past.

It bugged me that he had clicked the fateful “like” button. Why couldn’t he just stalk like a normal person and leave no trace? Why did he have to disturb the peace I had come to with myself?

So I messaged him. Of course it was weird. He just talked to me like we were two friends chatting that had never missed a beat. All of my questions hung in my mind but I was not brave enough to ask them. I didn’t know how to without sounding like some emotionally retarded woman who couldn’t act like a grown up and be cool. Obviously our relationship followed an unconventional path, there was no expected pattern, or rules, or social conventions to govern it. That was one of the problems. I couldn’t talk about it to anyone because no-one would understand. And deep down I worried that I was making a mountain out of a molehill.

Eventually we addressed the elephant in the room. Did I have a moment when everything seemed to lift and it all made perfect sense? In short, no? Was his reasoning for what happened unexpected, yes? It was all very predictable really.

In the cold light of day reflecting on what happened. I know that I am never going to be happy about how it ended or that it ended at all. We never want good things to end. I also know that forgiveness is not about letting him off the hook. He acted like a complete Prima Donna with very little concern for others and from what I have observed it has not changed. His behavior was not OK and the fact that he hasn’t recognised that means he is still a twat. But I can still forgive. I have to.

Forgiveness is not about coming to the realisation that someone else’s behaviour is acceptable or even justifiable. It is about realising that events are what they are and that life goes on. It is about getting to a place where someone else’s actions no longer dictate your feelings or actions. So that is where I am right now. Holding the door to that chapter of my past and firmly closing it behind me.

This post is part of the new 4 Thoughts or Fiction. Click on the badge below to see who else is writing about forgiveness

TMI Tuesday – Back from Beyond

After a hiatus of a couple of weeks TMI is back! And better than ever!

1. The best part of your job is _____ .

The students. Even the annoying ones. Nothing beats the rush of seeing a student succeed. Or seeing a student finally, finally FINALLY, gets it or finally, finally, FINALLY following your instructions.

Last week I had two such moments. The first one was a student, who I have taught for two and a half years, persist through a task even though the initial reward I offered had been won by other students. Maths is not his strong suit, he has overcome some challenging circumstances and improved his attendance. He is growing into a young man who is almost ready to graduate successfully. I will cry at his graduation.

The second was another young man who I have just started teaching this year. He is a basket baller and a protégée of my work child. Until last week he seemed terrified of me. For some reason last week it came to his attention that the teacher he idolises is actually friends with me. Suddenly I was cool and he is talking to me! Weird thing to get excited about I know.

2. My favorite quote is _____ .

“Such is Life”

Made by Ned Kelly, an Australian folk hero. Interestingly he was also a criminal. He made the above statement as he went to the gallows in 1880. The modern version of this quote is “It is what it is” which is something I say a lot.

3. The best part of my day is _____ .

Getting in to bed at night. Sinking down into the mattress, feeling the day ease away and snuggling under the doona.

4. What is the hardest part of your job? How do you deal with it?

The parents. The vast majority of kid’s behavior problems, stem directly from parenting. If a kid is spouting some weird idea that sounds very un-teenager like you can bet your bottom dollar they heard it at home.

Ignoring some of the stuff they say/ do is one way of dealing with it. Another way I deal with difficult parents is politely and tactfully and then going and banging my head against the wall when they aren’t looking.

5. You must write a “how to guide” about something for which you have expertise. What is this guide about or tell us the title?

I am going out on a limb and saying giving oral sex. The title of my guide would be “The Best Things to do with Your Mouth That Don’t Involve Words”

Bonus: What would you name your boat?

Mr Jones has owned several boats over our time together. The most memorable one was “Imagination”. We didn’t name this one. The one with the best name was “Gemma” we definitely named her!

Bonus Bonus: A picture taken on board “Imagination”

This post is part of TMI Tuesday for 1 June 2020 as always there is much goodness to read and enjoy so head on over and check it out!