Lily’s relationship with Jenna is growing and taking Lily in a direction she never knew she needed.
“Oh my God!” Jenna placed her lunch on the table and flopped into a chair at the only table in the rooftop garden they both retreated to for lunch every day. “Rob is the most frustrating man to work with.”
Lily smiled knowingly and took a sip of her coffee.
“I mean what the fuck is it with asking you to do a task and then making you feel like an idiot because you haven’t done what he wanted and THEN taking your work and pretending it is his! Like WHAT the ACTUAL FUCK!” Jenna’s face was red with anger and her chest heaved as she sat scowling at her lunch.
“He has got me so worked up that I don’t even want my coffee,” Jenna thumped the mug onto the table.
“Yeh he does that.” Lily’s calm response hid a turmoil of her own. The fantasy of kissing Jenna would not leave her. Sitting opposite the raging woman added fuel to the fire. In her anger she seemed even more like a goddess, fierce, and glorious. Her breasts heaved under her shirt pulling apart the lapels feeding Lily’s obsession with seeing them naked.
“He isn’t even hot,” Jenna’s rage was passing and this last comment sounded like a childish tantrum.
“Oh my god imagine being his wife,” Lily giggled.
“I would rather not,” Jenna retorted, “Poor thing having to fuck someone with such a small cock.”
Lily was mildly shocked. After several weeks of sharing lunch breaks, she was still not entirely comfortable with Jenna’s bluntness. Apart from Jenna she had never thought about any of the people she worked with in a sexual way. The idea of imagining her colleagues naked was completely out of character for her. Talking about the size of a man’s penis so casually seemed weird.
An awkward silence descended. Lily had no idea how to respond with Jenna’s last statement. Jenna looked across the table at her.
“Don’t tell me you have never thought about the size of the partners’ junk,” a wry smile twisted at the corners of Jenna’s mouth.
“Of course not!” Lily could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.
“Why not?” Jenna’s voice was matter of fact. “Do you think they pay you the same courtesy and not fantasise about your boobs?”
It was all she could do to not squirm in her seat thinking about the number of times she had fantasised about Jenna’s boobs. “No,” she managed to squeak.
“So why is it so bad that we think about the size of their junk then?” Jenna took a sip of her coffee and opened her lunch.
“I don’t know,” Lily couldn’t look Jenna in the eye. “I guess it is just something I was always taught that nice girls don’t do,”
There was a pause as Jenna studied Lily closely. Her face was unreadable, but she was thinking about something.
“And where do you think being a nice girl is going to get you in this world?” The challenge in the question was undeniable. “Nice girls always end up getting screwed over.”
Lily took a breath and considered what Jenna had just said. She had been raised by conservative, Christian parents to be a nice girl. To be demure and lady like. Her parents had succeeded. She had been a virgin when she met the man she married. They had the white picket fence dream and the nice girl seemed to be on top of things. Until she had come home one day to find another woman’s underwear on her bedroom floor.
In the wash up as her marriage disintegrated Lily was forced to face up to some harsh realities about the white picket fence dream. The harshest one was being told by her husband that the reason why he had cheated was that she was “so fucking boring, especially in bed.”
It had been five years since these events. She had worked hard to establish herself at her new job and build a home for herself and her sons. Sitting here opposite this self-assured, opinionated woman it hit her hard between the eyes. She WAS too nice, nice girls did get screwed over.
There was defeat in her voice as she replied, “I guess you are right.”
Jenna sat in silence, eating her lunch, Lily finished her coffee. Feelings tumbled chaotically through her as she lay back in her chair looking up at the sky. She thought she had come so far with repairing her life, but this conversation made her realise that she still had a long way to go.
“What do you think about boobs?” The question hit Lily between the eyes making her sit straight up to face Jenna.
“Sorry?” Lily didn’t think she had heard right.
“Do you like looking at naked women?” Lily couldn’t understand how the hell Jenna kept such a straight face when she talked about this stuff. She knew she couldn’t even begin to form the words in her mind let alone ask someone that kind of thing while keeping a straight face.
“Welllll. I’m not a lesbian if that is what you mean?” The memory of looking at the lesbian porn while she masturbated prodded at her conscience. Heat burned under her collar and up Lily’s neck.
Jenna laughed. “Fuck you are such an innocent! It isn’t about falling in love with them, it is about appreciating their body. Looking at other people and appreciating their beauty in a non-sexual way is a great way to get more comfortable with your own body actually.”
The concept seemed contradictory. How could appreciating how attractive someone else is make you feel better about yourself? Lily wondered for a moment if hanging out with Jenna was a good idea. The comment made by Maddie on the day she first met Jenna popped into Lily’s mind. Overtaken by the craziness of this whole conversation Lily decided to put the rumour to bed.
“I know this is going to sound weird,” Lily started tentatively.
“In case you haven’t noticed weird is kinda my jam,” Jenna grinned.
“I heard that you are, or were, a pole dancer.” Lily couldn’t look Jenna in the eye. Gossiping was another thing she was taught nice girls don’t do.
There was a pause as Jenna studied Lily again, “I have never danced on a pole at a strip club for money,” The answer was guarded. “I do however dance on a pole at a studio with my friends and sometimes we give student performances that are only open to family and friends.”
Relief flooded through Lily. She knew Maddie was stirring up trouble! Then more questions tumbled in.
Jenna shrugged, “Why not? It is fun, a much better work out than the gym and the girls there don’t judge your arse if you aren’t as skinny and fit as them.”
“Ok,” Lily nodded as if she understood but she really didn’t.
“Would you like to come and watch sometime?” Jenna seemed a little nervous asking this question.
Lily hesitated. She was intrigued. She had also never been asked to socialise with the people she worked with. It was a big deal to her that a woman like Jenna, someone she admired for her don’t give a fuck attitude invited her into a private world that she kept hidden.
A feeling of defiance took over Lily. Of course she wanted to go and watch women dance on a pole. She absolutely wanted to step into Jenna’s world. Maybe she would learn to be fierce like her and drop the nice girl mentality.
“Where do I sign up?”
This post is part of Wicked Wednesday #424. Click on the image below to see who else is being Wicked this week.