Digging through Erotic Adventures posts I found this post written at the time of the first Slutwalk. This pre-dated the “me too” movement and some of the actions that fell out of this. Below are the words from my original post.
All around the world women and men are joining the movement that is Slutwalk. At first glance it looks like this movement is ‘one of those feminist things’. A protest by women about the treatment of women by our society but an article written by Hugo Schwyzer shows that men have a place in this movement.
Schwyzer talks about a truth that we are spoon fed as babies; men are at the mercy of their libidos. If a woman tantalizes a man’s libido then he will be forced to act in a way that shows no respect for her.
The truth many men know is that they can in fact have enormous respect and love for a woman who gives them an erection every time they walk into the room. However, being men, they don’t want to risk being bagged out by other men. So they keep the truth to themselves and don’t discuss it ever.
This lie has led to other stupid ideas being perpetrated as truths. Most of these revolve around the worth of a woman who society brands as a ‘slut’. In other words if a woman is open about her sexual wants and desires or dresses in a way that makes her appealing to men then she is less worthy than one who doesn’t.
What is truly sad is that many women believe these lies and pass them on to their sons and daughters as truths. We teach our daughters that being good equals being modest and chaste. We teach them to repress their natural desires and to be ashamed of their bodies. We teach our sons that women who express their sexuality and who are proud of their bodies are not desirable as wives and mothers.
Then we wonder why we live in a world of twisted individuals.
The author, Hugo Schwyzer, expresses his wish for his daughter;
I want her to have the freedom to express her sexuality safely and joyfully in whatever way she chooses, whenever she is ready (not a moment before). And I want her to grow up without shame about her own wanting and her wanting to be wanted.
I have my own wish for my son
May he grow up understanding that he is in control of his sexuality and knowing that he doesn’t have to act like all the other guys to be accepted. I want him to have the pleasure of knowing women who are comfortable with their sexuality and their bodies while taking the time to respect and empower the ones that don’t.
Fast forward about nine years and my son is now 20 years old. He has grown into a fine example of a man and I feel that I have been successful in my efforts to teach him to respect women and allow them to be themselves.