These questions were written by a fellow blogger who has taken a hiatus. I am still able to bring you my answers to his questions.
Question 1: Has anyone you know ever cheated on their significant other (behind their back) ? If so, tell us about the most scandalous. (were you there or how did you hear about it? How did you feel about it? Their significant other ever find out? They still together? etc.)
A very long time ago I was unhappy in my marriage. I fell for the charms of and engineer at my place of work. The whole situation was so twisted and awkward. We flirted a lot and one drunken night we got naked together.
I was consumed by guilt and told Mr Jones almost straight away. It was a long dark time in our marriage but we survived. Ironically, or perhaps this was just the way things were meant to be, but Mr Jones credits that series of events as the sign he needed that opening our bedroom was the right path for us. In 2018 we celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary.
Question 2: What is your most scintillating sexual secret? Any naughty secret you will take to your grave? If you have no secret that you haven’t told anyone, tell us the naughtiest one that you’ve told the fewest about.
I believe I have no secrets from the readers of this page so anything I type in response to this question should not come as a surprise to you guys. However I don’t have the same level of disclosure with everyone else in my world. About Eight years ago, before I became a teacher I was a little more open with the people around me, school mums etc.
Some of them found their occasional glimpses into my life extremely scintillating. For the most part I have been careful not to disclose my sexual lifestyle to my parents. They will go their grave not knowing that their daughter fucked an extraordinary number of me in her life and enjoyed almost every single one.
Question 3: What is the naughtiest secret you know about someone else? (friend, acquaintance, or friend of friend etc.)
Again, naughtiness is all relative isn’t it? Recently Johnny sucked the cock of Mr Jones. Later he teased me about making him do naughty things. It turns out that MM play has been a bit of a taboo for him. For me, men sucking men is something I enjoy watching and I don’t see anything wrong with it as long as it is consensual.
What is the naughtiest thing I know about someone? I suspect that one or two of my colleagues are more involved in my lifestyle than they let on. But it is unconfirmed.
Question 4: Do you keep anything about your sexual history secret from your significant other? (last or future if you are single) This could be number of partners, past reputation, a naughty act or encounter, crazy night, cheating, etc.)
I think my answer to question 1 clears this one up. The secret to Mr Jones’ and my marriage is complete honesty and full disclosure. There are no skeletons and there will be no surprises.
Question 5: Do you talk about your sex life with any of your friends? What would shock or surprise them most to know about your sex life?
Friends at work, church and in my family? Definitely not!!! Although I have introduced some non-vanilla friends into my vanilla life from time to time. The question “So how do you know Mr and Mrs Fix It?” was asked and answered very very vaguely. Most of those people do not need to know. I think some would not be judgmental but others I am not so sure.
People in my pole dance circle. Well that is a grey area. Certainly my old studio was populated with many who also enjoyed my lifestyle or at least were friendly to it. I recently started classes at a new studio the people there are a bit more mainstream so the jury is still out.
Mr and Mrs Fix It and others of course know most things about my sex life. And they are not shocked.
Question 6: Do you do any flirting or anything naughty online or on your phone that your significant other doesn’t know about? (last significant other if you are single) – this might be porn watching, online relationship, chat rooms, texting an ex, sharing pics, phone sex, etc.)
I don’t really discuss with Mr Jones that I watch live streams of men masturbating when I am masturbating. This is more because I find discussing my masturbating with him a bit awkward. It is the one thing I keep very much to myself. I do masturbate in front of him sometimes as part of a wider sex play but self love is just that, kept to myself.
Question 7: Is there any secret that if you found out a significant other was keeping from you, it would be a deal breaker and you would break up with them?
Again my answer to question 1 kind of clears this up. On a more broad sense I don’t tolerate people who are cheating on their partners. If I find out that a play friend or potential play friend is in that situation that is pretty much the end of the relationship.
Question 8: If you just happened to see a friend’s significant other kissing someone else outside a restaurant as you were driving by, what would you do? (tell friend? Talk to the significant other & get more facts? Keep mouth shut and stay out of it?)
I am a very firm believer that other people’s relationships are their business. Through swinging and through my online life I have met many people who feel trapped in relationships that don’t meet their sexual needs. The reasons why these people don’t end the relationship and seek out one more suited to them are many and varied.
I do not judge but as I said in the previous answer I do not engage sexually with people who are cheating on their partner. In terms of informing a friend their partner is cheating on them? I would be more likely to discuss the situation with their partner and encourage honesty and disclosure. It is a damned if you do and damned if you don’t situation. You could end up alienating your friend through good intentions and your could end up losing your friend if they feel you are on their partner’s side.
Question 9: Is total honesty and openness the best policy in a relationship or are there some things that are better left not shared? (can you name a few?)
Yes. I make a joke about honesty in my relationship
“You can’t even lie about putting cold beer in the cuboard”
Mr Jones is very particular about keeping beer cold once it has been chilled. Once I bought a carton of beer and didn’t want to put all of it in the fridge because I wanted the fridge space for something else. Mr Jones of course noticed the open carton in the pantry and asked me “Was that carton cold when you bought it.” In that moment I desperately wanted to lie and say “No” but I couldn’t.
The moral of the story, you can’t even lie about beer.
Question 10: Have you ever been hurt by a lie or secret (or by a serial liar or narcissist?) If so, what was one or two of their worst lies or secrets.
I have never been in a primary relationship with a narcissist but I once got very entangled in a secondary relationship with a narcissist. The upshot of the situation was that he had recently split with his wife, or so he told me, and he was footloose and fancy free. We became close, too close. In the meantime he started dating another woman. She thought their relationship was exclusive and the vanilla type. He told me that they were just casual fuck partners. In the meantime his wife, who was also friends with me and Mr Jones was kicking around in the background. How he thought that whole house of cards was going to last I will never know.
I walked away and never made contact again. Not before he did some major damage to my confidence and a certain amount of damage to our marriage. Mr Jones kept in contact with his wife and I am happy to report she is now in a much more healthy and functional relationship.