2021 Not Stating the Obvious

When my son was in high school, he was given an assignment to write an autobiographical excerpt about a time in his life that was formative. It so happened that we had travelled as a family in a caravan for three months when he was about 10 years old. This experience seemed to be custom made for his assignment.

Both he and his teacher were cautious about this approach for different reasons. His teacher because he felt that writing about visiting a whole bunch of places would not really scratch the surface of who my son was. My son because how do you choose a single experience from such a rich tapestry of stuff? Is canyoning in Karijini national park more life changing than petting a crocodile in Darwin? Or sitting next to rock art in Kakadu that pre-dates any cave painting in Europe? (OK that was probably a stretch. A ten-year-old boy doesn’t care about that kind of thing)

In the end he did write about his trip but not about a particular location that he visited. He wrote about a rather peculiar solution that he invented as a means of having to cope with being in very close proximity to his sister twenty – four hours a day. (Think back of a car, in a caravan or campsite.) His narrative focused on learning to find a way to maintain personal space when being crammed up against blood relatives. In a way it got to the crux of such situations. What we learn when we go on adventures is not just the geography or culture of the place we are visiting. We learn a whole lot of side stuff, how to relate as a family, how to meet foreigners, respect for customs different from ours, respect for the environment. The list is endless.

Fast forward to 2021. I find myself planning another adventure. This one does not involve an eight- and a ten-year-old. Rather it involves a forty-eight-year-old and a fifty-five-year-old that have been married for 22 years. I have posted about our new yacht. I am not entirely sure if I have explicitly stated it on these pages, but our plan is to spend six months of 2021 sailing the Queensland Coast. The details of how we got to this decision are a bit convoluted, but it does involve a compromise, postponing of a long-held pact between Mr Jones and myself, Covid-19 related border issues and ageing relatives.

And so, we will set off somewhere between 10 and 14 April 2021. When I looked at this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt, “Looking Forward to 2021”, this voyage was an obvious choice to write about. Who doesn’t want to hear about freedom, sun kissed beaches, hidden tropical islands and coral reefs? But that is not what I wanted to write about.

At the inception Mr Jones was very worried about this voyage. He almost DIDN’T sign the bill of sale even though owning a boat like this and sailing to far away places has been his dream for many years. HIS dream, not mine. Herein lies the snag. In the beginning I was a reluctant sailor. I tolerated his fantasy and went along to keep the peace. Over time, as I documented in this post, I was worn down. I learned a little about the mechanics of sailing. I learned a little about navigation. I fell in love with the marine environment.

I was the one that pushed for the purchase of this yacht. My friend and I discussed my change of heart and she said that sometimes wives go into “make it work” mode. We recognise that something is necessary for the happiness of our husbands and families and we make it happen. I think that has happened here. I wasn’t terribly excited about the caravan odyssey that we took our children on when my husband proposed it. In fact, I flat out stated “I am not driving to Western Australia with two kids in the car.”

And then we went. The whole time we wished we could stay longer, see more, do more. It was a life changing experience for everyone. There are times in your life when you are faced with a choice to take a road that most people don’t follow. This is one of the times I am choosing to take the least trodden path. Experience has told me that this choice is not easy but it is the most rewarding.

A forty-foot catamaran seems big, but after a while of not being able to get off and anything can become very small. Land based travel is different. You can go for a walk, get away from the caravan / car and breathe. On a boat it is harder. Mr Jones worries that we will struggle as a couple. It is not an unreasonable thing to worry about. I would be lying if I said that I don’t have some concerns. But I am in “make it work” mode and so I am not letting the concerns stop me. I know that we will work out a way to relate to each other. Both of us are going to do some growing in ways we don’t expect.

So, what am I looking forward to in 2021? I am looking forward to following the path less travelled and seeing what is over the horizon.

And not stabbing my husband to death and dumping him overboard.

Dead Calm - Nicole Kidman as Rae Ingram holding a spear gun by Jim Sheldon  - ABC News (Australian Broadcasting Corporation)
Source: Australian Broadcasting CorporationT

This post is part of Wicked Wednesday prompt #449 Looking forward to 2021. To see who else is being wicked click here, or on the image below

   

Author: gemmi72

Wife, swinger, blogger. An ordinary woman living life one day at a time dealing with the complications of moonlighting as a sex goddess.

12 thoughts on “2021 Not Stating the Obvious”

  1. We had a friend that did a simular thing to you gem. She sold or gave away almost everything, includeing the house, and were going to sail around aus. They did and last I know are still living on the boat at manly marina. They wouldn’t change a thing even if they could.
    Ps. I’d be like Mr jones though. Even in these times it’s the man who feels responsible if something goes physicly wrong. Good luck!
    I really hope it’s much better than you can possibly imagine😎😍

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  2. Envious! That sounds like a great adventure. Make sure you both get some personal space. When one person is in the cockpit the other is on the trampoline between the hulls. A great opportunity to strengthen your bond while trying not to kill each other.
    Do you meditate? If not it might be a good practice to pick up. It has helped to pause between being pushed by the kids in the house and snapping. Bon Voyage! I can’t wait to read your adventures!

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  3. Wow! That sounds amazing! But I can totally see your concerns. Maybe lockdowns have been a preparation for that sort of close quarters “stuck with each other” vacation?
    I totally understand the need to sometimes go with the flow to make our loves ones happy. I think it is necessary sometimes. It is a way of showing our live and commitment. Compromise. And it does sound like quite an adventure! I look forward to reading about it.

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  4. I have spent some time on a large sailboat with my cousin. He is a liveaboard. His boat is a 46ft? CSY. It’s large and comfortable, two bedrooms, two baths, a nice sized living/kitchen area. Center cockpit. All teak wood interior. It’s an older boat he has meticulously restored. I spent a few weeks with him at different times, and my kids travelled to the Bahamas with him a few years back.

    I really enjoyed my time on the boat, but not being able to get off easily was frustrating to me. I am active while he is content sitting and reading a book. I wanted to explore towns, sit in a small bar and maybe meet a few people. Go on a hike.

    However, the views and relaxation was amazing. The biggest thing I missed was my wife. Not only for hanging out, but when you are used to daily sex, a few days in it sucks… in a bad way… Overall it was a good time and I think you will enjoy it. My only suggestion would be to spend some time actually docked and pay the damn fee. Not the whole time, but enough to allow some freedom. Mooring or anchoring off shore all the time made me feel stranded at times. I offered to pay the dock fee, but he didn’t like being at the marinas. Although he lives at one… Look forward to hearing your adventures. I think you will truly enjoy it.

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    1. Where we are going there won’t be a whole bunch of marinas but definitely will be heading to land. The Queensland coast is fringed by a long reef with a multitude of small and larger islands. Which we intend to visit. There will be much hiking and snorkelling. We are getting into Facebook groups etc that will enable us to make contact with other people doing the same thing, there is a large cruising yacht community out there who do this trip annually.

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  5. I will subscribe to all Aussie papers now to make sure I don’t miss an article about the wife who threw her hubby overboard… just joking of course. I really admire you for doing this trip – and also for having done the one in the caravan. It’s exciting, daring, and even if it’s “make it work” mode, like you said, you learn a lot about yourself and those around you. I also love the subject your son worked on for that assignment. I look forward to read more about your adventures this year, but also about the lessons you learn 🙂
    ~ Marie xox

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  6. What a great way to spend half a year. I’m a bit jealous but also feel apprehensive. I have a major fear of water but think a trip like this is one in a lifetime. How would I possibly say no? Good for you for inspiring and pushing him to do it.
    I’ve also had some tolerated hobbies that have become loves of my own. It’s funny how taking an interest in others vices can change the playing field a bit.
    I love the story about your son. The little minds sure do have a way of putting things into perspective for us older ones..
    Thanks for sharing!

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  7. Oh Mrs Jones how wonderful – I am not great with boats but am with adventure. And just a mention for your son – what a great topic to delve into – personal space – he sounds very self aware
    May xx

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  8. This sounds both exciting and challenging. Go you for embracing your husband’s dream so fully. Also agree with May – your son’s perspective for his project sounds individual – I approve

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