Carmen and Ryan Part 8: Keeping Secrets

It has been a while since I have had the time and brain space to work on the story of Carmen and her younger lover, Ryan. At the end of the last installment Carmen had enjoyed a “meeting” with a young attractive sales representative. Her work colleagues suspect she has “something going on” but so far have not been able to uncover her secret.

At the door of the medical centre Carmen steeled herself for the onslaught when she entered. She was disappointed. Jenny was busy with a patient and Carmen was able to slip past her. In her office she became engrossed in emails and phone messages. Just because it was Friday everyone thought that their issue HAD to be resolved before the end of the day. Time passed quickly before she was interrupted by Jenny,

“So what is the goss with the AmpliMed guy?”

Carmen continued typing her email and didn’t look up at Jenny. She hoped that this ruse would send Jenny back to her desk. It didn’t work, Jenny invited herself in and sat on the chair opposite Carmen’s desk.

“I am not going away,” Jenny leaned forward so that Carmen was unable to keep ignoring her. “Is that guy the one you have been banging?”

Carmen stopped typing and gave Jenny her full attention. Even taking into consideration Jenny’s ability to gossip this was a leap. “Whatever gave you that idea?”

“Well, it is pretty obvious you have been banging someone, and the way you went all doe eyed when he turned up seemed like it was likely to be him.”

Carmen took a moment to digest this information. It was an interesting conclusion. She allowed herself to wonder what the outcome would be if she let Jenny keep thinking this. It might be easier than explaining to her that she was “banging” one of her son’s friends.

“What makes you think I am BANGING, as you say, someone?” Carmen asked. She didn’t think she had been acting THAT differently.

“It is so freaking obvious,” Jenny grinned at her, “The distant smile, constantly checking your phone, and when he walked in you were like a bitch on heat.”

Carmen squirmed uncomfortably in her chair. She felt as if Jenny had been reading her mind earlier. She HAD been like a bitch on heat. Or more accurately like a cougar on the prowl. Something in her HAD changed since her encounters with Ryan. It was like a switch had been flicked in her body and she saw every meeting with an attractive man as an opportunity to fuck like an animal. He mind wandered back to a memory of being wrapped around Ryan while his cock was buried deep inside her. Warmth flooded through her belly. Under her desk she pressed her thighs together. If she didn’t see him soon she didn’t know how she would be able to cope.

“So?” Jenny’s persistence was amazing. Carmen wavered. It would be good to confide in someone. Are you freaking serious! Sensible Carmen jolted her back into reality. Carmen was reminded that Jenny was not a person to trust as a confidante. Anything she told Jenny would be common knowledge among all the other receptionists within a day.

Carmen smiled, she hoped in a way that didn’t make Jenny think anything too outrageous. “A lady never kisses and tells.” She turned back to her computer screen, “Now don’t make me push you out of my office.”

Jenny lingered a little while longer, but Carmen refused to acknowledge her presence. Carmen knew that there would be gossip, Jenny would not be able to help herself, but she hoped that it would be vague enough that it wouldn’t get her into serious trouble. Besides what if she WAS banging the AmpliMed Rep? She was single, as far as she knew so was he, they were adults. As long as she didn’t start ordering stupid amounts of stuff from him there was no problem.

A message flashed onto the screen of Carmen’s phone. Her heart skipped hoping it would be Ryan, she was a little disappointed.

Looking forward to tonight.  Her friend Liz sent.

Carmen smiled. Liz would be the person to confide in. She would listen and reassure her. A much better choice of confidante than Jenny. Carmen felt herself relax and refocus on her work. Thoughts of Ryan and Corey were pushed to the back of her mind as Carmen dived into the tasks she needed to finish before closing her office for the weekend.

To re-visit earlier posts all of the links can be found on the Ryan and Mrs B Page

Thirty Dirty Questions- Q4

Question 4: What do you think about when you masturbate?

This is an interesting question. I don’t masturbate a lot. I grew up in a repressed Catholic environment. Sex was not discussed. Touching yourself was strongly discouraged. Anything to do with exploring your body was strongly discouraged. As an adult I have gotten past a lot of hurdles related to this up bringing but masturbating is not one of them.

I guess part of my aversion to it has been re-enforced by the pop culture stereotype of men masturbating because they could not have real sex. Somewhere in the twisted canals of my brain the idea that masturbating is the desperate furtive act of a person denied their sexual needs took root. My Catholic upbringing also attempted to entrench in me that women should not enjoy sex. This idea did not take root thankfully but I was very cautious about displaying my rejection of it. Because there is this idea in the world of popular culture that women shouldn’t appear to like sex but a good wife will provide it. So her man doesn’t have to masturbate???

OK so I had some twisted ideas that stayed with me until I was well into my thirties. I don’t even want to discuss the “blue pill” thinking that dominated my early marriage. I am past a lot of that now but I still don’t masturbate a lot. Privacy is a problem in our house. I have two adult children who don’t always understand the concept of privacy. Along with two elderly parents who also just trot on into our part of the house when it suits them. Getting time to myself when I know I won’t be interrupted to relax and do something like masturbating it is very infrequent.

As I get older and read more blogs, I am becoming more relaxed about it. But the time when I am most likely to masturbate is when I can’t sleep. This process is just a way to get my body to relax. I love the afterglow feeling which I also get with sex. The difference with sex is often I don’t get to lie quietly and enjoy it until I go to sleep. There is other people and other things happening.

What do I think about when I do masturbate? I don’t have a go to scenario or story. Sometimes I think about activities that I would like to try. Double penetration for example. I fantasise about being taken from behind while I am riding Mr Jones. Other times my fantasies are about domination. Or about being in control of my partner and making him fulfil my every wish with no guilt about not pleasing him. I have not taken a man’s arse for a long time but it does entice me. I love the thought of holding a beautiful arse in my palms as I penetrate him. I have the power. There are others but often they are fragmented and fleeting. They don’t stay in my mind long enough to take root.

Sometimes I think about a recent encounter with a lover. Images of their face or the sound of their pleasure trigger a response in me. I remember the feeling of their hands on me or their face pressed between my thighs. Replaying favourite moments of time together is enticing and can give me deep pleasure.

And with that I think I may need some alone time.

If you want to read answers to other questions you can use the links at my Thirty Dirty Questions page to find related posts.

TMI Tuesday – Do We Match?

The questions this week come from a TV show called “The Match Game”. I don’t really remember this show but I have recently been introduced to Ru Paul’s Drag Race by The Unicorn which includes a parody dating show “The Snatch Game” which is hilarious.

1. Are you ready to go? Where are you going?

I am ready for many things; being blindfolded and feeling a stranger’s face between my thighs. Going into the wild where the weather may change and the sandbar on the map is not exactly where it is in real life.

2. There is something wrong with dating, what is it?

I am going to go out on a limb here and say the internet has simultaneously been the best and worst thing for dating in history. While the internet has no doubt allowed many couples to meet who would never have crossed paths in pre-internet days; Dating sites have also created a culture that resounds with selfishness, snap judgement and just plain bad manners.

3. Born to be wild–what is your wild?

I have been wild for so long that I forget that it is wild to mainstream people. A few days ago I was sitting on the back deck of our boat in a rather picturesque location. The weather was sunny and warm and I chose to be naked from the waist up. This seemed like such a great idea until other boats started going past and waving to us. I became a little self conscious.

I was less so later in the day when we went walking on a nearby sandbar.

4. Pick your best feature and sell it to us?

Right now I am in a headspace that involves making things work. Over the last few weeks I have faced a few situations that have really taken me out of my comfort zone. In the words of a friend “courage is when you do something in spite of your fears rather than in the absence of them”

5. Fill in the blank. This may sound a little weird but _____ .

“Can you just stand with your head out of the porthole for a while?”

As I was standing there contemplating the serenity of the inlet we were moored in Mr Jones proceeded to test out the new mini massager that I had purchased before our departure. I stayed upright as long as I could!!

Bonus: If you were trapped in a store all night, in which store would you want to be trapped?

An adult store.

I just hope that I wouldn’t have to pay for the merchandise I would test out during the night!!!

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. Click on the button below to see who else is sharing

TMI Tuesday blog

Hello Mr Jones

Because we are on this yacht and there is frequently amazing scenery Mr Jones and I have been taking the time to snap each other in different poses and with different backgrounds. Last week we began our Sinful Sunday Journey with an image of me. It is sometimes impressive what you can snap when you are just chilling with a camera and being naked. This shot was taken during the weekend we spent with our friends.

I really do love a good cock shot. And this one is delicious.

This post is part of this week’s Sinful Sunday. Please click on the Lips and see who else is sinning

Sinful Sunday

Friday Flashback – Anticipation

Ok, so it isn’t Friday but I put this post together a while ago and only just got a chance to activate it.

The sight of the skirt laid out on the bed made Chrissy’s heart skip a beat. Everything that had happened during her day faded into background noise as she stood looking at the dull gleam of the leather. Her eyes slid over to the silver clock on the bedside table. It took moments for her to process the time and realise what that meant. She had a schedule to meet, she was expected to be prepared thoroughly and correctly and most importantly, punctually. The sight of the skirt was just the beginning.

She peeled off her clothes and deposited them in the hamper before she stepped into the bathroom. Standing naked in front of the sink she picked up her pink razor and began to methodically and thoroughly to remove all of the hair on her body, paying particular attention to the short dark hairs on her pubic mound. She spent extra moments smoothing the soft sensitive skin there, making sure that every hair had been removed. Before she realised what she was doing her fingers slipped inside her slit. The feel of her hot wet cunt was almost too much to resist. It took more than a little willpower to stop herself from exploring further into her slick wet folds but she knew the consequences of indulging. With a firm determination she removed her hand.

 According to the routine set out for her she made the shower very hot. Steam billowed up, filling the bathroom as she eased her body under the stinging needles of the shower. Obediently she scrubbed herself with the exfoliator thoroughly as the hot water turned her skin a bright, glowing pink. Only when she had scrubbed from head to toe did she turn the water off and step out of the steam filled cubicle tingling all over. When she was dry she picked up the moisturiser and rubbed her entire body with lotion, paying particular attention to the skin on her ass and thighs.

Nervously she glanced at the clock on the bedside table as she began to dress herself. Sir was never, ever late and she knew that he would be less than pleased if she was not ready when he arrived. She left the skirt until last, donning the white blouse making sure all of the buttons were fastened, right up to the neck. Next was the suspender belt and stockings, she took a precious minutes adjusting the seams, making sure they were perfectly straight before she stepped into the patent leather pumps. Finally, the one garment that hadn’t left her mind since she had stepped into the bedroom earlier. Almost reverently she slipped it over her head and slid it into place. With great care she made sure all the fasteners were in place before she stepped in front of the mirror to check that she hadn’t missed anything. She resisted turning to get a glimpse of her back; she wasn’t ready to see her bare butt exposed by the cut of her skirt. She didn’t want to dwell too much on what lay ahead.

Shivering she stood in front of Him, eyes downcast, waiting for his instruction. Her nipples strained against the thin fabric of her blouse, her knees trembled slightly. It took all of her will not to clench her bare buttocks as he walked around her, inspecting her. For a second his hand rested on the naked skin framed by the skirt he had gotten made especially for her. Especially so that he could look at her beautiful ass while she was fully dressed. Especially because he knew how much she loved the feel of his hand on her ass and it pleased him to think that when she was dressed this way she was always on edge, waiting for the sting of his palm or something else.

What pleased him even more was the knowledge she loved the pain as much as she loved the pleasure of his tongue on her clit. Sometimes the feel of a firm hand on her ass while he had his cock buried deep inside her made her cum so hard she pushed his cock out of her.

With one finger he stroked her perfectly groomed hair before gently placing the collar around her neck. At the feeling of the soft leather her heart started racing, almost uncontrollably. The lead clicked into the clasp at the front of her neck, she tilted her head up a little to let her eyes rest on his face for a moment, and she noted the approval and a hint of lust in his eyes. The clamour of her groin became almost unbearable. Nothing else mattered to her now. Anything could happen to her tonight, any pain, any indignity was repaid by the pleasure she got from knowing he wanted her.  

Black Datex Spanking Skirt

TMI Tuesday – Money Money Money

1. Has money ever ruined a relationship for you?

Money is not something that I place great importance on. I am not hugely concerned about accumulating large amounts of money. Nor am I concerned particularly with spending large amounts of money. In fact I am appalled at the amount of money some people will spend on things like clothing, shoes and the like.

Consequently money has never been a feature of the discussions between myself and partners. Mr Jones is interested in business, economics and the general mechanics of making money. He has been successful in living a life that involves a minimal amount of debt and we are reaping the rewards of that now. We don’t fight about money. But really we don’t fight about anything.

2. Have you ever successfully negotiated a pay raise?

In short no. As I said in No 1 money is not a motivator for me. I have never chosen a job based on the amount of money it would pay. If I did I certainly would not have changed careers to become a teacher.

3. What piece of MONEY advice would you tell your younger self?

Don’t get in to debt if you can avoid it. If you can’t pay cash for a small item like a new car or new furniture, then don’t buy it.

4. Have you ever paid for sex or been paid for sex?

No.

I was offered money once by a Twitter follower to visit his house and have sex with him. He was drunk and the amount he offered was insulting. He is one of the few people I have ever blocked on social media.

5. Are you hiding a financial secret?

Not really. I don’t have a secret account or a stash of clothing that I daren’t tell Mr Jones how much it really cost. There are a number of people, mostly the ones I work with, who wonder how much the yacht cost. I am always vague about it and answer something like “enough”. Yes I could have bought a house with the same money. But hey, right now it IS my house.

Bonus: Have you made someone smile today? If not, please take up the challenge and make someone smile.

Everyone loves boobs right?

Snapped by Mr Jones at a small island we stopped at for a stroll

Relaxing In To It

As I write this I am still wondering at the concept that we have only been on this journey for a week. It almost feels like we have been doing this always. In the weeks leading up to our departure I worried about missing my pets. One week in and I was scrolling through photos on my phone and I saw a picture of my bird. I was like “yes, I remember him”.

Part of the reason I think I am feeling this way is the weekend we just spent with some good friends who travelled to meet us where we are staying for a little while. For two days clothing was optional, alcohol was consumed when and as much or as little as desired, and there was no guard on what we said or did. It wasn’t an orgy but that didn’t matter. We were free.

I had a moment of realisation at one point that for the next 20 weeks I will not have to guard the division between Gemma and Mrs Jones as carefully. For this time instead of 80% Mrs Jones and 20% Gemma I will be 80% Gemma and 20% Mrs Jones. Worrying what the neighbours think will be a secondary issue.

Being in a space where you are yourself and there is no judgement is very liberating. It is something that can be difficult to achieve. It is also something that can be hard to accept. For too long most of us have to be careful of what we say and do. Especially those of us who like to do things other people consider to be morally questionable. For us finding a place where we can be in the bubble of complete acceptance is rare.

I find myself frequently telling people I am the most fortunate person. Currently I am living the dream. Many people that I speak to are envious of our opportunity. They wish they could be like us; on this journey. I am acutely aware of how privileged I am. How fortunate I am that I can afford to buy this yacht, how fortunate I am that I can afford to take this much leave from work, how fortunate I am that I can leave my children to fend for themselves for this time. The list goes on and on. This weekend added another element to my good fortune.

I am living in a marriage with a person who gets great joy from seeing me be sexually fulfilled. Not only that, I have friends who think the same way and accept me for me. In fact, if they are to be believed they actually think I am cool and sexy. A goddess if you please. If there was a utopia I believe I went there last weekend. The comedown was not as harsh as it could have been. Although I feel that for our friends it may have been a little worse because they all had to return to work on Monday. I merely took my yacht a little further up the coast to find another idyllic beach….

This post is part of this week’s Wicked Wednesday. To see who else is being wicked click on the button below.

Wicked Wednesday

Popping Our Sinful Sunday Cherry

I have not really pursued erotic photography in the time I have been blogging. Whilst I visit and appreciate Sinful Sunday I have not really participated before.

During the first week of our sailing voyage I posted a photo I took on the deck with some spectacular scenery in the background. For some reason the Twitterverse liked it. Mr Jones became interested in creating more images and here we are. This image is our first entry in Sinful Sunday. I am hoping that we will make many more in the coming months.

To see who else is being sinful click on the icon below

Sinful Sunday

The Red Pill for Women

I blogged recently about Red pill versus blue pill thinking from a male perspective. Or rather a woman’s ideas about a man changing from a blue pill to a red pill thinker. I have also explained my thoughts about the biology of female attraction to Alpha males as opposed to their entrapment of betas. It would be generalising to say that all men who are Alphas are red pill men and all betas are blue pill but the similarities are there. All this is awesome but can a woman “Choose the Red pill”?

I think the answer is yes. There are women out there who are stronger and more dominant than others. I am not talking about the Karens of the world here. I am talking about the women who command respect through achievement and integrity, not through being the one who will complain to the manager or is the queen bee of her friendship group.

How not to be a 'Karen' - ABC Everyday

Several years ago, I was part of a group of mothers who all had children in the same year level at the primary school that The Unicorn attended with her brother. We celebrated several girls’ nights. Which were essentially shared meals at a local pub where alcohol was consumed, and gossip swapped. At the time I was blogging, and I had just started studying Education. I was a bit more relaxed about hiding my lifestyle and several of these women knew about my writing, if not the more sordid details of my ‘after dark’ persona.

The conversations on these evenings were varied and often controversial. Something I found amusing. When it came to sex there was not a “type” among us. One member of the group would be what many would call prudish. Sex was not her thing, porn was confusing to her and her knowledge of the female body, including her own, was limited. She found our different ideas and experiences interesting but still maintained sex was not for her. Perhaps she was asexual? Another member of the group fell into the more common stereotype. That is, she complained about how her husband “harassed her” for sex. Interestingly there was another woman who complained about the exact opposite.

There is a train of thought that suggests that all of us should have been entering our sexual prime. We were still young, fit, and healthy. Our children had started school and the constant grind of dealing with small children was lessening. We no longer had to micromanage every moment of the lives of small beings and our partners were more than capable of stepping up. Clearly because we were out together completely free of children and husbands and the need to think about what was for dinner or if everyone ate it. This was our time.

A woman who was strong could take that opportunity to become a Red pill woman. In the movie that spawned the Red vs blue ideal, The Matrix; the female lead, Trinity, is the epitome of a Red Pill woman. She is a true badass and can look after herself. She is not afraid to tell men to go fuck themselves when they are not strong enough for her taste. Additionally, she has and amazing wardrobe! Our culture supresses women like this. We fill little girl’s heads with Disney stories that all revolve around women seeking their prince charming and finding their forever love. Even more modern versions of Disney Princesses such as Rapunzel and Elsa still have a love interest as a primary goal. Despite all of the hype that they were pioneers, breaking the Disney mould.

The Matrix Reloaded | Trinity (Carrie-Anne Moss)

But amongst our little group there were women who were still playing the victim. Complaining about how demanding their husbands are or how weak they are. It is a trap that is easy to fall into, sitting with a group of women making fun of the men in the world. Laughing at how stupid, inept and generally disappointing they are. A woman who was my hairdresser for many years would complain how her husband never let his sons take dance classes “because it was gay!” (not going to touch that topic as offensive as it is). Her complaint was that he was turning his sons into the kind of men who sat around got drunk and said and did stupid stuff. Not a desirable feature I will admit but the irony of this situation is that her husband WAS that guy and SHE married him.

Choosing the red pill is not about totally opposing everything in your life that you don’t like. It is not about trying to change other people; that is impossible. It is about changing yourself. It is about making yourself happy. Women are notorious for not asking directly for what they want or worse, downplaying the importance of what they want, and then complaining when they don’t get what they want. Even something as simple as saying “no” when they are approached by a man is out of some women’s capabilities. We deflect and make excuses and then complain when he doesn’t get the hint.

For women choosing the Red pill is about owning what you want. A Red pill woman doesn’t make excuses. She says no, and she doesn’t take other people’s crap. When she is asked, she will tell you what she wants and if you aren’t up to it she will also tell you. Red pill women don’t complain about their appearance or their bodies. They are proud. So, what if I am curvy? I like cake and curves are sexy. If there is something I want to change then I will change it in my own time, in my own way. So what if you don’t like something about me? Your ideas about me are actually none of my business.

Changing or maintaining your thinking is difficult. It takes work. It often requires you to cut ties with people who are firmly entrenched in the negative, blue pill, way. Sometimes you have to physically avoid certain situations so you don’t get sucked in to that hole. But at the end of the day it is definitely worth it.

TMI Tuesday – The Good Life Edition

1. What is an ideal weekend for you?

An ideal weekend would consist of some serious play time that included about two hours of continuous sex of some form, a large portion would involve fucking. Some time spent on the boat in a sunny part of Moreton Bay being at least semi naked in the sun and time to sleep and recover from the fucking.

2. What is the craziest job you would consider taking?

There are many people in the world who think I am crazy for doing the job I do now. Although I find it mostly rewarding. Despite frequent rants about troublesome students and Central Leadership making stupid unrealistic demands.

Apart from this job the craziest job I have considered was working as a scientist for the summer season in Antarctica. I was much younger then. I didn’t get very far through the application process before I realised it probably wasn’t for me.

3. Where would you rate yourself as a kisser on a scale of 1 to 10? (10 being the best kisser ever!)

I am OK at kissing. I wouldn’t call myself great so maybe a 6 or 7.
A play friend I knew once had this feedback system going where you gave him a rating about certain skills he felt were important. Maybe I should start something like that.

4. What do you like most and least about your significant other’s cooking?

The think I like most about Mr Jones’ cooking is that when he does it I don’t have to. Don’t get me wrong, I generally LIKE cooking. What I don’t like is having to think about WHAT to cook after a day of work and having to plan what I need to buy to do said cooking.

What do I like least about Mr Jones cooking? That when it is his turn to cook I often end up doing the planning and decision making that is the part I don’t like about having to cook myself.

5. How has smartphone photography changed your world?

I am not sure if smartphone photography changed my world a lot. Certainly during the early years of my marraige and parenthood a physical camera was a big part of my life. Since having a smartphone I did move away from needing a separate item just to take photos.

A hiking trip that involved rock hopping accross a creek and a swim for my phone has convinced me that for our current, water based, adventure that I would invest in a waterproof camera. I do not regret my choice but I do still use my phone.

Bonus: What is a good life?

To me a good life is one that has been well lived. In doing this a person has achieved their goals, and been happy and productive. I don’t believe a person can be productive if they have not contributed to making the world a better place. Just accumulating stuff or satisfying your personal whims is not enough.

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. To see who else is sharing click on the icon below.

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