Question 4: What do you think about when you masturbate?
This is an interesting question. I don’t masturbate a lot. I grew up in a repressed Catholic environment. Sex was not discussed. Touching yourself was strongly discouraged. Anything to do with exploring your body was strongly discouraged. As an adult I have gotten past a lot of hurdles related to this up bringing but masturbating is not one of them.
I guess part of my aversion to it has been re-enforced by the pop culture stereotype of men masturbating because they could not have real sex. Somewhere in the twisted canals of my brain the idea that masturbating is the desperate furtive act of a person denied their sexual needs took root. My Catholic upbringing also attempted to entrench in me that women should not enjoy sex. This idea did not take root thankfully but I was very cautious about displaying my rejection of it. Because there is this idea in the world of popular culture that women shouldn’t appear to like sex but a good wife will provide it. So her man doesn’t have to masturbate???
OK so I had some twisted ideas that stayed with me until I was well into my thirties. I don’t even want to discuss the “blue pill” thinking that dominated my early marriage. I am past a lot of that now but I still don’t masturbate a lot. Privacy is a problem in our house. I have two adult children who don’t always understand the concept of privacy. Along with two elderly parents who also just trot on into our part of the house when it suits them. Getting time to myself when I know I won’t be interrupted to relax and do something like masturbating it is very infrequent.
As I get older and read more blogs, I am becoming more relaxed about it. But the time when I am most likely to masturbate is when I can’t sleep. This process is just a way to get my body to relax. I love the afterglow feeling which I also get with sex. The difference with sex is often I don’t get to lie quietly and enjoy it until I go to sleep. There is other people and other things happening.
What do I think about when I do masturbate? I don’t have a go to scenario or story. Sometimes I think about activities that I would like to try. Double penetration for example. I fantasise about being taken from behind while I am riding Mr Jones. Other times my fantasies are about domination. Or about being in control of my partner and making him fulfil my every wish with no guilt about not pleasing him. I have not taken a man’s arse for a long time but it does entice me. I love the thought of holding a beautiful arse in my palms as I penetrate him. I have the power. There are others but often they are fragmented and fleeting. They don’t stay in my mind long enough to take root.
Sometimes I think about a recent encounter with a lover. Images of their face or the sound of their pleasure trigger a response in me. I remember the feeling of their hands on me or their face pressed between my thighs. Replaying favourite moments of time together is enticing and can give me deep pleasure.
And with that I think I may need some alone time.
If you want to read answers to other questions you can use the links at my Thirty Dirty Questions page to find related posts.