Over the course of this year I have been working through this list of questions that originally came from the blog of Brigit Delaney. Along the way I have been joined in my journey by Marie at Rebel’s Notes and Mike at Marriage, Sex and More. You can find links to my other answers on the Thirty Dirty Questions Page.
How do you feel about being naked?
I sleep naked. I have ever since I lived in a house where I had my own bedroom and privacy was assured. I remember once at boarding school one of the older girls scandalising everyone because she slept naked. She argued that it was warmer than wearing pyjamas. I am not sure if that is the case but teenagers will come up with the weirdest reasons to justify their choices.
Fast forward to today and how I feel about being naked changes with the number and identity of the people around me.
In general I don’t feel entirely comfortable walking around the house (or the boat for that matter) completely naked. Even if there is no one around, except for Mr Jones of course, I am still not entirely comfortable being completely naked for extended periods. I feel better if I have at least a pair of knickers on. While we were sailing I frequently sunbathed naked and this helped me to feel more confident being naked. When you live in a tropical climate skin cancer is an issue so sunbathing has to be balanced with minimising sun damage. So I limited the amount of time I spent fully exposed.
When I am at home I will walk around in minimal clothing a lot of the time and am not entirely concerned about being nude in front of my children. Their boyfriends / girlfriends are a different matter though, so if there are extra guests in the house I am careful to cover up. As I get older I care less of what other people think about me and this is helping a great deal.
We are either going to fight or make out because I am getting some real mixed signals here. Dean Winchester – Season 9
“Rise and shine baby bro,” Jared winced as blinding light pierced through the curtains onto his face. He groaned as he tried to shield his eyes with his hand.
“Is it groundhog day or something,” He pulled the blankets up over his head.
“No dude. It is time to go and hunt some succubi!”
Jared struggled out of bed and pulled on a shirt. “What has happened?”
“Well I just heard on the scanner that the cops have found a body in a house on the outskirts of town. The chatter was a bit confused but it seems like the body has that dried out look that the other two you were talking about had.”
Jared frowned, “You said the scanner was a piece of junk!” His voice was incredulous.
“Well a guy’s gotta do something while you are having a lie in,” Jensen had that same manic look in his eyes that Jared had seen yesterday. Right before they had gone to the morgue and he had encountered that mysterious dark haired woman. Something about her seemed odd to Jared. Something about those perfect red lips and the eyes like dark pools. “Now get your coat on and lets GO.” Jensen held the door open as he tossed the car keys up and down impatiently.
The brothers parked the Impala on the kerb in front of the suburban house. Two police cars were parked out the front and there was tape across the front door.
“Who lives here?” Jensen asked as they stepped out of the car.
Jared frowned, “You were the one snooping on the scanner,” he grumbled.
“Whoah, keep your pants on bro,” Jensen held up his hands. “Anyone would think that you didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Jared knew arguing was futile. He simply shrugged, “I don’t know but I guess we will find out soon enough.
As the two brothers sat watching the activity a group of local police exited the house, got in the cars and left.
“That’s our cue bro,” Jensen opened the car door and leapt into action. Jared was left to follow his manic brother up the driveway.
Inside the house everything seemed incredibly normal, in a sad suburban single dad kind of way. Pizza boxes in front of the television, photos of kids stuck on the wall with blue tac, dishes piled in the sink. There was definitely no woman in this man’s life.
“This is depressing man,” Jensen kicked at some discarded clothing on the floor. “This guy’s life really sucked ass.”
In the corner beside the couch Jared bent down and picked up a small jar, “Check this out,” He held up his find. “He was either into some kinky shit or his life wasn’t as sad as we think.”
Jensen walked over and took the jar from his brother’s hand. “Cherry lip gloss,” he mused. Something nagged at the back of his mind.
“I believe that would be mine,” the voice startled both of them. Inexplicably the room was filled with the scent of fake cherry.
Jensen turned to look straight into those eyes. He felt his cock stir at the sight of her. Even in this sad room, in front of his brother he wanted her. She took a step forward and looked straight into Jensen’s eyes. His hard on throbbed almost painfully in his pants. For what seemed like an eternity her eyes bored into his. He could feel her breath on his lips. Her eyelids drooped and she pulled herself away. The spell was broken and Jensen came back to his senses. With an awkward cough he turned his body so that Jared couldn’t see his hard on.
Jared frowned in confusion, “So how do you know this guy?”
“He was my boss,” the girl took the jar of lip gloss from Jensen, opened it and began applying the scented liquid.
Jared seemed unaffected by her presence while Jensen was still struggling to control his cock. “Why were you in his house then?”
She laughed at Jared’s naivety, “Why do you think? He may have been an ass but he still liked to fuck. “
Jensen remembered the first night he had seen her in the drive through of the burger joint. The middle aged man talking to her. He wondered if it was the same guy. Of course the police had taken the body so he couldn’t confirm.
“So what are you guys doing here?” She interrupted his musing.
“Oh just checking out a few things for a friend.” Jared jumped in before Jenson could even form a thought. “Actually I think we may have seen almost everything we need to.” His looked the woman straight in the eye. “What did you say your name was?”
The woman looked from Jensen to Jared. Her demeanour hardened and her eyes glittered. Jensen felt confused. Why was Jared being so aggressive? Something in the far reaches of his mind made him feel uneasy. For the first time since he met her Jensen felt something other than lust. Suddenly he remembered that he didn’t know her name either. Somehow they had skipped over that part.
“I didn’t,” the woman’s voice was like ice. Jensen felt a chill and an overwhelming need to placate her. The nagging, warning part of his senses faded away replaced by this desire to be pleasing for this woman. He stepped forward and touched her face. Their eyes met and he felt the same attraction as before. The scent of her lips and the deep pools of her eyes drew him in. The same pleasure began building in the base of his cock. She stepped closer, until he could feel her breath on his lips. Her hand reached down to cup his throbbing cock. Jensen felt his knees weaken and a wave of pleasure swept over him.
“Names don’t matter,” she murmured. Her hand slid up to release Jensen’s belt buckle.
“So I want a complete breakdown on my desk by Monday everyone.” James concluded the meeting. His team members filed out as he collected his files into a neat pile. As he stood up to leave his eyes met the youngest member of his team, Matt, sitting at the end of the boardroom table. Suddenly the room felt warm, James’ heart beat a little faster and he felt a tightening in his groin. Last Friday night James had seen Matt in a bar he frequented in the Valley. Sitting at the end of the bar, James had watched another young man wrap his arms around Matt and slide his hands down into his pants. The two of them began making out. Young, fit bodies pressing together, oblivious to everyone around them, before they left for a more private venue. James had gone home to his own fantasies as he pleasured himself.
Right now ,in the boardroom, with Matt’s eyes boring into him he wondered if he had been wrong. Maybe Matt had seen him watching that night. It was unnerving and arousing at the same time. Without speaking Matt stood up looking James straight in the eye. From a detached part of his mind James noted that Matt was slightly shorter than him. Something he always liked, it was a power thing. Even so it felt as though Matt was in control of the situation. The two men stood facing each other, James noticed Matt’s full lips framing a slight smirk. Suddenly he had an uncontrollable desire to feel them sliding down over his rock hard cock. The sexual tension in the room was almost unbearable. James decided to get straight to the point.
“Let’s get a drink in my office,” He turned and led the way out of the room.
In his office he closed the door softly behind Matt who moved over to the couch in the corner of the room.
“Scotch?” he held up the bottle.
Matt nodded his assent. As James turned his back to pour drinks he heard the sigh of a tie being removed. When he turned back with two drinks in hand Matt stood before him with his shirt unbuttoned and his hand resting on his belt buckle. In response to the questioning look in Matt’s eye James nodded as he took a step towards the couch to place the glasses on the side table. A belt buckle jingled and there was the soft sound of clothing hitting the floor as James unbuttoned his own shirt.
He turned to face Matt who was standing in front of the couch in his briefs. Still without speaking Matt stepped forward and pushed James down onto the couch. James lay back as Matt unbuckled his pants. With a look of greed Matt reached into the loosened suit pants and eased out James’ throbbing cock.
“Yummy,” he whispered as he reached forward and licked the bead of pre-cum that had formed at the tip. He didn’t waste any more time before he plunged his mouth down over the hard length. James groaned in pleasure. The feel of a man sucking his cock was so different from a woman. And someone so young and vital made it even more exciting. Matt moved his head up and down, taking in James’ entire length with each stroke, engulfing him in desire.
As he sucked Matt pressed his hard young body against James’ leg including his own hard throbbing cock. Somewhere in a remote part of his mind James made plans to return the favour to Matt. But right now he was drawn back into the pleasure of this moment. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back for very long. He wanted the hot hard surge of the orgasm that Matt was sucking out of him. Pressure mounted at the base of James’ cock as Matt slid his fingers around to stroke James’ arse.
James bucked his hips in pleasure as Matt’s finger stroked around the tight sensitive hole behind James’ balls. Matt let James’ cock slide from his mouth for a moment to wet his finger before he slid it back into James’ ass. Stroking him for a moment Matt watched James’ face as he eased his finger inside him.
“You dirty fucker,” Matt whispered as he slid his finger into James’ arse.
He leaned down and slid his mouth down over James’ cock. The dual sensation of the mouth around his cock and the finger in his arse exploded in James’ mind. His breath was coming in sort gasps, and his hand gripped the back of Matt’s head pushing his face further down on his cock. He knew he was close now but he held back a little wanting to prolong the moment a little.
Matt’s finger twisted a little inside him sending pleasure shooting through his body. Pushing his pelvis against Matt’s face James shot a jet of hot cum into his mouth with a loud groan. Matt held him deep in his throat as the second pulse shot out of him. For long moments the two men were pressed together before James slumped back against the couch panting with the intensity of the encounter.
Rocking back on his heels Matt released James’ rapidly softening cock from his mouth and stood up. The bulge in his briefs left no doubts about how aroused he was. As the young man reached forward to take his drink James reached out to caress the hard cock through the black fabric.
1. Tell us 7 things making you happy right now, and why they make you happy.
Chocolate, although it has been a while since I had chocolate in my fridge. I need to rectify that.
Lying in the sun naked, as pictured.
Being on the water. Not swimming or doing anything in particular. Just being out there
A good cup of tea in peace and quiet. It soothes my mind
Hanging out with my lorikeet. He is completely honest about what he things, if sometimes noisy and irritating but he loves me.
When I read something I have written and it is good. I feel accomplished
When someone tells me something I have written is good I feel like I am not lying to myself.
2. Tell us 5 things you learned last week.
I learned a way to move individual cells around in Excel. I know this is not something that would rock most people’s world but it certainly rocked mine!
I have learned a bunch of kid’s names. Two new classes will do that for you.
I learned some new ways to stretch which is helpful because I WILL get into a full split very soon.
I have a skin cancer on my forehead. That also wasn’t fun but it is gone now.
Mr Jones is interested in being the bottom for some impact play. Something I kind of knew but had to be reminded about.
3. Tell us 3 things that stand out for you in 2021.
Look, most regular readers here will know that I went on a 23 week voyage with Mr Jones along the Queensland coast. It was life changing. I can’t really add to that. So I am not going to really try and put another two things with that list. Instead I will leave you with a couple of images from the trip.
Bonus: What is the #1 thing you cannot do without in life?
Sunsets. No two are ever the same and they are always perfect.
Welcome to another instalment from the vault of stuff I wrote once. I really should compile some of it into a book.
As Susan touched the little box in her pocket the corners of the box stabbed into her thigh reminding her of what she had come here to do. As she lifted her coffee to her lips she felt a flutter of butterflies in her stomach and a slight quiver in her wrist. She was forced to put her cup down for a moment. Then she saw him. It is strange how you can always recognise people even though you have never really seen them before. She recognised some of his features from his photograph, the way his hair fell down over his face and the fullness of his lips. At the same time he looked nothing like his photo and she felt as if she had never spoken to him before. For a fleeting moment panic flashed through her, what was she doing here? What was she thinking agreeing to this? The time she had spent chatting with this man seemed irrelevant and she felt like an awkward schoolgirl on her first date.
“Susan?” he stopped beside her table looking down at her enquiringly.
She half stood to greet him, then the weight between her legs reminded her again of what she had come to do. Her eyes slid to the side noting where he was sitting on the other side of the coffee shop reading the paper, his face hidden from her. Despite this it felt as if his eyes were boring a hole through the paper, watching her every move.
“Hello Grant,” she smiled warmly looking him straight in the eye.
“It is nice to meet you at last,” he held her hand longer than normally, releasing it only as they sat. “I have to say that you are as lovely as I fantasised.”
A throb went through her groin at his choice of words. She remembered his text from last night.
This is what fantasising about you has done to me. Accompanied by a picture of his cock hard and gripped in the hand that now rested on the table. A new surge of wetness collected on her already damp panties.
Grant signalled to the waitress and ordered a coffee. “Did you want anything to go with your coffee?” he asked her.
“No thank you.” Susan answered. She could feel the eyes boring into her from across the room. It felt as if all of the eyes in the room were watching her right then. It was as if everyone knew what she was holding between her thighs and what she planned to do that day. For a moment she was overwhelmed by the thought of a thousand pairs of eyes looking at her watching her wantonness.
She took a deep breath and reached into her pocket to retrieve the box. Without speaking she placed it on the table between them. It sat there, unmarked and giving no clue of the contents and the purpose of them before Grant reached forward and took it in his hands. In her mind Susan heard a collective gasp from the thousand people in the room watching her. She pressed her thighs together under the table, trying to supress the throbbing that had erupted in her clit. It felt as if she had a tiny penis growing in her panties.
The waitress brought Grant’s coffee and he nodded thanks as he held the box under the table to inspect the contents. Across the room the man had put the paper down and was watching her intently.
The buzz jolted through her and made her jump. Her heart was thundering as she looked across at him. His brown eyes were twinkling as he took a sip of coffee. “Sorry just getting used to the controls,” he apologised.
Susan clasped her hands in her lap and struggled to control her breathing as the buzz started again, this time, more slowly. Heat spread through her belly. Her sensitive clit grew even larger. The muscles of her pussy clamped around the vibrations as they increased sending warm pleasure through her.
Then they stopped. She almost wimpered in disappointment as everything in her panties went still. She felt as if she was sitting in a pool of her own juices but she didn’t care. All she wanted was more buzzing. Across the table Gant sipped his coffee.
“So what is it that you are studying?” he asked as if they were two friends catching up.
“Business,” Susan’s voice didn’t sound normal to her.
“Sounds interesting,” Grant took another sip of his coffee and another buzz shot through Susan’s cunt. This time he didn’t ease her into it. He let her have the full force of throbbing vibrations for a second before taking it away again. “You must be good at keeping things in order then.”
Susan took another breath to steady herself. Her cunt ached. She wanted more than buzzing now. The image of Grant’s cock was almost all she could think about. She wanted to be filled with him. “Yes,” she forced herself to sound normal.
“You like things to be neat and orderly and how you expected then?” He looked at her intently as the buzzing started again. This time it was faint, the wetness of her cunt made it almost impossible to feel. She clamped her pussy hard around her vibe taking comfort from the feeling of the hard plastic inside her. Her phone pinged on the table beside her. She picked it up and checked her message. Underneath an image of a familiar cock was the following message,
I am hard and I am waiting to watch you.
“Everything OK?” Grant asked as she looked up.
“Definitely,” she tipped the last of her coffee into her mouth. There was more buzzing in her cunt. The ache to be filled by a cock was almost unbearable now. She looked across the table into his eyes, challenging him.
“So,” she let the word hang between them.
Grant took up the challenge. He too drained his coffee.
“Lead the way,” He stood and reached his hand out to her. She smiled inwardly as she noted the bulge in his pants.
The made their way purposefully to the carpark. Susan led the way to the far corner where she had parked. Looking him in the eye she pulled up the hem of her dress up and slid her panties down to her ankles. Looking over his shoulder she could see him leaning casually on the bonnet of a car parked a couple of rows away. She opened her knees and slid the vibe out of her cunt. As she did so she grazed her clit and gasped at the shock.
Grant watched as she held the vibe to her own lips and licked her juice from it before she turned and bent over the car with her legs spread as wide as her panties would allow. She waited resting her hot face against the cool metal of the car. There was a quiet jingle of a buckle and the sound of a zipper before she felt her dress being lifted. His cock slid into her slowly filling her just the way she had hoped. His breath was hot in her ear,
It was a foolish decision made without any adult consideration. I knew it wasn’t compliant but like a teenager I didn’t stop to consider the consequences. Things went well for a couple of weeks but of course it was only a matter of time. And then I was in Twitter jail again. Despite all of my ranting and frustration at communicating with Bots and their automated system they were the ones with the power. And I was a small person who didn’t matter to them.
And so my account is suspended. Which is frustrating. Frustrating because their response to my question; “Does that mean I can’t re-open this account ever?” Was “your account has been suspended and will not be reactivated?” They haven’t deleted the account. I can’t delete the account so it sits there in suspended animation with the offending profile image on display. Maybe one day it will come back to life. In the meantime I am left to take stock.
I regret being impulsive because it has affected traffic to my blog. Something I didn’t stop to consider properly. I have lost contact with a few people who I kind of wish I didn’t, also something I didn’t stop to consider properly. My perception of social media has changed a little during this process. I used to think it was a piece of fluff that we used to fill our time. And it is. But it is also something else. A tool for connecting to people. It would be easy to think that one platform can be replaced by another but that is not so. They are all different. They don’t serve the same purpose. And if the community you are connected to all use a particular platform you are kind of forced to use it too.
And so here I sit. Taking stock of what I am doing with the blog, with my writing. I have always said that I only blogged for my own purposes and wouldn’t be driven by traffic. That is still true, up to a point, but it feels pointless putting words out into thin air. There has to be some kind of function to my writing. I need to feel that there is someone getting pleasure from my words. Ultimately it would be amazing if people liked it enough to give me money for my words but finding those people and providing words worth money is something I am not sure I have the wherewithal to do.
As a step towards finding paying customers I opened a Medium account. I haven’t posted there yet but as part of this ‘taking stock” process I am getting some pieces ready. I am not abandoning Corrupting Mrs Jones as I only really want to post fiction on Medium. So you will all still be subjected to my rambling thoughts. I started this year determined to keep up a sustained presence on Corrupting Mrs Jones. I have achieved that goal and for a while the traffic reflected that. Until my nipples got in the way. What it has shown me is that I am OK as a writer. I just need to be a bit more focussed. In the wash-up I regret being impulsive but I think it has given me the nudge I needed. As they say, onwards and upwards.
Jensen’s story continues. Unexpectedly he encounters the mystery woman as he goes about his business with his brother. For the first part of the story click here
Succubi, hells whores. They lure men into fits of ecstasy and then kill them by sucking out their life force. So the legend goes. – Journal of John Winchester.
“So it looks as though we may have a case,” Jared looked up at Jensen as he staggered through the door.
“That’s good bro,” Jensen stumbled over to collapse on the bed. “It’s gonna have to wait until the morning though, I am beat.”
“What happened to you? Jared put down the newspaper he was reading.
“Nothing man, Jensen’s voice was already thick with sleep. “Just need some sleep.” Within moments he was snoring softly, completely unconscious.
Jared shrugged and continued reading. His brother’s erratic behaviour was just a part of their crazy life. He continued to read articles and use the information to cross reference with his father’s journal. The hotel room was silent except for the sound of Jensen’s snores and the scratching of Jared’s pencil. Sometime around midnight even coffee wasn’t enough and Jared succumbed to sleep.
“Rise and shine buddy boy!”
Jared struggled to open his eyes. His brother waved a breakfast burrito under his nose. “Time to go hunt evil things!”
With a heavy sigh Jared struggled out of bed. “You are chipper this morning. What has gotten in to you?”
“Just high on life bro,” Jared slammed back a coffee and devoured half of his burrito. “What were you saying about a case?”
Jared frowned at his brother as he shrugged on his jeans and a shirt, “So you were listening,”
Jensen shrugged, “Of course man! Why would I not listen to you, the font of all knowledge on things evil,”
“Because you don’t usually,” Jared was wary of the new bouncy Jensen. Something was not right.
“Well today is a new day and you, baby bro, have been under appreciated. So hit me with the deets.”
Jared rummaged through the newspapers and notes he had spent half the night scribbling. “Well there have been reports in the local area of men disappearing. Over the last five or so years there have been three cases. The first was a man in his thirties, lived alone, found by his neighbour in his bed, naked. His appearance was described as desiccated even though he could not have been dead more than three days.”
Jensen nodded as he shovelled the remainder of his breakfast into his mouth and took a swig of coffee. He eyed Jared’s breakfast as yet untouched, “You gonna eat that?”
Jared frowned at the interruption, “No, go ahead,” He continued, “The second case was a younger man, twenty five, last seen leaving a bar with a young woman. His body was found in his car two days later, same desiccated appearance. Third case was a man in his forties, reported missing by his wife after he didn’t return from a visit to the local burger joint. Body has not been located.”
“Right then.” Jensen’s mouth was full of burrito. “What is your conclusion then, Baby Bro?”
“Well it is not a lot to go on but I am leaning towards a succubi.” Jared took a sip of his coffee.
“Bit of a stretch,” Jensen swallowed the last of the burrito. “Let’s go make the acquaintance of the local morgue people.” Jensen shrugged into his jacket followed by a more cautious Jared.
“Sure,” he was used to following his brother’s lead with some things but today he seemed even looser than ever. He couldn’t shake the feeling that this was not going to end well.
As the Impala drew up outside the morgue Jensen noticed the young woman walking along the street. Same dark hair falling down her back and same bright red lips that parted in that slow smile when she saw the car. There was something about a woman who appreciated a classic car.
“You go in and ask questions Bro,” he spoke to Jared without taking his eyes off the young woman.
“Sure,” Jared replied gathering his notepad and fake ID. He glanced in the direction of the young woman. “She doesn’t look like your regular type. Aren’t you more into blondes?”
“Variety is the spice of life Jared!” Jensen grinned a little like a wolf about to eat his dinner. Jared felt a brief moment of sympathy for the woman, but as she walked closer he wondered if his brother had met his match.
“Good morning,” the woman greeted Jensen as he stepped out of the car, “Did you sleep well?” She stood close enough that Jensen could smell her fresh perfume and the cherry flavoured lip gloss.
“Like a baby,” Jensen stretched in the morning sunshine. “I haven’t slept that well in years.”
The woman moved closer and placed her hand on Jensen’s chest, her face was close to his and Jensen felt himself responding to her. Their eyes met and he felt as if he could dive into their deep brown depths. Her hand slid lower until it was resting on the front of his jeans. Despite himself Jensen could feel his cock hardening and his breath coming harder and faster. The woman’s breasts were pressed against his chest and her mouth was millimetres from his. He could smell her cherry lip gloss and feel the warmth of her breath on his face. Her eyes were like dark pools, enticing him to dive in.
Before he realised it her hand was inside his pants. Her fingers wrapped around his cock, stroking slowly. Waves of pleasure washed over him. He felt his legs buckling underneath him as she continued to stroke. Her eyelids drooped and a look of pure satisfaction came over her face as she leaned against him. The same as before he felt his climax building almost against his will, as if she were pulling it out of him. Weakly he fought it, trying to make the moment last but it was futile. He rode the wave of his orgasm, higher than he ever remembered. Jizz pulsed over her willing hand as he groaned in pleasure. She whimpered and her body undulated against his, as if she were feeling his orgasm herself. For a long moment they both stood slumped against his car before she roused herself and withdrew her hand from his pants. Unashamed she licked his jizz from her hand. Her pink tongue cleaning her hand like a cat.
Jensen was unable to move. Somehow he stayed upright as she finished eating his semen before she straightened her hair and leaned over to use the window of the car as a mirror to apply her lip gloss. The scent of cherry filled the air as she stood up.
“Delicious.” She grinned before turning to walk away.
Jensen watched her go still unable to move from his position slumped against the car. His body felt heavy and exhausted. He grinned at the memory of how good her hand felt wrapped around his cock. Just as Jared appeared at the doorway of the morgue Jensen was able to stagger to the front door of the car and slide into the driver’s seat.
“What happened to you?” Jared frowned in concern at the sight of his brother slumped in the seat.
With a massive effort Jensen sat upright and leaned forward to start the car,
“Nothing,” The high on life feeling of earlier in the day had left him completely. Somehow he turned the steering wheel and the car moved out of the parking lot. Later when the reached the hotel, Jensen staggered through the door and collapsed on the bed. He had no recollection of the drive. It was as if the car had driven by itself.
As many of you will know Mr Jones and myself have spent the last six months sailing a yacht up and down the Queensland coast. While I was alway I was asked by a friend to make a video explaining what I thought it meant to be alive as part of a project she was working on to celebrate the anniversary of a person very close to her. I was unsure of what to do but as I was sitting on the outer Barrier Reef watching the sunrise I made a completely off the cuff video. Sitting on a yacht rocking in the ocean after a bad night’s sleep I had a realisation that being alive was not all about joy and happiness. The anxiety and fear that made up a lot of my voyage was part of being alive. Here I was living in a way that many people never get the chance to. My environment was the ocean, the creatures that live in and on it. Everything was pure and a lot of the issues that take up so much of our emotional energy every day were background noise.
As my journey came to an end I was asked by many people “How are you going to cope with the real world?” I began to reject the idea that where they were was the real world. I became even more connected to sunrises and sunsets and habitually took the time to really see what I was surrounded by. Most people cannot comprehend this lifestyle. Many people imagined that I was experiencing what they experience on their two week resort vacation over an extended period of time. The reality, my reality, was very different. There was sunset drinks most days. They didn’t come with a fancy umbrella but rather in an ordinary insulated cup. We ate but it was food similar to every day home made food with no frills. In fact it was one of the best diets I have ever encountered. I lost 10 kilos while still having some chocolate and at least one drink every day. I never felt as if I was missing out.
There were a lot of times, especially in the beginning where I was anxious. Being away from the things that make up your every day life is like standing naked in front of a crowd. All of the creature comforts of every day life were stripped away and I was exposed in front of the ocean and nature. The ocean wasn’t always calm and stunning shades of blue. Sometimes it was grey and confused. The wind wasn’t always a gentle breeze. Sometimes it was strong and came thundering down valleys in gusts that pushed us around on our anchor. Sometimes we spent nights awake and fretting about being pushed onto a reef or some rocks. It was in these moments that, despite my fear, I became alive. Not happy and drugged with creature comforts and stimulation of the internet but living and feeling the real world.
I was introduced to the pop culture reference to “blue pill thinking” by Mike at Marriage Sex and More. Mike uses this term to refer to many male ideas about accepting a bad marriage as the way of the world and using this acceptance as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for their situation and taking steps to change it but the wider idea of the ‘blue pill’ is about becoming immersed in these creature comforts and accepting the chains of employment and adult responsibilities of mortgages and acquiring stuff as a necessary part of life. Rejecting this thinking is part of the cruising life. To make this voyage I took unpaid leave from my job. I risked going back to work after everyone had been there without me for six months. We risked missing moments with our family but we were free. There was no employer or bank dictating where we went or what we did. All of the consequences of our choices were on us and we were free. Living in the red pill world.
In the past Mr Jones and I took three months to take our children in a caravan to some remote and very iconic parts of Australia. The journey required similar risks. Leaving our house and business in the hands of others, leaving jobs and living in a no frills way. We met many other families doing the same thing. What we all had in common was choices that we made that involved risk and going against the grain. After our return many of our friends were amazed by our journey and several of them expressed the desire to take on a similar journey “when the time is right”
For people like this often the time is never right. There is never a perfect time to undertake a journey. That is part of rejecting the blue pill. There are always people to leave behind, always a job or some financial commitment to fulfil. There is always the feeling that something that matters will be somehow incomplete or not right. Sure I could argue that leaving my job for six months left me exposed to someone undermining me. Leaving my eighteen year old daughter to fend for herself was irresponsible parenting. But these things are not insurmountable. The universe works how it works and when I am on my death bed the thing I will hold in my heart will be sunsets and connection to country, not a million mundane moments of getting ready for work and making dinner.
So what is real? That routine stuff, driving to work, dealing with traffic, paying bills. That is just white noise. Reality is the spinning of the Earth and watching the sun go down with a drink in your hand.