I have been slowly working my way through a list of thirty dirty questions that I found on the blog of Brigit Delaney. Along the way I have been joined by Marie Rebelle at Rebel’s Notes and Mike from Marriage, Sex and More. If you want to catch up on other questions you can find the links on my Thirty Dirty Questions page.
What is your favourite way to be seduced?
While I was travelling I read the book “The Game” written by Neil Strauss. The book tells of his time spent first as a trainee and then as a guru of a secret society of self titled “Pick Up Artists” These were men who were typically shunned by girls as adolescents and grew up to be the awkward nerdy types who dreamed of having sex with beautiful women but always sat in the corner of the party feeling rejected and angry at the world.
The book describes the multitude of techniques and routines that these men use to play on the insecurities of women with the end game of scoring a phone number and ultimately sex from unsuspecting women at clubs and parties in Hollywood. Their “game” was all about illusion and using mind tricks to snare unsuspecting victims. None of the connections these men made in this way were based on true human connection. Reading the book was like watching a car crash. You know you don’t really want to see what is happening but you can’t stop looking. It made me feel sick, angry, sad and a lot of negative thoughts about the push pull between the sexes.
Safe to say my favourite way to be seduced is NOT by cheesy pick up lines or even charming conversation. In all honesty I really can’t do mind games of any sort. I frequently tell people that I suck at social cues. By that, I mean any kind of subtle communication is confusing to me. When people say something ambiguous and expect me to pick up on what you REALLY mean never works. If you want sex say so. If you want me to suck your dick, say so. Just asking won’t guarantee a yes but at least we both know where we stand.
The same applies with internet dating. Often when exchanging messages I don’t know what to say. I know I am witty and interesting when I write here but that is because I have time to edit and think about what I have written. Often I write a piece and then put it aside for a few days, go back and edit. Conversation doesn’t work that way. You have to go with the first draft and hope it isn’t too offensive. I can’t explain what attracts me to some men (or women) and not others. It just is.
So how do I like to be seduced?
By someone who is clean, well presented, and can string two words together. Honest and clear about the agenda.
And if he smells good he is very much in with a chance.
Interestingly I had a meeting with a man recently. We had been chatting for a little while. I was in two minds about the situation. I have been holding back to create a new connection. In a perfect world RSM, Mr Jones and I would make a great trio but I am not convinced that it is going to turn out. The Silver Fox was interesting (and very sexy looking). Our conversations were interesting and when there was a lull in my life I took the chance to meet with him.
When I saw him in the flesh for the first time I was not dissapointed. He was sexy as fuck. There was no confusion. He smelled amazing and there was no confusion about the agenda.
The agenda, for the record, is to meet again.