Thirty Dirty Questions – Question 17

I have been slowly working my way through a list of thirty dirty questions that I found on the blog of Brigit Delaney. Along the way I have been joined by Marie Rebelle at Rebel’s Notes and Mike from Marriage, Sex and More. If you want to catch up on other questions you can find the links on my Thirty Dirty Questions page.

What is your favourite way to be seduced?

Photo by Antonio Friedemann on Unsplash

While I was travelling I read the book “The Game” written by Neil Strauss. The book tells of his time spent first as a trainee and then as a guru of a secret society of self titled “Pick Up Artists” These were men who were typically shunned by girls as adolescents and grew up to be the awkward nerdy types who dreamed of having sex with beautiful women but always sat in the corner of the party feeling rejected and angry at the world. 

The book describes the multitude of techniques and routines that these men use to play on the insecurities of women with the end game of scoring a phone number and ultimately sex from unsuspecting women at clubs and parties in Hollywood. Their “game” was all about illusion and using mind tricks to snare unsuspecting victims. None of the connections these men made in this way were based on true human connection. Reading the book was like watching a car crash. You know you don’t really want to see what is happening but you can’t stop looking. It made me feel sick, angry, sad and a lot of negative thoughts about the push pull between the sexes. 

Safe to say my favourite way to be seduced is NOT by cheesy pick up lines or even charming conversation. In all honesty I really can’t do mind games of any sort. I frequently tell people that I suck at social cues. By that, I mean any kind of subtle communication is confusing to me. When people say something ambiguous and expect me to pick up on what you REALLY mean never works. If you want sex say so. If you want me to suck your dick, say so. Just asking won’t guarantee a yes but at least we both know where we stand. 

The same applies with internet dating. Often when exchanging messages I don’t know what to say. I know I am witty and interesting when I write here but that is because I have time to edit and think about what I have written. Often I write a piece and then put it aside for a few days, go back and edit. Conversation doesn’t work that way. You have to go with the first draft and hope it isn’t too offensive. I can’t explain what attracts me to some men (or women) and not others. It just is. 

So how do I like to be seduced?

By someone who is clean, well presented, and can string two words together. Honest and clear about the agenda. 

And if he smells good he is very much in with a chance. 

Interestingly I had a meeting with a man recently. We had been chatting for a little while. I was in two minds about the situation. I have been holding back to create a new connection. In a perfect world RSM, Mr Jones and I would make a great trio but I am not convinced that it is going to turn out. The Silver Fox was interesting (and very sexy looking). Our conversations were interesting and when there was a lull in my life I took the chance to meet with him. 

When I saw him in the flesh for the first time I was not dissapointed. He was sexy as fuck. There was no confusion. He smelled amazing and there was no confusion about the agenda. 

The agenda, for the record, is to meet again. 

8 thoughts on “Thirty Dirty Questions – Question 17

  1. Seduction is an “art” and one that some guys learn and master… or they just suck at it. It’s a “game” and one that women are very much aware of and, as such, makes seducing them rather difficult because they have an “anti-seduction” game of their own – if you really want this, dude, you’re gonna have to work hard to get it.

    I’ve read a few “How to Seduce Women” books and, whew, some of them are patently ridiculous while a rare few of them is pretty much spot-on when it comes to finding a woman’s weak points and exploiting them and, yes, a lot of this is playing mind games.

    I agree with Marie: I have my own “seduction game” but I would rather be right up front with a woman and tell her what I want from her and why I want it and with the understanding that after I speak my piece, she’s either going to say yes or she isn’t. I don’t know about other guys but sometimes the best way to seduce a woman is to be honest with her about your intentions towards her…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I read The Game when I was trying to get my act together. I remember thinking at the end I was glad I never had to do the dating scene… The down side is I never got to do the dating scene. Which was why I was reading it. There was a lot of bad advice in there, but like most books and sources, there were some gems as well. Though you had to dig to find them.

    My problem was I “seduced” my wife in high school and let’s be honest, it doesn’t take much to seduce a high school girl. A 67 Mustang that I worked on myself, a job and steady income, I loved to workout out and I have to give the awesome 80’s mullet it’s due.

    Hell, today the fact that a man actually work elevates his status above many others. The bar seems so much lower these days. The average early to mid 80’s high school kid had a lot more game than many 30yo men today.

    However, after 10 years and three kids the Mustang and mullet were gone. I was left with simp rom coms as a guide. She hated it, I was miserable.

    I’ll say this, the best advice I can give a man (or woman) is to state what you want. Once I learned this I have found there is not much you will not get if you have your shit together.

    While the idea of what could have been had I not married out of high school is always in the back of my mind, the things I see my peers going through with dating makes me thankful I chose the route I did.

    If, God forbid, I ended up dating again, I know exactly what I am looking for and would not waste time with someone not on the same page. At my age, I don’t have time for that!

    I need to catch up on these 30 Dirty posts…

    As a side note, I miss my Mustang and my mullet.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s