TMI Tuesday- Macaroons not Macarons

Apparently it is macaroon day. Which I am all in favour of. Who doesn’t like a bit of creamy coconut in their life?

1. Have you eaten a macaroon? Did you like it?

It has been a while but I do enjoy macaroons. There is something more satisfying about the texture and the creaminess of the coconut

2. Do you prefer a coconut macaroon or the original almond paste version?

I have never had the almond paste version but I am thinking about looking for a recipe now.

3. Have you made macaroons? Share your recipe if you’d like.

Not for a while. I don’t have a go-to recipe.

4. To jazz up a basic macaroon–egg whites, sugar, and coconut–which of the following will you add?
a. chocolate
b. fresh fruit or fruit preserved
c. candy
d. cinnamon

For a simple addition I would go with dipping in chocolate. However in Australia there is this thing called Jam Slice that takes the egg white / sugar / coconut combination to a whole new level. If you want to have the full experience see the recipe below

5. Would you rather eat a macaroon or macaron?  

For the cost and effort involved in making them I find macarons a bit of a let down.

Bonus: Jam Slice Recipie

  • 1 dessertspoon margarine or butter
  • 2 cups self-raising flour
  • 1/4 cup sugar
  • 2 eggs separated
  • plum jam for spreading (you can use any flavour of jam you like but I prefer ones that don’t have seeds in them)
  • 1/2 – 1 cup of desiccated coconut
  • 1 dessertspoon of sugar
  1. Grease and flour a tray about 20 – 30cm
  2. Rub margarine into flour until it resembles bread crumbs
  3. Add sugar, egg yolks and a little milk to make the dough
  4. Spread the dough over the tray and press into the corners
  5. Spread the jam thickly over the dough
  6. Beat the egg whites until soft peaks are forming.
  7. Mix in sugar and coconut and spread to cover the jam
  8. Bake in 180oC oven until the dough is cooked and the top is golden brown

I hope you enjoy this little gem of Australian morning tea goodness.

Unwind Part 1

The Morning Before

The shower was warm. Soft liquid comfort washing away sleep and waking up skin for the day ahead. Shampoo poured down over my body as I rinsed my hair clean. The morning was full of anticipation and maybe a little excitement. Somehow it seemed hard to be excited about anything right now. There had been too much of everything in these last few weeks. I felt as if I was a spring that had been coiled almost to breaking point. 

But this morning was different. A promise of release was in the air. As I stepped out of the shower the top of the tea chest looked at me from the corner of the room. Usually it was covered in stuff but today it was bare. The perfect place to recline and capture this moment and mood. 

Looking back at the images I was happy. I felt awake, sexual, sexy. With a smile I sent one to Captain Kirk. It wasn’t our normal thing. Or it hadn’t been until this point. But he was a man. What man doesn’t like a nude on his phone in the morning? It wasn’t until later I noticed the droplet of water under my breast. Somehow this seemed more sexy than anything else. I wonder if he noticed it as well? 

A Day of Wondering

The traffic gods were good to me that day. As I drove I received responses to my image from Caption Kirk. Sometimes I used Siri to send messages while I was driving but somehow the profanities I liked to type were hard to say out loud to myself and harder to hear repeated back from the sanitised voice of Siri. 

On arrival at work I had a moment of clarity. I was tense. Not in the immediate way of something looming in front of me but in the way of being wound up from weeks of events and busyness. Receiving dirty texts was a welcome distraction from the grind of every day life. 

I would love to lick you all over, nibble your neck. Suck on your nipples. Taste your pussy. Tease your asshole. 

And we had only agreed to meet for a drink. To see each other in person before deciding if we wanted to go further. It seemed like we were doing a dance. Going through the motions of a ritual that was prescribed by someone else. All the while our eyes were focussed on what we both wanted. 

The Dance

When you see someone for the first time it is always weird. Very few times have I met a man and thought, “You look better in person,” or at least, “you look like your photos.” More often I meet someone and feel some kind of magnetism. That subtle attraction that makes me want to dally in a dark corner and explore their mouth. That makes me slide my hand up their thigh to feel if they are as excited as me. 

This time I wasn’t sure. He wasn’t as tall as I had hoped. Despite his texts I didn’t get the feeling of attraction. We both were holding back. Waiting to see what the other offered. In some way unsure. I was used to men who were vocal and touchy. He was neither. But he was respectful. There was a glimmer. I sensed that he was holding back, careful not to be pushy. 

We drank our drink. All the while chatting about our experiences. Our rules. What was allowed and what wasn’t. How our respective partners felt about this meeting. Not for the first time I found myself reflecting on the transactional nature of this lifestyle. From an abstract point I could see our conversation sounding like; “I have A and B but I don’t do C…. I see you are offering P and Q do you want to get naked together?” By the end of our drink it seemed there was nothing left but to complete the transaction. 

Just a Peek

We had the opportunity on the weekend just gone to spend some time with a couple we have just met. The weather was amazing for the first time in a while and we took the opportunity to enjoy the sunshine with minimal clothing. The lady of the other couple is not as confident with being nude around other boats as myself and so she started out with just a little peek.

Boob Day
Sinful Sunday

TMI Tuesday – The Good The Bad and The Ugly

1. What made the best sex partner you’ve ever had so good?

At this point in my slut career (I just invented that term but I kind of like it) I am not able to identify the BEST sex partner I have ever had. A few spring to mind, The Traveller, Johnny, Pet, Mr Jones. There have been other events that have been stand outs but at 5.30am on Wednesday morning I can’t think of them.

2. What made the worst sex partner you’ve ever had so bad?

Again, at this point in my life, some things like this are a bit of a blur. One that sticks out at this moment is a man I met a couple of times. The first time we got hot and heavy in the back seat of my car. It was fast paced and sexy as fuck. Then we met, I thought, for a more leisurely exploration of each other.

It was very short lived and he didn’t apologise for being a fast finisher or even offer to make up for his shortcomings. Just kind of said “I told my wife I would be home soon” and left.

He didn’t get asked back.

3. Who was the most physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

Again, blurry stuff. One that did happen to pop in my head was not penetrative sex but sexual you can read about it here. Of late I have been reminiscing about Johnny. He was one sexy mother fucker.

4. How was it?

Well if you clicked the link you would know the Random Blow Job was like my own personal power trip. A very I told you so moment.

Sex with Johnny? Well it was fucking amazing. You can read about one encounter here, There were others. Too many to list.

5. Who was the least physically attractive person you ever had sex with?

I can’t really answer this one. There just isn’t a stand out. When I looked up my answers to these questions the first time they were posted I found this answer;

Before I met Jake I had a fuck buddy relationship with a guy who was quite over weight and very unattractive.

6. Why did you do it?

Continuing with the above thread this was my previous answer.

I am not really sure why I did it. I had just come out of a long term relationship. I think I was just cutting loose and experimenting a bit. This guy was brave enough to ask so I thought why not?

7. How was it?

My previous answer to this one was that at the time I thought it was pretty good but compared to these days it was very vanilla.

Bonus: Describe a bad sexual experience that you believe was your fault.

There is never an experience that is entirely the fault of one person. In my life most bad experiences have happened to me because I have not given clear direction or avoided saying no.

TMI Tuesday – Then and Now

This week’s TMI is a re-hash from quite a long time ago. Ten years!! As Hedone stated in this week’s post there are a few of us hangers on still posting there from time to time. My original blog and post are not open to the public but here are the questions.

OK just to make this a bit easier I have decided to choose a topic area otherwise this would be a whole lot of random stuff. Trolling through my tags I saw ‘swinging etiquette’ so here it is.

1. Tell us something with which you strongly agree or, greatly like.
The thing I love most about this lifestyle is the way it embraces the concept of “No is No”. There is the obvious safety part of this which is means I don’t have to do anything I am not comfortable with but there is also the part which takes a bit longer to get used to. That is the part where I don’t have to give a reason why I say no. I just have the right to say no and you don’t need any more information. This is a beautiful thing because it takes so much pressure out of refusing. The person refusing doesn’t have to justify themselves. The person being refused is saved the embarrasment of hearing a reason explained to them. 

2. Tell us something with which you somewhat agree or somewhat like.
I would have to say I am a massive fan of the way it is cool to walk around naked or semi naked at swinger’s clubs and parties. I never really cared much for shoes or took much time with grooming before I started this game as discussed in my post Turning into a High Maintenance Chick. These days one of the attractions of going to a club is seeing what everyone is wearing and then watching them take it off! 

3. Tell us something to which you are indifferent, or have no opinion.
Jake says I have an opinion on everything so this question is proving to be rather difficult for me. 
So the thing I don’t have an opinion on is swinging versus religion. I will risk it all and put it out there that I am a practicing Catholic. How do I reconcile my religion with my lifestyle? I don’t. Religion, like sexuality, is a very personal thing. No one can tell you what belief system is right or wrong or what works best for you. I am not a Catholic because I went shopping for a church and picked that one. I was born into it. I could be all purist and find a church that matches my lifestyle choices better and that has more sensible leaders (refer to last week’s comments regarding Cardinal Pell). But then I would lose a whole lot of friends and a major part of my support network. So I do the ostrich thing and just don’t think about it too much. 

4. Tell us something you somewhat dislike or disagree with.
I do have a bit of an issue with the expectation that women are going to be bisexual or at the very least interested in playing with other women. Generally I like women’s bodies and will happily explore another woman’s body while her husband is in the room. What I don’t like is women who play at being bisexual mainly for their partner’s viewing pleasure. While watching is often very much a part of group sex I do not like the idea of being part of a live porn show that is carefully staged.  

5. Tell us something with which you strongly disagree or greatly dislike. 
Something that I see at parties and clubs which really gets up my nose is the idea that if a group of people are playing in full view of others that it is OK to stand or sit so close to the action that you are almost touching it or that you do manage to ‘accidentally’ touch it. If you want to be part of the action then ask politely. If people choose to allow you to watch, this cannot be assumed to be an invitation to join in. 

Bonus: What is an opinion held by others that makes you angry?
People who don’t respect the no means no rule and persist with asking. Or those who don’t just take no for an answer and keep hassling for a reason or a justification. Seriously. If you have asked me to play and I say no do you really want me to explain, possibly in front of your partner or other people you don’t know well,that the reason is because I find you unattractive or that you smell bad, or that your laugh drives me screaming up the wall. 

So past Gemma was opinionated and used a lot more words than present Gemma it seems. I will have a go at the same questions without a theme this time

1. Tell us something with which you strongly agree, or greatly like.

Being fucked within an inch of my life is up there on the list of things I really like. The Fisherman commented that he felt I was holding back a little when we met recently. He was right. I am not sure why but not everyone gets Gemma full blast. You have to earn that shit.

2. Tell us something with which you somewhat agree, or somewhat like.

Hanging with people. For the most part. Until I have had enough.

3. Tell us something to which you are indifferent, or have no opinion.

Politics. We are currently at the pointy end of a federal election campaign. Personally the choices are bad and bad. Not sure how I will vote but I can’t wait until it is over.

4. Tell us something with which you somewhat dislike or disagree with.

Ants! I got up this morning to a kitchen bench covered in ants because I left a packet of dried apricots there! I know it is very wet outside and that makes it hard for them but I don’t like the flavour of ant in my food!

5. Tell us something with which you strongly disagree, or greatly dislike.

Racism and any prejudice really. I spend a fair bit of time re-educating young people about statements that they make that are so subtly racist they don’t realise how these ideas are fully ingrained into their identity. And that is the kind of racism that I really dislike. That subtle kind that often goes unnoticed but somehow makes people feel like they aren’t actually doing anything wrong

Bonus: What is an opinion held by others that makes you angry?

Something that really grinds my gears is people who think that because they are parents of students and went to school themselves they know better than teachers how teachers should do their job. Almost everyone I meet who isn’t a teacher will tell me that they couldn’t do my job. Then in the next breath they are telling me how their child’s teacher is useless. In my experience the most troublesome kids often have “Shitty Home Life” syndrome. If your kid is acting up have a look in the mirror. And consider the idea that if we get rid of all the crap teachers out there a lot of kids simply wouldn’t have a teacher.

Hanging with Vanillas

Photo by Dovile Ramoskaite on Unsplash

Last night I went to the pub for a meal with a friend. As we dressed and prepared to leave I commented to Mr Jones that we should really do this kind of thing more often. We almost never go out for a meal just because it seems like fun. While we do go to our local swinger’s club for drinks and socialising reasonably regularly we never go to a pub to catch up with friends or to see a band.

When I was younger I didn’t have the social circle or the budget to be at the pub or partying on every weekend. So I was never really in the habit of going clubbing with friends. Heading out to see a band was a big deal for me. When Mr Jones and I started swinging our night life changed a lot. But all of the partying and socialising we did had particular focus that usually saw us naked and fucking by the end of the evening. Going to a bar to pay the crazy prices they charge for drinks just for shits and giggles has never been part of our regular schedule.

So we arrived and had a great meal with our friend. It was good to catch up and hang out. After our meal we ventured into the main bar where karaoke was cranking up. It was interesting seeing how the other half party. The drinking was similar. The weird behaviour and conversations over loud music were the same as I remembered and the same as most parties.

The thing that struck me was feeling at odds with how flirting worked. A woman came up to me and full on ran her hands over my body. I was taken aback. I thought she was with a man. I was with my husband. Later in the bar another man was giving off flirty vibes but he seemed a little reluctant. Obviously the presence of husband was an issue. I kept to myself. Unsure of where lines were and what was acceptable and what was not.

In the wash-up I am unconvinced it is something I would like to do every week. Maybe every now and then. I would rather hang out around a camp fire with some like minded souls. Or even at a pinch head out for dinner and drinks with similar like minded souls. At the end of the day the only thing in this world that should be vanilla is ice cream.

Today’s Word – Wet

If you live on the Eastern Seaboard of Australia you will be like me and have just lived through one of the wettest summers in memory. Large parts of our part of the world were flooded multiple times in the last few months. Just when we thought it was over and winter was here with some dry weather it started again. Not as much rain this time but then again it wasn’t really necessary. The ground is still wet from last time.

Yesterday it kind of stopped. We could see blue sky albeit briefly and the heaviest rain was kind of a drizzle. When we ventured to the park to stretch our legs water was literally pouring out of the ground down pathways. A weird thing happened in our house. The floors were wet. Like it was raining inside, even though our roof was fully intact. The go to solution for everyone was to blame humidity but a bit of research and I discovered that the dew point yesterday was 21 degrees (centigrade) meaning that during the day the air was wet enough and cool enough for condensation to form. And tada, dew inside!!

Hopefully, your Monday is a little dryer than mine.

Shadows of the Past

Photo by Foad Roshan on Unsplash

In my last two Thirty Dirty Questions Posts I have talked a little about my repressed upbringing and the long term effects that had on how I felt about my sexuality, my body and myself in general. What I hadn’t realised until a few days ago was that something else that has been bothering me is also linked to this ingrained guilt.

For the last little while I have been extremely self conscious about my “number”. When I think about the number of people I have fucked it makes me feel a number of negative things. Things like shame and guilt. Whenever people ask me how long I have been in the lifestyle this shame surfaces and I am reluctant to share an accurate figure or divulge exactly how active I have been. Which many people in my world think is a little odd. Most other women like myself have a similar number. Those I meet who are just starting out are often admiring of the way I have embraced my sexuality and feel so comfortable talking about what I do and don’t want.

A few days ago I was chatting at a gathering with a woman who has a similar longevity in the swing scene as myself. I didn’t ask about her number. I doubt that she really counted and she is definitely not concerned about it. What I realised during the course of the conversation is that this weirdness about my number was linked to the whole Catholic guilt thing. Strange how things from your past that you thought you had left behind can reach their long fingers into your present and push your buttons all over again.

Now that I have had that realisation I am better equipped to deal with it I guess. Although like all things in your head dealing with it is not just a case of telling it to go away. At least it is a step in the right direction.

TMI Tuesday – Moving Forward

Not a super sexy TMI today.

1. If you could see two things change about your significant other what would they be?

On reflection I would change whatever it is in his facial structure that causes his sleep apnea. Those of you who live with this problem or sleep next to someone who has this problem will know that it can be debilitating. CPAP machines can only do so much.

2. What are two things you forgot to celebrate last year?

I spent six months of last year on the ocean. Whilst we were never that far from civilisation and we did see people most days that kind of living is very removed from what most people experience. Many things that seem important in the “normal” world lost significance. The main thing we observed most days was the sunset.

3. Are you and your significant other both good at apologizing?

I am going to say no. Me because I apologise for everything including things that are not even remotely my fault. Him because he usually feels that he has a good reason for whatever he does or says and that means it is OK

4. What would you not admit on a first date?

How many people I have had sex with. Many people around me don’t feel that it is an issue but I am self conscious about it.

5. Is rebound sex empowering?

I believe anything you do while you are looking over your shoulder at past events is not empowering at all. I really hate it when people continuously try to make their ex regret leaving them. Rebound sex can be a lot of different things and I think it can be healing as long as it isn’t about trying to prove anything to your ex.

Bonus: How do you mend a broken heart?

If your heart is really truly broken there is not a quick fix. Knowing that it will eventually get better and moving forward even if it is slowly will heal things in time. Cliche I know. But that is all your are going to get from this guru today.