Like all women who date in the twenty-first century I have been sent my share of dick pics. A very small proportion of them actually make the appendage look good. Some would argue that no dick is attractive. But I have always been a firm believer that it is all about the angle and the lighting. With this shot taken during our voyage last year I think I nailed it.
Mr Jones loves hoodies. I have a collection of them as a result. What it is exactly that he likes is kind of hard to figure. He likes the zipper at the front and they way they sit. He likes the hood to be up. I struggled for a long time to come to terms with this. Long hair and hoodies don’t always equal comfort.
The other thing he likes is fabrics that seem snuggly. As I struggle with winter weather – yes I know the rest of the world is experiencing heatwaves but here in Queensland we are COLD. I have somehow found myself embracing hood up hoodies. Something about creating warmth on the back of my neck. I really don’t know.
What I do know is that I am more than ready to experience some classic, warm, sunny, Queensland weather.
1. Would you rather be attracted to for your body or your mind?
Hmmm tricky one. As women we are strongly conditioned to be ornamental and so feeling beautiful is important. So often my attention is attracted by someone commenting on my boobs or bum or general physical appearance.
That said if that is a s far as the conversation goes or if it keeps focussing on that I will get bored and move on quickly.
2. What would be more embarrassing for you out in public–to be seen tripping or adjusting your “package”?
I fall over in public from time to time. The most recent was a stack in a busy pub last weekend. Not because I am clumsy but because there was something spilled on the polished concrete floor! So tripping is not that embarrassing because I am used to it.
I don’t have a package to adjust. But if I did then I think this would be a more awkward option.
3. If you are going to be famous what is it for?
I already am famous for having awesome boobs!!!
4. Would you rather urinate in port-a-potty or nearest bush?
Definitely a bush. Port – a – potties are for emergencies only.
5. What new beginning are you excited about?
I don’t have any specific new beginnings happening right now but I have recently had a shift in my friendship circle. A long term friend has decided she didn’t really need me in her life. Up until this point I was remaining loyal to her even though it was causing me to become isolated from other people who I had a lot of time for. Now that she is gone it is like I have lost a lot of dead wood. Maybe it is for the best.
Bonus: Burrito or Tamale
Mexican is not a really common street / takeaway food in Australia so Tamale isn’t something I have come across. I do like a burrito on occasion though.
The Unicorn and I are involved in this project together. Or rather she is trying to start a business and I somehow got tangled up in it. We have sewn together for a long time. She studied fashion at school. I just like sewing and have largely taught myself what I know. Now she is trying to start a label that encompasses active wear and alternative underwear. And here I am designing and making boxers and underwear for men that is not really meant to be hidden under pants. Our latest idea is neon boxers that glow under UV light.
Interestingly a group of my friends are planning to travel to the US later this year to be part of a Lifestyle Cruise. One of the themes for the evening is a “Glow Party”. Several of them are interested. My mind fills with thoughts of naked people dancing in a night club covered in bright glowing colours of mesh. As the night progresses the bodies become closer together or small groups of them break off from dancing and find an alcove to explore more. As things get more heated their glowing clothing is discarded and they climb naked into an oversized bed. Their luminescent clothing scattered about on the floor as their bodies grind together in time with the music.
Arses, asses, bums, backsides, bottoms. I love a nice bum. I love to enjoy them in so many ways. I love to look at them. When they are dressed in a pair of pants that fit just right. Jeans that hug your curves are perfect. Dress pants that seem to give you depth. Sometimes those dresses that cling and show how your buns seem to push and pull with each other when you walk. All of that. And yes a nice bum is a nice bum.
One of the things that keeps me at pole fit is looking at bums. Booty shorts on perky bums, on big round bums, on little cute bums. I love the way some booty shorts ride up and you get that curve that peeks out underneath. One girl at the moment wears actual g strings to class. Her ass is delicious. I want to worship it in every way. Including a bare handed spanking. The kind that makes your hand sting as much as their bum.
When I see a naked bum like that my hand itches to touch it. I want to feel the curve in my palm. I want to give it a gentle squeeze while I press my body against it. The Second Mate had a great bum. It was big and round and I loved to grab it as I walked past. The Traveller also has a substantial arse. I loved to watch the way it moved as he walked and carried out tasks while we were sailing. Mr Jones’ arse is different but delicious in it’s own way. I love to look at his while he is sleeping. Sometimes the position he lies in seems so provocative.
When I am fucking I love to reach around and cup a man’s arse. To feel the strength of the muscle as it pushes his cock into me. If there is an appropriately positioned mirror then all the better. I think that is one of the things I enjoy about The Traveller. Looking at that arse and knowing what it has been up to. Such a naughty delicious pleasure.
This post is also linked to Wicked Wednesday final bingo prompt. Click the icon below to see how everyone is doing with their bingo cards.
1. Confession booth. Confess two things right here on TMI Tuesday.
I love perving at dad bods. My twitter timeline is full of them. Current favourites @midwestdadbod, @preacherbear, @filoufilou
2. I am guilty of _____ .
Eating too much chocolate.
3. A big box is delivered to you. The address is correct but the name on the label is not you. Do you open the box?
Kind of tempting but I will admit I am too much of a goody two shoes to open it. I would probably try and return it to the sender.
4. How long have you held a grudge?
Until I don’t. Sometimes that can be a few hours, sometimes a lifetime. I recently had my first experience of having to block an ex-friend on social media. It didn’t sit well with me and while I would like to think I won’t be seeing her in my life again there is part of me that is not entirely convinced.
5. Does anyone have a grudge against you? Why?
See above! What the grudge exactly is for I am not entirely sure. A collection of things I think related to her twisted perception of the world.
Bonus: There is this one thing in my life I wish I had not done. I wish I had not _____ .
Let my mother take over my wedding. I was young, she had controlled my life mostly up to that point. I let her dictate most of the aspects of it and I regret it completely. So much so that I considered having a “do-over” on my 25th anniversary.
Bonus Bonus
After so much serious stuff there has to be boobs!
Good friends
Good wine
Good food
Good conversation
Some laughs
A sneaky kiss
A few strokes
Naked bodies twisted together
Arms, legs entwined
Heat, passion, release
That is what this lifestyle is all about.
There is something about sailing. The wind, the water, the pure freedom.
I am continuing to complete Marie’s bingo card of menopause symptoms. If any readers out there read the card below and identify with any of the categories it would be great if you could share your story.
Once upon a time sleep was something I was able to enjoy in great quantities and at will. Then I had a baby. Suddenly sleep was something I didn’t really have the luxury of enjoying at my convenience. Sleeping came at the convenience of a small human that required feeding and being attended to at all hours of the night. It was an interesting time. The baby’s room was in the front of our house. We lived in a less than affluent neighbourhood. I have memories of sitting in the rocker of my baby’s bedroom looking out the window at the comings and goings of the drug house across the street from us.
My second child was even more unsettled at night. Without exaggerating I don’t believe she slept through the night with some regularity until she was about five!. At the same time Mr Jones’ sleep apnea was becoming more and more of an issue. There is something about sitting by the bedside of a fretting child while your husband snores away in another room. Sometimes my mind is blown by the thought that he survived those days.
Somewhere in there I become more of a friend with 3am from a tossing and turning and not being able to sleep perspective. Sometimes I would wake at 3am look at the time and then go back to sleep. Other times I would wake, the poultry would complain about a predator and then sleep was a lost cause. Or I would wake, check the time and then spend the next couple of hours tossing and turning while my mind thought every thought in the universe only to fall asleep half an hour before the alarm. Those nights did not make for a very coherent Mrs Jones the next day.
Somewhere around my mid 30’s depression became more of a feature of my life. I was prescribed Pristiq by my GP. While this didn’t seem to change my sleeping habits I did notice that if I spent time staring at the ceiling thinking the thoughts in the middle of the night I felt hungover the next day. This was frustrating, to say the least. What is worse than having a hangover without the previous party? I changed medications a few years ago. My sleeping didn’t change significantly. I still slept through on a good night and had other nights that involved staring at the ceiling. What had changed was that I didn’t seem to need the sleep. If I missed an hour or so in the middle of the night I was still able to deal with the next day. In fact I began to wonder if I actually needed all that much sleep
Like many things associated with menopause I was completely ignorant that my sleep patterns could be associated with menopause. Like so many peri-menopause symptoms they could be attributed to other things, stress, brain chemical imbalance, anxiety, poor diet, too much screen time. So did the onset of peri-menopause contribute? Who really knows. I am not really sure and now I guess I will never know.
1. What movie dialogue do you know by heart?
Not a complete dialogue but the line from “A Few Good Men”
“You can’t handle the truth!”
2. Which show do you watch the most?
For a long time Dr Who was on high rotation in our house. Unlike Mr Jones and The Unicorn I didn’t spend a lot of time sitting and watching it but I was fairly familiar with the plots and culture of the show. One show that I did spend the best part of a year working through was Orange is the New Black. The rest of the family were not as into the show as I was but I still watched a few episodes when I got the chance. I loved it.
3. Do you get shy on camera?
It is weird. I don’t mind having my photo taken with my boobs out and when I am in control of the image being posted. Especially if it is of my body but not my face. I avoid being snapped at school as much as possible though.
4. How often do you take selfies?
a. Once a week
b. A few times a week
c. Every day
d. Never
Probably 1 – 2 times a week on average. Following the above rules of no face. And so Twitter is graced with #commutecleavage and #travellingboob.
5. Do you like being watched?
When I am having sex? Fuck Yes!!! The seeing people aroused buy watching me have sex is a major turn on.
Bonus: What’s the last thing you got in trouble for?
I am an adult we don’t really “get in trouble”. Last thing I did that made a lot of people shuffle their feet awkwardly because I SHOULD have been reprimanded? Not so subtly made a comment to the CEO of our company about the way he favours some campuses and their staff over others with his attention and support. For the record, while the other people in the room were aware of my intent, I think he was oblivious to my meaning.
Corrupting Mrs Jones 