Size 16 and Beyond

I have always thought I had problems with my weight. One of the legacies of my upbringing. My mother is obsessed with how much other people weigh. She isn’t overweight herself but not really because she eats a healthy diet or exercises regularly she is just one of those fortunate individuals who seems to be able keep on top of her weight.

It doesn’t stop her from judging others. One of the first things she observes about a curvy woman is her size. “Look at the size of her!” Is a statement she makes frequently. She has directed a similar sentiment at me most of my life. Ever since I can remember I have been subject to comments about how much I eat and the size of my body. Even as a child I was criticised for how much I ate and made to feel self conscious about my weight. When I look back at photos I can see that even though I felt I was fat and bigger than other people my age I actually wasn’t. I was perhaps curvier but that meant that I had boobs when a lot of girls didn’t. My bum wasn’t fashionable then but these days it would have been the pick of the bunch.

I always found it difficult to buy clothing. Curves had no place in the fashions of the 1980’s and 1990s where lean supermodels and the “waif” look were the epitome of fashion. Booty was still at least twenty years away. Clothing was made accordingly and girls with curves, like myself, struggled to fit our lumps and bumps into suitable clothing. Jeans were particularly bad. If they fitted my bum the legs were too long and the waist was enormous. With tops and dresses my boobs always seemed to pop out in an undesirable way. I resisted the idea of simply buying a bigger size and altering it. I had a mental barrier that prevented me from selecting anything above Australian size 14.

These days when I look at old photos I can’t understand how thought I was fat. I feel I wasted those years hiding myself just because of something someone who didn’t really have my best interest in mind told me I was unattractive. Sometime last year I got past this mental hurdle. Probably more from necessity than anything else but there I was. I was able to go into stores and ask for size 16. I looked in the plus section and found clothing that made me feel attractive and happy. I progressed down the path of being happy in my own skin. Then I went on my voyage and lost a significant amount of weight. A year ago I was the happiest I had ever been with my body. I felt slim, I was tanned and I fitted into all my clothes really well. I was comfortable and truly happy.

Fast forward to now and all that weight is back. I am resisting obsessing about it but I know I need to do something to reverse the trend. Buying bigger clothes is one thing and not really the problem but I also need to make healthier eating choices. Coming down from celebrating my birthday hard I am looking in the face of cutting back on alcohol and high calorie junk food. It is hard. The journey is going to be long but my experience last year taught me I can still have chocolate and alcohol and lose weight. I just need to include a lot of vegetables and smaller portions as well.

I have recently watched some friends undergo weight reduction surgery. Many people would think this approach is a cop out but after watching the preparation and the immediate aftermath of surgery I am here to say it definitely is not. I have reaffirmed my feelings that this is not for me. For some the surgery is life saving. Their journey, while difficult, leads to a much longer and healthier life than they would have otherwise had. For some it is a struggle. The after effects are long term, sometimes debilitating, and irreversible. I know people who have had this surgery and if they had their time over would not do it again. It is not for me.

And so here I go on another day of trying to eat cleaner, less processed and smaller amounts of food. Wish me luck.

TMI Tuesday – Only Boring People Get Bored

1. When was the last time you Ate Vanilla Slice ? (Now answer your question).

It has been a couple of weeks. I do love a good vanilla slice. Recently I shared one with a Twitter follower. This innocent coffee morning turned into an unexpected embrace and kiss in the carpark and some “relax time” together. I have enjoyed my time with him since then.

2. I’m bored, what should I do?

Only boring people get bored. So get your shit together and find something to entertain yourself or I will give you a menial task like cleaning the bathroom or re-folding the contents of my linen closet.

3. Who is the smartest person you know? Why do you say this?

The pharmacist is a pretty smart guy. He is fond of a pun and also a corny one liner. But in all seriousness the amount of random information he spouts blows my mind sometimes. I am grateful it is usually stuff I am interested in like biology and stuff. I am glad it isn’t physics or politics.

4. Are you awesome?

Of course! My list of talents is long but includes giving amazing blow jobs and being a firecracker in bed. Plus I have awesome boobs and an amazing arse. I am the complete package!

5. If you could take any reality show off the air, which one would it be?

All of them! Life is too short to spend much of it watching other people in contrived “reality” situations. Get out there and live people!

Bonus: After making a claim like the one above I guess I have to prove my point.

Boobs and arse. Two for one!

Fifty and Fabulous

I was born on 23 September 1972. On September 23 September 2022 I said goodbye to my forties and hello to my fifties. I started thinking about this milestone a year ago when I returned from our voyage. At the time I thought the idea of a year of “Being Fabulous” sounded good. but when I sat down to actually think about what that would look like I realised that my life, for the most part, was fabulous. I get to go places that are amazing regularly. I get to dress up and be as sexy as I like regularly. I fuck like a goddess as often as I want so what other fabulousness do I need in my life?

Having said that I planned a weekend of fabulousness to celebrate. And it was fabulous. There was cocktails, an great dinner, an amazing stage show, conversations, a spa and some amazing company with some very good friends. Oh and there was cake. Multiple cakes. A triple decker caramel mud cake with chocolate ganache and strawberries, A decadent chocolate cake shaped like a naked female torso and finally, possibly the best of them all a human decorated as a cake.

Thought the weekend I was constantly amazed by how generous people were with their time and in other ways. I am truly fortunate to have some very kind and beautiful people in my life. It was definitely a fabulous way to celebrate and is easily one of my best birthdays ever.

Can You Hear That?

No you can’t because there isn’t anyone there making a sound. My house is empty of humans. Except for me. Yes the dishwasher is humming and the washing machine is whirring but they can do their job without the need for instruction, assistance, admiration or just attention from me.

I don’t think anyone who lives with me understands how I feel right now. All of them have the luxury of as much alone time as they could want. None of them have a job that involves demanding, draining people in your face for eight hours straight. None of them have a deep seated need to create that gets stifled by people being present and demanding attention.

So now to write.

Photo by Kaitlyn Baker on Unsplash

I Don’t Chase

If you want me say so.

Even if you only have limited time.

Just be honest.

It has been a while but you have been busy so we kind of lost touch.

If you want me just say so.

This contrived conversation is irritating.

I enjoyed fucking you.

I was incredibly turned on by your strength and the way you placed me just so. You arranged my body for your pleasure. And in doing so fucked the life out of me.

But I do not chase after dick.

I am a Goddess

If you want me you have to ask.

Happy Anniversary

At this time on this day twenty – four years ago, I was on my way to my wedding reception with Mr Jones, my Matron of Honour and his Best Man. Our wedding was relatively simple. Especially compared with the productions that I have witnessed amongst, co-workers, friends and children of friends. I think the total cost of our event was less than $5000. That included everything, dress, suits, cars, reception, bar tab, hairdresser, the whole box and dice.

The simplicity and low budget of the event has been a hallmark of our life together. A wedding is just a bunch of frivolities. A way of demonstrating social standing to a group of people who don’t really matter. Of all of the people who actually attended my wedding a very small number are in my life today. I could count the number of them who I would invite to a replay on my fingers. Many girls fantasise about their wedding their whole life but don’t think to plan their marriage. I have to admit that I didn’t think about how my marriage would look a whole lot but I have learned that a wedding is a tiny fragment of the rich tapestry of a marriage.

And how has my marriage played out? There have been times when I wondered if it was the right thing. Times when the only way to describe it has been hard work. But without all that hard work, I would not be here now. Financially stable, even successful, two children who have grown into functioning adults and, most importantly, the confidence to life my own best life. This is one of my biggest achievements. Being able to be adult enough to call people in my life out for their failings and make strong, objective choices about what I will tolerate and what I won’t. I haven’t gotten it right all of the time. But these days I am getting it right most of the time and that is an achievement.

And so, as we eat sushi for our anniversary lunch lets look forwards to another year of living our best lives.

Lights on Lights Off

This weekend just passed Mr Jones and I attended a Neon themed night at our local (swingers club). Given that my latest obsession is making skimpy, stretchy clothing it made sense that I had an outfit that I had constructed. Before we left I got The Unicorn to take some snaps under the UV lights she has in her room (Don’t ask). I was happy with the effect

Enjoy your week!

Sinful Sunday

The Word for Today; Ouch

At the start of this term at for pole I made a choice to return to a couple of instructors classes because I knew they would push me. I had let The Unicorn convince me that moving away from one of these ladies in particular, lets call her The Domme, was OK. In my heart I guess I knew it wasn’t. I haven’t gone backwards but I haven’t gone forwards as much as I would like.

And so here I am. The morning after being smashed all around the studio with a bunch of strength and agility building exercises wondering how much my body is going to hurt tomorrow because sometimes the pain takes a couple of days. I have been working on training my mind out of negative self talk and so I am trying to focus on the things I CAN do rather than the way the younger, fitter girls just frog jumped and crab walked around with apparent ease. My climbing is getting better, I can do more vertical pole crunches with better form than before and my splits are getting better and better.

Happy Friday people!

TMI Tuesday – The Naked Edition

1. What do you wear to sleep in?

99% of the time I sleep naked. Only when it is unusually cold do I wear a long sleeved t-shirt to bed. For those of you in the Northern Hemisphere remember that houses in Australia typically don’t have any kind of heating installed so we rug up a bit more indoors when it is cold.

2. Do you ever walk around your own place naked?

Not as much as you would think. I still live with one of my children and my parents in law live in adjoining granny flat so covering up is kind of good manners.

3. Have you or would you ever answer the door naked?

Fully naked no. Partially clothed, yes. I am perfectly comfortable to talk to “the public” in a t-shjirt and panties or even my underwear. If they want to turn up at my house unannounced then they have to be prepared to take what they get.

4. What part of your body do you like to be on show? Why?

That is a bit of a no-brainer. My boobs of course! Why? Because, in the words of a special person, “They are spectacular”

5. When sunbathing how much do you bare?

As much as possible! I was very proud of getting a great tan with no tan lines after six months at sea last year. I never bother to sunbathe unless topless at least.

6. Have you or would you bare all on a naturist (nude) beach?

I have been to a few nude beaches and the beaches are usually quite spectacular. I do like baring all in the sun and nature. As explained above but the creepy middle aged men that seem to frequent these place can be intimidating and annoying. Plus, why deal with sand and inconvenience when you can sunbathe on a sand free deck with a refrigerator nearby when you need a snack or a drink?

7. Have you ever flashed your bits in public? If not would you if it turned your partner on?

I once famously flashed my bare arse in a busy McDonalds on the way home from a night out. Mr Jones was turned on and highly amused. Since then we have taken a lot of nature shots in places where people might happen along.

8. Have you ever given a striptease or has anyone given you one? Did you enjoy it?

One of my favourite things to do. Mr Jones does enjoy them. Along with some other people who have been on the receiving end.

9. Ever gone skinny dipping? Alone or with others?

Swimming naked in the ocean is an amazing feeling. If people want to join me they are more than welcome.

10. Do you like to look at naked people or do you want show off your nakedness?

I am an exhibitionist yes. But I do enjoy looking at naked men. They don’t have to be buff. I love looking at naked arses of men and their dicks of course.

Bonus:  Sexually speaking, what’s the furthest you would go with a partner in public? Have you had sex in public?

100% yes. Sex in public a few times. Remind me sometime and I will tell you about it. Right now I need to get off this laptop and go to work