Meeting people through dating apps seems to be the most surreal thing to me. Trying to decide who is worthy of your conversation from a brief hello a couple of random photos and a poorly completed bio. It is impossible to meet all of them in person so there has to be some kind of selection process.
My own bio says I am looking for someone with an imagination. I kind of know why I wrote that. I was tired of being the one calling all the plays and coming up with the ideas. I just want someone who takes control and tells me where to be at. Mostly so I can brat and tell them I don’t want to but sometimes because I just don’t want the responsibility.
But we digress. I was contacted by someone whose pics were meh but something in his bio made me go let’s give this a shot. He proclaims to be an explorer recently emerged from a long term relationship that had some kinky times but no swinging or group sex. Something I can, and have worked with. I don’t mind helping someone on this pathway. Then he asked this clanger
“What is the best experience you have ever had?”
My brain spun. Mostly because I didn’t want to let him know just how experienced I was. But also because that is like asking someone who has travelled all over the world what their favourite tourist destination is. After ten plus years of travel and “tourist destinations” I can’t even remember all of them. Not because they were unforgettable. But because they kind of blur into the past. There are specific people who stand out. Mostly the people who are in more recent history. But not specific experiences.
So how did I answer his question? Well I was very generic and said something like;
“I have had a lot of different experiences. They all have their pros and cons.”
And then I did this thing that I do that means I don’t have to expose myself. I asked him about himself.
The conversation is continuing. He hasn’t proven himself to be a complete dickhead so that is a good sign.
Corrupting Mrs Jones 
I wonder how you answer that question? I thought about it and a whole lot of experiences came to mind that qualifies as being the best experience(s) I’ve ever had. Then I wondered why he asked it because it’s not a question I would ask and… the jury is out on that one. But, he’s not proving himself to be your idea of an asshole so that’s a good thing… right?
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I guess when you are starting on a journey to non-monogamy you have a list of experiences you want to have. You don’t realise that after a while it just becomes this thing called life.
I had the same thing when we spent six months sailing along the Queensland Coast. Every day almost we saw or did or experienced a new place or thing. After six months of this people asked us what was our favourite part. How can you answer that?
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Oh, I do know what you mean. That first non-monogamous experience is a doozy but like you said, after a while, it just becomes as normal as anything else in your life. From “being out on your own” in this to group sex, every experience is the “best” experience until the next one comes along.
I couldn’t answer that question and for the same reason why you probably can’t answer it. Like, one of my best experiences in this was waking up in the middle of the night and, on my left, my wife was snoring away and, on my right, my poly wife was snoring, too, and I felt… so blessed to be in a relationship that a lot of guys would kill to be in. Did it get better than that? Yeah, it did so, yeah, trying to answer that question can result in not trying to – except in the way you gave him your non-answer, of course.
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Not the same question but may favorite question after someone tells you about an experience is “Would you go/do it again.” The answer tells you the real story.
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