My Shussy is What?????

I fell into the world of burlesque kind of by accident. A few years ago I started attending a pole dance studio that also taught burlesque. Well actually it was the other way around. A burlesque teacher who dabbled in pole-fit. It was here that I learned about the glitter filled world of burlesque and places where dancers who didn’t look like mainstream dancers went to shine.

I made friends with women who were destined to be these kinds of dancers. Carving their way into the world to shine their own light in their own way. It was through them that I attended some shows and was fascinated by this world of feathers, silk fans, and nipple tassels. Modern burlesque is a reflection of American Burlesque of the late 1800’s. But there are many twists and turns. Every performer has their own personal style and signature way of performing. In 2020 I was excited to attend one of the first incarnations of “Shreklesque”. Put simply this was a Shrek themed show featuring some burlesque performers that I knew and others that I had seen and heard of. Not all were burlesque performers. Some were drag queens and some were “boylesque” performers; Males that danced in burlesque style and costumes but did not present as female.

At the time Brisbane was just emerging from the first panicked Covid – 19 lockdown. We were nervous about gathering in large groups but we were excited to purchase our tickets and head to a small theatre that was used predominantly for community theatre events to support this little group of performers trying to keep their art alive. Fast forward two years and I was just as excited to see the show again after two years of development and in a bigger, more professional venue.

I was not disappointed. I was treated to dance, drag queens, weird parodies of Shrek characters and a mound of green pubic hair among other things. All of the performers pushed gender norms in some way. Men dressed as women. Women performing as male characters from the movie although not disguising their femininity. A gingerbread man that was more sexual than any baked good should be. The “normal” standard for body shape was either parodied in the form of fake six packs or completely ignored in the form of larger than life performers.

None of this made the performances less. In fact it made for a richer, more diverse show. Everyone on that stage was just living their best life. Audience members did not judge anyone be it performers or each other. You want to wear a lime green outfit and bright purple hair? Go you! The show’s creator Trigger Happy has danced for most of his life. An injury prevented him from making it into the mainstream world of broadway but it doesn’t stop him from kicking high and dropping into the splits in a way no man feels comfortable watching.

There are those people in the world that would not be able to see past his size to appreciate his athleticism. People who think athletic = skinny. There are people who think that larger, less pert breasts have no place in public viewing. They are wrong. Humans come in all shapes and sizes. And some of us are born to entertain no matter what shape or size we are.

Every Damn Day in June

In the Dark

A few months ago, when it was warmer, I was sunbathing on the front deck as we sailed to Moreton Island. A friend, we shall call him the Party Boat Man, went past with a raging party happening on deck. Most of the party people were young men. I covered up because I didn’t really want THAT much attention but as they went past I saw Party Boat Man on deck and I flashed him.

Honestly, I didn’t think it was that much of a big deal. But apparently it was. He didn’t believe that these boobs are completely natural and surgically unaltered. It has become a bit of a thing. Yesterday we saw him in the distance and there was a flurry of text messages with a few moments of him trying to chase us down to get another flash.

Then at 1.30am I get a message; “Titties??” In the dark I took this shot.

I was surprised at how well it came out given I had no idea what the camera was seeing.

Of course he was not happy with just one but that is a story for another day.

Boob Day
Every Damn Day in June

Bloopers

I took this image just after we returned from our voyage last year At the time I was uncertain of my direction with Sinful Sunday and I didn’t post it. Reviewing it tonight I liked it.

Until I noticed the unfortunate placement of a handle on a kitchen cupboard!!!!

The arse is still good though.

Sinful Sunday

Hello 3am

Image by Elf-Moondance from Pixabay

Earlier in the year I was chatting with a much younger work colleague about being awake at 3am. She was horrified that I seemed so casual about it until I assured her that 3am and I were old friends. I told her that a lot of the time it doesn’t bother me but sometimes stuff happens at 3am that keeps me awake for quite a long time and that can be a bit problematic the next day when people are expecting me to be functional. 

My journey to menopause was a little different from some people’s in that a lot of peri menopause symptoms were neatly masked by the contraceptive pill. In addition, I was quite young when I became menopausal (46 years old) so a lot of peri menopause symptoms that I experienced were not recognised as such. I was diagnosed with depression by my General Practitioner in my late thirties. He never even mentioned the possibility that it was probably linked to peri menopause. He probably didn’t even consider it. For several years I took the antidepressant Pristiq which is a desvenlafaxine class of drug and works by balancing the way your body processes serotonin. At the time when my GP diagnosed me an older friend who had experienced menopause told me that the symptoms I was experiencing could be related to pre or peri menopause. I didn’t talk to my GP about this and because he never mentioned it I just accepted his diagnosis. 

Insomnia has been a feature of my life for so long I can’t remember when it started. There seems to be this blur between having a toddler who didn’t sleep all night and dealing with young children who were ill during the night. Once the children were a bit older and sleeping better the snoring started. Mr Jones suffers from sleep apnoea. The snoring wasn’t loud but what was distressing was listening for his breathing to stop so I could jolt him back to breathing again. All in all I have had many reasons not to sleep well for so long that changes in sleep patterns as a result of peri- and post menopause were difficult to identify. 

While I was taking Pristiq I insomnia was an issue. If for whatever reason I was awake at 3am and didn’t go immediately back to sleep I would toss and turn sometimes for two or three hours only to doze for a short while before the alarm went at 5am to start the day. These sessions of wakefulness were made worse because I would worry the whole time because I knew I would feel like rubbish the next day. Sometimes I would make myself get up and do some kind of task, planning a lesson, ironing even writing. Often this would be enough to settle my mind and sleep would be easier. A lot of times I didn’t have the mental power to get myself out of a warm bed, dress and begin the task. These were the times I would toss and turn and ultimately be a mess the next day. Even while all this was happening I was blaming the depression. There was never any consideration that it could be my hormones.

After several years I went back to the same GP (doctor choice in my area is not great) and asked to change medication. Not because of the sleep but that is another story. He changed me to a medication called Valdoxan which works by mimicking the pattern of melatonin. Almost immediately I noticed some changes. I still had my eyes open to say hi to 3am regularly but it didn’t bother me as much as it used to. The small amount of sleep I sometimes got was enough. Around the same time I stopped taking the contraceptive pill and have not had a period since. A hormone screen confirmed that I am post- menopausal. 

Is the change in my sleeping due to the medication or the change in my hormones or a combination of both? Even if I stop taking this medication I will likely never know. My journey to menopause was unconventional and clouded by other issues. I was 46 when the GP confirmed my menopausal status which is quite young. This is probably why my doctor didn’t really discuss menopause as a contributor to my depression or sleep issues. Additionally, as I said earlier the area I live in is not populated well with affordable high quality doctors. Often a woman has to deal with being treated by a male doctor from a very conservative cultural background. This means discussing issues like reproductive health can be awkward. Mentioning unconventional lifestyles like non-monogamy can lead to some prejudice. 

It is unlikely that I will ever really be sure if my relationship with 3am is a result of a mental health condition or if it is related to menopause. I don’t know if my mental health condition is related to menopause. I don’t think I will ever get answers because the time for seeking them has passed. What I do know is that women sharing their stories in an honest open forum is probably the best way for us to learn about this issue and become empowered. By creating the menopause diaries Marie has given women a space to share their experiences and possibly learn from each other. 

The Menopause Diaries

Blending In

We spent the night in a bay of an island we had visited on our way north about four months ago. Like most of the thousands of islands that dot the Queensland coast this one is dominated by Granite and other volcanic rock forms. Once in pre-history they were part of the mainland. Once in the pre-history of THAT they were formed by volcanoes. The science teacher in me is loves to tell people about all that Mr Jones is often bemused by my fascination with rocks.

As we walked on the beach I was attracted to a boulder that looked like a sugar skull. As happens with so many places frequented by people the rock had smaller rocks placed in cavities formed by volcanic gas all those millennia ago (Did I mention that I love rocks?). This decoration is part of what made it look like a sugar skull.

As Mr Jones snapped he commented that I was blending in with the rock. I guess I am at the stage of my journey where I am starting to become part of the landscape.

Sinful Sunday

Thirty Dirty Questions – Question 11

Would you ever visit a sex therapist? What would be the reason and what do you think their advice would be for you?

The short answer to this question is no. Even though I was diagnosed with depression by a General Practitioner and take medication for it I am quite reluctant to visit a therapist to discuss this condition. I can’t really define the reasons for this but I guess they are part of being in this mental state. I have started journaling both about my life as it is and my sexual life. They really are hand in hand so that is as it should be really. That is as close as I am going to get to a therapist for now. It is helping me to see things a little more clearly but as time goes by my dedication to journaling every day is slipping so the benefits are waning a little

So why would I visit a sex therapist? I think I would maybe visit one if I was in a poly relationship and there were issues. That isn’t really a sex therapist but that is the only sexual reason I would visit a therapist that I can identify. I have a friend who worked as a therapist for people in ‘alternative’ relationships. She is completely amazing and someone I hope I can spend more time with, in the future. I think she is the most likely person I would visit for therapy.

What would she tell me? Love yourself. Know your own value and don’t get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you as you are.

Oh wait

I gave that advice out earlier this week to a young woman who go into a bad situation.

Maybe I am a therapist

TMI Tuesday – Saturday Sex Hangover Edition

It has been a week. The wind and the seas have not been kind to us and we are now holed up in a marina waiting for the wind to drop. A few weeks ago I sent some possible questions to TMI Tuesday. I didn’t realise they were this weeks questions until I was catching up on my blog reading. So given they are my questions (at least in part) I thought I should give them some air time. A chance message yesterday led to a long sex session so my words may ramble a little today as my thinking is a little skewed.

1. What are your thoughts on public nudity or skimpy clothing?

This is a complex question for me. My stupid Catholic childhood conditioning still pokes its head up from time to time and makes me pass judgement on girls wearing shorts that show their arse cheeks and display their bodies in a sexual way. Then I find myself walking around my yacht nude without a care for the people who can see me.

Our bodies are all beautiful. Being nude in nature, such as at the beach or outdoors is part of the beauty and freedom of those places. Being nude at home is personal choice. No one should judge you for how you dress in your own home. If they don’t like what you are wearing or doing they shouldn’t be looking.

Social conventions state that when in public company we wear clothes. Besides clothes can be fun and also enhance your comfort level. However if what I am wearing is safe I don’t need to consider your ideas about modesty. If you don’t like my cleavage or my arse then don’t look!

2. Which of the following best describes you:
a. Exhibitionist
b. Voyeur
c. Keep nudity and things sexual behind closed doors

Definitely an exhibitionist. I like to do things that shock. I like people looking at me when I am nude or wearing something revealing. I like the feeling of power it gives me. And I love the idea that I am turning someone on.

3. What is the most revealing outfit that you have ever worn in public?

I do pole dance for fitness. I frequently wear clothing that shows my arse and my cleavage. A couple of years ago I did a class that was more about floorwork than pole and for our graduation performance we did a semi strip. I loved it.

4. There are only two types of beaches left in the world–clothing optional and must be clothes-free. Which beach will you visit?

Must be clothes free. Because being nude at the beach is amazing. Although I can do without the creepy middle aged men who think a nude beach is a valid pick up zone.

5. You have just gotten out of the shower to find that your towel is hanging outside on the clothesline. Your house is full of guests. Do you:
a. Call out for someone to bring your towel.
b. Use something else to dry yourself.
c. Retrieve your towel as inconspicuously as possible wrapping it around you at the earliest chance.
d. Take advantage of the sunshine and dry yourself au naturale in your backyard.

I am going with c. although I probably wouldn’t worry too much about being inconspicuous. As I stated in question 1. If you don’t like how I am dressed when I am at home then don’t freaking look. Or as Pete Symes says “If you don’t like my peaches then don’t shake my tree”

Bonus: Have you ever skinny dipped or visited a nude beach? Pictures would be awesome!

I have visited a couple of nude beaches in my travels. Or is that I have been nude at beaches regardless of the dress code? Meh Potato Potahto. We did visit an “official” nude beach at Magnetic Island. The beach was beautiful in the extreme. The patrons of the beach were friendly enough although I was the only nude female and there was the usual contingent of creepy middle aged men. Including one wearing a cock ring??

Something about rocks at the beach they are so warm.

Thirty Dirty Questions – Question 9

If you were to “recreate” the early days of your favourite sexy relationship, what would they look like? Would you change anything?

Both Mike from Marriage, Sex and More and Rebel from Rebel’s Notes commented to me that they found Question 8 challenging. I must admit that I felt the same way, but I was more challenged by this question. When I reflected about my potential answers, I realised that my favourite sexy relationship is often the most recent. I think it is human nature to want what you cannot have rather than appreciate what is easily available. And so, when a sexual partner becomes unavailable the amount of pleasure you remember having with them is increased.

This was definitely the case with Pet. For a long time after he departed from my life, I was always looking back at what we had and hoping to find someone equal to him. While we did some amazing stuff, and I had a very enjoyable time over quite a long period if I was honest there were times that were not perfect. Particularly towards the end of our time together I knew it was winding down and becoming routine. I remember thinking after one encounter that our relationship was reaching the end of its shelf life. Yet when he pulled the pin unexpectedly with no explanation it was suddenly the best sexy relationship ever had.

Pet loved wearing my knickers and I loved seeing him in them.

The same sort of thing happened with JB. I absolutely loved being part of his awakening and giving him the opportunity to experience things he had only fantasised about for so long. He was a very caring and generous lover. But again, after a time I knew my attention was going to wane and again he withdrew unexpectedly and suddenly, and I was left feeling like I had been deprived.

As time goes by and new people enter your life the old people who have departed fade into the background. The same applies with sexual relationships. The best sex is the sex you are having now with the person you are with. For me anyway. I know that there is bad sex and I have had plenty of that but somehow, I still feel that connection with the last lover as if they are the best. From a biological point of view, I can understand there is probably some body chemistry that makes you feel this way. It is nature’s way of tricking you into staying with your mate long enough to raise the offspring you are creating.

So, what does all this have to do with the question? Everything and nothing. I guess the short answer is that I don’t have an exact favourite or, rather, they are all favourites. Would I change any of them? Probably not. They have all been experiences and that is what this lifestyle is about for me.

Morning Glory

I am a morning sex person. There is something about the freshness of morning that makes sex natural free and unencumbered before the events of the day create baggage.

I woke up and spooned Mr Jones for a while as my hand wrapped around his cock. While he wasn’t entirely hard he soon was. Then he was awake. We fucked for a while and then I decided to get out of bed. Not before he asked me to lie on his chest.

Not a bad view to wake up to.

Find out who else is sinning. Click on the lips!

Sinful Sunday