Imbalance in Internet Dating

As a person in an open relationship who is actively seeking partners I spend a lot of time dating. I don’t mean the awkward dinners that are portrayed on “First Dates”. I am talking about the internet style hook – up type dating. I use a website that is specifically for swingers and I avoid mainstream dating websites like Tinder. My main reasoning for that is to protect my privacy and avoid being outed by someone in my professional life. There is a part of me that is curious to see what would happen if I set up a Tinder account but I am not brave enough yet.

The thing with any dating app whether the user is seeking a soulmate or a one night stand it seems that there is a surplus of males and a seemingly tiny number of receptive females. I hear stories from men about meeting women who get inundated with hundreds of messages. So many that it is impossible for them to reply. That has not been my experience. I am almost fifty, I am married and state clearly I am looking for a man who is comfortable being naked in front of my husband. That in itself seems to weed out a lot.

Despite that I do get attention. I could never hope to meet every man that messages me even those that might be attractive to me or interested in similar activities. If I did meet every man that is attractive and interested I would never get out of bed. I have to narrow the field somehow. I have to make some choices and let others fall by the wayside. I can make arbitrary rules like “If you don’t have a picture in your bio” or “If your initial message is full of Text speak like HowRU” then you don’t make the cut. But I still have to talk to a lot of men who are never going to get in my panties, so to speak.

I have posted before about disappointments. About spending the time talking, exchanging pics, building up some attraction and tension, arranging to meet and then…. Crickets. It is at these times I wonder about my selection process. Should I change my criteria? Am I looking in the wrong place? Is there something I missed? Sometimes I nod in recognition of something that did raise itself but I ignored because he looked hot / I was busy / I was horny etc. Sometimes I am mystified. Sometimes it is the universe saving me from myself. Sometimes I meet some amazing people, like Johnny.

Of late I am with Mr Jones 24 / 7. He sees everything I do which is something he didn’t at home. He doesn’t have a problem with it but I think it has been a bit of an eye opener for him. We have had more open conversations about what each other is wanting / needing. It has been a time of growth for both of us. He has a better understanding of some of my frustrations and the process of making things happen. A lot of times with our lifestyle we discuss an idea and then it happens with little legwork from him. He very rarely puts in the work of building a connection and discussing possibilities with anyone except me.

For me I have a better grip on what he wants but also on how he feels about what I do. The monogamy habit still overshadows things for me sometimes. There is often a lurking fear that I will hurt Mr Jones or damage our relationship. Spending this time with him and discussing different scenarios has helped me to see that he is truly fine with most things as long as he is confident that I am taking him into consideration. I am “allowed” to be slutty and impulsive and have sex with someone I ran into without protracted negotiation and consent from him. He likes the idea of something like that happening and finding out about it later. It is something I am getting used to. I am not quite ready to do something like that but I guess the time will come.

Like everything in this life things are constantly evolving and changing. There are things that we do now that we would not have done even two years ago. I have no doubt there will be other things that we will add to our repertoire over time and still others that will be struck off the list. It is all a question of balance really.

Image by Neel Shakilov from Pixabay

This post was written for Wicked Wednesday prompt #472 “Balance” to see who else is sharing click the button below.

Thirty Dirty Questions – Question 6

What are your thoughts on foreplay – favourite types, best experiences, wishes?

There was a time when foreplay was not something I was particularly worried about. The reason? I didn’t know anyone who was good at it. I am sorry to say Mr Jones did fall into that category. These days he has upped his game and he is on a cycle of continuous improvement.

I am a HUGE fan of oral sex. I LOVE to give head, and by most accounts I am pretty good at it. Although if I am not particularly interested or I feel I am not getting gratitude my game might suffer slightly. I also love to give oral to a woman. If the mood takes me. Satisfying a woman orally is more challenging sometimes but the rewards can be great.

When it comes to being on the receiving end I am picky. I have said many times the number of guys who think they are amazing at giving head is much higher than the number who actually are. I don’t know why, maybe it is me. I am a bit of a princess when it comes to my lady bits and if you go at them hammer and tongs you are going to be told to leave them alone. Additionally, good oral sex makes me squirt. It is easy to tell if a man doesn’t like the feeling of my juice in his face or the taste in his mouth. If a guy doesn’t like it then he will generally stop. This will make me feel like I am missing out because he is getting his cock sucked well and I feel like I have missed a large chunk of the pleasures available.  and I will be sad. So a pre-requisite is you have to like it. And there is nothing sexier than a man who cannot get enough. I once had a man grip my thighs and press his face against my cunt to gulp every drop like he was dying of thirst. It was one of the hottest things I had felt in a long while.

Other types of foreplay can be fun. I like kissing and a little bit of teasing. Stroking and playing with different sensations but often I get impatient and want to get to the main course. What can I say? I am a bit greedy.

My current wish is to be tied and teased. Possibly with a blindfold. Hopefully with more than one person present.

Three is Company

I often write stories from the perspective of a male rather than a female. Even if it is based on an experience of my own. Reflecting on a recent encounter I decided to try writing from the perspective of each person a bit like a reality TV commentary. Please let me know how you think it worked.

Harry

Living in a small town sometimes makes it hard to find a FWB. Choices are limited. People get funny if you like something a little different. No one likes to admit they get freaky in the sheets even if people do. All guys ever do around here is fish and drink.

I met Jenna online through a dating app. When we started chatting, she lived in a city far away from me. I don’t know why she talked to me really, but she was cool, and we sometimes shared pics. I fantasised that I would visit her city one day to see her.

One afternoon I was flicking through profiles and I noticed that she had changed her location. She was travelling with her husband and heading my way! I couldn’t believe it! Maybe my fantasy would come true.

Brian

I love my wife. She is an amazing person. She doesn’t always agree with me, but I think she is amazingly beautiful. When we go to lifestyle events men are always attracted to her and want to be around her. She always worries that I will get left out but a lot of the time she is the most attractive one in the room and I just can’t get excited about anyone else.

Lately we have been meeting single guys. She seems to mainly like younger guys, but they can be fickle. I hate it when she thinks she has arranged a meeting and they bail on her. They honestly don’t know what they are missing. She is really good at sex because she likes to make her partners happy. It is a joy to watch.

Jenna

I wasn’t sure about Harry. He was a guy who seemed to have a good heart, but I wasn’t sure. I learned when I was much younger that sometimes giving guys like him a go can be rewarding. Which is the reason why I never just shove them to the side. But he had slowly stopped talking to me and I was surprised when he messaged me.

Getting timing right can be tricky. Travelling by sea is subject to weather and sometimes you arrive well before you intend, mostly it takes longer. Harry lived in a place we were not really intending to visit and then the wind blew us here. The town surprised us. At a time when I was anxious about our journey and needed to breathe for a day or two, I found a place that let me do that. Harry was persistent if nothing else. We had no plans, so we agreed to hang out.

Harry

She was staying in the marina. A tiny pontoon with about twenty boats tied up to it. Of course, hers was the most beautiful sitting proudly amongst the run-down fishing boats. In the darkness we embraced for the first time. She felt amazing in my arms and she smelled so good. Better than the coal smell that filled my car and my hut at camp. She showed me around her boat and introduced me to her husband. They offered me a beer and we sat on the couch chatting about their trip and stuff.

Earlier in the day she told me that her husband was bi. I was nervous. I had never done anything with a guy, and I wasn’t sure what to expect but he was cool. He sat apart from us while we chatted. I felt her hand on my leg her fingers sneaking under the leg of my boardies. I stroked her arm, still unsure of how fast to go. Then she started unbuttoning my shirt. I took it off and she started playing with my nipples. Her hands slipped down into the waist of my shorts, my cock was so hard.

Brian

Jenna thinks she is being subtle, but she isn’t. We had talked about how interested her friend was in guys. Lately I have been participating more in her choices and expressing my desires to suck cock and see, smell, and taste his cum. Jenna discussed this with Harry. He hadn’t ever done that kind of thing before, but he wasn’t ruling it out. Watching them together was cute. I could see he was shy, and I could see she would probably prefer a bit more of a one-on-one encounter.

I left them for a while and went to our bedroom to read but all the time I was listening to them. I could tell she was enjoying herself by her moans. I didn’t know what he was exactly doing but I could tell she was having the type of climaxes that usually make her squirt. Then her voice was muffled a little. I imagined her mouth full of his cock. It made me hard.

Harry

She tasted amazing. When I licked her and fingered her at the same time my mouth filled with her juice. I could have drunk her sweet liquid all night. Her mouth on my cock was amazing. I hadn’t had a head job in forever and this one was one of the best. I could have let myself cum in her mouth, but I didn’t want to spoil it by asking for permission.

We moved to the bedroom I lay on the bed and she straddled me. I thought she was going to take my cock inside her, but she just rubbed her pussy on me. The slightest touch against her pussy sent shudders through her. It was so intense.

Jenna

I sat astride him. I was so turned on the slightest touch sent a jolt through me. I wanted his cock to fill me, but he pushed me down and fingered me again. I could feel my juice gushing over his hand. At the entrance to the room, I saw Brian naked, watching us. I smiled, happy to see him sliding into bed beside me.

Harry kneeled on the bed beside us with his hand gripping his cock as he watched us fucking. He watched us closely, his hand working his cock.

“Cum on my tits,” I whispered to him. He nodded.

“Come closer,” Brian encouraged him. I know what Brian likes.

Harry came so quickly. So sexy. I felt Brian get harder inside me as the first hot liquid splashed across me. His load was much bigger than I was used to. Jets of warm cum sprayed over both of us and Brian pumped harder into me. Harry groaned and fell back on the bed watching us. I could feel my orgasm building in time with Brian.

With a groan he climaxed, tipping me over the edge. It was intense. The room seemed filled with pheromones and the scent of sex. The three of us relaxed breathing heavily, happy, satiated.

Someone made a comment about the drive Harry had to make to go home,

“My feet won’t touch the ground the whole way back to camp.”

After we had recovered, I walked back to his car with him. We embraced and kissed goodbye. His cock was hard against my leg.

“Oh my God you are ready to go again!” I exclaimed. I did not expect that. If I had known I would have sucked his cock until he came in my mouth. I rubbed him through his shorts.

“I should have said something,” he looked sheepish.

“Something to remember for next time.” I smiled in the darkness.

He got into his car and drove away. I wondered if I would see him again. I walked back through the marina parking lot and down the gangway. I was wearing a long flowing cardigan with nothing underneath. Something easy to dress in. In the darkness walking past the sleeping boats, I let the garment fall open. The breeze pulled the fabric away to expose my naked breasts. I knew there were other men living on some of the boats, I didn’t care. In that moment I felt like a goddess. I pushed back my shoulders daring the world to look at me and comment.

Relaxing In To It

As I write this I am still wondering at the concept that we have only been on this journey for a week. It almost feels like we have been doing this always. In the weeks leading up to our departure I worried about missing my pets. One week in and I was scrolling through photos on my phone and I saw a picture of my bird. I was like “yes, I remember him”.

Part of the reason I think I am feeling this way is the weekend we just spent with some good friends who travelled to meet us where we are staying for a little while. For two days clothing was optional, alcohol was consumed when and as much or as little as desired, and there was no guard on what we said or did. It wasn’t an orgy but that didn’t matter. We were free.

I had a moment of realisation at one point that for the next 20 weeks I will not have to guard the division between Gemma and Mrs Jones as carefully. For this time instead of 80% Mrs Jones and 20% Gemma I will be 80% Gemma and 20% Mrs Jones. Worrying what the neighbours think will be a secondary issue.

Being in a space where you are yourself and there is no judgement is very liberating. It is something that can be difficult to achieve. It is also something that can be hard to accept. For too long most of us have to be careful of what we say and do. Especially those of us who like to do things other people consider to be morally questionable. For us finding a place where we can be in the bubble of complete acceptance is rare.

I find myself frequently telling people I am the most fortunate person. Currently I am living the dream. Many people that I speak to are envious of our opportunity. They wish they could be like us; on this journey. I am acutely aware of how privileged I am. How fortunate I am that I can afford to buy this yacht, how fortunate I am that I can afford to take this much leave from work, how fortunate I am that I can leave my children to fend for themselves for this time. The list goes on and on. This weekend added another element to my good fortune.

I am living in a marriage with a person who gets great joy from seeing me be sexually fulfilled. Not only that, I have friends who think the same way and accept me for me. In fact, if they are to be believed they actually think I am cool and sexy. A goddess if you please. If there was a utopia I believe I went there last weekend. The comedown was not as harsh as it could have been. Although I feel that for our friends it may have been a little worse because they all had to return to work on Monday. I merely took my yacht a little further up the coast to find another idyllic beach….

This post is part of this week’s Wicked Wednesday. To see who else is being wicked click on the button below.

TMI Tuesday – The Good Life Edition

1. What is an ideal weekend for you?

An ideal weekend would consist of some serious play time that included about two hours of continuous sex of some form, a large portion would involve fucking. Some time spent on the boat in a sunny part of Moreton Bay being at least semi naked in the sun and time to sleep and recover from the fucking.

2. What is the craziest job you would consider taking?

There are many people in the world who think I am crazy for doing the job I do now. Although I find it mostly rewarding. Despite frequent rants about troublesome students and Central Leadership making stupid unrealistic demands.

Apart from this job the craziest job I have considered was working as a scientist for the summer season in Antarctica. I was much younger then. I didn’t get very far through the application process before I realised it probably wasn’t for me.

3. Where would you rate yourself as a kisser on a scale of 1 to 10? (10 being the best kisser ever!)

I am OK at kissing. I wouldn’t call myself great so maybe a 6 or 7.
A play friend I knew once had this feedback system going where you gave him a rating about certain skills he felt were important. Maybe I should start something like that.

4. What do you like most and least about your significant other’s cooking?

The think I like most about Mr Jones’ cooking is that when he does it I don’t have to. Don’t get me wrong, I generally LIKE cooking. What I don’t like is having to think about WHAT to cook after a day of work and having to plan what I need to buy to do said cooking.

What do I like least about Mr Jones cooking? That when it is his turn to cook I often end up doing the planning and decision making that is the part I don’t like about having to cook myself.

5. How has smartphone photography changed your world?

I am not sure if smartphone photography changed my world a lot. Certainly during the early years of my marraige and parenthood a physical camera was a big part of my life. Since having a smartphone I did move away from needing a separate item just to take photos.

A hiking trip that involved rock hopping accross a creek and a swim for my phone has convinced me that for our current, water based, adventure that I would invest in a waterproof camera. I do not regret my choice but I do still use my phone.

Bonus: What is a good life?

To me a good life is one that has been well lived. In doing this a person has achieved their goals, and been happy and productive. I don’t believe a person can be productive if they have not contributed to making the world a better place. Just accumulating stuff or satisfying your personal whims is not enough.

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. To see who else is sharing click on the icon below.

On the Water

Sometimes you meet someone who is clearly going to be an amazing lover. Sometimes those encounters leave a lasting imprint and you wish you could go back and do them over and over.

The night was warm. The weather was clear with no wind. I wanted to show a new friend our boat because he was really interested in boats. We took our yacht out into the bay, just a little way. Far enough away that no one would hear the screams but close enough that we could watch the lights of the harbor. Or rather that they would provide a pleasant backdrop.

Once the anchor was down we lay out the front on the trampoline. The slight breeze lifted my dress, maybe it was helped a little by his hand. He kissed me deeply, pressing his body against mine. I responded, thrusting my hips against his hand that had found its way inside my panties. Skilled fingers stroked my swollen clit as he nibbled against my neck. I slipped my hand inside his shorts.

“See what you do to me,” his breath was hot in my ear.

A little whimper escaped me as his fingers slipped inside me.

“I want to put myself in there,” I loved the sound of his voice. The way his accent made the words sound. It made me want him more. But I wasn’t ready for his cock yet. I flipped him on his back and opened his shirt. His nipples responded to my touch. As I sucked and nibbled he moaned with pleasure. My hand caressed the soft smooth skin of his cock before I slid my mouth downwards over the head of his cock. I paused, taking time pull back his foreskin and stroke the smoothness underneath as I applied more suction. His hips bucked under me and his hands held the back of my head as he pushed his cock deep into my mouth.

With a wicked smile I sat astride him with the hardness of his cock pressing against the hot wetness of my cunt, separated by the thin fabric of my panties.

“How much do you want me,” I smiled, enjoying the tease.

“Very much,” his hands gripped my hips, “I want to make you cum twenty times and cover me with your juice.”

I ground down on him aware that my husband was standing in the shadows, watching us, not ready to join in yet. There was a pause as I found the condoms. I lay back watching him slide the sheath over himself. His cock was strong and proud. I knew he was skilled. He arranged me the way he wanted and knelt between my legs with his cock resting against my opening. Slowly he slid inside me, all the time watching my face. The dim light from the foreshore lit his body perfectly.

“You feel so amazing,” he said softly as he began thrusting.

I was lost in the feeling of his cock inside me, pushing me open. He twisted my hips, finding the spots he knew would trigger a reaction. He looked so fucking sexy, a little furrow appeared in the middle of his forehead.

“What is wrong?” I worried, I always worry. I didn’t want to spoil this perfect moment.

“I am concentrating,” he replied. He took his cock and stroked my pussy. My body arched and I squirted juice over his cock. He grinned in happiness, “That is what I wanted.” He slipped inside me and fucked me hard. His energy was astounding. It felt like he could fuck like this forever.

There was movement beside me and my husband settled beside us. He had taken his pants off and I could see how turned on he was by watching us fuck. I flipped my friend over and sat astride him so that I could lean down and take the second cock into my mouth. I slipped off my dress completely and my friend reached up to hold my breasts.

“Such beautiful boobsies,” he murmured pressing his face into them before taking each nipple into his mouth.

If there was a heaven, I was in it. Two men, two cock, a beautiful night. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I really can’t remember the exact order of events after that. I know that I came more than the requisite twenty times. I know that I fucked each of them over and over. I know that my friend was covered in my juice and I know that I wanted to pack him into my suitcase and take him away on my trip.

Images keep flashing into my mind. Of a sexy dark haired man fucking like a rabbit. Of my husband fucking me as I bent over the bed with my friend’s cock in my mouth. Of my friend cumming in my mouth while my husband’s cock was inside me. It truly was magical.

This post is part of MMMonday week 15. Click on the badge below to read more deliciousness

You Can’t Touch This

One of the things that some swingers pride themselves on is being conscious about obtaining consent. The phrase “No means No” is a mantra often repeated. I have observed this more frequently in the club that Mr Jones and I visit than in more private settings such as house parties or interactions between groups of acquaintances at say a camping weekend. For reasons that I am still formulating Mr Jones and I have not attended the private gathering type of swinger event for several years but recently we became acquainted with a couple who are a prominent feature of this kind of socialising and we have found ourselves flung back into the mix.

It is an interesting time as we are experienced but at the same time, we find ourselves acting a little bit like newbies. Sometimes we are unsure of how to act, what to expect when we turn up at someone’s house and what is expected of us. Some of the people we are encountering are people we have known for a long time and others are people who have been ‘in the scene’ but we have somehow not met. Whatever the case we found ourselves at an end of Summer Toga party recently. The hosts had gone to great effort to make their house look the theme and it was amazing. Much alcohol was consumed and there was a lot of flirting.

Flirting is often accompanied by what many people would consider foreplay. Extended kissing, stroking of body parts like breasts and perhaps a little fondling of genitals. I had interactions like this with several of the people present and most of them were pleasant as they were with men I would have taken things further with. However there was one man present who I didn’t want to go there with. I am certain the feeling was reciprocated. I won’t go into the history but there is a bit.

On this particular evening Mr Obnoxious was quite drunk. Other people who knew him better than me said they had never seen him that drunk. Quite early in the evening he had occasion to brush against me because I was sitting where he had left his phone. He said, “I am sorry,” to which I replied, “Are you?”

This is a response which I sometimes use with students who are annoying me with bad behaviour. It is a challenge to them to consider their behaviour for more than a millisecond and not just excuse themselves with a false politeness. The awkwardness I felt around him made me defensive. He clearly didn’t feel the same way because he took my comment in a flirty way and proceeded to grope my boobs. I didn’t quite know how to deal with that and so in the way of too many women everywhere I said nothing. During the rest of the evening there were another couple of times that he took the opportunity to put his hands on my boobs. Clearly he liked them. He never considered asking if this was OK with me or even really spoke to me. In such an alcohol and sex charged environment it was hard to formulate a response that wouldn’t cause a scene and result in me looking like the one with a problem. The other women seemed to treat his behaviour as cute if they weren’t interested or go with it if they were.

The next day as Mr Jones and I discussed the events of the evening his behaviour was a prominent topic. We agreed that his touching of me was not appropriate. Up to that point I wasn’t completely convinced. I still held on to that old chestnut that perhaps I had invited his touching by simply being a woman at a sex event and dressing provocatively. Mr Jones told me that at one point he had tried to tell him to stop but he had been ignored.  

I tried to explain to Mr Jones about the conditioning of women to not say outright no. I tried to make him understand that often I don’t feel that I CAN say no. There is always that little seed of doubt in my mind that says “What if I am wrong? What if I did something to tell him he could even inadvertently? What if I make a fuss and look like an idiot?” Sometimes I am strong and confident and I do tell men like that to fuck off. Right then, at that party, I was not. I felt awkward and unsure of myself. I was not confident of anything about me. I didn’t feel sexy or particularly desirable.

That is not a reflection on anyone there including Mr Jones. That is all on me. Once I would have walked into a situation like that and flirted with and fucked whoever I wanted. I would have thought to hell with the mutterings of others behind my back. 2021 me is not that woman. I have taken pause and listened to some of the mutterings. I have lost that confidence. Sometimes I yearn for the old me. Sometimes I think she was way too arrogant.

In my working life, my principal requires that we set goals every year in a formal review system. We are required to have two professional goals and one “Spiritual Formation”goal I shat out the professional goals without too much difficulty. That kind of “management speak” comes out easily for me. The spiritual goal gave me pause. I don’t want to write “Go to church more” or “seek out opportunities for prayer and reflection”. They sound stupid. Maybe I should write “take steps to improve my confidence in my own worth and abilities.”

Fantasy vs Reality Pt 2 – The Reality

For this week’s Wicked Wednesday I posted a man’s swing fantasy. In the original post the challenge was to post the fantasy and the reality. This is the second part of the post – the reality.

They could hear the faint bass of the music through the glass door as they stepped up to the entrance to the club. As he placed his hand on the door handle, he glanced over at Nicole. Finally, they were here. Tonight was the night that the fantasy that filled his mind every time he touched himself would become a reality.

“Ready?” he asked, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach.

She squeezed his hand and smiled, just as nervous as he was.

“Let’s do it.”

They stepped through the door together. Daniel wasn’t sure what he expected but when he was completely honest, he was a little disappointed. The inside of the club was very similar to other nightclubs except there were far fewer people. Patrons stood chatting at the bar and the small tables scattered around. In one corner a dance floor with two poles was mostly empty. Like himself and Nicole most of the patrons wore normal street clothes, just a little bit shorter and some of them with more revealing necklines.

He didn’t know what he really expected but he was certainly disappointed at the lack sexiness of the whole scene. There were no pornographic images on the wall. No naked or semi naked people anywhere to be seen or even people making out. It all seemed so boring.

The managers of the club showed them around, explained the rules about not touching without an invitation, not entering a closed room and where to put the towels after they used them. At the end of the tour Daniel and Nicole were introduced to a few of the regular people and they found themselves chatting to an older couple. The conversation was about regular things mostly. Occasionally the couple would ask a question about how long they had been together and what they were wanting out of tonight but they didn’t know how to answer. It was all so awkward. Daniel’s fantasy seemed further away than ever. It seemed straightforward at home in their bedroom but now they were really here and really doing it suddenly it seemed a little more complex. He looked over at an adjoining table, two couples were flirting and chatting with each other. How does that happen? he wondered.

Time passed, the other couple seemed attractive enough but he wasn’t sure of the protocol. They seemed a little hesitant. Maybe they weren’t interested. Then seemingly out of the blue the woman asked,

“Do you guys want to get a room?”

He looked over at Nicole. She nodded,

“Why not?” She replied with a smile.

Relief washed through Daniel, followed by a sudden rush of nerves. It was really going to happen now. Really.

Once inside the room things happened quickly. The couple undressed, quickly and efficiently. Daniel felt like a klutz shrugging out of his clothes. The four of them lay on the bed together and looked at each other. The other couple seemed to be waiting for some kind of cue.

“So what kinds of things are you guys interested in?” The woman asked.

Nicole shrugged, “We don’t have any expectations,” she replied. “Whatever comes along I guess,”

The women started kissing. Daniel watched, feeling his cock stiffening. This was one of the things he knew she wanted. It was one of the things he wanted as well. The sight of their two soft bodies pressing together was incredibly sexy, so much more arousing in real life than watching two women in a porno.

Just as he was getting into what was happening between the women the other woman broke away from Nicole,

“I don’t like the guys to feel left out,” she smiles up at him as she snuggled against him. It felt odd, the first woman he had been naked with except for Nicole for seven years. The feel of the unfamiliar skin excited him. He bent down and kissed her, slowly at first before her mouth opened and he probed her with his tongue. Over her shoulder he could see Nicole kissing the other man. Daniel was torn between exploring the woman curled up against him and watching his wife with another man. His new partner broke out of the kiss and wiggled her way down the bed. As he kneeled above her, watching his wife being pleasured by another man she began licking the tip of his cock.

Her tongue swirled around his foreskin before she took him deeper and deeper into her mouth. Daniel looked down at her head as she sucked and then over at Nicole who was lying back on the second bed with the other man’s face buried between her thighs. The whole scene was surreal and intensely exciting, but he worried about a million things.

His head filled with doubts, would he be big enough, would he do this right is he big enough? The other man’s penis seemed enormous to him. Suddenly he felt completely inadequate. He worried about Nicole enjoying the other man more than her own husband. He looked down at the other woman, what if she didn’t like him because she was used to someone else?

Her mouth on his cock is warm and wet but despite enjoying it he can feel that he wasn’t going to stay hard.

He moved on top of her and she rubbed his cock over her thigh. Mistaking it for an invitation he tilted his hips to slip inside her. With a small frown she pushed him away and asked him to don a condom. Then he sees the other husband donning a condom without any prompting. How could he have made that mistake? Of course they should use condoms. The other man passed him a condom; Daniel could feel his cock softening even more. He wondered if he would even get hard enough to put it on. All he wanted to do was put his clothes on and leave. Disappointment welled up. He had wanted this for so long and now his fantasy is not working out how he planned it at all.

The other woman took the condom from him and moved to place her mouth over him. Nothing about the way she moved showed that what was happening to him was weird. He felt a little better. In her mouth he feels himself getting hard again and relief floods through him. She manages to slide the condom over his cock, and he finds himself guiding his cock into the first woman he has fucked, other than his wife for years. He takes some time to enjoy the moment. Underneath him the woman twisted and turned enjoying his cock. His cock is still not as hard as he would like, and her movements push him out of her.

They tried again but the same thing happened. Daniel could see that she was getting frustrated. When he glanced over at Nicole she looked as sexy as hell, but her cries of pleasure frustrated him. He wanted to be that excited. He wanted the moment to take him over, but it wasn’t working for him. He knew he should feel happy for her but watching the other man with his huge cock bigger than his ever was fucking his wife made him feel sad and pathetic.

The other man groaned as he emptied himself inside Nicole who celebrated his pleasure with him by pressing her body against him as he came. Daniel moved over to Nicole and turned her over to fuck her doggy style, the sight of her full round butt turned upwards, inviting him in never failed to turn him on. As he slid inside her he asked her to suck the other man. It was intense watching his wife in a spitroast but still he was frustrated, still he couldn’t cum.

Then someone knocked on the door,

“Closing time,” a voice drifted through.

Now everyone was waiting for him to finish but he knew he couldn’t. The other couple move away from the bed and dress quietly.

“We will see you outside,” The smile and quietly leave.

TMI Tuesday – Life Questions

1 Who do you prefer to discuss politics with?

a) your partner, b) your best friend, c) co-workers, d) strangers, e) parents

Mr Jones has views about certain political issues which he likes to air to anyone who will listen. The kids and I have heard his ideas enough to know that arguing or trying to change the subject is impossible. On the whole though I am not particularly concerned about politics enough to talk about it with anyone at great length.

2. Which is more offensive to you: book burning or flag burning? Why?

I had a conversation about flags once that made me think about our disregard for them. During the conversation he explained how wearing the flag in clothing such as swimwear (which happens a lot in Australia) is not patriotic but disrespectful to the flag and the country because you are in effect sitting on your country’s national symbol! His words and his passion made me think twice about flags so I am going with flag. Unless you are talking about truly rare and deserving books.

3 Complete the sentence. Most of all I want to meet someone who deserves my ______:

a)trust, b)loyalty, c) admiration, d) love

I think I have people that fit each of those in different ways in all parts of my life. Mostly at the moment I am looking for someone who deserves the right to worship my pussy.

4. Which kind of fidelity (being faithful) is more important to you?

a) physical / sexual, b) mental / emotional, c) neither is important, d) both are equally important.

For Mr Jones and myself fidelity is linked closely with honesty. There must be complete disclosure about all things at all times. There is no judgement about WHAT is disclosed. Judgement comes when the disclosure is not made. I can’t really fit this with any of the options but b) is the closest because of the disclosure.

5. Would you avoid all contact with an ex if your current significant other asked you to?

a) yes of course!, b) No. This would be an unacceptable demand. c) Only if their justification seems reasonable.

I have been married to Mr Jones for 21 years. Any exes have faded into the past. Generally any lovers that I have also have faded as lovers once the sexy times end. There are one or two exceptions but these people are no longer lovers just friends so I am not sure where they sit. However he has the power to veto any person I see sexually and I would comply because my marriage is the most important partnership in my life. So if he asked I would say yes.

Bonus: If you were to die, the person going through your belongings would be shocked to find.

Probably the contents of my laptop. Maybe. It is unlikely that either of my children would be brave enough to poke through that. Mr Jones has read most of it and seen most of the images. Any of my other relatives (parents etc) would definitely find the things I write about confronting.

This post is part of TMI Tuesday for this week. If you enjoyed my revelations feel free to click on the image below and see who else is confessing.

Social Overload

Mr Jones and I have been “In the Lifestyle” for about ten years. Initially we started out exploring together and our rules, such as they were, stated that we played together and only with other couples.

Early in our journey we met a few couples who we went on to become good friends with some of the couples we met. We hung out with them as regular friends attending some family events, camping together and sharing meals etc. We did fall into a group or a couple of groups who held parties regularly and we attended some parties that were like the fantasy stories that people read about.

Over time we became more relaxed about our ‘rules’ and our relationship evolved into the more Open Marriage that I described in last week’s TMI Tuesday post. Other changes in our lives including me beginning my Teaching career and a decline in my mental health has meant that we grew away from the traditional swinging lifestlye. We pursued our own partners or visited clubs to pick up people for sex. Sometimes we interacted with couples but the interaction was limited and often frustrating as it is difficult to find a couple where all four members are happy and comfortable with each other.

Last year I was included by a long term friend in a group that organises weekends away for like minded people. I decided it might be fun to dip our toes in that water again so I signed Mr Jones and myself up for a weekend at a large holiday house with four or five other couples.

In terms of fucking the weekend was relatively tame. In terms of getting naked or semi-naked, making innuendoes and playing sexy games we were fairly out there. In terms of drinking, it was next level.

The wash up from the weekend is that Mr Jones and I have found ourselves back on the social merry-go-round of the South East Queensland swing scene. One of the royal couples of this scene has taken us into their ‘bubble’ and we now find ourselves drinking and socialising much more than we have in quite a long time. It has been a journey and an awakening. It is exhausting.

I have been diagnosed with garden variety depression and been medicated for this for quite some time. I believe that it is mostly hormonal and a result of menopause, or so I thought. I have always avoided the idea that I had anxiety but I definitely find interacting with large groups of unfamiliar people difficult and very, very tiring. Add that to forcing my body to digest significant amounts of alcohol more regularly than I have in about twenty years and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Last night we attended a birthday party for one of our new friends. It was fun, they had employed a fantastic musician and we met some nice people. But during the course of the evening there was discussion about upcoming events following Christmas and New Year. The birthday girl announced that she had no free weekends until 21 Feb!!!! My brain hurts thinking about that much socialising.

Of course they are encouraging us to come along to some of those events but we find ourselves hesitating. We are enjoying the new set of friends. We are having fun but such a radical change in such a short amount of time is hard to deal with. I need some time to adjust. I also think we are not going to be the people who are at everything. I just don’t think I can cope with dealing with that many people so regularly.

And so over the next month we are going to be adjusting and evaluating. Hopefully we will be able to strike a balance that works for everyone.