Other People’s Relationships

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

We had lunch yesterday with Mr and Mrs Bubble. Both are long term swingers. Both are currently dating other people outside their primary relationship. Mr Bubble is very much a go with the flow person. Drama, ultimatums and other turbulence are not his style. His other is a perfectly lovely woman. Wise, kind, down to earth, honest and someone I would welcome into my marriage dynamic.

Mrs Bubble is a completely different kettle of fish. She loves to socialise and be the life of the party. She is also wise kind and a great person to be friends with. In the past she had a relationship with a man that was a spectacular failure. It almost cost her her marriage to Mr Bubble and it did cost her a lot of emotional turmoil. After a recovery period she has met and is very much enjoying another young man. Most of the initial honey moon phase happened while we were away. She told me about him via message and it all seemed peachy. As we re-inserted ourselves into blue pill world and re-connected with friends and acquaintances we heard mutterings and disquiet about this relationship. Many of Mrs Bubble’s friends were concerned about this relationship, how besotted Mrs Bubble was, how young he was and just where it was going. I met the new boy a couple of times. He has said about five words to me and we have had the most superficial of interactions. I can see how she finds him visually attractive. The jury is out on his personality.

Recent conversations with Mr and Mrs Bubble have revealed that the new boy is, in fact in a live in relationship with another woman who until about a week ago didn’t really understand the nature of her boyfriend’s relationship with Mrs Bubble. Both The Bubbles are quite critical of this relationship. In their opinion she acts in a completely unreasonable way. There are fits of yelling, isolation by the silent treatment and she isolates him when they do socialise together by speaking her native language with her friends. English is a language she is still learning and he definitely does not speak hers. Despite this The Bubbles admit they have only heard one version of events.

It would be easy to judge in this situation. Easy to judge the girlfriend for being a screaming, unreasonable, demanding woman. Her behaviour is definitely something most westerners would not tolerate; but we need to stop and  consider what we do know about her. She has been wronged. She is living in a country with a very different culture from the one she grew up in, trying to learn a different language and set of behaviours that must seem quite foreign. The relationship with The New Boy is key to her staying in Australia. Without it she goes home. Home to what? As I said to Mr Jones there must be a reason that so many women from SE Asia put themselves into bad relationships, rely on men who exploit them and behave in the only way they know to control a relationship to avoid going back. I don’t think white middle class Australians understand that.

We could judge Mrs Bubble for getting involved with him in the first place. I, personally, would have put the skids on the whole deal when I learned he was sneaking around behind his girlfriend’s back. My personal feelings on this kind of situation are a little unconventional and go like this. He is making the choices. Any wrongdoing is on him. But I am not up for getting abusive phone calls or messages from a jealous, outraged wife / girlfriend. But Mrs Bubble is not me. Her position is that she isn’t doing anything wrong. And she ISN’T. She ISN’T the reason that his relationship is failing. She is a symptom of that. She isn’t lying to anyone. She is also making sure that The New Boy does have a basic level of respect for his girlfriend and at least gives communication to reassure her about his safety. 

Finally, we could judge The New Boy. He is the one doing the cheating. He is the one with the power to walk away from the toxic relationship. But again there are mitigating circumstances. It is a big responsibility to know that if you end this the other person may have to go back to their country of origin, to a life that they clearly will go to great lengths to escape. In addition, this Covid affected world has created a housing issue in Australia. Many people have come back to Australia from overseas to ride out the pandemic in the relative safety of a country that has isolated itself from the rest of the world. Housing occupancy is ridiculously high. Meaning renters struggle to find, let alone afford, a place. The New Boy is young and works in hospitality, an industry that has suffered. He can’t afford to rent an apartment by himself.

All of these things make this situation one complicated mess. It is easy to take one or the other person’s side. It would be easy to judge one or two or all of the parties involved. Many people have aligned themselves with a particular person thinking that would make them a good friend. It may, to a certain extent. There have been times when this topic has come up in conversation that I have had to stop myself from spouting my opinion. From forcing my way of thinking into someone’s ideas. I have also had to be very aware of Mr Jones. He has less self control than me and says offensive stuff all the time. It comes from a place of love and honesty but someone who struggles to give correct names to stuff cannot express themselves accurately about something this complex and is guaranteed to say something he will regret. I have repeated the phrase, “Other people’s relationships are other people’s business” quite a few times. He knows what this means – “Don’t discuss this here, it isn’t your place to offer an opinion about someone behind their back. Besides you DON’T know everything about it.”

 I introduced a new term to him yesterday, “Loose lips sink ships,”. The Bubbles are influential in our little world. They know a lot of people which is why we find ourselves in conversations about this topic almost everywhere we go. Some of what we have been told by The Bubbles themselves I don’t think is common knowledge. Putting our knowledge into the common domain will only serve to muddy the waters further. Discussing this topic everywhere we go only creates more interest and judgement. Besides, gossiping will not solve anything. It won’t create an epiphany of realisation on one of the parties involved part. It will just create negativity, feelings of self righteousness and ultimately isolate some beautiful warm people.

Sitting at lunch listening to The Bubbles talk about their feelings and ideas I found myself wondering what is the right thing to do here. I didn’t think they wanted advice. I KNOW they probably are getting it in spades from other people. I don’t feel that my opinion would add any value. But I didn’t want to sit there looking empty headed and acting like a gossip sponge soaking up all the information to spread it around later. In the past I don’t think I would have been so self aware and I possibly WOULD have soaked up the gossip to repeat it at the earliest opportunity. but I believe that one has to act in the way one would like to be treated. In my professional world, gossip about my after dark activities could be disastrous. I go to great lengths to keep those two worlds apart but sometimes there is a little bleed over. Sometimes I say stuff that is completely unconscious that makes people wonder. Especially people who possibly also walk in this world. It would be amusing to find out how many people in my school actually do. I know of one for certain and have suspicions about a couple more. 

But I digress. I guess after all this rambling I don’t have a major world changing closing statement. What I do have are the two statements I have told Mr Jones. “Other people’s relationships are their own business”. We will never know all the ins and outs of a situation. We almost never get to hear both (?) sides of a story and we never see all the events unfold. The second is “Loose lips sink ships” Gossip never did anyone any good. In fact it usually ends up causing havoc. To that end one should never feed it. 

Wicked Wednesday

Thirty Dirty Questions – Question 9

If you were to “recreate” the early days of your favourite sexy relationship, what would they look like? Would you change anything?

Both Mike from Marriage, Sex and More and Rebel from Rebel’s Notes commented to me that they found Question 8 challenging. I must admit that I felt the same way, but I was more challenged by this question. When I reflected about my potential answers, I realised that my favourite sexy relationship is often the most recent. I think it is human nature to want what you cannot have rather than appreciate what is easily available. And so, when a sexual partner becomes unavailable the amount of pleasure you remember having with them is increased.

This was definitely the case with Pet. For a long time after he departed from my life, I was always looking back at what we had and hoping to find someone equal to him. While we did some amazing stuff, and I had a very enjoyable time over quite a long period if I was honest there were times that were not perfect. Particularly towards the end of our time together I knew it was winding down and becoming routine. I remember thinking after one encounter that our relationship was reaching the end of its shelf life. Yet when he pulled the pin unexpectedly with no explanation it was suddenly the best sexy relationship ever had.

Pet loved wearing my knickers and I loved seeing him in them.

The same sort of thing happened with JB. I absolutely loved being part of his awakening and giving him the opportunity to experience things he had only fantasised about for so long. He was a very caring and generous lover. But again, after a time I knew my attention was going to wane and again he withdrew unexpectedly and suddenly, and I was left feeling like I had been deprived.

As time goes by and new people enter your life the old people who have departed fade into the background. The same applies with sexual relationships. The best sex is the sex you are having now with the person you are with. For me anyway. I know that there is bad sex and I have had plenty of that but somehow, I still feel that connection with the last lover as if they are the best. From a biological point of view, I can understand there is probably some body chemistry that makes you feel this way. It is nature’s way of tricking you into staying with your mate long enough to raise the offspring you are creating.

So, what does all this have to do with the question? Everything and nothing. I guess the short answer is that I don’t have an exact favourite or, rather, they are all favourites. Would I change any of them? Probably not. They have all been experiences and that is what this lifestyle is about for me.

TMI Tuesday the Fantasy Edition

1. Does your sex life need some fantasy? What kind of fantasy?

Tonight I feel as if I have been living a fantasy for the last few days. I am not exactly all sexed OUT but I am certainly sexed UP. Thank you Second Mate and Mr Jones. You have been awesome.

2. What is eroticism for you?

Many things. It can be a look. It can be the words whispered in your ear and sometimes it is laughing because your husband is struggling to video you peeing over the side of the boat.

3. You are invited to a kink party, will you go?

Erm yes!! I would be offended if I wasn’t invited.

4. Your lover has tied your naked body down. What do you want to happen next?
a. You get tickled mercilessly
b. You are covered in whip cream and people lick the cream entirely from your naked body
c. Bind, blind, and tease your erogenous zones with an ice cube, feather, candle wax, tongue, etc.
d. A sex toy is used to penetrate you to orgasm

I am going with C. Although I am not sure about the ice cube. Although in the last few days D has been more my experience.

5. In your sex life, do you go along with whatever your partner wants and needs or when necessary do you handle things to make sure you have thrilling sex?

I am a lot more compliant and tend to go along with what my partner suggests most of the time. It has led to some very exciting experiences.

Bonus: When is the last time you purchased a sex toy? What did you buy? Was it purchased online or at a store?

I purchased a small massager just before we left on our voyage. Like all my sex toys I purchase online. Unless you count the rope I purchased at Bunnings in Cairns!!

Imbalance in Internet Dating

As a person in an open relationship who is actively seeking partners I spend a lot of time dating. I don’t mean the awkward dinners that are portrayed on “First Dates”. I am talking about the internet style hook – up type dating. I use a website that is specifically for swingers and I avoid mainstream dating websites like Tinder. My main reasoning for that is to protect my privacy and avoid being outed by someone in my professional life. There is a part of me that is curious to see what would happen if I set up a Tinder account but I am not brave enough yet.

The thing with any dating app whether the user is seeking a soulmate or a one night stand it seems that there is a surplus of males and a seemingly tiny number of receptive females. I hear stories from men about meeting women who get inundated with hundreds of messages. So many that it is impossible for them to reply. That has not been my experience. I am almost fifty, I am married and state clearly I am looking for a man who is comfortable being naked in front of my husband. That in itself seems to weed out a lot.

Despite that I do get attention. I could never hope to meet every man that messages me even those that might be attractive to me or interested in similar activities. If I did meet every man that is attractive and interested I would never get out of bed. I have to narrow the field somehow. I have to make some choices and let others fall by the wayside. I can make arbitrary rules like “If you don’t have a picture in your bio” or “If your initial message is full of Text speak like HowRU” then you don’t make the cut. But I still have to talk to a lot of men who are never going to get in my panties, so to speak.

I have posted before about disappointments. About spending the time talking, exchanging pics, building up some attraction and tension, arranging to meet and then…. Crickets. It is at these times I wonder about my selection process. Should I change my criteria? Am I looking in the wrong place? Is there something I missed? Sometimes I nod in recognition of something that did raise itself but I ignored because he looked hot / I was busy / I was horny etc. Sometimes I am mystified. Sometimes it is the universe saving me from myself. Sometimes I meet some amazing people, like Johnny.

Of late I am with Mr Jones 24 / 7. He sees everything I do which is something he didn’t at home. He doesn’t have a problem with it but I think it has been a bit of an eye opener for him. We have had more open conversations about what each other is wanting / needing. It has been a time of growth for both of us. He has a better understanding of some of my frustrations and the process of making things happen. A lot of times with our lifestyle we discuss an idea and then it happens with little legwork from him. He very rarely puts in the work of building a connection and discussing possibilities with anyone except me.

For me I have a better grip on what he wants but also on how he feels about what I do. The monogamy habit still overshadows things for me sometimes. There is often a lurking fear that I will hurt Mr Jones or damage our relationship. Spending this time with him and discussing different scenarios has helped me to see that he is truly fine with most things as long as he is confident that I am taking him into consideration. I am “allowed” to be slutty and impulsive and have sex with someone I ran into without protracted negotiation and consent from him. He likes the idea of something like that happening and finding out about it later. It is something I am getting used to. I am not quite ready to do something like that but I guess the time will come.

Like everything in this life things are constantly evolving and changing. There are things that we do now that we would not have done even two years ago. I have no doubt there will be other things that we will add to our repertoire over time and still others that will be struck off the list. It is all a question of balance really.

Image by Neel Shakilov from Pixabay

This post was written for Wicked Wednesday prompt #472 “Balance” to see who else is sharing click the button below.

Wicked Wednesday

Relaxing In To It

As I write this I am still wondering at the concept that we have only been on this journey for a week. It almost feels like we have been doing this always. In the weeks leading up to our departure I worried about missing my pets. One week in and I was scrolling through photos on my phone and I saw a picture of my bird. I was like “yes, I remember him”.

Part of the reason I think I am feeling this way is the weekend we just spent with some good friends who travelled to meet us where we are staying for a little while. For two days clothing was optional, alcohol was consumed when and as much or as little as desired, and there was no guard on what we said or did. It wasn’t an orgy but that didn’t matter. We were free.

I had a moment of realisation at one point that for the next 20 weeks I will not have to guard the division between Gemma and Mrs Jones as carefully. For this time instead of 80% Mrs Jones and 20% Gemma I will be 80% Gemma and 20% Mrs Jones. Worrying what the neighbours think will be a secondary issue.

Being in a space where you are yourself and there is no judgement is very liberating. It is something that can be difficult to achieve. It is also something that can be hard to accept. For too long most of us have to be careful of what we say and do. Especially those of us who like to do things other people consider to be morally questionable. For us finding a place where we can be in the bubble of complete acceptance is rare.

I find myself frequently telling people I am the most fortunate person. Currently I am living the dream. Many people that I speak to are envious of our opportunity. They wish they could be like us; on this journey. I am acutely aware of how privileged I am. How fortunate I am that I can afford to buy this yacht, how fortunate I am that I can afford to take this much leave from work, how fortunate I am that I can leave my children to fend for themselves for this time. The list goes on and on. This weekend added another element to my good fortune.

I am living in a marriage with a person who gets great joy from seeing me be sexually fulfilled. Not only that, I have friends who think the same way and accept me for me. In fact, if they are to be believed they actually think I am cool and sexy. A goddess if you please. If there was a utopia I believe I went there last weekend. The comedown was not as harsh as it could have been. Although I feel that for our friends it may have been a little worse because they all had to return to work on Monday. I merely took my yacht a little further up the coast to find another idyllic beach….

This post is part of this week’s Wicked Wednesday. To see who else is being wicked click on the button below.

Wicked Wednesday

Hello Thirty Dirty Questions

A while ago I stumbled across Bridgit Delaney’s Erotic Journal Challenge for November 2020. The concept of answering thirty questions about sex, which is not dirty, appealed to me. If I had been aware of the challenge at the time I would have liked to participate. I hope she doesn’t mind that I am using the questions now. If you want to read her answers to the questions the links are still live on her page.

I am not going to promise an answer every day. Maybe one or two per week. The next six weeks promise to be intense for me as I prepare for our departure on our voyage of a lifetime. In the back of my mind is also the Ryan and Carmen series that I started. I am at a bit of a roadblock with them and I do ponder what is going to happen next frequently but have issues focusing on getting words on a page.

In the meantime you can read the answer to the first question;

How do you define “awesome” sex? (i.e what makes sex better than good)

There are some people who think that any sex is good sex. I disagree. Over the course of my life, I have had the full range from sex that leaves you with a smile on your face that lasts for days to sex that leaves you feeling like someone used you as a cum bucket while stealing a piece of your soul.

The last, fortunately, has not happened for a long time but those kinds of experiences leave scars. Like most people, for me sex is usually middle of the road to good. Orgasms are amazing for releasing stress and general wellbeing. If they happen with the help of another person that makes them all the better. But sex that is next level requires more than an orgasm or two.

For sex to be truly awesome there first needs to be a connection. Some spark between two (or more) people. I cannot define or predict that spark, but I absolutely know when it happens. There is an inkling when you meet the person face to face and then there is this moment when you touch. Usually, it is fingertips on a thigh or a gentle stroke on an arm. Something small and subtle that tells you that there is. Going. To. Be. Fireworks.

The next phase is often jumbled and never plays out the same way but there is kissing, there is groping and hands inside clothing. My nipples are amazing barometers of how good things will be. If I am into him, he can squeeze them and take them into his mouth, even use his teeth gently and I will almost climax. If I am not, then nothing will happen. It will feel irritating.

There is always sucking of cock for me. It is something I live for. To hold him in my mouth and look up to see the pleasure on his face. There is nothing in the world that matches the feeling of truly admiring a beautiful cock. In the words of Cardi B

I don’t wanna spit, I wanna gulp,

I wanna gag, I wanna choke

I want you to touch the lil’dangly thing

That swing in the back of my throat

My second favourite thing is fucking. He needs to fill me, wrap his body around me. There needs to be moments when I am so lost in the feeling of him, I cannot control myself. The room needs to be full of the sound of me enjoying myself.

But the thing that truly defines awesome sex is when he puts his face between my legs. I cannot define the technique that works. I can say that there are some men who are gifted and many who are not. I am greedy, I am selfish at times. I WANT to be pleasured. I want to be eaten. I want a tongue all over me. Some of the sexiest memories are of a man’s face between my thighs, eating me greedily until I cannot wait to get his cock inside me.

In truly memorable sessions there is not the standard progression from fondling to oral to fucking. There is meandering between all three, backwards and forwards until both of us are spent and unable to move. If it has been completely awesome, I will go back again and again. I am like Augustus Gloop with sex. A complete glutton. There will never be enough.

Which is hard to find. And worth holding on to when it happens.

This post is part of this week’s MMMonday roundup. Click here to see who else is saying MMM.

Fantasy vs Reality Pt 2 – The Reality

For this week’s Wicked Wednesday I posted a man’s swing fantasy. In the original post the challenge was to post the fantasy and the reality. This is the second part of the post – the reality.

They could hear the faint bass of the music through the glass door as they stepped up to the entrance to the club. As he placed his hand on the door handle, he glanced over at Nicole. Finally, they were here. Tonight was the night that the fantasy that filled his mind every time he touched himself would become a reality.

“Ready?” he asked, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach.

She squeezed his hand and smiled, just as nervous as he was.

“Let’s do it.”

They stepped through the door together. Daniel wasn’t sure what he expected but when he was completely honest, he was a little disappointed. The inside of the club was very similar to other nightclubs except there were far fewer people. Patrons stood chatting at the bar and the small tables scattered around. In one corner a dance floor with two poles was mostly empty. Like himself and Nicole most of the patrons wore normal street clothes, just a little bit shorter and some of them with more revealing necklines.

He didn’t know what he really expected but he was certainly disappointed at the lack sexiness of the whole scene. There were no pornographic images on the wall. No naked or semi naked people anywhere to be seen or even people making out. It all seemed so boring.

The managers of the club showed them around, explained the rules about not touching without an invitation, not entering a closed room and where to put the towels after they used them. At the end of the tour Daniel and Nicole were introduced to a few of the regular people and they found themselves chatting to an older couple. The conversation was about regular things mostly. Occasionally the couple would ask a question about how long they had been together and what they were wanting out of tonight but they didn’t know how to answer. It was all so awkward. Daniel’s fantasy seemed further away than ever. It seemed straightforward at home in their bedroom but now they were really here and really doing it suddenly it seemed a little more complex. He looked over at an adjoining table, two couples were flirting and chatting with each other. How does that happen? he wondered.

Time passed, the other couple seemed attractive enough but he wasn’t sure of the protocol. They seemed a little hesitant. Maybe they weren’t interested. Then seemingly out of the blue the woman asked,

“Do you guys want to get a room?”

He looked over at Nicole. She nodded,

“Why not?” She replied with a smile.

Relief washed through Daniel, followed by a sudden rush of nerves. It was really going to happen now. Really.

Once inside the room things happened quickly. The couple undressed, quickly and efficiently. Daniel felt like a klutz shrugging out of his clothes. The four of them lay on the bed together and looked at each other. The other couple seemed to be waiting for some kind of cue.

“So what kinds of things are you guys interested in?” The woman asked.

Nicole shrugged, “We don’t have any expectations,” she replied. “Whatever comes along I guess,”

The women started kissing. Daniel watched, feeling his cock stiffening. This was one of the things he knew she wanted. It was one of the things he wanted as well. The sight of their two soft bodies pressing together was incredibly sexy, so much more arousing in real life than watching two women in a porno.

Just as he was getting into what was happening between the women the other woman broke away from Nicole,

“I don’t like the guys to feel left out,” she smiles up at him as she snuggled against him. It felt odd, the first woman he had been naked with except for Nicole for seven years. The feel of the unfamiliar skin excited him. He bent down and kissed her, slowly at first before her mouth opened and he probed her with his tongue. Over her shoulder he could see Nicole kissing the other man. Daniel was torn between exploring the woman curled up against him and watching his wife with another man. His new partner broke out of the kiss and wiggled her way down the bed. As he kneeled above her, watching his wife being pleasured by another man she began licking the tip of his cock.

Her tongue swirled around his foreskin before she took him deeper and deeper into her mouth. Daniel looked down at her head as she sucked and then over at Nicole who was lying back on the second bed with the other man’s face buried between her thighs. The whole scene was surreal and intensely exciting, but he worried about a million things.

His head filled with doubts, would he be big enough, would he do this right is he big enough? The other man’s penis seemed enormous to him. Suddenly he felt completely inadequate. He worried about Nicole enjoying the other man more than her own husband. He looked down at the other woman, what if she didn’t like him because she was used to someone else?

Her mouth on his cock is warm and wet but despite enjoying it he can feel that he wasn’t going to stay hard.

He moved on top of her and she rubbed his cock over her thigh. Mistaking it for an invitation he tilted his hips to slip inside her. With a small frown she pushed him away and asked him to don a condom. Then he sees the other husband donning a condom without any prompting. How could he have made that mistake? Of course they should use condoms. The other man passed him a condom; Daniel could feel his cock softening even more. He wondered if he would even get hard enough to put it on. All he wanted to do was put his clothes on and leave. Disappointment welled up. He had wanted this for so long and now his fantasy is not working out how he planned it at all.

The other woman took the condom from him and moved to place her mouth over him. Nothing about the way she moved showed that what was happening to him was weird. He felt a little better. In her mouth he feels himself getting hard again and relief floods through him. She manages to slide the condom over his cock, and he finds himself guiding his cock into the first woman he has fucked, other than his wife for years. He takes some time to enjoy the moment. Underneath him the woman twisted and turned enjoying his cock. His cock is still not as hard as he would like, and her movements push him out of her.

They tried again but the same thing happened. Daniel could see that she was getting frustrated. When he glanced over at Nicole she looked as sexy as hell, but her cries of pleasure frustrated him. He wanted to be that excited. He wanted the moment to take him over, but it wasn’t working for him. He knew he should feel happy for her but watching the other man with his huge cock bigger than his ever was fucking his wife made him feel sad and pathetic.

The other man groaned as he emptied himself inside Nicole who celebrated his pleasure with him by pressing her body against him as he came. Daniel moved over to Nicole and turned her over to fuck her doggy style, the sight of her full round butt turned upwards, inviting him in never failed to turn him on. As he slid inside her he asked her to suck the other man. It was intense watching his wife in a spitroast but still he was frustrated, still he couldn’t cum.

Then someone knocked on the door,

“Closing time,” a voice drifted through.

Now everyone was waiting for him to finish but he knew he couldn’t. The other couple move away from the bed and dress quietly.

“We will see you outside,” The smile and quietly leave.

Image result for bad sex

Young Boys

Young boys are my weakness

I just like their sweetness

You know when something is wrong but then it tempts you and you start to wonder. Young boys are like that for me. The awkwardness and the earnestness of them. The way their bodies are pounding with hormones but they have no idea how to handle it. The way they are fascinated with women but they have no idea what to do with them. It is just so fucking sexy sometimes.

Hey boys let’s mess around

I wanna party with you on the town

My job (and the law) precludes me interacting with a boy that is truly young and innocent in that way. Once they get a bit older they have had some experience and then they become a bit arrogant. Or their awkwardness makes them just a little bit sad. I have avoided these boys because I didn’t want to spend my play time giving instructions.

Some boys really make me swing

There ain’t nothin’ like a pretty young thing

In the back to school catch ups with work colleagues I chatted with my work son. (A pretty young thing) about his new girlfriend. He told me that he had taken her virginity, a responsibility he took very seriously I am pleased to say. His feelings about her lack of experience were mixed. Mostly he didn’t like the idea of being with someone who had no idea. Until he realised he could mould the way she gave head.

His words made me rethink some of my ideas about younger boys.

Then I wrote some more of the series I am currently working on. During my research I looked up a Wiki fan page about Stiffler’s Mom. That made me rethink some of my ideas about younger boys

Young boys are really mellow

You don’t believe me? Then just try this fellow.

I think I am almost in the right mindset to be Stiffler’s Mom. To be that woman that is the center of a younger man’s fantasy. To shape him and to enjoy that hard young body.

This post is part of MMMMonday. Click on the image below to see who else is saying MMM

2020 The Year of Corona

Trending: Corona beer memes and that it is willing to pay $15 Million to  change the name of Coronavirus - Times of India

Many times during this year I have felt as if I were watching this pandemic from afar. The number of cases in my country are many times smaller than even the death tolls in a lot of countries around the world. The numbers of cases are so small here that the media goes into a frenzy if a cluster reaches double digits.

During May we did have lockdowns and restrictions but honestly, compared to case numbers in the Northern Hemisphere I wonder if they were necessary. The five or so weeks we spent online schooling was seems completely unnecessary when looking back.

Or were they?

Are our low numbers because we were so extreme so early? Or are they simply a result of our isolation? Could we have achieved the same results by simply closing our boarders and not letting anyone else in? We will never know.

Effects of Corona aside, something that did happen this year for Mr. Jones and myself was a reconnection with the swinging community. This was, ironically, an indirect result of Corona virus. We attended a weekend for swinging couples back in September and consequently found ourselves thrust into the whirlwind social life that is the swinging lifestyle. You can read some of my thoughts about this turn of events here.

We had drifted away from this ‘scene’ for a few reasons, my job as a teacher, my mental health, some bad experiences with couples and just the general meanderings of life. Swingers are, for the most part, very social beings. We get excited about meeting people who think like us and the bonus is every now and then we get to be sexy which is a whole lot of fun. Now that we seem to have connected with an extreme example of the socialising side of things our lives look very different.

I started 2020 with a determination to be more social. I had resolved to attend Work Social Club events and generally put my face into as many social things as I could. A look at my calendar showed me that I definitely needed to get out more and I knew, on a very visceral level that I definitely needed to people my world with some supportive people.

Then Corona happened. Ironic really. Not being allowed to visit with friends I didn’t have didn’t affect me that much. But I did kind of feel a bit weird to not be allowed to socialise in the year I had resolved to do so.

I have never been good at making and keeping friends. During primary school I was homeschooled and lived in a relatively isolated situation. The only regular playmates I had were my younger brothers. The school playground lessons in making friends and understanding social cues were unavailable to me. Entering high school saw a complete 180 degree turn, I went from rarely seeing girls my own age to living with about seventy of them 24/7! It wasn’t easy. So being thrust back into a social whirlwind is hard. I want to have close friends but somehow I just never seem to say the right thing and I end up withdrawing. 

Dealing with a lot of people in a large group is stressful. One of our ‘new’ friends talks a lot about a trip of a lifetime she enjoyed with her husband. They toured Europe and visited a lot of very crowded places which she absolutely loved! I personally couldn’t think of anything worse! Give me a beach or some remote place, no more than ten people and a campfire with some quiet conversation and I am happy. 

So what does 2021 bring for social Gemma? We are continuing to ease ourselves back into swinging and partying. I will no doubt find myself in any number of difficult situations, dealing with new people and having to make small talk courtesy of my new friend. I will have a good time most of the time, I am sure. I am also sure that my liver will take a beating. 

The other big thing on our horizon is our six month sailing adventure. Sailors are like swingers. Well, actually I think some of them ARE swingers. Time will tell. Whatever their sexual orientation, they are also very social and tend to drink a lot. My liver is going to age, a lot. 

So here’s to socialising, making friends and hopefully restoring my tribe.  

Why Do We Clink Glasses And Say "Cheers"? Farmers' Almanac

This post is part of this week’s Wicked Wednesday #448 Looking Back on 2020. To see who else is being wicked click here or on the image below.

Social Overload

Mr Jones and I have been “In the Lifestyle” for about ten years. Initially we started out exploring together and our rules, such as they were, stated that we played together and only with other couples.

Early in our journey we met a few couples who we went on to become good friends with some of the couples we met. We hung out with them as regular friends attending some family events, camping together and sharing meals etc. We did fall into a group or a couple of groups who held parties regularly and we attended some parties that were like the fantasy stories that people read about.

Over time we became more relaxed about our ‘rules’ and our relationship evolved into the more Open Marriage that I described in last week’s TMI Tuesday post. Other changes in our lives including me beginning my Teaching career and a decline in my mental health has meant that we grew away from the traditional swinging lifestlye. We pursued our own partners or visited clubs to pick up people for sex. Sometimes we interacted with couples but the interaction was limited and often frustrating as it is difficult to find a couple where all four members are happy and comfortable with each other.

Last year I was included by a long term friend in a group that organises weekends away for like minded people. I decided it might be fun to dip our toes in that water again so I signed Mr Jones and myself up for a weekend at a large holiday house with four or five other couples.

In terms of fucking the weekend was relatively tame. In terms of getting naked or semi-naked, making innuendoes and playing sexy games we were fairly out there. In terms of drinking, it was next level.

The wash up from the weekend is that Mr Jones and I have found ourselves back on the social merry-go-round of the South East Queensland swing scene. One of the royal couples of this scene has taken us into their ‘bubble’ and we now find ourselves drinking and socialising much more than we have in quite a long time. It has been a journey and an awakening. It is exhausting.

I have been diagnosed with garden variety depression and been medicated for this for quite some time. I believe that it is mostly hormonal and a result of menopause, or so I thought. I have always avoided the idea that I had anxiety but I definitely find interacting with large groups of unfamiliar people difficult and very, very tiring. Add that to forcing my body to digest significant amounts of alcohol more regularly than I have in about twenty years and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Last night we attended a birthday party for one of our new friends. It was fun, they had employed a fantastic musician and we met some nice people. But during the course of the evening there was discussion about upcoming events following Christmas and New Year. The birthday girl announced that she had no free weekends until 21 Feb!!!! My brain hurts thinking about that much socialising.

Of course they are encouraging us to come along to some of those events but we find ourselves hesitating. We are enjoying the new set of friends. We are having fun but such a radical change in such a short amount of time is hard to deal with. I need some time to adjust. I also think we are not going to be the people who are at everything. I just don’t think I can cope with dealing with that many people so regularly.

And so over the next month we are going to be adjusting and evaluating. Hopefully we will be able to strike a balance that works for everyone.