TMI Tuesday – Socially Distant Edition #3

I wrote the initial responses to the questions after an 11 hour work day. Teaching right now is very very challenging. I have not worked on preparing lessons so much since I was a first year teacher. Being older and wiser means I am even more conscious of the quality of my teaching. That just makes me push harder and, well, let’s just say I am tired.

Wisely I decided to review this after some sleep before I posted. So I will keep the original answers and add some “morning after” notes.

1. So, what’s your typical work uniform if you are working from home?

I wish I was working from home! Right now I would love to be home all day,

in my pyjamas,

eating chocolate.

At the time when I wrote this I was in my pyjamas eating chocolate. It was a great way to be. But honestly I have face to face time with my students every lesson so pyjamas is probably not a good idea.

2. Are you eating more _____ under coronavirus lock-down or self-quarantine? (choose all that apply)
a. prepared foods
b. fresh produce
c. frozen food (veggies, entrees, pizzas, etc.)
d. snacks foods (cookies, cakes, ice cream, chips, crackers, candy, etc.)
d. homemade soups, stews, casseroles
e. I’m just eating more…everything.

As I have kind of explained in my Food 4 Thought post last week I am not really in what the rest of the world knows as lockdown.

Having said that we have just had two weeks of Easter holidays during which I ate a lot of: b. Fresh produce and d. Home made soups, stews and casseroles.

This was followed by two weeks of introduction to online teaching during which I have eaten a bunch of d. Snack foods in particular, chocolate and cookies.

Being kinder to myself I am eating a bit of chocolate at the moment but it is actually Easter remains. I am not actively buying extra. But in a week or so when the Easter chocolate is gone? Hopefully then we will be back to regular classes.

3. What are you planning to do?

Tonight; finish this blog and then go to bed.

Today conquer the education world with spectacularly designed lessons.

4. Picked up any new hobbies lately?

Not really. I have revisited an old hobby that I haven’t had a lot of time to work on though. During the recent Easter break I made my daughter a brand new dress.

I also have a pending dress that is made from the same fabric. I had a calculation error and bought wayyyyyy too much.

5. Would you rather be compelled to high five everyone you meet or be compelled to give wedgies to anyone in a green shirt?

I am going to go with high fives. No one should ever be subjected to wedgies.

Bonus: Would you rather live in virtual reality where you are all powerful or live in the real world and be able to go anywhere but not be able to interact with anyone or anything? A god in the machine or a ghost in the real world.

I am already a goddess! So I am going with the virtual option. At least I get to control my environment,

Bonus Bonus:

Someone told me this week they thought my butt was the eighth wonder of the world. So behold the eighth wonder of the world

This post is part of TMI Tuesday. For more weirdness, sexiness and just plain excellence. Check it out here

The Lockdown That Wasn’t

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When I was growing up a popular way that Australians liked to refer to their country was “The lucky country”. There are so many things about Australia that make it somewhere very special to live. Our climate, our freedom, the fact that we have never experienced wide-scale war or civil unrest and, more recently, we have one of the lowest rates of infection of Covid-19 in the world.

It hasn’t meant that we aren’t restricted in our movements. Where I am living public gatherings of more than two people are illegal, schools for the most part are closed, non-essential retailers are closed, gyms and many health related services are also closed. In the supermarkets there have been shortages of flour, meat, pasta, rice and of course toilet paper. For a short while a visit to the supermarket was a little crazy. The “Stay home and save lives” message is in full swing. According to our health experts it is working. We have had a significant reduction in active cases across the country. For almost two weeks our daily increase in cases has been at one percent or less.

With all of this happening the news is now full of interviews with psuedo experts (because of course the real experts are a tad busy doing actual science right now) speculating on when we will be allowed out again. This question is not just around when we will be allowed to go to the pub or to parties with friends. This is also about people being allowed to return to work. Many people are unemployed right now because so many businesses were forced to close. Our government seems to have created a money pit somewhere judging by the number of programs that have been announced, to give financial support to newly unemployed, businesses affected, people who can’t pay loans, the list goes on and on.

In the background of this is school closures. Australian schools close for two weeks around Easter so in the last month schools have been inactive as they would normally. About five weeks ago (two weeks before holidays started) when cases were on the rise, we were seeing horrific images from Italy and the UK there was a lot of panic and discussion about the safety of schools. I work in a high school. It is impossible to socially distance teenagers in the classroom and the playground. I don’t even want to consider how difficult it would be in a primary school. Public opinion was that schools are breeding grounds to spread disease. A lot of the time they are. First year teachers will tell you they get sicker in that first year of being in front of kids than they ever have in their life. Why? About half of it is probably because stress has weakened their immune system but the other half is because kids are festy. (For those of you unfamiliar with this term Urban dictionary comes to the rescue!)

So parents started taking their kids out of school. As the numbers of students at school dwindled other students begged to be allowed to stay home sensing the opportunity to extend their impending holidays. Then, bowing to union and public pressure our state government caved and closed schools. There was a week of frantic preparation for online delivery and two weeks of time which was designated as holiday time. I don’t think there is a teacher alive who didn’t spend at least half of that time in front of a computer struggling with unfamiliar technology trying to put together meaningful learning experiences. The image featured above is of a doodle I did during this time to remind myself that my life is much better than many others.

The week just passed has been the first official week of “remote learning”. For different schools this looks different. For my niece and nephews it is hard. They don’t live close to a major city, their internet in a word is shit!. Remote delivery of lessons for them is problematic. For many schools Microsoft One Note was the go to. In the words of our school IT manager “One Note needs about two weeks in iso!” It failed and caused much hair pulling and frustration.

For the students, their anticipated extended holiday turned out to be a failure. No trips to the beach, camping cancelled, no shopping centers open, nothing to do except sit at home with video games and social media. The first week of remote learning was frustrating for many, and while it was a break from routine it wasn’t a substitute for interaction with actual humans.

In my own little corner of the world we are relatively blessed. We have an IT manager who deserves a sainthood. We have parents who have stepped up in their support and positivity. There have been social media posts about us. Flowers, chocolates and cakes delivered to school for us. It has been nothing short of empowering. But it has been hard. We are meeting online with our students, via Microsoft Teams for every one of their scheduled lessons. We are planning classes and material as if we are in our regular timetable but instead of delivering the way we normally would we are delivering online. It requires a HUGE amount of planning. Simple tasks like marking a roll would normally take five minutes are now taking 10 – 15 minutes.

Now the talk has turned to students returning to school. Our federal government has indicated that all of their information shows regular school is safe for most healthy children. These children will not pose a risk to their teachers. With exceptions of course. Older teachers and those with health conditions need to be cautious and removed. Despite this there are some political undercurrents that do not bode well. Unions are flexing their muscle; and our union funded state government, that controls schooling, is at odds with the federal government who sits on the other side of the political fence. As is often the case with education, teachers and students are at the mercy of decisions made by people who have no vested interest in benefiting either party.

The original date for return to regular classes was May 20. Five weeks into the term. One week of this type of schooling has felt like about five for most of us. If there was an announcement that regular school was starting back up on Monday (two days from now) there would be very few teachers that I know who would be unhappy about it. Sadly I don’t think this will be the case.

For those of you reading this and living in other, more affected parts of the world, my thoughts are with you, stay safe and take care of your wellbeing. Most importantly take care of your mental health.

This post is part of Food 4 Thought #146 “Lockdown”. Please make the time to head over and read some other posts. 

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Food 4 Thought – Hopes and Dreams

Hopes and drea,s

 

I added my post to Food 4 Thought for the first time last week and I was so happy to be chosen by Floss for the Spotlight post. When I read the prompt for this week I was not sure if I would be able to contribute but below are my rambling thoughts.  

As I write this I am on the eve of starting online delivery of high school classes. It is something that I, along with many teachers, have worried about, spent copious amounts of time trying to prepare for and probably a similar amount of time debating about the political reasons for being thrust into this very uncomfortable space. Something many people don’t realize is that, in Australia at least, becoming qualified to be a teacher takes four years of university study. During those four years all of our training is based around being in front of our students. Suddenly in the space of a few weeks we have been asked to turn that upside down and implement this new way of delivery. Yes some of the principles are the same but for many of us, myself included, technology is unfamiliar and frightening. Yet here we are being forced to use some fairly new tech in ways that it probably wasn’t really designed to be used.

Consider also that most teachers, the good ones especially, don’t choose to teach because they are full of knowledge that they feel compelled to impart to the world. We teach because we love kids. We want to nurture a young person and facilitate their growth into the best version of themselves. In the process of making that happen we form relationships and genuine, deep attachments to our students. To be suddenly forced to only see and interact with them through a screen cuts our souls.

So on this eve of remote learning my hopes are that I can still do my job well. That I don’t lose those little sheep that sit quietly in class confused and unsure of how to ask for help. The ones that really can only be helped when someone sits with them and says “Let’s do this together” while the rest of the class gets on with it. They are the ones that will suffer because if you ask them directly they will say they are OK. Only when you sit and talk with them do you see that they aren’t. How does remote learning work for them?

My dreams are similar. My youngest child is in her final year of high school. For her this is supposed to be the year of last sporting carnivals, reflective retreats, formals (prom) and savoring time with friends among the chaos that is assessment and final exams. Much of this will be taken away from her, and many others. It is not as dramatic as losing your parent to Covid-19 and not being able to be there as they take their last breath. But it is sad nonetheless.

I have spent seventeen years raising a unicorn. I dream that this setback will not stop her from being as fabulous as she has the potential to be.

This post is part of Food 4 Thought Friday. You can read other posts by clicking on the image below.

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A Brave New World

A couple of weeks ago I blogged about frustrations with people’s (mostly my student’s) reactions to Covid-19. You can read about them here and here. Two weeks it seems is s long time in a world inhabited by Covid-19. Since then speculations about schools closing and lockdown have become somewhat of a reality.

Pubs and clubs are closed, gyms are closed, restaurants are closed, theatres are closed. Airports both domestic and international are running at about 20% of their capacity.. Schools are closed.

Yes schools are closed.

The teaching fraternity is currently scrambling around getting ready to deliver lessons online. After the Easter holidays finish in about two and a half weeks everyone in Australia will be effectively learning by distance education.

Some teachers are truly embracing this approach and are all over the technology we are using. For my school it is Microsoft Teams and other Microsoft products such as Power Point and One Note. Some teachers are learning this week for the first time what these platforms look like.

Students were sent home last Friday, a week earlier than scheduled to give us time time do this learning. I feel like I have re-learned how to teach in the space of about a week. No small feat. For anyone.

Consequently my blogging brain is closed for business. The capacity is taken up by working out how to do what I do every day in person as Mrs Jones in a virtual environment. It is hard. I was end of term tired before this happened.

So I apologise for the very un-sexy post. But I hope that sexy content you are used to seeing and reading will be back very soon.

In the meantime here is a quick selfie I took yesterday.

This Teacher Life

Earlier in the week I posted about my frustration with Corona Virus. It was not so much  a comment about the virus itself but more groan of frustration with the way that people around me are reacting.

In case you haven’t read me before I am a teacher of teenagers. I teach Mathematics and Science to students aged between 13 and 18. I seem to have a way with students who find Mathematics difficult and who have disengaged from Maths learning due to continual failure, usually as a result of poor teaching to begin with but we won’t go in to that!!!. Consequently those are the classes I get assigned.

Teenagers love drama. My students, who aren’t really motivated to engage in learning, are particularly fond of it basically because it is the only reason they come to school. So after a day of dealing with constant questions about “When is school getting shut down?”,  ridiculous reactions every time someone in the room sneezes or coughs, and chatter about ridiculous rumors naming any number of people who are infected, I was done.

For the record at this time Australia is yet to crack 1000 cases (source).

Around the time I made the post I was also made aware that one person in the blogosphere at least was concerned about my reduced rate of posting. Thank you very much for your concern Mr A. So I am here to reassure everyone that I am not infected. I am also starting to think that I am living in the only country in the world that is not in lockdown.

The reason for the lack of posts? Boring, ordinary, end of term workload. As I type I am contemplating the draft assignments sitting on my laptop waiting for my pearls of feedback wisdom, the completed assignments waiting for my grading wisdom and the online lesson delivery resources that I need to prepare just in case the school does get shut down.

Despite what my students think, school getting shut down does not mean an instant holiday for everyone. For teachers it is about working out a whole bunch of new ways to convey ideas and information. For many of us it is about learning how to use technology that we are very unfamiliar with. I have been to training sessions to help with this in the last few weeks but still, when in front of students, the tools don’t sit as easily in my hand as a whiteboard marker and my voice. And that is when I am just in practise mode and can revert to the tried and true when a student really doesn’t get it. What happens when they are behind a screen?

So I am still here. My life is definitely not sexy at the moment. My writing is struggling but there are still bits and pieces happening when I get a chance. Roll on actual end of term holidays that are two weeks away.

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Tuesday Morning Conversation

So as seems to happen my twitter followers have heard the punchline of this conversation with me but I felt the need to share the following conversation with you all.

So this guy messaged me on the swingers dating app I use. In actual fact I had sworn off contacting people from this app for a while because it has become HARD WORK. I really don’t know why I broke this promise to myself but here is what went down:

Initial message: Hey you look super sexy I would like to get to know you better.

For the record he was listed as living in Newcastle, about 700km from me. That is what made me think chatting to him would be a bit of harmless fun.

Response: We can chat if you like my Kik is …..

He messaged me back almost straight away but I didn’t respond. Something about his Kik profile didn’t feel good. I should have taken it as a sign. So next morning;

Gemma: sorry I didn’t respond last night I crashed really early.

CFW (Thhis stands for complete fucking wanker. Reasons for this alias will become apparent very soon): I want you to suck my dick

Really I should have shut this down then and there. This kind of opening never ends well but I am all for giving someone the benefit of the doubt

Gemma: I only sick dicks that are big enough and pretty enough.

CFW: sends dick pic. It wasn’t pretty and who can tell size from a close up with no point of reference.

Gemma: If it isn’t in real life it doesn’t count

CFW: Can I see your pussy?

Gemma: amuses herself by sending ‘pussy’ pic

CFW: Lol

At this point I leave to drive 20mins to work. I thought that was that but I was wrong

CFW: I want to lick you.

I decide he is not going to get the hint so I give it to him straight

Gemma: Look I don’t do sexting or sex chat or any of the things that involve me talking dirty and sending pics while you wank. If that is what you want then I am not your girl.

Again. I think That is that, but it wasn’t. I get to work

CFW: I am looking to hook up

Gemma: so tell me your story

At this point I have ignored multiple red flags and STILL I am engaging this person. And then it happens

CFW: I am just looking for a hole to fill. I don’t want to be your mate.

What

The

Actual

Fuck???????

I know that men sometimes think this. I know that many think this without actually admitting it but saying it to someone you are supposedly trying to get sex with?

Gemma: well you aren’t going to fill this hole because your dick is not big nor pretty enough.

Yes I should have shut it down. Blocked him, deleted the conversation, ghosted him but I wanted to make him feel as worthless as he had just done to me.

CFW: well you are a fat old granny I bet you won’t enjoy the 10 years you have left.

Then in the middle of the staff room, getting ready for classes and a day of wrestling with teenagers I did what I should have done after the first message. Deleted the conversation. Ended it.

I was shocked, hurt, violated. Worse, I had no one to share what had just happened to me. Not one of the 130 odd people sharing the staff room with me at that moment could help me. They don’t know what I do, they can’t know what I do. I had to just pull myself together and move on.

There are those who would say putting it out there meant I asked for it. I didn’t. I was polite, I was clear about what I am about. Nothing about anything I do made what CFW said OK. Don’t get me wrong, it is perfectly ok to say “I am just looking for sex” and “I don’t want to get intimate”

Telling someone that you see them as a cum bucket, that is not OK. Responding in such a nasty way when you get rejected. That is not OK. It is never ok to be rude or treat someone like junk.

For the record I spent the rest of the day grumpy and out of sorts. I am proud however of the fact that what he said didn’t make me feel less sexy or attractive. It hasn’t made me question my lifestyle or my choices about hooking up for sex. I AM attractive and he definitely was the one who missed out. I refuse to stop believing in myself.

This post is listed as part of Wicked Wednesday prompt #405 Don’t Stop Believing. As always there is a plethora of talented writers to enjoy so get on over at check them out!

The Perfect Friday Night

I am not sure if school swimming carnivals are a thing in the rest of the world. But here in the Land Down Under the school swimming carnival is an institution that causes great joy in the minority of a school population, a neutral feeling in probably the majority and angst in the rest of us. For teachers swimming carnivals are, like a lot of whole school sporting events, a chance for those kids who struggle in the classroom to shine. They also represent a day of trying to co-erce reluctant students to compete, trying to soothe kids who find large crowds of people stressful and trying to be positive and up beat when hit with complaints about how boring this is.

In the land of long hot summers swimming is something almost every child learns how to do to some degree. So everyone has at least one set of swimmers and the ability to complete 50m of freestyle. Therefore it is reasonable to expect most students to jump in and have a go. What is not unreasonable is teenage girls in swimsuits that display all of their butt cheeks (very uncomfortable for male teachers) and the occasional boy in good old Budgie Smugglers, Dick Togs, Speedos or whatever you want to call them. (Not something I need to see EVER!!!)

budgie smugglers

So after a long day of coercing students to compete in events, encouraging students to clean up their rubbish, supervising a stupidly slow canteen line and dealing with a student who decided it would be funny to moon a teacher who went into the boys change rooms to investigate raucous behavior I was more than relieved to kick back with a wine or two at Staff Friday Drinks. That was when the perfect Friday Night Plan was born.

Twitter followers will be familiar with this plan. The essence was as follows;

Step 1: Drink wine with colleagues in the staff room after work

Step 2: Go home and immerse myself in a bath while someone else makes my dinner

Step 3: Eat dinner

Step 4: Go to my local swinger’s club, find a nice young man and enjoy myself a MMF.

When I initially tweeted this the after work drinking was happening. Mr Jones had done a stellar job of parenting and picked up the girl child so I was free to come home when I was ready. As I wrote the initial plan into Twitter I felt that it was not realistic. But as I slid into my car to drive home, thank goodness I didn’t run into a police person who wanted to breathalyze me or things could have gone very wrong!!, some of the positive self talk that I have been practising lately kicked in. I decided that I could and should see if the plan could happen.

On arrival at home I was pleased to find dinner underway. The plan was happening without too much effort on my part. It wasn’t going to be fine dining. Mr Jones is not a skilled cook but I didn’t have to cook and I was grateful. My daughter decided to jump in the bath which did make me re-consider but somehow things seemed to fit together. I found myself relaxing in a tub of warm water.

Note to self; request bubble bath for Mother’s Day.

Long story short dinner happened, I got dressed, I looked hot and I found myself at the club. It was a little quiet. The last few times Mr Jones and I went there it was a bit of a sausage fest. I was hoping for something similar, because sausages were a big part of the plan. I was a little disappointed but as time went by a younger man appeared.

Within a relatively short space of time I found myself naked on a bed between two men. The plan was definite falling in to place. My new friend’s skin was so smooth. He was so young and seemed so inexperienced. It didn’t matter. I had Mr Jones’s cock in my pussy and my new friend’s cock down my throat. I was in my happy place.

I am not sure what it is about a spit roast, it just feels so fucking good. The feeling of Mr Jones’ arms around me while he fucked me was the best feeling. I felt so close to him. Something I needed. Even if I didn’t realise it. I lay back while Mr Jones fucked me and I put the other man’s hands on my pussy. His fingers worked my clit as the cock slid in and out of me. For a brief while I thought about trying to encourage him to put his cock inside me beside Mr Jones’. It was a passing thought.

I could feel the orgasm building. I wasn’t entirely expecting it but there it was. For a moment I could feel the tension building then it seemed to ebb away. My friend caressed my clit, working it beautifully. Mr Jones’ cock slid in and out of me. Maybe the position which was not something we usually did. Maybe the intensity of the night.

The orgasm built again, faster than I expected. When I came it was like thunderstorm gripping my body. I knew I needed the experience but I hadn’t realised how much. The feeling of peace that came over me was the most relaxed I had been in weeks.

But it wasn’t done. I needed to watch the new man cum. I encouraged him to fuck me hard. As he fucked me I watched his face. There is something about watching a man climax. It is as satisfying as my own climax. I was lucky this night. Not only did I enjoy some truly special sex and a mind blowing orgasm but I also got to feel the climax of my new friend and finally my husband.

Afterwards my new friend left the room. I will probably not see him again but it doesn’t matter. My plan came to fruition, it was the perfect Friday Night,.

Confronting

I have blogged before about the freedom of blogging as if no one is reading. It is generally how I approach these pages. Of course I realize that people read what I write and I do send links to people sometimes if there is something I am particularly proud of or if I think they might find it interesting (read arousing). Mr Jones is not a big reader and I thought he didn’t read these pages but it seems that he does. So hello Mr Jones.

I was contacted by a Twitter follower who wanted to meet. It turns out that he is a bit shy and it took him a while to work up the courage he needed. In this particular case he does not meet the three rules in particular the one about his partner knowing. I made it very clear that there will be no playing but he still wanted to meet so what the hell.

It was an interesting encounter. We met in Bunnings of all the places. I am not sure why but it was as good a place as any. Relatively cool, no one really taking much notice of two people chilling in the outdoor furniture display for half an hour or so. He turned out to be a genuine nice, if a little nerdy, guy. It was relaxing to have a conversation about just general stuff without the pressure of deciding if I am going to take it further.

Maybe because I wasn’t in “date” mode I kind of defaulted to “teacher / vanilla” mode which is quite a contrast. Whatever the reason, after we had chatted about movies, television shows, family Christmas and our jobs he made a reference to this photo that I had posted on twitter.

For some reason I found him mentioning this really awkward. I don’t know why. It amused him that my reaction to his comments was to blush like a stupid school girl. The more that I think about it the more I am convinced that I was definitely in vanilla mode and this mode is more prudish than it really needs to be.

When I told Mr Jones about this later he laughed a little but was completely understanding of my comments that having stuff you have posted on the net being waved in your face by a real flesh and blood person sitting in front of you. Posting pictures of your butt, no matter how attractive, is not something that to be done lightly. Pressing that tweet button must be done with care. Things I tend to be careful about are background clutter and any identifying features, including my face. And I absolutely will NOT post a photo that has anyone else in it without their consent.

Clutter in the background of a photo looks messy but also can unwittingly contain things that give away identity and location. I like to give myself the illusion at least that I am in control of who pops into my actual life from my internet life. In all likelihood I am probably FAR from in control of this but I have not had too many problems so far.

In any case the comments from  my new friend left me in no doubt that he wasn’t looking at me in a vanilla way AT ALL which is perfectly fine. I just need to get my head around what is going on with this interaction. I have no intention of breaking my own cardinal rules so I have to maintain a certain level of decorum but on the other hand I can be a bit more relaxed about sex stuff than I am with normal platonic friends.

For me this is an unusual experience. I do have some friends who know about Gemma but are not sex partners but they are few and far between. Maybe walking this different path will help me to be more comfortable in my own sexy skin more of the time.

This Teacher Life

So it is Friday afternoon at the end of the second last week of the last term of the school year. Senior students have graduated and the rest of the school is well and truly into assessment mode. Today I supervised an exam and collected two classes of assignments. Admittedly one of the classes has only six students in it but meh. On Monday I will supervise a second exam and collect another class of assignments.

Over the next week and a half I will wade my way through. About 120 pieces of assessment and participate in at least three meetings moderating my marking. Suffice to say driving home on the last day knowing that I have seven weeks of not doing any school related work is going to feel really good.

Really fucking good.

Something to really look forward to this week is a planned meeting with my John Barrowman lookalike. This is really an unexpected experience. I didn’t expect to meet him that night at the club, I didn’t expect that he would want to continue seeing me and mostly I didn’t anticipate how much I would enjoy fucking him.

During our last meeting I took a video of myself giving him a head job. Mostly for Mr Jones’ benefit. Over the last week or so I have listened to it many times. The sound of a man totally lost in pleasure and being comfortable enough to vocalize is so stimulating for me. I cannot explain the visceral reaction I have to the sound of an orgasm that I helped to create. I am definitely looking forward to the encore.

Big Hands I know Your the One

Before I start today I want to share one of my all time favourite songs with you

This song is symbolic of rebellion against the rules of the Catholic Boarding school I spent my teenage years in and also of drunk times in pubs as a uni student. It also sports one of the lines that has become a slight obsession of late.

“Big hands I know your’e the one”

hands

Does hand size have anything to do with penis size? I have no idea. But lately, when I am forced to endure meetings it has become a guilty pleasure to observe hand size of the men around me and speculate. Is it workplace appropriate. Probably not. Will I ever act on it? definitely not. Will I ever share my thinking outside the confessional booth that is this blog. Nope. So you lot and I get to smirk secretly to our heart’s content.

And so the idea of big hands = big cock has led to some interesting ideas and endless entertainment both at work and in other places. Of course I have absolutely no intention of embarking on an actual research project about this. Even though as a scientist I instinctively want to prove a theory. The problem I have is that when I am in a position to observe penis size I don’t really think too much about hand size. When I am observing hand size there is usually NO FUCKING WAY I am going to ask the subject of my observations about his penis size.

Case in point. My current principal has big meaty hands. When we shake hands they swallow mine. He is a big man. Tall, broad and an ex football player. Probably attractive in his own way but I have cultivated this filter in my brain that does not allow inappropriate thoughts to get too out of hand when I am at school. We are never going to have a conversation about my lifestyle. EVER. So I am left to speculate when he goes on a bit too much in staff meetings.

Sometimes amusing yourself with your own twisted mind is enough.

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Please make sure you check out the other better writers at this week’s post