Recently I have joked to a couple of my chat friends that I am thinking about becoming celibate. They think the concept is hilarious. In their minds and probably in their fantasies I am still the sex goddess I was when they met me. I guess in some ways I am. In many others I am not.
The last couple of years have seen a lot of changes in my life. I think, finally, I have become a grownup. I have a real job; one where I have to be responsible all the time. I am currently the only person in my household that actually has a full time job so in some ways I am kind of the breadwinner. No not really, that would be too much grown up even for me. For the first time in a long time I am thinking about the future and the direction that I want to steer my life. Probably the most grown up thing a person can do.
What, I hear you ask, have either of those things got to do with not being a sex goddess? The answer is actually not very much. Other than my headspace is not constantly occupied with thoughts or plans for the next adventure. Something that was a key part of being a sex goddess. These days when people ask me about my fucket list my answer is; “Fucket list, oh yeh I remember what one of those is”
I just realised; another key indicator of being a grown up, I use semi colons in my writing. Or is that a side effect of being a teacher? I don’t know but it a bit freaky, here I am pouring my heart out to the void of the Internet and I am ticking off grammar and sentence structure in my head. I need a really good fuck.
So we were talking about fucket lists. I remember that I have often said I don’t like to have a specific list. But I guess that I kind of did. I kind of remember what was on it. Right now my fucket list consists of; have sex with my husband, have sex with Engineer X. Not necessarily in that order. Logistics seem to get in the way a lot these days. People think that having small children is a drag on your sex life. Those people really have no idea. Mainly because they are yet to experience having teenagers living with you. Small children don’t know, or care, if they walk in on you having sex. They are not scarred by the experience. What’s more they go to bed at a sensible hour meaning you can actually have pre sex on the couch before you start falling asleep. Teenagers don’t do that. They want to stay up and share their rubbish idea of what is good TV and make it awkward if you want to make sexy jokes with your husband. What’s worse is they don’t go to bed nice and early so that you can invite over some special people or when you get dressed to go out and meet said special people they ask all kinds of questions about where you are going.
Actually my teenagers have kind of got the hint that asking too many questions is not a good idea so I guess I have trained them to a certain extent but it is still awkward getting out the door some days. Mr Jones is much more concerned about that kind of thing that me. I feel more comfortable being relatively candid. He does not. So we land somewhere in between which is, by definition, awkward. I guess I just have to keep telling myself that it is only temporary. Not that I am expecting them to move out but I am definitely not going to sugar coat things for my eighteen year old children just to spare them some awkwardness. That is just creating a rod for your own back.
It seems I have worked through and dismissed my standard list of excuses for not being sexy enough so now I am left with a task; hang up my goddess cape or stop making excuses. My friends are right, hanging up the cape is a hilarious idea. Hilarious because it is so unlikely. And because I simply don’t want to. As much as Mr Jones is irritating me right now he is just going to have to get out his impressive junk and use it on me. Because a happy wife makes for a happy life and to be happier I need more sex in my life.
Thanks for listening Internet Void, you are the best therapist ever.
Home:1. Your current home: House? Apartment? Trailer? Condo? Other?
I live in a fairly idyllic place. A four bedroom house on 1.5 acres. For an ex farm girl who finds herself living in the city it is a perfect fit. I don’t have to see the neighbours when I go into the back yard plus I get to keep poultry.
2. Which is bigger, your childhood home or your current home?
My childhood home was a farm house on 23, 000 acres. So in terms of land the childhood home was definitely bigger. The house was physically bigger but it was a bit higgeldy piggeldy so there was a lot of space that wasn’t used very well.
3. Which is better childhood home or current home? Why?
Both of them have their pros and cons. But I prefer my current home. Mainly because I am happier here than I was at my childhood home.
4. What was your favorite subject in school? (consider high school, college, grad school). Why was this your favorite subject?
Definitely microbiology. I found the whole concept of a world of organisms that are invisible to the naked eye fascinating.
5. Are you currently working in a field that you studied in college?
I am a science teacher which on the surface looks like I am working in the same field but in reality it is quite different. There are some aspects of the subjects I studied at university that are the same in this job but there are a plethora of other things that are not. Prior to starting this job I also completed a degree in education. I have to say that not very much of that degree really helped me get ready for the reality of teaching.
6. Describe your first job.
My first job was as a research assistant a C.S.I.R.O. Which is the Australian government funded scientific body. I was very much at the bottom of the ladder in this place and I did all of the jobs that were beneath the real scientists working there. My experiences there formed my opinions about the attitudes and work ethic of government workers and since that job I have avoided working in government funded positions.
7. What was your favorite job and why?
Prior to starting work as a teacher I managed a laboratory in a milk factory. Many of the staff there were awesome people. The factory was brand new and the company that built it was establishing its brand in a new area. This made the whole community of workers extremely tight. This changed as the factory grew but those first years were awesome.
Bonus: What haven’t we talked about in TMI Tuesday that you would like to discuss?
A couple of things; travelling and fantasies, sexual of course.
Make sure you hit up the TMI Tuesday page for more goodness
During the last school holidays (two weeks after Easter) I had grand plans of spending time writing more of my story to post on my “Corruption of Mrs Jones” page. I was feeling very positive and upbeat about life in general after spending a week pottering around a small beach community with my family. But, as the saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. I wrote a small amount and the rest of my time go swallowed up with things that seemed important at the time but right now I cannot remember what they were.
In the past I would have beaten myself around the head with guilt at this failure to complete what I set out to do but I have learned to be more gentle with myself these days. Instead I noted it, and then got on with life. Rather I got on with letting life push me along at its whim. It wasn’t until I had a conversation with Mr Jones about a few things that are happening in our relationship that I realised this wasn’t the best pathway to choose. Our relationship is not suffering, in some ways it is stronger than ever. But the level of physical and emotional intimacy between us at the moment is very low.
There are a number of reasons for this, related to what is happening in our house at the moment;
- Mr Jones’ parents have just moved in with us
- We have two teenage children who take up a lot of our time and emotional energy
- For the first time in about seven years I am working full time.
All of these things of course ar the result of choices that we have both made about the direction of our lives. Having said that when we made these decisions we didn’t imagine that they would converge together in this way. Except maybe the parent moving in part. We knew that wasn’t going to be easy but we felt it was necessary.
What we didn’t consciously choose to have going on was for me to develop depression. To be fair I am not contemplating death constantly nor am I self harming daily but I have noticed that I have a tendency to disengage from “real” life. This means I sleep a lot more than I really need to and also spend a lot of time doing pointless activity like gaming on my iPad. Sometimes I justify this as ‘me time’ but really it isn’t healthy. It also means I have disconnected from important people like Mr Jones to a certain extent.
After my chat with my husband about where we are at with our sex life I came to think about all of this as looking inwards. Depression is a very strange beast. To me, most of the symptoms and behaviours are things that I just need to tell myself to “get over it and get on with it” but I am learning as time goes on that it isn’t as simple as all that. Sometimes I do need to just buck up but sometimes I need to be a little more cunning with my approach and trick the black dog into letting go.
And so at this juncture I find myself searching for ways to look outwards more often. I can’t completely stop dead looking inwards because deciding to do that is setting myself up to fail. I just need to choose to look outwards more often. The form the outwards looking will take is not entirely clear in my mind. Like a lot of things in my life I will just have to make it up as I go along. I am not sure if all of this will enable me to continue to share my story but I hope that I will visit these pages more often to shre my musings as a kind of therapy.
So here is to looking outwards and re-connecting with the world. Even just a little bit.
I am guessing it must be tax time in The United States as this is the topic of this week’s TMI. Not a particularly sexy topic but them’s the breaks.
I would encourage you to have a look at some of the other contributions this week as I am sure that they will be much more interesting than mine!
1. Are taxes levied where you live?
Absolutely. Australia has one of the highest levels of taxation in the world. The average Australian pays about 30% of their income directly as tax as well as a large range of other indirect taxes including Goods and Services Tax which is 10% of the price of all non-essential foods and services retailed here. So it would not be unreasonable to estimate that between 40 and 50% of our income is paid out in some form of tax.
For this astronomical amount of money we are privileged to have fully publicly funded health and education systems and a social welfare system that is more extensive than many other first world countries. No doubt much of our hard earned money gets wasted on beaurocracy but “such is life”
2. Do you pay your taxes?
Income tax in Australia is deducted directly from most people’s income by their employer before it is paid to them so a regular person who works for a company is generally unable to avoid paying that portion of their tax. Goods and Services tax is levied at the checkout and so again is unavoidable.
Of course there are ways to avoid paying income tax especially if you are self employed or a portion of your income is raised from investments but these are usually the domain of more wealthy people such as Kerry Packer
3. This year will you owe taxes or do you expect a refund?
Sadly I will not be receiving a refund. Most employers are careful only to deduct the necessary amount of tax required. In addition our family investments mean that I usually owe the Australian Taxation Office a certain amount of money.
4. Have you already filed your taxes?
Our financial / taxation year ends on 30 June. So we don’t have to lodge our tax return for a few months yet.
5. You are getting a tax refund, which ONE of these would you most likely do with the money?
a. pay off credit cards
b. contribute to retirement savings
c. go on vacation
d. shop for something (car, clothes, household items, etc)
As a rule we don’t plan for windfalls like tax returns and so any money that come from such things just gets put into the general slush fund. I guess you could call it saving for retirement.
6. Sometimes you just need to be frivolous, and if you get a windfall from a tax refund, which of ONE of these things would you most likely do? Why?
a. have a big party
b. loan it to family or a friend
c. spend a weekend at an adults-only erotic resort
d. gamble (Lottery tickets, casino)
Of course spend it at an adults – only erotic resort. It is an experience that I have yet to have but it is definitely on my fucket list.
Bonus: If you could be a circus performer, which act would you be? (I know, soooo random!)
You are right, very random. I guess given my real life past time of pole dancing I would be some kind of acrobatic performer maybe flying trapeze. On the other hand I think and elephant trainer would also be a pretty cool thing to be.
This week the topic posted on the TMI site celebrates spring as this season is fast approaching in the Northern Hemisphere. Here in the Southern Hemisphere the days are getting shorter and we are officially in Autumn. Where I live summer is still hanging on with a vengeance. So I have modified the questions slightly to suit. For more TMI goodness check out the other posts on the TMI Tuesday page.
1. Spring vacation, will you take one? Where?
In Australia it is traditional to take a short vacation around Easter which is on 5 April. My family and I will be heading away this year for a week at the beach which I am very much looking forward to.
Spring time love.
2. Do you become friskier as the temperatures outside heat up?
I will admit that I do find it exciting when the temperatures outside climb high enough to start shedding clothing. But right now after several months of incredible humidity and ridiculous temperatures I am looking forward to being able to cuddle without a layer of sweat building up between us within the first thirty seconds
3. Do you flirt more in spring vs. other times of the year?
I haven’t actually thought about wether there is a seasonal trend to my flirting. Generally I flirt more when I am feeling relaxed and comfortable with life. That can happen any time of the year really.
4. Do you dress sexier in the spring?
I wear less clothing in the warmer months which for most people means sexier I guess. I am fortunate to live in a climate that is quite warm for most of the year and so even during the coldest months there isn’t really a need to wear layers and layers of clothing. One thing that I can only wear during the cooler months is boots. Right now I am happily anticipating the cooler months so that I can get out my knee high boots and shop around for a new pair of thigh highs.
5. What day of the week do you have sex most often?
Until quite recently Mr Jones and I had an almost religious Saturday morning routine. However one of our children has taken up a Saturday morning sport which has totally blasted that one out of the water. People who think small children kill your sex life should wait until they have teenagers! Honestly I can’t even begin to count the creative ways my teenagers conspire to kill my sex life.
Falling in love takes one-fifth of a second
It takes a fifth-of-a-second for the euphoria-inducing chemicals to start acting on the brain when you are looking at that special someone. –Source
6. Do you use kissing as an important way to test out a new mate? Good kissers, keep and move forward to another stage in a budding relationship. Bad kissers, get pruned and dumped.
I am in a very long term relationship so I am not looking for a love type partner. I am open to the possibility of a new sex partner however. There is something incredibly sexy about that first kiss which makes me want to fuck the right person right then and there!
7. What do you expect from marriage?
a. safety and solidarity and security
b. a journey towards self-fulfillment and self-actualization with a partner that ‘gets’ you.
In my completely honest opinion I expect both a. and b. from my marriage, I do expect safety, solidarity and security, not the financial, traditional type but most definitely I expect my relationship to be a place where I can safely express myself. I expect that my relationship is secure and I know where I stand from one day to the next and I expect my partner to be on my side especially when it comes to important things like parenting children and dealing with extended family issues.
I believe that if all of these things are in place then a ‘journey towards self -fulfilment and self-actualisation’ will follow as a matter of course.
8. Acts of love &; kindness. Which would mean more to you:
a. Taking your partner a cup of tea in bed (or receiving that cup of tea)
b. Giving or receiving a box of chocolates or flowers
For me the most romantic thing someone can do for me is pay attention to what is happening in my life at the time and perform an act that is designed to help me with something I am struggling with. This week Mr Jones has really stepped up to the plate. Coming home in the afternoon to a clean house has meant much more than coming home to a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates.
Bonus: In your late teens or early 20s did you take wild spring break vacations with friends? What is the wildest, craziest, sexiest thing you did on a “gone wild” spring break?
I was a very, very boring teenager and sadly I have no tales of drunken wild party filled holidays to share with my children.
I do however have every intention of taking vacations that my children worry about my grandchildren discovering as I head into retirement.
1. What are some challenges related to your sex life?
The main challenge that our sex life faces at the moment is being the parents of two teenage children. They don’t go to bed nice and early like they used to and unfortunately our bedroom opens into the main kitchen/living space of our house. The kids think that this makes our bedroom an extension of the lounge room. Not conducive to intimacy or a great sex life.
2. Is quality or quantity most important?
For a long time a great source of tension in our marriage was the quantity of sex. When one partner feels that they are not getting enough it becomes difficult to focus on quality and to let squabbles about quantity become all consuming.
A long journey later my focus has become very much on quality. Of course the old demon of quantity still rears its ugly head from time to time but it is becoming easier to tame.
3. How much sex is enough?
Continuing on from the last question this is a question I have asked Mr Jones and myself many times over the eighteen years of our relationship. I have never really come up with an absolute quantity.
Having said that it is easy to tell when you are not getting enough sex in our relationship. When I start to feel a distance and decrease in intimacy I know that it is time to take drastic action.
4. I want to have more _____ .
Sexy underwear and shoes. Two things you can never have enough of in your wardrobe.
5. I would like to attempt new sex positions such as _____ .
I honestly can’t think of a sex position that I have been wanting to try. Usually if there is something new to try I try it straight away. My attention span is really short. I have to strike while the iron is hot.
6. I would like to stop doing _____ sex position.
I can’t understand why anyone would keep doing anything sexual that they don’t enjoy. There is compromise and there is taking one for the team. Compromise is something that may entail a bit of give and take but definitely not something that you don’t enjoy but agree to do again.
7. To me foreplay means _____ .
Anything that gets your motor running. Anything.
8. Something I think about a lot related to sex is _____ .
I cannot think of a single thing that I think about a lot, related to sex. The things that spring to mind are making Pet’s ass nice and pink, Mr Jones’ cock and squirting.
Bonus: Tell us something you love about your sex life.
I love the freedom that I have to experience adventures as they come to mind. Even though it has been a long journey and sometimes hard work the process that Mr Jones and I have gone through has allowed us to enjoy adventures and experiences that many people aren’t even able to imagine.
Ten years ago I would never have believed that I would come this far.
Make sure that you visit the TMI Tuesday page for more TMI goodness.
This post covers the next step the wonderful Journey that Mr Jones and I find ourself on. If you are a new visitor to these pages you can catch up with the previous posts on the page, The Journey to Now. I will return to this story periodically as I write posts dealing with it.
I am a child of the eighties. I started high school in 1985 at a school that boasted a very modern computer room. The machines that were housed in this miracle of modern technology probably had less processing power than a pocket calculator of 2014. I remember when the Internet was invented and I remember when Windows was considered a pretty nifty invention. What does this have to do with swinging? Well not a whole lot really except that it is very hard to imagine modern swinging without the internet. When Mr Jones and I decided to embark on the epic journey of opening our marriage we were blissfully unaware of this fact. The idea of using a dating website to meet people for sex was beyond the scope of our imagination. And so we found ourselves facing the big red front door of a swingers club that Mr Jones had located and researched, ironically on the Internet.
Getting from the point of discussing swinging as a very real possibility and not just a fantasy and actually standing at the door of the club took time, lots and lots of it. When Mr Jones had told me about the club my reaction was one of complete terror. A million questions plagued me like; what will the people be like? And what will they expect of me? I was terrified, I am not sure what of. Even now I can’t explain exactly what I was afraid of. It could have been a fear of the unknown or perhaps instinctively I understood that taking that step was like opening the life of Pandora’s box, just of what I hadn’t experienced before and didn’t understand. Most likely my opinions were still being formed by the stereotypes that permeate our pop culture; that swinging is somehow sleazy and dirty and that the kind of people who would go to swing clubs are not ‘nice people’.
In the weeks and months after he had made the suggestion and told me of his discovery I allowed myself to get used to the idea and even read up on the information contained in the website in question. Thinking back now I can’t really understand how my mindset moved from the conservative values I was raised with and that formed the basis of most of my fears and the acceptance of the possibilities enough to take the first step of agreeing to visit the club. I didn’t watch porn, I didn’t read a lot of erotica and the idea of group sex was for me a little bit foreign. But move my perceptions I did.
One Saturday night we found ourselves standing at the reception counter of the much discussed club. It was located in an inner city industrial area tucked around the corner one block back from a main roadway. Convenient but not obvious, discreet even. The owner of the club was a very tall outspoken woman. She was not conventionally beautiful but she was very sexually appealing. More importantly she was welcoming, friendly and very matter of fact. She explained the rules of the club, took our money and arranged a tour for us. It was like stepping into another planet full of strange alien customs.
The private rooms where people went to have sex either with an open or closed door were fairly easy to deal with but the bondage play area where things got a little more kinky was slightly more out of the box. This particular club featured a room with a one way window where people could be observed without being able to see the people looking through the window. This room also featured a live internet stream. It was a little early and the club was filling slowly. After our tour Mr Jones and I sat in the bondage area which was on a mezzanine above the main bar area. He was very excited already by what he had seen and the possibilities that were opening up to us.
We had agreed that this evening was about window shopping. We didn’t know what to expect so we didn’t want to commit to doing anything in particular. A couple came up to us and introduced themselves. They were a little older than us and he explained that his wife liked to be tied up and pleasured by another woman. If there was a moment in that whole evening when I was going to run out of the door that was it. I was interested in exploring my bisexuality and these days a proposition like that would have been all kinds of interesting. But on that night, when I was taking the first tentative steps into exploring a lifestyle that went against most of what I had been taught for my entire life, it was terrifying. Thankfully I wasnt that easily deterred. I politely explained that we were very new and were “just looking” tonight. The couple were very understanding and left us to our own devices.
This understanding was something which I hadn’t really expected but it is something that I have become very accustomed to in the clubs that Mr Jones and I frequent. As we became more experienced we have learned that a lack of tolerance and understanding of where people are at is a sign of people who aren’t secure in their primary relationship and need to be avoided at all costs. Trying to remember the night now is difficult.
The whole night of course proved to be one of those experiences that changed our lives completely forever. We knew then that we had discovered something exceptional, we found ourselves not wanting to leave, reluctant to let go of our discovery, perhaps afraid that it would dissappear forever if we did, but the time came when we had to make a move. As we were leaving we said our goodbyes to a couple we had been speaking to. Like us they were relatively new to the whole scene and still working out what they were looking for. As we said goodbye she reached up and kissed me.
It was unlike any other kiss that I had ever experienced. The thing that remained with me to this day is the softness of a woman’s kiss. It is the thing that I keep going back to now when my curiosity is satisfied and I am no longer particularly interested in sex with women. That and breasts. I really really like beautiful natural breasts. Afterwards for weeks Mr Jones was completely buzzed by this happening. He kept singing to me the lyrics from the Katey Perry song, “I Kissed a Girl” which was on the charts at the time. Travelling home and for the next weeks afterwards we talked many times about what we had seen and done. Our sex took on another dimension. The thing that was absolutely, unequivocally going to happen next was another visit.
This week’s questions were inspired by Conan O’Brien. I have to admit that I am not particularly familiar with Conan O’Brien, most of those styles are shown on television quite late at night so I don’t really watch them but I do like the questions.
As always make sure you check out the TMI page for more TMI goodness.
1. One thing I will never comprehend is ____ .
Why people get their children’s names tattooed on their body. I admit I am a ‘cleanskin’ and don’t have any tattoos of my own but I do admire that style of art. But I just don’t understand the need to get your children’s names permanently written on you. It’s not like you are going to forget them nor is anyone else who matters to you. So why? I just don’t get it.
2. My blood type is ____ .
The most common type; O positive. I have been a blood donor for several years. Because of my blood type I now donate plasma as it is a much more useful donation to the Australian Blood Service as in Australia we are not able to collect enough plasma locally to make all the products our health system requires while we do collect enough whole blood.
3. I am pretty healthy for ____ .
A forty two year old working mother.
Last year was my first year of high school teaching. The school I was teaching at was very full on and so I had a lot of stress related health issues. This year I am working in a much better environment and I am on top of things much more and I feel my basic health is much improved. Pole dancing is my main form of exercise and it has huge health benefits including improved strength and flexibility.
4. When I really cannot sleep I ____ .
Get up and do the ironing. It is a fabulous way to zone out and stop your mind from ticking over.
5. You never forget ____ .
The side of your car that the petrol cap is on. At a recent family gathering I was reminded very strongly exactly how ditsy one of my nephew’s wife is through a conversation about this topic. I was stunned at the way that some people struggle with this basic concept. For me it is one of those things you never really forget, like remembering which foot your shoe goes on.
6. As a child my favorite pet was ____ .
I grew up on a farm surrounded by animals. I had one particular pet, a tabby cat who was called Sam. Interestingly a tabby has made his way into my house recently and like my childhood friend, stolen my heart.
Bonus: This week’s question comes from The Late Phoenix – “Why was fuck chosen as the ultimate swear word? It coulda easily been duck.”
I don’t think that duck would have ever become the ultimate swear word because fuck has always, since it’s earliest use in the English language, referred to the act of sexual intercourse. I think that the word did not become a swear word as such, rather it became less socially acceptable to discuss sex openly and so words used to refer to sex have become taboo.
This week’s TMI questions focus on winter as it is the current season in the Northern Hemisphere. Here in Australia it is the middle of summer. In addition our winters never equal those of most Norther Hemisphere countries so I have decided to change the questions to suit my local climate.
As always make sure you visit the TMI Tuesday page to check out other confessions!
1. Where you live what is the current season? As I said above it is Summer here in Australia which means long hot days. Brisbane, where I live is in the sub tropics so we have relatively high humidity and a lot of rain at this time of the year as well. The rain often comes in the form of thunderstorms but sometimes we have monsoonal type downpours.
2. Do you measure/report the weather temperature in Celsius or Fahrenheit? Definitely Celsius. I have a rudimentary understanding of the conversion between Fahrenheit and Celsius but I every time I have to convert between the two I have to look up how to do it.
3. Describe your ideal day of weather? I was born in the sub tropics and so I have lived in a relatively warm climate all my life. I simply cannot go for days and days without sunshine and I really don’t like winter. It isn’t that I feel the cold particularly but I just hate having to wear extra clothing to keep warm. For me a perfect day is nice and sunny with a maximum or around 25 Celsius a slight breeze and a night time temperature of around 18 degrees.
4. When it is hot outside I want to:
- a. Lie naked on the tile floor.
- b. Slap on sunscreen and hit the beach.
- c. Lie around under the air conditioning drinking cold drinks and complaining about how hot it is,
- d. I do not pay attention to the weather.
I would answer with a combination of a. And b. Although I would prefer the pool in my backyard to the beach. Although I am considerate of my teenage children’s sensibilities and don’t parade naked around the house I do like to wear as little as possible when it is hot.
5. Do you go “commando” in cold weather or in winter or in summer when it is hot? I would say that for men commando in the summer is probably something some of them prefer but for me personally I don’t especially like commando any time. Even though Mr Jones prefers women not wearing underwear It is something I don’t normally do. I am not sure why but I just prefer to have my underwear on.
6. For 10,000 USD Would you rather mow the lawn in 37 degrees C heat or sit your bare ass on the vinyl seat of a car that has been parked in the sun for three hours? I would rather mow the lawn. We live on 1.5 acres and so we own a ride on mower which makes life much easier but I have been known to mow sections of this lawn in the heat with a push along mower. Have you ever sat your butt on the seat of a car parked in the sun? It hurts like hell!
7. What is your favorite piece of summer clothing? My bikini top and my short shorts or a sarong. Comfortable, loose and sexy all in one.
8. Have you ever worn Long Johns aka long underwear or thermal underwear? Yes, the one and only time I went skiing. Like all things related to cold weather, including ice skating, skiing and I did not get along that well. It isn’t something I have on my list of must dos any time in my future.
Bonus: Do you have more or less sex in the Summer months vs. other times of year? Queenslanders as a rule tend to hibernate a bit during the winter. We do most of our socialising in the summer, partly because that is when Christmas and the party season happens and partly because we all like warmth much more than cold. When it comes to having sex I would probably say my sex life in the warmer months tends to be a bit more exciting. Even on really sweaty days. When it is warm there are things like swimming pools, beaches and other outdoor locations that can get very sexed up and you don’t have to hide under the blankets to keep from freezing.
I began this blog partly as a way of making some changes to the way I was blogging with Erotic Adventures. The other part of the change was to tell the story of my journey. I was raised in a Catholic, white, middle class family. My parents are very conservative and so my sexual education as I passed through adolescence was almost non-existent.
By contrast my lifestyle today is what many people of my parents’ ilk would call hedonistic. It is not an easy transition. When I was a prudish schoolgirl who planned to be a virgin on her wedding night and was terrified of being caught masturbating I thought everyone else was more sexual than me. These days I am often confronted with the reality that while we all like to TALK about sex, very few people out there are actually having the kind of sex we like to talk about or watch on the Internet.
In some ways the transformation was inevitable. Even when I was very young I was insatiably curious about sex. Maybe it was because I was starved for information by my parent’s refusal or inability to talk about sex with me. Other aspects of my upbringing made me very socially awkward. I didn’t have may friends as a teenager and so I couldn’t ask my questions or talk about normal curiosity with my friends.
And so I resorted to furtively reading the sex advice columns in magazines and exploring my own body as much as I could in the limited privacy that a boarding school allowed. I masturbated frequently to the point where I couldn’t go to sleep without it. I liked to wear short skirts and I was proud of my breasts. I know now that that were pretty nice breasts. I wish that I had been more confident of my breasts when I was younger but I am making up for it now.
Mr Jones was one of the key people who finally helped me to reach a place where I am more or less comfortable with my body and my sexuality at least for a while. Our sexual relationship started out with a huge bang. For the first time ever I felt as if he ‘got’ me and we fucked like rabbits, until life took over. The arrival of children radically changed things in our relationship. I won’t go into all the sordid details but for a long time I couldn’t understand how much emphasis Mr Jones put on sex. For me it was fun but just the icing on the cake. I just didn’t get that sex is an important part of feeling loved especially for him. There was constant friction between us about the need for ‘enough’ sex.
My twisted upbringing had trained me well to repress my body’s natural desires and to this day I find it hard to just be horny. When I realise that I am sometimes it is like a triumph and I want to shout from the rooftops. “I am not broken! I can be horny!” The result of my repression was that I began to resent his desire and like so many women with small children and a job to juggle, sex just became one of the chores to tick off on the list of things to get done this week.
Looking back and talking with some people about this topic I know now that we were definitely having more sex than a lot of people even when he kept making me feel like we weren’t. I also know that it doesn’t really matter. Sometimes though knowing something intellectually does erase the negative impressions and bad associations. I still struggle daily with some things like telling him when I am horny or making sure that I enjoy the experience as well.
This negativity dominated my sexual landscape for a very long time, even now it still rears its ugly head from time to time making me over think and over analyse everything that is going on. These days I am starting to realise that this is part of a bigger problem and I am dealing with it that way. Like everyone with this kind of issue I am very good at hiding it. Being in “Gemma mode” is in a lot of ways a mask. Gemma is Mrs Jones but she is also the person Mrs Jones isn’t able to be. Gemma doesn’t have body hang ups or worries about not being sexy or concerns about wether she is doing the sex right. She knows she is one of the hottest creatures on the planet and that when she walks in the room every guys wants to fuck her. It is very liberating being able to slip into character so to speak but there have been times when Gemma has overdone things a little and then left Mrs Jones to pick up the pieces.
I guess that is part of life really and directing my energy towards focussing on the positives instead of dwelling on the negatives is part of my approach to dealing with the issues I mentioned earlier. Like everything it is a journey and I will be on it for the rest of my life. In the spirit of being positive I am looking forward to the ride.