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TMI Tuesday -Boxing Day Edition

Boxing Day is a public holiday that seems to be unique to Britain, Australia and possibly other parts of the British Commonwealth. The origins of the holiday are a little unclear but The Spruce gives some feasible explanations. In modern times it seems that Australians, and possibly Brits are really just celebrating their love of a public holiday. In Australia Boxing Day is marked by two great sporting traditions; The commencement of the Boxing Day test cricket match held at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) and the commencement of the Sydney to Hobart Yacht race in Sydney Harbour. Both contests are marathon tests of skill and stamina with the Sydney to Hobart being responsible for the loss of more than one life even in recent times. For us mere mortals it is a time to recover from over indulging on Christmas Day or perhaps just a way to extend to celebrations for a little longer. Most people would agree that Boxing Day is much more relaxed and if we do attend a gathering it will most likely be with people we actually like instead of fulfilling family requirements and satisfying obligations. 

Of course there is always time to enjoy some TMI goodness. 

1. Do you celebrate Christmas?

Yes. In the whole go to church, get together with the family and eat too much way. I am a practising Catholic so in some ways I take Christmas a little bit seriously. I know December 25 is not the day of Christ’s birth and I know that many of the Christmas traditions we observe are derived from Paganism but the essence of the day, the birth of a child that will change the world deserves some attention. If you are not a Christian then the idea of putting aside differences and taking time to be with people, somehow, also deserves some attention.

2. Tell us about your Christmas celebration.

In our family there is no specified format for Christmas. This year we, Mr Jones, Myself and our children have traveled to spend a few days with my parents at the Cattle Property in Central Queensland. We started the day with ham and pre birds for breakfast followed by unwrapping of presents. Followed by cold lunch on the verandah with my brother and his wife. The maximum temperature for the day was 37 degrees so the only thing I could have added was a swimming pool.

3. What season is it where you live?

It is most definitely summer with a vengeance. As I said in the previous response the maximum temperature yesterday was 37 degrees. In the morning I spoke with my brother who lives in southern New South Wales and they were experiencing a very chilly morning that required a jumper. My sister in law was adamant that this is not how Christmas should feel. I was reminded of this song.

4. It’s the end of the year, what are you still trying to accomplish before the end of the year?

Not really much. The main thing that is playing on my mind is continuing to reduce my weight and improve my fitness but that is more of a long term lifestyle thing.

5. Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve?

Mr Jones and I will be taking our yacht up the Brisbane River to weigh anchor and watch the fireworks off the Story Bridge. Some vanilla friends and our children will be joking us it should be a great relaxing night. 

 There was no bonus this week but in the spirit of  one of my favourite TMIers Nero Speaks I have added my own 

Bonus:What is on your ‘Fucket List’ for the coming year.

I have updated my Fucket List Page with a couple of items that are on the immediate horizon. I am hoping that The Englishman’s availability improves a little in the new year because he is cute and I have plans for him 😉

I hope you have enjoyed this rather rambling TMI make sure that you check out the other contributors at  TMI Tuesday 

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TMI Tuesday – How Random

1. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them?

It was a long time ago, I think I was maybe 7 or 8. I grew up on a cattle property which was fairly isolated.My father had several younger men working for him on a casual basis. One of them was a bull rider when he wasn’t working as a stockman. I guess for a country kid living on a cattle station that was the same  as being a rock star. 

2. Which parent do you identify with the most?

My relationship with my parents is problematic. I think I have blocked a lot of my negative feelings and consequently the positive ones just to stay sane. I am constantly vigilant of developing the same mannerisms and attitudes as my mother. So I guess that answers the question. Despite my efforts my appearance is very similar to my mother and she has a very strong bearing on the way that I live my life. 

3. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat?

I don’t think there is any regular food that I won’t eat AT ALL I have two foods that I strongly dislike one being eggplant and the other is coffee. But I will eat them under duress. 

4. Would you ever adopt a child?

I don’t think I would consciously go through the official adoption process, but I have taken in a teenager when she didn’t have a home. In similar circumstances I would absolutely do the same thing again. 

5. When was the last time you played a board game? What game?

This is not technically a board game but about a week ago we had some friends over for dinner and we played the card game ‘Get Rich Quick‘. For the OCD sufferers out there within the last six months I have played Monopoly the Dr Who regeneration version at which I annihilated Mr Jones. No mean feat. 

Bonus: What makes you laugh more – dry humor or weird, goofy humor?

Definitely the dry type. Sometime the darker the better. Weird goofy humour, especially British ‘toilet’ humour is ok sometimes but it often just makes me cringe. 

For more TMI goodness make sure you hop along to the TMI Tuesday page. 

Dear Random Guy From Twitter

Dear Random Guy From Twitter,

There was a time when I enjoyed you sending me videos and pictures of you masturbating in the morning. It gave me a boost to think that someone thought about me in a sexual way. For a while I entertained thoughts of maybe meeting you and fucking some day. 

But time went on and I realised a few things;

  • I am not attracted to you. The more I look at your photos the more I see that I don’t like. And I makes me want to talk to you less. 
  • We aren’t going to meet. Not because of me but because of you. If you were genuinely interested you would have taken advantage of the several opportunities you have had. 
  • You aren’t really interested in me. I am just part of your spank bank. An interactive photo that you use to help you get off in the morning before you shower and go to work. 

So when I worry about being rude because I don’t reply to all your messages I need to remember to remind myself that you are just flicking though your stimulus and you probably don’t care. So happy hunting. I am busy. When I need a sexual boost and I am at that point again I will net you know. 

Sex Goddess Gemma. 

TMI Tuesday – Roll with It


1. With whom would you like to take a bath?

Honestly I have never come across a bath that comfortably holds two people. So I would prefer to have my bath by myself. Showers however are a different story. My ideal shower partner would be someone like Channing Tatum. 

Like who wouldn’t want someone like that to wash your body before fucking you against the wall of the shower. 

2. You are, on a motorcycle, riding hard down a country road, wind in your hair. Who is the hottie on the bike with you? Are you riding or driving?

Riding definitely. The driver (that doesn’t seem to be the right term) would be Arnold Schwarzenegger of course as a Terminator. Because who wouldn’t like a terminator as your escort. 

3. Baking naked–who is kneading your dough? 😉

I gotta say that naked baking seems hazardous. Anything hot near naked bits makes me nervous. But I would definitely choose the sexiest celebrity chef, Nigella Lawson. 

4. Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me! Who is joining you for a sexy sea adventure?

I do enjoy the occasional sailing adventure with Mr Jones. Even though we have discussed it several times we have never been able to get third, or fourth, person to join us for some nude adult fun on the water. At the moment I am discussing the possibilities with a sexy guy I am seeing but given our track record of organising these events we will see what pans out.

5. “I got your back.” Hands down who do you fully support, stick by no matter what, Who are you willing to help at all costs?
Absolutely would have to be Mr Jones. If you can’t say that you will stick by your husband of 19 years then you have some serious issues. If you don’t stick together when you are raising teenagers then they will take over your life. 

Bonus: Belly button–inny or outty? Are you going to show us? 😀

My belly button is part of the area of my body that I like the least. If you want to see my belly button then who am I to argue with you? You are most welcome to visit my previous post, Sunday Selfie

Sunday Selfie

I took this photo to prove to a friend that I have not faded away to a shadow. Recently I have been “dieting” because I felt I needed to lose a certain amount of weight. I am very opposed to the idea of dieting and so my “diet” is really more of a much needed adjustment to eating habits. 

My friend is adamant that I don’t need to lose weight but my doctor thinks differently. I think my body will always tend towards the full and curvy type. Which I am becoming more comfortable with as I age. 

Belated Sunday Selfie

At a small social gathering on Saturday night a couple of women were discussing the changes that happened to their body when they turned 40. I was slightly amused to listen to their comments partly because they seemed to have the belief that the changes happened because they had passed their 40th birthday and partly because I was curious to investigate if these things applied to me. One of the changes that I was most concerned about was the idea that your breast fall completely to the side when you are lying down. My breasts have always been a source of vanity for me and I was pleased to notice that while there was some falling my nipples still point upwards rather than sideways. 

The photo above doesn’t really show this well but it does show a pleasing curve rather than flatness. Thank you very much pole dancing. 

You’re Joking… Right?

Recently I have joked to a couple of my chat friends that I am thinking about becoming celibate. They think the concept is hilarious. In their minds and probably in their fantasies I am still the sex goddess I was when they met me. I guess in some ways I am. In many others I am not.

The last couple of years have seen a lot of changes in my life. I think, finally, I have become a grownup. I have a real job; one where I have to be responsible all the time. I am currently the only person in my household that actually has a full time job so in some ways I am kind of the breadwinner. No not really, that would be too much grown up even for me. For the first time in a long time I am thinking about the future and the direction that I want to steer my life. Probably the most grown up thing a person can do. 

What, I hear you ask, have either of those things got to do with not being a sex goddess? The answer is actually not very much. Other than my headspace is not constantly occupied with thoughts or plans for the next adventure. Something that was a key part of being a sex goddess. These days when people ask me about my fucket list my answer is; “Fucket list, oh yeh I remember what one of those is”

I just realised; another key indicator of being a grown up, I use semi colons in my writing. Or is that a side effect of being a teacher? I don’t know but it a bit freaky, here I am pouring my heart out to the void of the Internet and I am ticking off grammar and sentence structure in my head. I need a really good fuck. 

So we were talking about fucket lists. I remember that I have often said I don’t like to have a specific list. But I guess that I kind of did. I kind of remember what was on it. Right now my fucket list consists of; have sex with my husband, have sex with Engineer X. Not necessarily in that order. Logistics seem to get in the way a lot these days. People think that having small children is a drag on your sex life. Those people really have no idea. Mainly because they are yet to experience having teenagers living with you. Small children don’t know, or care, if they walk in on you having sex. They are not scarred by the experience. What’s more they go to bed at a sensible hour meaning you can actually have pre sex on the couch before you start falling asleep. Teenagers don’t do that. They want to stay up and share their rubbish idea of what is good TV and make it awkward if you want to make sexy jokes with your husband. What’s worse is they don’t go to bed nice and early so that you can invite over some special people or when you get dressed to go out and meet said special people they ask all kinds of questions about where you are going. 

Actually my teenagers have kind of got the hint that asking too many questions is not a good idea so I guess I have trained them to a certain extent but it is still awkward getting out the door some days. Mr Jones is much more concerned about that kind of thing that me. I feel more comfortable being relatively candid. He does not. So we land somewhere in between which is, by definition, awkward. I guess I just have to keep telling myself that it is only temporary. Not that I am expecting them to move out but I am definitely not going to sugar coat things for my eighteen year old children just to spare them some awkwardness. That is just creating a rod for your own back. 

It seems I have worked through and dismissed my standard list of excuses for not being sexy enough so now I am left with a task; hang up my goddess cape or stop making excuses. My friends are right, hanging up the cape is a hilarious idea. Hilarious because it is so unlikely. And because I simply don’t want to. As much as Mr Jones is irritating me right now he is just going to have to get out his impressive junk and use it on me. Because a happy wife makes for a happy life and to be happier I need more sex in my life. 

Thanks for listening Internet Void, you are the best therapist ever. 

TMI Tuesday – Memory Lane

Home:1. Your current home: House? Apartment? Trailer? Condo? Other?

I live in a fairly idyllic place. A four bedroom house on 1.5 acres. For an ex farm girl who finds herself living in the city it is a perfect fit. I don’t have to see the neighbours when I go into the back yard plus I get to keep poultry. 

2. Which is bigger, your childhood home or your current home?

My childhood home was a farm house on 23, 000 acres. So in terms of land the childhood home was definitely bigger. The house was physically bigger but it was a bit higgeldy piggeldy so there was a lot of space that wasn’t used very well. 

3. Which is better childhood home or current home? Why?

Both of them have their pros and cons. But I prefer my current home. Mainly because I am happier here than I was at my childhood home. 

School:

4. What was your favorite subject in school? (consider high school, college, grad school). Why was this your favorite subject?

Definitely microbiology. I found the whole concept of a world of organisms that are invisible to the naked eye fascinating. 

5. Are you currently working in a field that you studied in college?

I am a science teacher which on the surface looks like I am working in the same field but in reality it is quite different. There are some aspects of the subjects I studied at university that are the same in this job but there are a plethora of other things that are not. Prior to starting this job I also completed a degree in education. I have to say that not very much of that degree really helped me get ready for the reality of teaching. 

Job:

6. Describe your first job.

My first job was as a research assistant a C.S.I.R.O. Which is the Australian government funded scientific body. I was very much at the bottom of the ladder in this place and I did all of the jobs that were beneath the real scientists working there. My experiences there formed my opinions about the attitudes and work ethic of government workers and since that job I have avoided working in government funded positions. 

7. What was your favorite job and why?

Prior to starting work as a teacher I managed a laboratory in a milk factory. Many of the staff there were awesome people. The factory was brand new and the company that built it was establishing its brand in a new area. This made the whole community of workers extremely tight. This changed as the factory grew but those first years were awesome. 

Bonus: What haven’t we talked about in TMI Tuesday that you would like to discuss?

A couple of things; travelling and fantasies, sexual of course. 

Make sure you hit up the TMI Tuesday page for more goodness

Looking Inwards

During the last school holidays (two weeks after Easter) I had grand plans of spending time writing more of my story to post on my “Corruption of Mrs Jones” page. I was feeling very positive and upbeat about life in general after spending a week pottering around a small beach community with my family. But, as the saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. I wrote a small amount and the rest of my time go swallowed up with things that seemed important at the time but right now I cannot remember what they were. 

In the past I would have beaten myself around the head with guilt at this failure to complete what I set out to do but I have learned to be more gentle with myself these days. Instead I noted it, and then got on with life. Rather I got on with letting life push me along at its whim. It wasn’t until I had a conversation with Mr Jones about a few things that are happening in our relationship that I realised this wasn’t the best pathway to choose. Our relationship is not suffering, in some ways it is stronger than ever. But the level of physical and emotional intimacy between us at the moment is very low. 

There are a number of reasons for this, related to what is happening in our house at the moment; 

  • Mr Jones’ parents have just moved in with us
  • We have two teenage children who take up a lot of our time and emotional energy 
  • For the first time in about seven years I am working full time.

All of these things of course ar the result of choices that we have both made about the direction of our lives. Having said that when we made these decisions we didn’t imagine that they would converge together in this way. Except maybe the parent moving in part. We knew that wasn’t going to be easy but we felt it was necessary. 

What we didn’t consciously choose to have going on was for me to develop depression. To be fair I am not contemplating death constantly nor am I self harming daily but I have noticed that I have a tendency to disengage from “real” life. This means I sleep a lot more than I really need to and also spend a lot of time doing pointless activity like gaming on my iPad. Sometimes I justify this as ‘me time’ but really it isn’t healthy. It also means I have disconnected from important people like Mr Jones to a certain extent.

After my chat with my husband about where we are at with our sex life I came to think about all of this as looking inwards. Depression is a very strange beast. To me, most of the symptoms and behaviours are things that I just need to tell myself to “get over it and get on with it” but I am learning as time goes on that it isn’t as simple as all that. Sometimes I do need to just buck up but sometimes I need to be a little more cunning with my approach and trick the black dog into letting go.

And so at this juncture I find myself searching for ways to look outwards more often. I can’t completely stop dead looking inwards because deciding to do that is setting myself up to fail. I just need to choose to look outwards more often. The form the outwards looking will take is not entirely clear in my mind. Like a lot of things in my life I will just have to make it up as I go along. I am not sure if all of this will enable me to continue to share my story but I hope that I will visit these pages more often to shre my musings as a kind of therapy. 

So here is to looking outwards and re-connecting with the world. Even just a little bit. 

Only Two Things in Life are Certain

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I am guessing it must be tax time in The United States as this is the topic of this week’s TMI. Not a particularly sexy topic but them’s the breaks.

I would encourage you to have a look at some of the other contributions this week as I am sure that they will be much more interesting than mine!

1. Are taxes levied where you live?
Absolutely. Australia has one of the highest levels of taxation in the world. The average Australian pays about 30% of their income directly as tax as well as a large range of other indirect taxes including Goods and Services Tax which is 10% of the price of all non-essential foods and services retailed here. So it would not be unreasonable to estimate that between 40 and 50% of our income is paid out in some form of tax.

For this astronomical amount of money we are privileged to have fully publicly funded health and education systems and a social welfare system that is more extensive than many other first world countries. No doubt much of our hard earned money gets wasted on beaurocracy but “such is life”

2. Do you pay your taxes?
Income tax in Australia is deducted directly from most people’s income by their employer before it is paid to them so a regular person who works for a company is generally unable to avoid paying that portion of their tax. Goods and Services tax is levied at the checkout and so again is unavoidable.

Of course there are ways to avoid paying income tax especially if you are self employed or a portion of your income is raised from investments but these are usually the domain of more wealthy people such as Kerry Packer

3. This year will you owe taxes or do you expect a refund?
Sadly I will not be receiving a refund. Most employers are careful only to deduct the necessary amount of tax required. In addition our family investments mean that I usually owe the Australian Taxation Office a certain amount of money.

4. Have you already filed your taxes?
Our financial / taxation year ends on 30 June. So we don’t have to lodge our tax return for a few months yet.

5. You are getting a tax refund, which ONE of these would you most likely do with the money?
a. pay off credit cards
b. contribute to retirement savings
c. go on vacation
d. shop for something (car, clothes, household items, etc)

As a rule we don’t plan for windfalls like tax returns and so any money that come from such things just gets put into the general slush fund. I guess you could call it saving for retirement.

6. Sometimes you just need to be frivolous, and if you get a windfall from a tax refund, which of ONE of these things would you most likely do? Why?
a. have a big party
b. loan it to family or a friend
c. spend a weekend at an adults-only erotic resort
d. gamble (Lottery tickets, casino)

Of course spend it at an adults – only erotic resort. It is an experience that I have yet to have but it is definitely on my fucket list.

Bonus: If you could be a circus performer, which act would you be? (I know, soooo random!)
You are right, very random. I guess given my real life past time of pole dancing I would be some kind of acrobatic performer maybe flying trapeze. On the other hand I think and elephant trainer would also be a pretty cool thing to be.

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