TMI Tuesday – All the Colours of the Rainbow

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This week’s questions were provided by Virtual Sin

From your life, tell us about an object, experience or idea related to each of the colors of the spectrum:

1. Red
Recently one of my students made the astute observation that red must be one of my favourite colours because I wear so much of it. I wasn’t aware of wearing red that often but clearly this young man was more observant than I thought. I think his ideas were slightly biased by a pair of bright red boots that I was wearing during winter that drew many comments from more than one of my students.

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2. Orange
The first thing that comes into my mind when I think of the colour orange is the soft drink Fanta. It isn’t a drink that I particularly drink very often but as it is a sister product to Coca Cola it has had some pretty good television ads in the past.

3. Yellow
When my son was around four years old his favourite colour was yellow. I remember once during a meditation at the end of a Yoga class we were asked to visualise a person who made us happy and then to visualise the colour that reminded us of them. Without any conscious effort my son came to mind and I associated him with the colour yellow. He is a happy soul and even now, ten years later, he takes great delight in making people happy.

4. Green
When my husband and I purchased our first house together we found a property that ticked a lot of boxes. The house was twice the size of the house we were living in at the time and it was quite new. In addition it had a fantastic swimming pool. The drawback, the entire interior was painted a very attractive cucumber green. To emphasise their choice of wall colour the owners had furnished their house with blue and green furniture. We did end up buying the house on the condition that the interior would be repainted as soon as possible. To this day I am thankful that the floor coverings and bathroom tiles were not green as well.

5. Blue
One of my favourite places to be is near the ocean, particularly when the water is crystal clear and has that blue colour that you see, particularly around the Pacific. There is just something magical about white sand and deep blue water that makes me think of holidays and fantastic snorkelling.

6. Violet
I am currently working on a story line and background story for my 2014 NaNoWriMo attempt. One of the things I have problems with when I am writing is coming up with names for my characters. However after reading this I am thinking that this year’s main character will be named Violet.

Bonus: What is the color of sex?
In my mind I sex has sounds, smells, a multitude of images, tastes and of course a wide range of sensations. However I have never really considered sex having a colour.

As always if you want more TMI goodness you can always visit the TMI page.

Marraige

Hot on the heels of a TMI post from a couple of weeks back I had a conversation with a prospective play partner who I will refer to as “Army Guy” in this and future posts. I hope things pan out with this one (unlike some others in recent times) but I digress. Army Guy is in his own words “single and loving it” and “Couldn’t think of anything worse” than being married. Once I met him in person he went on to explain that his job requires him to deal with relationship issues of the people around him and that he had certain ambitions he wanted to fulfil in life. In his opinion having a relationship is simply going to hinder him achieving his goals.

I was a little saddened by his attitude and found it a bit a confronting. Afterwards I reflected on his words and I realised that he was, in some ways at least, right. I wouldn’t be lying to say that being married and having children certainly prevented me from achieving certain ambitions that I had earlier in my life. But failing to reach these ambitions has opened the door to a whole other range of possibilities that I would not have considered as a young single person.

Some of these possibilities are things that I probably wouldn’t have been able to achieve as a single person. Between 2008 and now I have explored some of the most iconic parts of Australia with my family. I had experiences that will live with me forever and I learned through experience and first hand observation a lot of things that I find sharing with my students now.

Other achievements include amassing an investment portfolio that is not hugely impressive but certainly will allow Mr Jones and I to live comfortably for many years into our retirement. This is not something I would ever had a hope of achieving as a single person. It is also something that Mr Jones would not have been able to achieve as a single person either. Building our life together has been one of the great achievements of my life.

Of course my prospective fuckbuddy is a very independent kind of person. For him the idea of being reliant on someone else for his success is possibly quite foreign if not a little frightening. And of course that is fine for him. The thing that I find unacceptable is when people insist on achieving their goals their own way and still being in a marriage. In our world today people seem to forget that marraige is not the White wedding, perfect house and 2.3 perfectly behaved children. For me marriage is two people building their lives together. In the process they hold each other up and work as a team so that in the end the sum becomes much greater than any of the individual parts could ever be.

I think we don’t celebrate that enough in our culture. We have become so obsessed with self that we have forgotten that we are part of the world. One of the great strengths of the human race is the ability to network and form relationships. But the true value of these relationships is only realised when we forget what we can get out of the relationship but instead focus on what we can give to the other person.

TMI Tuesday – Discussion Points

Special thanks for this week’s questions were put together by the ever loving Hedone and Sin Doll

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1. What do you collect?
My mother is notorious for starting craft projects and never finishing them. Her house is bursting at the seams with fabric that has never been used, wool and a myriad of other craft projects. As a result I grew up determined not to have a house full of junk.

As I get older I am realising that this is a bit of a futile endeavour and I find myself periodically doing battle with junk and ruthlessly disposing of clothing and other momentoes. I have been ruthlessly devoted to only starting projects that I can finish and at the same time find a use for.

However a joke that I often use in response to this question is I collect chocolate cake recipes. A good chocolate cake is as good as sex… Sometimes.

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2. What do you do for fun?
Hmmm the fact that I struggle to answer this question kind of shows that I need to spend a bit more time on just purely having fun for the sake of it. At the moment my primary fun activity is having sex. I have recently been focussing on purely on my own pleasure and taking advantage of opportunities as they present themselves. It is a journey and it is taking me down some unexpected alleys.

3. Name a place that’s fun for you to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there.
I will have to say Darwin. I visited there in 2010 and absolutely loved the laid back atmosphere and the awesome winter climate. It is a truly beautiful place but I definitely wouldn’t want to live there. The climate in the summer is not that much fun and I am sure if I lived there for any length of time it would start to feel very much like a large small town.

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4. Do you believe in revenge? And 5. Do you believe in forgiveness and do you forgive and forget?
I am very much a live and let live kind of person. I also have massive issues with confrontation. Generally if some one wrongs me badly I will retreat and cut that person out of my life. If it is a minor transgression I tend to gloss over it and get over it in my own time. So I guess I do forgive in a way but I wouldn’t say that I forget.

I believe very much in karma though and I have to admit that I have been secretly (OK not always so much) happy when I discover that someone who has hurt me badly in the past has experienced a misfortune of their own. I don’t think that counts exactly as revenge but it definitely does scratch the itch.

6. Are you religious? spiritual? Atheist?
I am a practising Catholic but I don’t count myself as religious. More of a spiritual person. I am interested in spiritual practices and ideas in Buddhism and Taoism and have practised Yoga in the past. There is no ‘one fits all’ religion in the world. As humans we have an obligation to look after ourselves, each other and the world we live in. Religion is many people’s way of deciding how that should happen but at the end of the day religion is a man made phenomenon and so has inherent flaws. Faith and spirituality are more personal and a much greater reflection of the person you are.

Bonus: What’s your routine every night just before you go to sleep?
Simple, clean my teeth, get undressed and fall into bed. If I am not completely exhausted and I have Mr Jones available and willing then there will be sex. Like everything in my life it is a very go with the flow kind of process.

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As always make sure you head over to the TMI Tuesday page to get some more TMI goodness

Body Image Part 2

I am not sure if I have mentioned this but I pole dance for fun and fitness.

When people hear the words pole dancing there are a few stereotypes that spring to mind. The first one is stripping. Unfortunately the classic image of a pole dancer is a woman in seven inch heels taking her clothes off while winding her body around a pole. There are women who do this and the majority of them get paid quite well but the modern phenomenon that is pole dancing is not about removing clothes it is about athleticism and gymnastics. Don’t believe me? Head on over to You Tube and look up some videos of Chelle Hafner or Jenyne Butterfly.

I will admit that the thing that I was looking for when I took my first class was the sexy dancing and the hope that I would learn to be as alluring as a stripper one day. I was very disappointed after an hour of strengthening and gymnastics style training with absolutely no dancing.

The second thing that springs to a lot of people’s minds when they think about pole dancing classes is a culture of young, attractive, flexible women with fantastic bodies. I will agree that there some pole dancers like that and there are definitely studios that cultivate that kind of clientele. But there are studios that don’t. On the whole I have found the pole dancing community to be one of the most accepting, empowering and encouraging communities to be around.

Being involved with pole dancing has been one of the key factors in my current ability to be mostly naked in a room full of strangers. This is because of the acceptance of everyone regardless of their size and shape. My current instructor is a wonderful supportive, encouraging person who fully embraces the idea that pole is all about your individual journey. She is the person that has convinced me that taking more than a year to invert confidently was not a shortcoming is was just how it was with me. She is also the person who has encouraged me to see that anything is achievable with enough work.

Going back to my experiences that I discussed in part one of this series I had an opportunity that evening to reflect on reverse body discrimination. As I already told you the evening was challenging for me because I felt that I was in the definite minority of people larger than size 10 getting naked in front of a crowd. There were of course women in the crowd who were supportive of me and as time went on I felt I was a little like the ‘big girl’s’ champion. What was a little distressing about the bigger girl’s group was their animosity towards the smaller women in the room.

I found myself correcting some of their negative and acrimonious comments towards some of these women trying to encourage a culture of acceptance of all body shapes. It is true that smaller more beautiful women definitely get more attention and in a lot of ways their life is easier but sometimes bigger people forget that these women experience as much negativity as they do. When they started spouting their negative comments had no comprehension that their attitude was exactly the same as the discrimination they hate receiving every day. Body acceptance is not just about being less offensive to fat people it is about accepting people exactly the way they are, whoever they are.

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We are the product of our life experiences and we get out of life what we put in. It doesn’t matter what size we are. If we are negative all the time we will have a shitty life. In my experience that is how things work. When we see other people around us making choices we think are wrong or stupid we are only glimpsing a small part of their lives. For the most part we have absolutely no idea of what his happening with them. Wether we are tall, short, wide or thin we are all on a journey and we owe it to each other to remember that and cut each other some slack occasionally.

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Body Image Part 1

Recently I found myself at a swingers club participating in and spectating at an amateur strip competition. The club owners conceived the competition to encourage their patrons to get up and strut their stuff all in the name of good fun. The general idea was complete acceptance of all body shapes and confirmation of the appeal of all people whatever their shape and size. Unfortunately for me I chose to enter on the same night that a whole lot of young bendy sexy things were in attendance and I found myself wondering what I had been thinking when I put my name down to do this.

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I had decided to do a duo with a friend and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. Her partner and mine also enjoyed our performance as well. Which at the end of the day was all that really mattered to either of us. Once the younger more stereotypically attractive girls took over we decided that we would find something more interesting to do than hear what we already knew, that we didn’t win.

In one way it was disappointing I kinda hoped that there would be some kind of triumph of real bodies over young bendy bodies. The younger women had lacked showmanship and their appeal was based mainly around the attractiveness of their bodies, not around how they entertained the crowd. Typically, their friends and supporters were enthusiastic in their support of them but didn’t even bother to watch the other competitors.

Earlier in the day I had shopped with a vague notion of finding a new sexy club dress to wear to the event, I have put on a small amount of weight recently. I hadn’t really given it much consideration but I found myself in change room mirror after change room mirror admitting that the dress that looked great on the rack did not have enough room for my boobs and sometimes my ass.

I am not large by any stretch of the imagination but in stores that sell the kinds of clothes I was looking for stock mainly size 8. There isn’t much hope for a size 12 to 14 woman. What rubbed salt even deeper into the wound was that the stores stocking size 12 – 14 were also about sensible mumsy fashion. Not about cleavage and short skirts. The take home message I got from that? I am too old and too fat to wear sexy clothes.

In the aftermath of my failed shopping, dealing with sexy women with perfectly pert breasts and firm, smooth asses made me begin to wonder if I was the sex goddess that I perceived myself to be. I began to question the things that Mr Jones and other men told me and started to think that their compliments were just ruses to get into my pants. I started to believe that I was just another fat old lady.

It is strange how much ego stroking we all crave. Clearly I am a sexy beast, Men (and women) did notice me. More than one man (and woman) expressed a desire to have sex with me; so clearly I am attractive, But even such rational thinking was not convincing my self esteem. Somehow the small voice of self – doubt was screaming louder than the calm voice of reason. I was like a drug addict craving the next hit

A couple of years ago I was completely confident in myself. Now I find myself wondering. Spending the evening comparing myself to women who were much younger than me was definitely not doing anything to improve my self confidence. Just as the only real way to feel good about yourself is to truly believe in yourself the most efficient way to feel bad about yourself is to spend an evening comparing yourself convince yourself that you don’t measure up to other people around you.

Eventually the rational part of my brain managed to gain control. Yes the young bendy blonde was hot and all the guys were ogling her. But only in the same sort of way they look at models in a magazine. I am never going to be one of them. Maybe once I was but it must have been in an alternative universe because I don’t remember it. I don’t truly believe that I am a stunning sex goddess but enough people out there seem to. So it must be true on some level. Today I am in the process of re-convincing myself. If I tell myself enough, then one day I might just believe it.

 

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I am a very black and white person. I like things to be consistent and I hate it when things don’t fit into the category that I have given them previously. Of course this has caused me endless grief throughout my life. I have not been able to get my head around friends who do things that irritate me because at the time I didn’t understand that being friends with someone did not meat I had to like EVERYTHING about that particular person. I have spent an unreasonable amount of time considering wether I should work for certain companies because I had ethical issues with some of their practices. The list goes on and on.

One of the major issues I have had is the conflict between my feeling that I should be a ‘good girl’ but what my soul wants is nothing more than to be a ‘bad girl’. For a lot of my life I was ashamed of my predilection for short skirts, low cut dresses and big come fuck me boots. I didn’t realise that my mother and the world I grew up in was not only wrong but also hypocritical. For better or worse I was determined to be Mrs Jones; the perfect good girl who was always dressed appropriately and behaved as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.

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As I grew up I began to give in to the dark side. I sometimes bought clothing that wasn’t exactly appropriate. I had sexual relationships that taught me that enjoying sex was not dirty. My marraige to Mr Jones has helped this process along considerably and today I find myself acknowledging that the good girl part of my personality and the bad girl part of my personality can co-exist in the same body.

And so Gemma Jones was born. In her fullest expression Gemma is not a bad girl, she is a Sex Goddess. She is comfortable with her body, who she is and knows what she wants out of life. Gemma is not plagued with doubts or concerns about what other people think about her. And most importantly she is happy.

For a few years I was able to live in Gemma mode pretty much all the time. But that was just a small window in time while I studied. Inevitably the degree I was studying was completed and I was faced with the reality of using the qualification I had just spent so many sleepless nights agonising over.

The career I had chosen meant that I would be working with teenagers. A frustrating, stressful and very rewarding field but not one that is populated with open minded people. It is unlikely that most of my colleagues or the parents of my students would be open minded enough to accept some of my more unconventional lifestyle choices,

And so now I find myself living the classic double life trying to stop my bad girl side from bleeding into my good girl life. I am an honest person. It is incredibly difficult for me to maintain a lie over an extended period. And so it is only a matter of time before Gemma makes an appearance. I can only hope she doesn’t do anything too inappropriate.

TMI Tuesday

I have been a long time contributor to TMI Tuesday as Gemma Jones, posting my contributions on my other blog. Recently I have felt that the questions have not really fitted with my idea of what that blog is about. They do, however, sit nicely with what I would like this page to become. And so, here is the first post TMI post from Corrupting Mrs Jones.

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For each of the categories listed below, imagine that a new business or event of that type opened in your area. Tell us whether you would check it out or attend; and, whether you would go alone, with friends of your gender, or with a significant other/lover. Expound on your answer as much as you’d like.

1. Sports Bar: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I am a little unsure just what exactly a Sports Bar is. I feel that the Australian definition of Sports Bar is a little different from the US one. In Aus Sports Bars are the section of a hotel that does play sports on a television in the corner but the focus of the action is often the pool tables and or the topless waitresses that are known to work there on Friday afternoons. Generally these places attract yobbo type guys and aren’t the best places for women to hang out alone. The only time that I can imagine myself going to one of those places would be to meet a potential playmate as a prelude to more adult entertainment.

2. Brew pub or beer hall: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
Again I am not really sure of exactly what Hedone and Virtual Sin are meaning by this kind of thing so I am going to pass on this one. I will comment, pubs and beer really aren’t my kind of thing and therefore I am unlikely to want to go to something like this either with myself or anyone else,

3. Wine Festival: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
This is more like it! I can see myself heading along to something like this with friends and or my significant other or even both of them together. Nothing like a glass of good wine to lubricate your conversation. Although I would be very careful to avoid the wine snobs. Even after a few glasses of wine that kind of person still annoys me the difference being that after a few glasses I am more likely to say something that will leave them in no doubt about what is on my mind.

4. Tanning Salon: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I am starting to think I don’t have a lot in common with our esteemed authors. Again this is not a place I would consider visiting. I live in sunny Australia. I don’t have a need to tan in a studio. Besides like all good Australians I have been well educated about the long term dangers of tanning in relation to skin cancer.

5. Sex/kink event (e.g. Dark Odyssey, Sexapalooza, Leather conferences, fetish ball, kinky salon): never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
This is definitely the kind of place that I would take Mr Jones to!!! If I had a play friend who was into the same things as me then I might take them along as well. Either that or make some new ones at the event.

6. Strip club: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I have never visited a strip club, alone or with others. It is however a place I am infinitely curious about. I have never worked up the nerve to visit one but I think I may make a resolution to pay a visit to one at my upcoming birthday celebrations. Besides they say that strippers are more likely to hook up with women. I think I should do some personal research into that theory

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7. Sex toy store: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I actually love poking around in sex toy stores either alone or with Mr Jones. I can’t think of a single friend, vanilla or otherwise that I wouldn’t feel a bit weird about taking to a place like this.

8. Upscale Spa: never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
I am not a person who has a lot of girly friends that I hang out with regularly. So I can’t imagine the two besties chatting at a spa scenario for me. I think I would feel the most comfortable about visiting something like this alone.

9. Adult Sex education conference (e.g. Eroticon, CatalystCon): never, alone, with friends, with your SO?
In the interests of not driving another person completely nuts with my enthusiasm sex education ideas and passion about getting reliable factual information into people’s heads I think I would probably attend this event alone. Besides, when you are alone at a conference you are more likely to network and meet other people with the same passion and enthusiasm.

Can’t get enough TMI goodness? Make sure you check out all of the other posts at the TMI Tuesday page.