Don’t Tell Me to Shhh

This week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt is Fore- and Afterplay. When I think about these words I think of a few different things. In the world of sex foreplay is talked about a lot. Stereotypically a lot of men are bad at it.

Of course some men are better than others. I think it is directly related to how selfish he is. The more focussed he is on his pleasure the less he is going to focus on hers. I have experienced a lot of different versions of this but something recently became clear to me.

I am a squirter. This is not something I hide. It is something I have mixed feelings about though. I am self conscious about the mess. I am also conscious that a bed that has been covered with vaginal ejaculate can smell a bit ordinary the next day. I am also conscious that some people don’t like it. Having your face covered in vaginal ejaculate is not some people’s idea of fun.

For the majority of men however it is a dream come true. Whilst I have had the occasional lover recoil and politely move to another activity which doesn’t involve their face being covered a more frequent happening is true enthusiasm for the experience. Both Johnny and JB LOVED the feeling of being covered in my juice. They could never get enough.

After being told “I don’t mind it because it means you are enjoying yourself,” while being fingered in a mediocre way. I realised that trying to hold back that bodily function to suit someone else’s ideas of what is fun is not how I roll. After sucking several men to climax and being complimented the whole time about my skill but without reciprocation I have decided that is also not how I roll.

Most men like the way I suck them. I deserve for the pleasure to be reciprocated. I will squirt, at least a small amount, that is how I am built. If that is not your thing then you are not the one for me.

Sorry, not sorry.

The other thing about me is that I can be noisy. Actually if I am not making noise I am probably not enjoying myself. I was shushed recently. For no good reason. We were in a hotel room in a city where neither of us worked or frequented. There was absolutely NO reason for me to be quiet. I told my partner to get over himself.

In the washup (afterplay?) he tried to explain why he did that. It didn’t change my feelings. In fact his explanation and process of pressuring me to state explicitly what I was unhappy about so that he could rebut and justify and explain himself was the exact opposite of good afterplay.

The only thing that was good about it was that it cemented some things in my mind.

  1. If you don’t like me squirting on your face then I am not interested. I don’t judge you but I am not prepared to compromise.
  2. If you are going to shush me I will put my pants on and go home… I won’t be coming back.

This post is part of Wicked Wednesday Prompt #445 Fore- and Afterplay. Click on the image below to find out who else is being wicked.

TMI Tuesday – The Bad Sex Edition

It is TMI bonus week. When I went to write my post for this week I discovered a half written post from s couple of weeks ago. At the time I discarded it because it put me in a bad headspace. Today however I have reclaimed myself, I am woman hear me roar! So read my words and hopefully learn from my experiences. 

1. Have you ever had bad sex? Why do you think it was bad?I have indeed had some bad sex in my life. The first time I had sex was a real let down. The guy had a big dick, he had no idea I was a virgin and I was a notch on his bedpost. It was never going to end well. 

Since then I have had probably way too much bad sex. Mainly as a result of me not speaking up and saying no when I should have. I have a chronic problem with needing to please people and this leads to me giving them what they want even when it is hurting me emotionally and physically. As I get older I am getting better at saying no and, more importantly, the people around me are getting better at recognising the signs when I am giving more than I should. 
2. Have you ever given bad sex? Why did that happen?

See above. I can’t think of many times when my partner has walked away unsatisfied but I am sure my dissatisfaction with the situation rubs off sometimes. 

3. What instantly puts you in a bad mood?

Earlier in my marraige sex became a commodity that was given out to keep the peace. I guess it was symptomatic of a lot of other unspoken things that were happening at the time. Also it was a result of my screwed up Catholic upbringing. What ever the reason I got into the habit of giving ‘mercy sex’. This kind of sex gave little pleasure for me and the feeling of seeing someone get pleasure from my body without any of that feeling for me was an instant mood killer.  

4. Have you been hurt during a sexual activity? What was the activity? How were you hurt or injured?

Emotionally I have been hurt a lot (see above). Physically not so much. Sometimes there has been discomfort during sex but I am generally careful to not be physically harmed. I guess I have been fortunate, or careful, not have chosen a partner that will hurt me physically. 

5. During sex, what instantly turns you off?

There are a few things that are mood killers when in the flirting stage. One of these is body odour and other is cigarette odour. Once the clothes start to come off body odour again can become an issue. Especially if a guy has a lot of pubic hair and it has that smell that happens when it isn’t clean. Another thing that is a mood killer for me is when a guy is sweating a lot and it drips off his face onto mine. I hate it. 

6. Bad sex–is there really such a thing?

Ohhh yes!!!! I think I have described a few situations in this post. Other things that can result in bad sex;

  • A small penis. I know it is politically incorrect but I am picky about size. It doesn’t have to be massive but if it is smaller than average then you better know how to use it!
  • A malfunctioning penis. Guys this is the age of medical enhancement. Situations involving onlookers or unfamiliar surroundings WILL cause issues. Get some viagra.
  • Not being comfortable. I am not necessarily talking about unfamiliar situations more like not being confident that you are attractive or being made to feel like you are just a living breathing sex doll. It may work for some but not for me.

Bonus: Biting during sex–

a. do you like it?

When I am a little bit aroused on gentle biting around my neck is a huge turn on. 

b. do you do it?

I must admit I do. In an encounter with pet I got a bit carried away with biting and left some significant bruises. What surprised me about that situation was how turned on I got by doing it. 

For more TMI goodness head to the TMI page.