TMI Tuesday – Only Boring People Get Bored

1. When was the last time you Ate Vanilla Slice ? (Now answer your question).

It has been a couple of weeks. I do love a good vanilla slice. Recently I shared one with a Twitter follower. This innocent coffee morning turned into an unexpected embrace and kiss in the carpark and some “relax time” together. I have enjoyed my time with him since then.

2. I’m bored, what should I do?

Only boring people get bored. So get your shit together and find something to entertain yourself or I will give you a menial task like cleaning the bathroom or re-folding the contents of my linen closet.

3. Who is the smartest person you know? Why do you say this?

The pharmacist is a pretty smart guy. He is fond of a pun and also a corny one liner. But in all seriousness the amount of random information he spouts blows my mind sometimes. I am grateful it is usually stuff I am interested in like biology and stuff. I am glad it isn’t physics or politics.

4. Are you awesome?

Of course! My list of talents is long but includes giving amazing blow jobs and being a firecracker in bed. Plus I have awesome boobs and an amazing arse. I am the complete package!

5. If you could take any reality show off the air, which one would it be?

All of them! Life is too short to spend much of it watching other people in contrived “reality” situations. Get out there and live people!

Bonus: After making a claim like the one above I guess I have to prove my point.

Boobs and arse. Two for one!

Perfect Sunset

Over the last twelve months #boatlife has been a struggle. La Niña has not been kind to those who live on the Eastern Seaboard of Australia. Summer was very wet. Winter has been wet, windy and cold. And now we have been informed that we will have a third consecutive year of La Niña.

But sometimes the sun shines and the days are perfect. I was lucky enough to have one of those. I was even luckier to have good friends to share it with. After a day of paddle boarding, unexpected discovery of coral in Moreton Bay, climbing sand dunes and spectacular blue water we had a gorgeous sunset to go with our drinks.

Thank you to Mr Jones for taking the perfect shot.

Suddenly all of those cold wet days seem insignificant.

Sinful Sunday

TMI Tuesday – Grudges and Misdirected Mail

Photo by Jiawei Zhao on Unsplash

1. Confession booth. Confess two things right here on TMI Tuesday.

I love perving at dad bods. My twitter timeline is full of them. Current favourites @midwestdadbod, @preacherbear, @filoufilou

2. I am guilty of _____ .

Eating too much chocolate.

3. A big box is delivered to you. The address is correct but the name on the label is not you. Do you open the box?

Kind of tempting but I will admit I am too much of a goody two shoes to open it. I would probably try and return it to the sender.

4. How long have you held a grudge?

Until I don’t. Sometimes that can be a few hours, sometimes a lifetime. I recently had my first experience of having to block an ex-friend on social media. It didn’t sit well with me and while I would like to think I won’t be seeing her in my life again there is part of me that is not entirely convinced.

5. Does anyone have a grudge against you? Why?

See above! What the grudge exactly is for I am not entirely sure. A collection of things I think related to her twisted perception of the world.

Bonus: There is this one thing in my life I wish I had not done. I wish I had not _____ .

Let my mother take over my wedding. I was young, she had controlled my life mostly up to that point. I let her dictate most of the aspects of it and I regret it completely. So much so that I considered having a “do-over” on my 25th anniversary.

Bonus Bonus

After so much serious stuff there has to be boobs!

o

Snatching Sunshine

Last year Mr Jones and I spent six months living on our yacht cruising the coast of Queensland. We had many adventures and shared our story in both our Vanilla and our Spicy world. #travellingboob was a feature of our journey and appeared on Twitter and also in Sinful Sunday. Since then we have had several short stays on board around Moreton Bay which is close to our home but we were looking forward to the two weeks of the June / July school holidays hoping to travel a little way north to warmer climes and sunshine to work on my fading tan.

Sadly things did not go to plan. It has been chilly and the sunshine was intermittent for the first couple of days before disappearing completely. I was lucky enough to grab a few moments of sunshine so I will share it with you.

Boob Day

Thirty Dirty Questions – Question 29

Have you ever (or would you ever) tried role play? What roles are you drawn to?

Role play is not something that comes to mind when I think of things I would like to try. The idea of dressing in a specific way that is dictated by someone else and pretending to be a specific character has never applied to me. As much as I enjoy the atmosphere of theatre I have never had the desire to be on a stage.

And then I started pole dance. 

On my first visit to a swingers club I watched a woman dance for her husband and lover on a pole. I remember thinking I would never be confident enough to do that. Somewhere the scales tipped. After the first time I climbed that stage and put my hand on that brass I was hooked. The power of looking a man or woman in the eye as I present my arse to them. Or as I give them a flash of my pussy is addictive. 

I have amazing boobs. There is no denying it. In appropriate environments I love getting them out for the world to see. From strippers and great boobs my ultimate role play fantasy was born. To work as a stripper / topless waitress for a room of selected people. Lap dances are available, touching is allowed. 

I just need someone who is willing to fork out for the ultimate accessory for the event, the shoes.

Every Damn Day in June

In the Dark

A few months ago, when it was warmer, I was sunbathing on the front deck as we sailed to Moreton Island. A friend, we shall call him the Party Boat Man, went past with a raging party happening on deck. Most of the party people were young men. I covered up because I didn’t really want THAT much attention but as they went past I saw Party Boat Man on deck and I flashed him.

Honestly, I didn’t think it was that much of a big deal. But apparently it was. He didn’t believe that these boobs are completely natural and surgically unaltered. It has become a bit of a thing. Yesterday we saw him in the distance and there was a flurry of text messages with a few moments of him trying to chase us down to get another flash.

Then at 1.30am I get a message; “Titties??” In the dark I took this shot.

I was surprised at how well it came out given I had no idea what the camera was seeing.

Of course he was not happy with just one but that is a story for another day.

Boob Day
Every Damn Day in June

Let There be Boobs

I never considered myself an erotic photographer. I avoided the temptation to post in Sinful Sunday for the longest time. Mostly because I didn’t think I was capable of creating images that were worthy and I don’t consider myself a photographer. Then #travellingboob happened. I am unashamed to say I am proud of my boobs. They are completely natural and as Mrs Fix It observed about my nipples recently “you can dial a phone with those puppies!” So I am kind of keen to be part of Boobday. I am not promising artsy shots. But there will be boobs. And below is my first entry.

Boob Day

The Travelling Boob

I have posted about #travellingboob before. It is a project that Mr Jones and I created as we travelled to some spectacular places along the Queensland Coast. #travellingboob has its own little following and it has been really fun to engage with. I am proud of my boobs and getting them out to show off has been fun. I am expecting to be officially at the end of my journey in a little over a week so #travellingboob will be a little quiet for a while. In the meantime enjoy a montage of spectacular scenery

This post is part of this week’s MMMMonday. For more MMM click on the button below

mmmMondays

All of us love a little wickedness. There is plenty to be had at Wicked Wednesday.

Wicked Wednesday

TMI Tuesday – Strangeness

1. If you had to lick a stranger’s sweaty armpit everyday for the rest of your life to save the life of your significant other would you do it? (Thank you Master of None).

Mr Jones thinks this is a stupid question. His response? Of course!! I don’t want Gemma to die! My response? EEEEWWW but of course I don’t want him to die either.

2. What is something you escaped from?

Many years ago I was in a job that I really loved for a long time. After I returned to work from my second round of maternity leave the management team had undergone a huge restructure and things were very different. Being stubborn I refused to see the writing on the wall and got into a very nasty situation with my manager. In the end things got really bad and I left the industry completely. It turned out to be one of the best things I could have done because it gave me the opportunity to do some amazing things with my family.

3. Have you ever done an Escape Room game with strangers? Did you solve it and get out on time?

I have not had the chance to try an escape room with anyone stranger or otherwise.

4. What is the strangest/craziest DM you have received?

I always struggle to answer this type of question. I know I get weird messages from people a lot of the time but I mostly delete them and move on. I think the ones that make me sit back with my eyebrows up are men requesting to be dominated.

I don’t have a problem with dominating men per se but a DM from a stranger that reads, “hey you look hot would you like to peg my arse?” Is a bit much for a first introduction.

Amazon.com: Strap-on Pure Two-Layer Silicone Dildo, Soft Outside and Firm  Inside Penis Replacement Strap-Ons with Strong Suction Cup Real Dong,  Lesbian Masturbating, 33.5 cm Long Ø6 cm, Removable,Black: Home & Kitchen

5. Do you DM strangers? Why?

On the dating app I use, yes. That is how those apps work. If you are signed up and get all precious because a stranger sent you a message you have much bigger problems!

On regular social media, no. If we have interacted in a group or something like that then we aren’t really strangers anymore.

6. Do you watch “Stranger Things” on Netflix?

I have watched it in the past but only because Mr Jones was watching it. Not because I sought it out.

Bonus: Because there can never be enough boobs in the world.

TMI Tuesday – Down and Dirty

Image by Achim Thiemermann from Pixabay

1. Your first night out after covid19 lock-down and you catch a friend making a drunken pass at your significant other. Which of the following most mirrors your feelings or thoughts?

a. Ignore it, they are drunk off their ass.
b. Alcohol is a truth serum, true feelings come out and this false friend is after my honey.
c. Well, my babe is pretty hot so I can’t blame them for making a move.
d. After a year of lock-down, people are likely to flirt with a lamp-post. It is no big deal.
e. Hmmm, I wonder if this friend is up for a threesome?

The response to this question depends on a lot of factors. If we are at lifestyle event then my response would wander between c and e depending on how attracted I was to her.

If it was a vanilla event then I would be firmly at c. Mr Jones has dated women from our vanilla life before. He had a great time and it was very validating for him. I was not as enthused about the relationship and had to put her in her place a couple of times. For the record we are still polite to each other but the situation kind of killed any friendship she and I had.

2. True or False. I am so bored with vanilla sex?

Well who wouldn’t be? The only time vanilla is valid is when you are eating ice cream

3. Is it unreasonable to hope for mind-blowing sex when you have been together for several years?

Erm No! It is unreasonable to expect mind blowing sex every day in any kind of relationship but there should be mind blowing sex some times. I am very spoiled. I get to have sex with multiple partners and generally that turns out pretty mind blowing but there are still times when Mr Jones and I get it together pretty well.

4. Name two things that could doom your current romantic relationship?

We have been together for 22 years. I am not sure there is much that could kill it now. The only things that I can think of that would kill our marriage are things that I can’t possibly imagine Mr Jones ever doing. The kinds of things that are likely to cause a problem are the little things that erode trust over time. Those things are hard to identify.

5. A local sex educator is holding orgasm classes–as in how to give an orgasm. Would you sign up to be a student or be the demonstration model?

You know what? I would be the fucking educator.

Bonus: May 18 is World No Dirty Dishes Day. How will you celebrate?

I clicked the link and I don’t really get it. But for the record I celebrated the day by having breakfast, climbing a mountain, and spending the rest of the afternoon lounging, and writing my TMI post of course!!!. I will be making dinner and Mr Jones will be washing the dishes.

Bonus Bonus: A shot taken from the top of said mountain

To see who else is sharing their dirty dishes this week click on the button below

TMI Tuesday blog