I have probably written about this topic before but I was inspired to pen this because of a post by The Zen Nudist about rape. Although it is not anywhere as extreme as rape there is something about the unsolicited dick pic that I, and many women, find invasive and confronting. Don’t get me wrong, I love penises. I love to look at them, I love to inspect them in the minutest detail, I love to suck them, I love them inside me. What I don’t love is having one shoved in my face when I am innocently going through my day and my message notification pings. I don’t understand why men do it. In a way it is sad that men have distilled their attractiveness to women to such a small (no pun intended) part of them.There are many parts of men that are attractive. I am a sucker for a nice arse. I even have Twitter friends who send me great shots of their arse, after invitation. Things like this. This is hot after you have made a connection, had a conversation etc. There are plenty of ways to entice and intrigue which for me makes attraction stronger. I can’t speak for all women of course but based on conversations I have had with female friends who are dating most women seem to feel the same way as me. Sending uninvited pictures of your dick to women is NOT acceptable behaviour EVER. As I stated in my opening comments it is invasive, offensive and sometimes just plain weird.There are plenty of ways to present your package that are alluring and damn sexy something like this;Or this;So guys, take note. You are more than your naked protruding penis. Show some creativity and remember that less is often more.
The Colombian is very keen on having ‘adventures’ as he puts it. Most of what he intends is having sex in risky public places like parks, shopping centre change rooms, beaches etc. On the day we first met we found ourselves inside the fire escape stairs of a shopping centre. I was looking for a way to find my car but he was very keen to engage in other activities. To his disappointment I wasn’t up for that kind of thing. Which, upon reflection, is very unlike Gemma.
Since then we have visited a department store change room, and kind of gotten busted by the shop assistant. So I guess there are flashes of Gemma. A couple of weeks ago I was watching rubbish television with my family and we watched this ‘caught on camera’ kind of show featuring the things people do in a multi-story car park. Of course there wS a lot of version of people damaging boom gates in an attempt to avoid paying but also there were a quite a few snippets of people getting sexy in semi secluded corners of the building.
This particular show also featured a dramatisation of the control room where the cameras in the building are monitored showing the reactions of the people watching the action. Of course these people are tasked with making sure equipment such as boom gates and automatic payment machines are not damaged but they also monitor the behaviour of clientele and call the police if things get out of hand. The reactions portrayed to people having sex in stairs and corners were not positive. Instead of “how sexy” and “how daring” their standard response was more ” how gross” and “get a room!”
I felt a bit deflated watching it. I thought back to the recent change room shenanigans and I realised how pissed the sales assistant probably was and how disgusted she was. I felt a little ashamed. Which is stupid. We weren’t hurting anyone and we didn’t leave a mess for her to clean up so what is it to her? The same as the car park viewers. What is the problem? Who is the worst here? The people enjoying themselves and living in the moment or the people sitting around criticising as they watch camera footage?
It is an interesting paradigm. Like the picture above the reality depends on your viewpoint I guess, and the way you have been conditioned to think by the people around you. I think for all the value that Westerners put on being sexy, and the way we pride ourselves on being open minded we definitely have some very prudish ideas about sex.
The question remains; will I have stairwell sex with the Columbian if the opportunity arises? The answer is I honestly don’t know. I think I will definitely have to do a check for cameras first.
Over time and with a few false starts we eventually located a couple through the Internet who seemed to tick all of our boxes. After a couple of online chats and phone calls we arranged to meet. By this time we had met up with Kurt and Renee again with a similar sex marathon evening, sending us home smiling and on a sex fuelled high. Our positive experiences had given us some confidence that things would work out.
I hadn’t really taken much time to think about exactly what we were looking for. We were like children, wide eyed in awe at this strange new world that we had stumbled into. Neither of us had any experience with the world of Internet dating. So we were a little un-prepared for the reality of appearance on screen versus appearance in real life.
The evening we had arranged to meet dawned and we found ourselves on the couch at the house of our new friends. It seemed both surreal and strangely matter of fact at the exact same time. The people were quite different from Kurt and Renee much more salt of the earth. Jenna was much more reserved than Renee and it took a while for things to get started.
At the time we assumed that everyone we met was going to take the lead because we were such complete newbies. Now, with some experience under out belt we realise that this is not always the case. Another thing that we came to realise with the wisdom of hindsight was that confidence does not always equal experience. Our assumption that everyone we met knew exactly what they were on about was completely unfounded and mostly incorrect.
Eventually we fumbled our way around and ended up naked together. It wasn’t the highly charged sexual encounter that we had experienced with Kurt and Renee but it was deeply satisfying. These were people we had much more in common with and could have a more interpersonal relationship with. An example of how comfortable I felt was my ability to give instructions once we were naked. Following round one Jenna and I were enjoying some girl on girl exploration. Having satisfied themselves, for the time being at least, Mr Jones and Steve were sitting on the end of the bed. I think they started out watching the show but we must have been a little too run of the mill for them because they started chatting about tractors, of all things.
I was a little annoyed at their nonchalance and the very unsexy talk and so they were dispatched to the kitchen. I know that there are probably many men reading this right now thinking “What the Fuck??? How can two red blooded men not be transfixed by the sight of two women enjoying each other?” All I can say is not everyone is turned on by the same things and once you have seen something a few times it tends to lose its appeal. Mr Jones and Steve are both men of action. Happy to watch for a while but need to be part of the action at some point.
These exploration sessions with Jenna satisfied my bisexual curiosities quite deeply. I learned a lot about how to please a woman and developed my appreciation for pleasuring women. It wasn’t always that Mr Jones and Steve in particular had to be banished to the kitchen when Jenna and I were playing. Mr Jones always stayed true to form, he had to be involved in the action at some point, Steve did sometimes enjoy sitting in a chair in the corner of the room masturbating to sight of his live porn.
I think that this was one of the catalysts for my present day attitude about girl on girl sex and voyeurs in particular. I am an exhibitionist and love people watching but I do not perform tricks on request. My sexual activities are for my pleasure. It you want to watch and this is gives you enjoyment all the better but the essence is always the same, my exploration for my pleasure. If I was to get all hard core feminist I would say that the idea that men have that they can request or demand women to perform for them stems from the habit of being able to choose porn videos to suit them. Other women are obviously more compliant than me. Maybe that was a sign of things to come.