Our second visit to Couples International was accompanied by much nervous energy. We were like teenagers going to our first grown up party; nervous, excited and terrified of not being accepted. Our first visit had given us an idea of what to expect and what was expected of us. We had talked a little about participating in action this time. The possibility of participating in some action this time was tantalising. It has taken me until now, five years later, to admit to myself that I was really ready to legitimately experience another cock.
In the excitement of preparation other things bothered us. Like what should we wear and will our grooming be good enough? I had recently lost some weight and was feeling thinner and fitter than I had for most of my adult life. In line with this I had acquired a dress that was short, had a low neckline and was made from red satin. Mr Jones had purchased it for me as a birthday present for himself. Kind of unusual but I wasn’t protesting. It was the kind of dress i had always wanted to wear but had always held back from wearing because it was too revealing and I was too fat. The usual excuses. But now finally I felt thin enough and I had somewhere to go where revealing clothing was the norm.
We made our way through the big red door to find the club a lot busier than it had been the last time we had visited. It was some kind of theme night, I don’t remember what the theme was but we had chosen not to dress in theme. We were not the only ones but we were in the minority. At the time we didn’t know that dressing in costume and participating in theme is a staple of swingers parties.
The little red dress created attention. Hardly surprising really, it was designed to do just that. I was approached by several guys quite early in the evening. My ego was nicely stroked and I found myself coming out of my shell a little. The seed that was to later bloom into fully fledged exhibitionism was germinated.
On the flip side of all this was Mr Jones who didn’t have a similar way of attracting the attention of women. For men it is harder. You can’t just turn up looking hot and be showered in attention. Instead you are part of the crowd who is vying for the attention of the person who has turned up looking hot. For women improving confidence is relatively simple. You put on a dress and some shoes and open yourself up to accept compliments. For a man you have to find someone to give you compliments and then beat off all the already confident men vying for her attention somehow.
On this particular night I am a little ashamed to admit that I was caught up in the attention that I was receiving and didn’t notice the struggle Mr Jones was having. Having an admiring audience is a wonderful thing but it is like wine, too much and you can end up acting like an inconsiderate idiot.
To cut a long story short we ended up in a room with two people who had sex with each other but they were certainly not a couple in the accepted sense. The main reason we were there was because this guy had propositioned me and I was all revved up and ready to go. At the last minute I had said “we only play together with other couples” which had been our major rule for the night. Magically he whipped up a girl who was his fuckbuddy. I was too naive and Mr Jones was not confident enough to say no.
Of course it turned out that she was more interested in me that Mr Jones, another issue we had to learn about, and the encounter was brief and by today’s standards pretty unsatisfactory.
We went away from the evening with a lot of ‘stuff’ rattling around between us. On the whole our experience was a positive one and we witnessed a lot of things that were intensely exciting. These first evenings were the ones that introduced me to the joys of watching live sex. I had never really been much of a porn fan but watching real people have real sex is stimulating in a way that porn, even very good porn, can never be.
Of course there were other less positive things to discuss and work through. Mr Jones made his feelings about being dragged into a situation that was not that exciting to him known and we learned our first lessons about one of the key aspects to being successful in this world, communication. For many people communication is about saying what you want to say. But real communication is about saying what you want to say in a non – aggressive way and listening to what the other person has to say in a non-judgemental way. It takes time to become skilled at this. It also takes a willingness to deal with baggage from the past.
In our situation Mr Jones had a history of feeling like a wallflower both in my company and with other partners. This made his reaction to my popularity and his lack in that area stronger and more marked. For my part I found it a little difficult to be sympathetic. I felt like he was asking me to sit in the corner with him and miss the fun. The same thing had happened in more vanilla social situations and it had always frustrated me. This time was no different.
The other aspect of this happening was the issue of finding a couple we both found attractive. We were to learn that this is something almost everyone struggles with. For me I found it incredibly difficult to tell what Mr Jones found attractive. He was reasonably vocal about what he didn’t like but very non-specific about what he did like. In the situation we had just faced the woman was very curvy. Mr Jones made it very clear that he didn’t like fat women but in true form could not give an indication of what he did like.
At the time I took on board his comments quickly and easily. I didn’t realise how hard it would prove to be to find a couple we both enjoyed. More importantly I didn’t realise how much angst Mr Jones’ tendency to be critical but not forthcoming about what he exactly wanted was going to cause me. I also didn’t realise how hard it could prove to be to voice my own desires and take a stand that ensured that I was happy with my end of the bargain.
Both of us were excited to take on this new and racy lifestyle. Neither of us understood how much we had to learn.