Unwind Part 1

The Morning Before

The shower was warm. Soft liquid comfort washing away sleep and waking up skin for the day ahead. Shampoo poured down over my body as I rinsed my hair clean. The morning was full of anticipation and maybe a little excitement. Somehow it seemed hard to be excited about anything right now. There had been too much of everything in these last few weeks. I felt as if I was a spring that had been coiled almost to breaking point. 

But this morning was different. A promise of release was in the air. As I stepped out of the shower the top of the tea chest looked at me from the corner of the room. Usually it was covered in stuff but today it was bare. The perfect place to recline and capture this moment and mood. 

Looking back at the images I was happy. I felt awake, sexual, sexy. With a smile I sent one to Captain Kirk. It wasn’t our normal thing. Or it hadn’t been until this point. But he was a man. What man doesn’t like a nude on his phone in the morning? It wasn’t until later I noticed the droplet of water under my breast. Somehow this seemed more sexy than anything else. I wonder if he noticed it as well? 

A Day of Wondering

The traffic gods were good to me that day. As I drove I received responses to my image from Caption Kirk. Sometimes I used Siri to send messages while I was driving but somehow the profanities I liked to type were hard to say out loud to myself and harder to hear repeated back from the sanitised voice of Siri. 

On arrival at work I had a moment of clarity. I was tense. Not in the immediate way of something looming in front of me but in the way of being wound up from weeks of events and busyness. Receiving dirty texts was a welcome distraction from the grind of every day life. 

I would love to lick you all over, nibble your neck. Suck on your nipples. Taste your pussy. Tease your asshole. 

And we had only agreed to meet for a drink. To see each other in person before deciding if we wanted to go further. It seemed like we were doing a dance. Going through the motions of a ritual that was prescribed by someone else. All the while our eyes were focussed on what we both wanted. 

The Dance

When you see someone for the first time it is always weird. Very few times have I met a man and thought, “You look better in person,” or at least, “you look like your photos.” More often I meet someone and feel some kind of magnetism. That subtle attraction that makes me want to dally in a dark corner and explore their mouth. That makes me slide my hand up their thigh to feel if they are as excited as me. 

This time I wasn’t sure. He wasn’t as tall as I had hoped. Despite his texts I didn’t get the feeling of attraction. We both were holding back. Waiting to see what the other offered. In some way unsure. I was used to men who were vocal and touchy. He was neither. But he was respectful. There was a glimmer. I sensed that he was holding back, careful not to be pushy. 

We drank our drink. All the while chatting about our experiences. Our rules. What was allowed and what wasn’t. How our respective partners felt about this meeting. Not for the first time I found myself reflecting on the transactional nature of this lifestyle. From an abstract point I could see our conversation sounding like; “I have A and B but I don’t do C…. I see you are offering P and Q do you want to get naked together?” By the end of our drink it seemed there was nothing left but to complete the transaction. 

Shadows of the Past

Photo by Foad Roshan on Unsplash

In my last two Thirty Dirty Questions Posts I have talked a little about my repressed upbringing and the long term effects that had on how I felt about my sexuality, my body and myself in general. What I hadn’t realised until a few days ago was that something else that has been bothering me is also linked to this ingrained guilt.

For the last little while I have been extremely self conscious about my “number”. When I think about the number of people I have fucked it makes me feel a number of negative things. Things like shame and guilt. Whenever people ask me how long I have been in the lifestyle this shame surfaces and I am reluctant to share an accurate figure or divulge exactly how active I have been. Which many people in my world think is a little odd. Most other women like myself have a similar number. Those I meet who are just starting out are often admiring of the way I have embraced my sexuality and feel so comfortable talking about what I do and don’t want.

A few days ago I was chatting at a gathering with a woman who has a similar longevity in the swing scene as myself. I didn’t ask about her number. I doubt that she really counted and she is definitely not concerned about it. What I realised during the course of the conversation is that this weirdness about my number was linked to the whole Catholic guilt thing. Strange how things from your past that you thought you had left behind can reach their long fingers into your present and push your buttons all over again.

Now that I have had that realisation I am better equipped to deal with it I guess. Although like all things in your head dealing with it is not just a case of telling it to go away. At least it is a step in the right direction.

TMI Tuesday – The Late Edition

1. Covid dating behavior:

– Are you choosier?

– Are you less choosey?

– Are you more frank and up front about what you want?

I feel that I am more frank about what I want with a lot of things these days. I am not sure if it is really a result of Covid. More about spending six months at sea living a pure, uncluttered life.

2. What is stable in your life? Answer Yes or No as in “yes, this is stable” or “no this is not stable”. Elaborate if you wish.

– Job

Yes for the most part. I did start a new job this year and I am technically on probation until about July so it is as stable as it can be

– Finances

Mr Jones is very clever with money. In addition we live a fairly simple life. While we may not be very wealthy we are comfortable and I feel that we will be secure for a long time.

– Romantic relationship

Definitely

– Economy of your country

I believe we are on the brink of a repeat of “The Recession we had to Have

– Mental health

At the end of a black dog day I can’t say that this is entirely stable or always positive.

– Physical health

Right now I feel as if my body is very unreliable. The list of things that seem to be wrong gets longer every day.

3. Have you lived in a different country than the one you were born? Did you have to learn the language?

No I am just a boring white girl with no culture who can only speak English

4. Can you speak any other languages?

One of the verses in the Men at Work song; “A Land Down Under” goes like this.

Buying bread from a man in Brussels, He was six foot four and full of muscles, I said “do you speak-a my language”, He just smiled and gave me a Vegemite sandwich.

Says it all really.

5. How do you manage your fears?

For the most part it is about facing them with a lot of positive self talk. If that fails just avoid situations that might be a problem.

Bonus: What would you pick to add to your coffee, Baileys, Amaretto, or Whisky/Whiskey?

Coffee is the work of the devil. No matter how you package it the stuff is just vile. So I will have my Baileys straight or with a bit of milk thanks. On a side note the flavoured Baileys are pretty good. Personal favourite has been Red Velvet.

TMI Tuesday – The Dating Game

1. What did you do on your very first date?

That was such a long time ago. My high school years were spent at boarding school. My parents were very conservative and my mother was extremely controlling. I pretty much didn’t have a social life that went outside of school. I did manage to meet up with some boys at McDonalds from time to time. I guess that counts doesn’t it?

2. Which gift would you like to receive most from your significant other:
a. $10,000 Diamond
b. $10,000 vacation
c. $5000 in cash

I am currently on a vacation which in real terms probably cost in excess of $10 000 and our cash is completely merged so Mr Jones giving me a cash gift is kind of moot. A $10 000 diamond would be kind of nice but I feel that all of these gifts are a bit of a cop out. I would rather something that he put some thought into. Something very personal that he remembered me admiring but not really asking for. In all honesty that probably won’t happen but the fantasy is nice.

3. Fill in the blank:
The day I get/got married _____ .

My wedding was dominated by a very controlling parent. Most of the guests at my wedding were their friends and people they felt obliged to invite. My mother made my dress, I was allowed some input but in all honesty it was all about her. The one thing I remember was deciding on the morning of the wedding that I was going to enjoy myself regardless of what other people wanted. And I did.

If I had it over again it would be different and I don’t even know if I would invite her.

4. What is the first thing your significant other notices about someone attractive walking down the street?

I don’t think Mr Jones has a feature that he specifically looks at. It is more about the overall package. He does have a preference for blondes though.

5. Which adjective category best describes you?
a. Sophisticated
b. Down home, down to earth
c. Sensuous

I am going with b. I consider myself to be pretty low maintenance. Most people I know tell me I am very straight forward and tell it like it is.

Bonus: What is the worst thing you or someone could eat in bed?

Toast. You can never get the crumbs out.

TMI Tuesday blog

Imbalance in Internet Dating

As a person in an open relationship who is actively seeking partners I spend a lot of time dating. I don’t mean the awkward dinners that are portrayed on “First Dates”. I am talking about the internet style hook – up type dating. I use a website that is specifically for swingers and I avoid mainstream dating websites like Tinder. My main reasoning for that is to protect my privacy and avoid being outed by someone in my professional life. There is a part of me that is curious to see what would happen if I set up a Tinder account but I am not brave enough yet.

The thing with any dating app whether the user is seeking a soulmate or a one night stand it seems that there is a surplus of males and a seemingly tiny number of receptive females. I hear stories from men about meeting women who get inundated with hundreds of messages. So many that it is impossible for them to reply. That has not been my experience. I am almost fifty, I am married and state clearly I am looking for a man who is comfortable being naked in front of my husband. That in itself seems to weed out a lot.

Despite that I do get attention. I could never hope to meet every man that messages me even those that might be attractive to me or interested in similar activities. If I did meet every man that is attractive and interested I would never get out of bed. I have to narrow the field somehow. I have to make some choices and let others fall by the wayside. I can make arbitrary rules like “If you don’t have a picture in your bio” or “If your initial message is full of Text speak like HowRU” then you don’t make the cut. But I still have to talk to a lot of men who are never going to get in my panties, so to speak.

I have posted before about disappointments. About spending the time talking, exchanging pics, building up some attraction and tension, arranging to meet and then…. Crickets. It is at these times I wonder about my selection process. Should I change my criteria? Am I looking in the wrong place? Is there something I missed? Sometimes I nod in recognition of something that did raise itself but I ignored because he looked hot / I was busy / I was horny etc. Sometimes I am mystified. Sometimes it is the universe saving me from myself. Sometimes I meet some amazing people, like Johnny.

Of late I am with Mr Jones 24 / 7. He sees everything I do which is something he didn’t at home. He doesn’t have a problem with it but I think it has been a bit of an eye opener for him. We have had more open conversations about what each other is wanting / needing. It has been a time of growth for both of us. He has a better understanding of some of my frustrations and the process of making things happen. A lot of times with our lifestyle we discuss an idea and then it happens with little legwork from him. He very rarely puts in the work of building a connection and discussing possibilities with anyone except me.

For me I have a better grip on what he wants but also on how he feels about what I do. The monogamy habit still overshadows things for me sometimes. There is often a lurking fear that I will hurt Mr Jones or damage our relationship. Spending this time with him and discussing different scenarios has helped me to see that he is truly fine with most things as long as he is confident that I am taking him into consideration. I am “allowed” to be slutty and impulsive and have sex with someone I ran into without protracted negotiation and consent from him. He likes the idea of something like that happening and finding out about it later. It is something I am getting used to. I am not quite ready to do something like that but I guess the time will come.

Like everything in this life things are constantly evolving and changing. There are things that we do now that we would not have done even two years ago. I have no doubt there will be other things that we will add to our repertoire over time and still others that will be struck off the list. It is all a question of balance really.

Image by Neel Shakilov from Pixabay

This post was written for Wicked Wednesday prompt #472 “Balance” to see who else is sharing click the button below.

Wicked Wednesday

USB Flashback – Naughty but Nice

Naughty but nice

The big yellow building swung into view through Brent’s windscreen. For a moment he sat in the car park looking at the rain and hoping for it to ease. Around him the car park was almost empty. Of course rain like this would deter most people from visiting the adult store but Brent didn’t care. At least it would mean that he would not have to share that awkward moment standing next to a guy while you are trying to decide between Squirting Babes and Pegging Ladies. Brent’s butt cheeks twitched. Maybe he might look for a butt plug to go with his DVD. The evening yawned ahead of him. No-one was home and all his friends were busy with their girlfriends. There was only so much footy you can watch on your own.

The heavy pelt of the rain eased a little and he took the chance to race into the store. He stepped through the door and stood for a moment wiping the water from his face and shaking his head. Looking around he confirmed his suspicions, he had the store all to himself. Behind the counter a middle aged woman sorted through boxes of condoms. She looked up briefly to nod hello before turning back to her work. Brent made his way to the DVD section at the back of the store where he spent a few moments scanning the shelves. A cover depicting a busty woman wearing a massive strapon and kneeling behind a man on all fours caught his eye. His anus twitched and he felt his butt clench in tingling anticipation. He didn’t even bother looking for squirting videos. He spent a few moments perusing covers, each image increasing his desire to feel that pressure against his ass, opening him and penetrating him. He made his choice and then trying to look casual strolled past the racks of Hens Night games to the more serious toy section.

This part was harder, he had never bought anything like this before. He looked at the array of choices before him, long and slender, short and squat, vibrating, silicone, latex, some looking extremely phallic, some looking like weird doctors tools. His mind spun with choice but after reading a few packs he narrowed it down to a choice between two. The first was a slender solid silicone piece that promised mind blowing prostate orgasms. The second was a series of beads with a small vibrator.

For long moments he stood considering his purchase before a movement beside him caught his attention. He looked sideways and noticed a young woman standing in front of the vibrators. She seemed oblivious to him as she slid different items off the rack and tried to examine them through the packaging. Brent watched her for a moment; an image of her sitting on her bed fucking herself with the dong she had in her hand filled his mind. He forgot about his decision as he watched her brow furrow in concentration. Suddenly she looked up straight into his eyes,

“Don’t you wish that they had a demo model for these things,” she held up the package.

Brent was nonplussed, “I guess,” he replied hesitantly.

“I mean you can’t even tell what the surface feels like or what the vibrations are like,” she continued. “And once you have opened them and tested them you can’t exactly bring it back and swap it for another model.”

Brent was intrigued. He had never had a conversation like this with anyone before. “Well I can’t say I can help you out,” he ventured. “It isn’t like I have the opportunity to test a wide range of women’s vibrators.”

The woman threw back her head and laughed, “I guess not. What are you doing here then?” She looked him up and down, “I thought you were buying a present for your girl.”

Brent hesitated for a moment. Suddenly the idea that had brought him in here seemed weird. But his mind reasoned, so was talking to a complete stranger about try before you buy vibrators was pretty weird so why not go with it?

“Well,” he began and found himself showing the cover of the DVD he had selected. “I was kinda looking for a toy that I could use while watching this.” He looked away feeling sheepish.

The girl stepped forward and took the DVD from his hand. She whistled softly,

“Lucky girlfriend that gets to do that to you,” she looked at him slightly differently.

“If I had a girlfriend who would do that to me I wouldn’t be buying a DVD to watch.” Brent smiled ruefully. “Lucky boyfriend who gets to watch you use that thing,” he pointed at the package in her hand.

“You are not the only lonely single in here looking for something to spice up the self-loving,” the girl held out her hand, “I am Sonia,”

Brent took her hand, “Nice to meet you Sonia.” He replied. “By the way, when I did have a girlfriend she used to swear by the rabbit vibe, hers looked pretty much like that one there.”

Sonia slipped the package back on the rack and selected the one Brent had indicated. “That is as good a referral as I am going to get. I don’t have a prostate but my last fuck buddy swore by them.” She ventured.

Brent turned back to the rack to make the correct selection. When he looked back Sonia was standing at the counter paying for her purchase. By the time Brent reached the counter she was heading for the door. Impatiently he paid for his purchases, glancing over his shoulder towards the doorway. The door buzzer sounded as the cashier gave him his change.

Outside the store he almost bowled her over as she sheltered in the doorway. The rain was belting down harder than before. Brent looked longingly at his car parked only about twenty metres away but he recoiled from the idea of running through this rain.

“Don’t you hate it when you are horny and you have to walk home in the rain before you can use your new sex toy?” Sonia asked in the same matter of fact way she had discussed the vibrator in the store. “Looking at that pic on your DVD has got me even more wound up than I was before.”

Brent looked at her, his fantasy returned, but he struggled to think of a response that wouldn’t weird her out.

“I have a car over there,” he offered lamely.

Sonia’s face lit up, “Perfect,” she threw over her shoulder as she sprinted for the car.

By the time Brent slid into the driver’s seat and closed the door against the pouring rain she had her jeans pulled down and her hand between her legs. Brent sat watching her, mesmerised. She slid down the seat so that she could pull her jeans down a little further and open her legs. With shaking fingers she ripped at the plastic packaging pulling out the vibe and tinkering with the controls. Brent felt for a moment that she had forgotten that he was there.

“Oh my fucking god I am so horny,” she muttered. Her hand slipped between her thighs and Brent could see her fingers moving around. She picked up the vibe and began to stroke herself with it. A shudder went through her as she slid it into herself. “That is good,” a long sigh passed through her lips. She began to move the vibe in and out of herself slowly, turning her wrist experimenting with pressure points. Her other hand gripped the side of the seat.

A low groan came out of her lips and she threw her head backwards, “That is it,” she increased the speed of her thrusts, “Right there, Oh fuck,” The vibe glistened with her wetness and she was almost pounding herself with it. “That’s it,” she whispered to herself. The pounding continued and Brent noticed the little furrow in her brow.

“I am gonna cum,” she announced to the car in general. Brent was sure that she wasn’t aware of him at all. “OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! FUUUUUCCCK!” she screamed. Brent looked nervously out of the window but of course no one was hanging around in the rain looking at this woman fucking herself in the front seat of his car.

When he looked back she was slumped in the seat with the vibe resting on her thigh. Her face glowed as she panted in pleasure. “You have no idea how much I wanted that,” she grinned at him.

Brent nodded in agreement. For a moment he considered pulling down his zip and rubbing a quick one out himself. Without thinking he looked down at his crotch. The bulge was hard to miss.

Sonia followed his gaze, “Hmmmm it seems I am not the only one with an itch to scratch.” She grinned mischievously.

Brent wriggled uncomfortably.

“You know that was just a warm up for me,” she looked suggestively at him. “I really have an itch to fuck a boy’s ass right now. Would you like me to give you a hand breaking in your new toy?” she rested her hand on his thigh, next to his bulging cock that was starting to leak precum onto his boxers.

Brent turned the key in the ignition, “Your place or mine?”

sex toys

Round Two

The first part of the story of Josie and Chad was published here.

This instalment sees the tension and pleasure shared increase as the two lovers dance a dance orchestrated by Chad’s wife.

Chad would like to see you again ….

It was the text that Josie had been waiting for. It had killed her to walk away from him last time without allowing him to touch her. Teasing him had been one of the most arousing things she had ever done. Using him as her personal sex toy to get off had given her one of the most intense orgasms that she had ever experienced. But she missed allowing him to reciprocate.

I was hoping he would… Will there be any special requests?

Josie couldn’t stop herself from asking. As much as she wanted to follow her own agenda she was very aware that Chad belonged to someone else. As delicious as he was he was only on loan. Her access to him was at the whim and with the conditions of the woman he was married to. The mother of his children.

Not really, the reply lifted a weight from Josie, he would like to have dinner with you first though.

I can do that! The reply almost typed itself.

I think it would be fun if you dress sexy. I love the idea of you both being in a public place and him having to behave. 

Josie had the perfect dress! Times and places to meet were arranged. Never once did it seem odd to Josie that these arrangements were made by Chad’s wife and not by Chad himself. Feeling like they were both puppets being played by a third party added another level to the game and Josie liked it.

The restaurant was busy but Josie easily spotted him as she entered. He was dressed the way she thought he would be, as if had just finished work in his conservative inner city office. His crisp business shirt was unbuttoned st the neck and his sleeves were rolled up but he still had that awkward shy look about him. As if he would rather be hiding behind his desk.

His eyes lit up as she walked towards him. His whole body seemed to relax a little but in his eyes she could see desire burning as he took in her dress, the way it hugged her body but allowed a glimpse of her cleavage. It sowed her body without being obvious. Her curves were on display but her skin was not.

The look on his face told her that he was remembering when he had seen what was under there. It was as if she was walking naked between the tables. She held her head high and looked him in the eye challenging him.

Like the true gentleman he was he stood and held her chair. Graciously she allowed him to attend to her, noting the way he lingered for a moment standing slightly behind her as she sat. His glance down the cleavage of her dress was like a physical caress. Josie felt her nipples stiffen in response. A small drop of wetness formed between her legs.

Without speaking he chose his char, not opposite but to her side.

“I want to be able to touch you,” his voice seemed alien before Josie remembered they hadn’t spoken when she met him. This was the first time they had actually spoken.

Under the table his hand travelled up her thigh, finding its way under the fabric of her dress. His fingers grazed her naked, freshly shaved pussy. Their eyes met, his wide with surprise and hers daring him. The desire in his eyes caused the wetness in her cunt to flow.

“You know I am not really that hungry,” he said causally. Meanwhile his hand under the table stroked the smooth soft skin of her mound. It was as if it had a life of its own.

Desperately trying to stay cool Josie picked up the menu herself. The words on the page made no sense at all.

“I am not sure,” she replied, remembering her instructions to tease.

He inserted his finger into the top of her slit. A tiny fraction of the tip of his finger was in contact with her swelling clit. He looked st the menu for a few more moments before he placed it firmly on the table.

“Nothing there is really grabbing me,” he looked intently at her as he slid his finger deeper into her slit. It felt as if her clit was straining towards him.

“Maybe the linguine,” she was desperately fighting herself and trying to be true to the woman who had engineered this.

Chad took the menu from her hands and looked intently into her eyes as he slowly and deliberately rand his finger over her clit and down into her now dripping cunt,

“I know my wife told you that we would have dinner and that you were to tease me the whole time. I wouldn’t be surprised if she also told you not to wear panties.”

Josie could not reply. Her whole attention was taken up by the hand that was skilfully working her cunt under the table. It was all she could do to stop herself from moaning out loud.

Just when she thought she could bear no more he removed his hand away. A sharp pang of loss jolted through her. He smiled seductively as he placed his fingers on her lips. The smell of her cunt was strong. Her tongue flicked out and tasted the juice there,

“I want you to lick that juice off my cock,” he spoke quietly, so that no one else could hear. He took her hand and placed it on his crotch. His cock was straining against the zip of his pants. For a split second Josie considered sliding under the table to suck his cock but she couldn’t bring herself to be so daring. She remembered the last time they were together, what it felt like to straddle him while he was inside her. The feel of his hardness grinding inside her and the sound of him cumming. Suddenly the determination to follow her instructions seemed to melt away.

 

TMI Tuesday – Happy New Year

This week’s questions seemed to take me in a trip down memory lane. I enjoyed reminiscing, I hope you enjoy my answers. As alway pleas make sure you visit TMI Tuesday and see what other participants are revealing this week.

1. What is the most useless thing you know how to do?

Make sand castles! In our family we build sand castles at every beach we visit. We have visited many beaches, in every state of Australia and in some Pacific countries. One of the coolest applications of this skill was helping a Japanese exchange student we had visiting us to experience the joy of building a sand castle.

2. Do you use sex to relieve stress? How?

I tend to find that sex when I am stressed is not usually that great. So I don’t tend to go there. I do sometimes masturbate if I am suffering from insomnia. Sometimes it helps me sleep. Sometimes it doesn’t.

3. What sex act or position did not thrill you until you tried it?

I have a bit of OCD about clean hands and skin so having bodily about bodily fluid on me is not something I am very keen on. As a result I was always a bit weird about cum on me. But once, to humour Mr Jones, who has a fetish for cum, I encouraged a man to cum on me while I was fucking Mr Jones. It turns out in the heat and excitement of sex I am actually really turned on by men cumming on my belly and my breasts. I don’t think I will put my hand up for a bukakke party any time soon but a load or two is pretty hot. Just not on my face.

4. What is the most unusual but fun sexual encounter you have had?

Once a very long time ago, in about 2012, I had an encounter with someone I met on the internet. I was very new to meeting people alone and when I agreed to meet this man for coffee I didn’t plan to do anything sexual. Despite this we found ourselves in the change room of the men’s department in a nearby Myers store. If you are interested in the entire story it can be read here.

For the record I am still friends with the man in question and we still reminisce about that spontaneous day.

5. What is something that can happen in the middle of sex that will make you put your pants on and walk out?

Mr Jones have been known to do this on occasion. The thing most likely to trigger this is any kind of conflict between the couple we are with. Sometimes, more often than you realise, couples THINK they are in to swapping partners but then they get into the heat of the moment and they realise that they actually don’t like seeing their partner with their cock in another woman’s mouth or with their hands on an other man’s junk and things get very weird and tense. This is usually about the time we put our pants on and make a hasty retreat.

Bonus: What was a random compliment that someone gave you that really stuck in your memory?

Once we were at a club and we were naked with another couple. A guy who was working at the bar was making his way back from a cigarette break and he stopped in to tell me I had a nice rack. It wasn’t an entirely appropriate intrusion into our play space and he was taking advantage of his employment to invade spaces that should have been kept private but at the time I was less confident in my body than I am now and I was very happy to be told by a random stranger that he enjoyed my breasts.

Bonus bonus a picture of my rack that I too last night

Crossing the Line

It has been a long while since I have added to the story I started as part of the Journey to Now page. During our recent cruise I had a fair bit of down time and I worked on some posts to add to the story. Now back in the land of the living I will hopefully be continuing to complete this. For those who are new to the blog please visit the “Journey to Now” page to catch up on the story.

Mr Jones has always been very clear about emotional ties with our play partners. He likes the friendship aspect of things but he is very much a one woman man. He has never been interested in having more than one romantic relationship. I never really gave the topic much thought but as time went on and we continued our relationship with Sheree and Wes I began to consider the idea of polyamory to something more than just a fantasy. Mr Jones described his feelings about Sheree in this way; “My dick likes having sex with her but I am not really in to her as a person that much.” In the beginning we spent a lot of time together as a foursome. Mostly we swapped partners and occasionally Sheree and I would have girl time together. I had visited Ladies night a few times by this stage and my desire to have sex with women was waning a little. Slowly I was coming to the realisation that what I really liked was cock. Nice, dare I say it, thick above average sized cock.

In contrast to Mr Jones’ feelings about Sheree, Wes and myself began realising that some feelings were beginning to develop between us. It was never really defined and Mr Jones and I seemed to talk about it sometimes but never in a really direct way. Certainly WES and I had several conversations about it. Some were vague and about the idea of polyamory in general, some were more direct and related to managing our feelings and relationship so as not to hire the other stakeholders.

Over Mr Jones and I became aware that all was not well in the Wes and Sheree household. Sheree had several mental health issues which they were quite open with us about but looking back I realise how naive I was about just how much Wes contributed to them and possibly used them as an excuse for some very bad behaviour. In any case circumstances led to Mr Jones engaging in his first experience of playing solo. We had never really discussed it but I had always stated that I was OK with him enjoying himself. Unlike him I was confident that he had no intention of running off with someone else and so I was, and still am, comfortable with him getting enjoyment from any experiences that come his way.

When he came home one day and told me that he and Sheree had taken advantage of a situation and engaged in a hot and heavy tryst in a park I was excited for him. I felt I was a much needed boost to his confidence. For myself I wasn’t particularly interested in solo play with Wes despite my growing feelings for him.

What did grow out of that first foray into playing without their partner in the room for Wes and Sheree was my first MMF. I requested this with some nervousness. I knew that Mr Jones was aware of how I felt about Wes and I had an inkling that he wasn’t entirely happy about what was happening. I guess looking back now he didn’t know how to stop what he may have seen as a runaway train. His confidence in my devotion to him was not as strong as mine in his and to be completely honest I was not as settled in my relationship as I could have been. Some of the issues that plagued our marriage earlier still lingered. At this time I had been forced to resign from my job and ultimately had to turn my back on a career I loved as a result of circumstances that stemmed largely from the trials and tribulations of adjusting to life with children. I felt strongly that this turn of events was due to some failings on Mr Jones’ part and even though I was working towards it I had by no means forgiven him.

In any case I found myself in a bed sandwiched for the first time between two men. Both Mr Jones and Wes had what I regarded as particularly nice cocks. I loved both of them, in my hand, in my mouth and in my pussy. At this time anal sex and I were still not really friends. Neither of my lovers really minded. The evening was an amazing experience for me. A lot of first times for many things happened; first spit roast, first time watching a man suck another’s cock and most importantly first time of double vaginal penetration.

This feat was not planned and was a result of some patience and a lot of communication between Mr Jones and Wes. I doubt very much if it would have been as successful if both me had not been so comfortable with themselves and each other as it required two penises to get into some very close quarters together. As I recall I lay on my side and Mr Jones entered me from behind. Dan had the trickier task of inserting himself into an already full pussy while facing me. It took some adjusting of legs, arms and hips but we achieved the goal. It was one of the most amazing, intimate experiences of my life. My pussy was stretched in the most pleasurable way and my body was pressed between both of the men I desired most in the world. It is something that I will never forget even now after so many different experiences and different men. It would be a very long time before I would experience that level of intimacy again.

Hairy

I have made a few recent mentions about a man I am seeing that has a passing resemblance to John Barrowman. The last time I met up with him I was watching him walk towards me across the car park and I thought to myself how attractive he was. Something about him just floats my boat. Imagine my surprise when later that night during a rest break he comments to me about feeling that he was “too old, too fat and too hairy to be successful in the modern internet dating world.

Firstly he is the same age as me. So if he is too old then I must be as well. I am fairly flexible when it comes to the age of my playmates. The only age related line I have drawn recently has been to refuse a very young man on the basis that he is the same age as my son! Toyboys are nice and all but I just can’t go there. In terms of JB he is fine. Age is just a number and too old is more about attitude than anything else.

Too fat? Well health is more important that a waist measurement. I am forcing myself to come to terms with my own waist measurement that is larger than I would like. When it comes to men something that really, truly gets me going is someone who is strong enough to manhandle me. I believe that JB has that. Note to self; discuss this as a part of our play sometime very soon

The thing that I really wanted to talk about in this post is the hairy comment. In our culture body hair is something that is not really celebrated. Whilst beards are extremely fashionable at the moment our images of sexy men typically don’t include large amounts of body hair. Personally I don’t have a preference. Mr Jones is fairly hairless and I enjoy a smooth skinned man but there is something very masculine about male body hair. A long term twitter friend of mine @jackandjillcpl kindly shared some images of his to help me make my point.

Jack is what I would consider an exceptionally sexy man. He is definitely not smooth skinned but his photos show a man who is comfortable with himself and confident in his sexiness.

I love how proud he is in this image. The mat of hair on his chest announces his masculinity. So fucking sexy

When I look at this one I just want to snuggle in there. One of the things I love about hairy guys is the texture of the hair when I put my hands on their body. Feeling that texture on my hands is sexy. It makes me want to bury my face against his chest and explore how he responds to my touch.

This one is just fucking sexy. I want to put my hands down there and feel what he has to offer before I reveal him to cover his cock with my lips.

Don’t get me wrong I appreciate smooth skin and would explore a smooth body if the chemistry between us is right and the opportunity arises. But a man with hair definitely has appeal. Something I don’t particularly like is a hairy man who shaves his body hair. Body hair gives texture but it is soft. When it is shaved it goes all prickly and irritates my skin. If you have hair, own it. Sexiness is about confidence and the conviction that you are attractive.

This post has been linked to Wicked Wednesday for this week. If you enjoyed this post then you should absolutely head on over and read some of the other entries.