Jumping Back in to the Pool

This story is based on an encounter I had a while ago. The thing that has stayed with me about this encounter is the terrified pounding of his chest. It added a whole new level to the encounter. When I saw this week’s prompt I knew the story was made for it.

Shane sat looking st his drink. Behind him a glass wall hid the workings of a typical working class pub. In front of him Sunday night traffic ambled past. Everything seemed so calm, so mundane and ordinary as the world went about its Sunday night business but his own head was spinning with questions; “what if she doesn’t come?”, “What if she laughs in my face?”, “What the hell am I doing?”

A woman walked along the footpath in front of him looking intently at him. Shane’s heart almost jumped out of his chest. His earlier worry about her recognising him flew out the window, he know it was her; more disturbingly, she knew it was him. Shane’s heart felt as if it was going to pound out of his chest, it seemed as if he had to force himself to breathe as she walked towards him. By contrast she seemed so calm, as if she did this every day.

He stood to greet her and she smiled as she introduced herself. He felt as if the world was spinning out of control but she seemed so calm. Worse, she seemed interested in him. The next 30 minutes were a blur, all Shane could think about was how amazing she looked and how awkward and stupid he felt. He heard himself telling her about his whole life and saw her smiling and nodding but it was as if it wasn’t him. After a while she seemed to get fidgety, as if she was starting to get bored but he was at a loss. What now? It seemed weird to say “lets go back to my place to fuck” but that is what he wanted to say. How did he do this back in the day?

Then he remembered he had never done this. He had never been that lad. He had met his wife in high school. And now he was here doing this thing. Who the hell meets a married woman in a pub to suss each other out before you go and have sex? Especially when your own wife is home with your daughter two thousand miles away. Except she isn’t your wife anymore. His heart thundered in his chest making it hard to breathe. His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by a weird feeling. Startled, he looked across the table at a pair of piercing blue eyes looking intently at him. He realised she had asked a question and was now waiting for an answer.

“Sorry?” He hadn’t thought it would be possible to be more nervous but now it felt as if his ribs were barely containing his heart.

There was a slight flicker of an undefined emotion in her eyes but her smile was genuine as she repeated herself, “Soooooo are we going to sit here all night?”

This was it, the moment he had been hoping for, and yet now he realised it was the moment he had been fearing.

“Let’s go back to mine,” he heard a voice say. It seemed to come out of his mouth but he didn’t know how he said it.

She smiled and collected her things. “It is just around the corner, I actually walked here so I can ride with you and show you the way,” his voice continued to surprise him.

Then, somehow they were sitting on the couch of his rented apartment. She was sitting so close to him with her hand on his thigh. The smell of her was intoxicating. When he reached out to touch her he could feel is own hand tremble. It was like he was a teenage virgin touching his girlfriend for the first time. A small smile played around her lips as she ran her hand up his thigh towards his crotch. He felt as if he was going to jump out of his skin as her fingers grazed his cock through his pants.

Without a word she sank onto her knees in front of him. It seemed strange, why was she down there? Then her fingers fumbled with his belt and he realised. Quickly, glad of something to do with his hands he helped her open his pants. Her hands felt warm as she eased his cock out into the light.

It had been so long since another woman had seen this. It had been even longer since he had a woman at his feet about to do this to him. It felt like he was in a dream. Her lips parted and touched his foreskin it felt as if electricity jolted though his groin. A long slow breath escaped his lips as her tongue slid under the soft sensitive skin, teasing the head underneath. He felt the heat of the blood rushing into his groin. He wanted to touch her head but he was terrified that it would break the spell. His cock swelled out of its foreskin spilling her mouth and she pushed her lips down his shaft enveloping him in warm soft wetness.

Every nerve in his body was straining towards his groin. He was completely unaware of anything that was happening around him. His whole consciousness was focussed on the long forgotten feeling of her mouth sliding up and down his cock. His arousal swelled inside him building towards a conclusion that was familiar but somehow different.

His mind was conflicted. He wanted to stay in this warm aroused state. He wanted to watch her head moving up and down his shaft, tilting every now and then to look him in the eye. He wanted to stay enveloped in the warm wetness and gentle pulling of her lips but he knew it would not last. It had been too long. A small sound escaped his lips and panic began to rise in his chest. How could he warn her of the inevitable? He realised he couldn’t stop himself now even if he wanted to. He pulled away from her but she wrapped her arm around his hips to hug him closer.

The feeling of his climax was building deep in his groin, he let himself surrender to the sensation. Did he imagine it or was she encouraging him by sucking harder and deeper. He would never know. Heat exploded through his body and pulsed out of the end of his cock. Some primitive sound exploded from his mouth and filled the room.

Then it was over. Slowly she let his cock slide from her lips. A dribble of his cum sat st the corner of her mouth as she smiled triumphantly up at him. It was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. In that perfect moment he felt fulfilled in a way that he hadn’t for a very long time.

Then the reality of what had happened hit him. His chest filled with triumph as it had when he had lost his virginity all those years ago. This was the second woman who had ever sucked him and it felt good.

Where Will I Meet You?

Once, in a previous life, I met a boy in a coffee shop and ended up sucking him off in the car park. You can read about it here. Of late I have renewed my membership of the website I use to meet prospective partners with a view to finding a regular play partner. It is an ongoing journey full of twits and turns. Those of you who follow my twitter will have some inkling. I haven’t exactly achieved my goal, yet.

This week I took a step closer to achieving my goal. After the initial flirt / message thing he proposed a face to face meeting. I was given the responsibility of choosing a venue. Mainly because it is convenient for me I decided to go with an old stomping ground, so to speak. Of course meeting close to my house means I may run into someone I know. Not really a problem until they realise the man having coffee with me is not my husband. Again not really a problem until we start with the little touches on the knee under the table, followed by more direct stroking, which leads to sitting closer together, which leads to being walked to my car, which leads to all kinds of inappropriate things… I am getting ahead of myself.

I have learnt from previous experience that revisiting particular scenarios with a different person can be a little disappointing. You can never replace the adrenalin rush of doing something daring for the first time so I didn’t allow myself to dwell too much when I parked in the car park I had used before. If the truth be told I had used this car park s lot for a lot of different errands since the initial visit. But still that initial visit was on my mind as I parked.

I was there first. There was the nervous five minutes of wondering if he would show. For some reason of late meeting for coffee has been hit and miss. Maybe I am getting older, maybe people are getting ruder. Whatever the case I have had a couple of incidents of telling the staff I am waiting for someone and then having to slip out without them noticing when the someone doesn’t show. But I saw him approach. He was tall, he strode confident,y and he had a definite silver fox look. All things that got my attention.

The actual coffee part of the situation was pretty standard. It turned out neither of us really likes coffee. It turned out he was interesting and intriguing. After a short while the little touches started. It is funny how it is hard to verbalise attraction but that first tentative meeting of fingers conveys so much. We finished and left. He walked me to my car, parked in the car park. We stood talking for a while. It was close to lunch time. There were a few people coming and going. I found myself looking at the front of his pants, wondering. It is always something I am curious about. What will come out? I don’t require extra large cock but I am not a fan of a small penis.

I realised that opening the front door of my car and sitting with my legs out would put me at the perfect height to suck him. Without really explaining what I planned in took my handbag and opened my car. He didn’t need an explanation he stepped forward and helped me ease himself out of his pants. His cock was firm, thick and veiny, a thing of beauty that needed worship. I licked my lips before taking the first taste of the soft skin. There is nothing like the feel of cock skin, it is so soft and velvety even though it covers something so hard. Moistened by my saliva he slid into my mouth.

He exhaled slowly, his hands cupped the back of my head and he whispered, that’s right. His fingers gripped my hair pulling it firmly. Encouraged I sucked harder, sliding him deeper. I could feel dampness building between my legs. I wrapped my arms around his hips so that I could grip his butt and pull him closer to me. His scent, the feel of his fingers gripping my hair and the sound of his breathing were intoxicating. I began to crave for the taste of his precum. I tilted my head to look up at him, he was leaning against the car scanning the car park but I knew his mind was on me. I wished we could be somewhere quieter, more relaxed. My cunt wished for the feel of his fingers inside me,

“Incoming, at two o’clock,” the words brought me back to reality with a jolt. His cock slid from my mouth and I looked over my shoulder at a woman walking towards her car that was parked next to mine. He gave a sound of disappointment and leaned down to me.

“Where are all these people coming from?” He asked. I looked around suddenly there seemed to be people all over the place. I wanted them to go away so that I could finish what I had started. He slid his hand inside my dress and cupped my breast pinching my nipple.

“You are such a good girl, I wish I could spend the afternoon with you not with this client,” I could see from his face that he was torn. I was torn too. He put his mouth on my breast teasing my nipple with his tongue. I felt like there was a puddle forming in my panties.

“I have to go but we will finish this sometime soon,”

We embraced and he left. I went home to fantasise about the possibilities. Sometimes revisiting old haunts with someone else can be a good thing.

A Blast From the Past

Several years ago I had a pet. Over the course of a couple of years we had some intense sexual encounters and explored some kinks. The relationship was sexual and definitely not romantic. We met we fucked, sometimes during a rest break we shared food. When he was working away (he was a FIFO ) we texted most days. The connection between us was strong. But then one day he disappeared. He was evasive and when I asked directly he told me it was time to move on. There was no explanation. And I didn’t ask. In my mind I didn’t have the right to ask. We were fuck buddies not dating. Neither owed the other anything.

That is not to say that it didn’t hurt. He left a gap in my life. One that was never filled. Most of the time it wasn’t a problem but sometimes I found myself thinking about our adventures and wishing they hadn’t ended.

Then last Saturday, randomly, I ran into him at the swingers club that Mr Jones and I visit from time to time. It was one of those nights when all sorts of people were popping out of corners and things were a little chaotic. I was chatting to a lady who was sitting nervously in the corner. She was explaining that her new-ish boyfriend had brought her along to check things out. Then there he was. I didn’t know where to look or what to say. We said hi. He kind of explained how he knew us to his new girl and then I ran away. I didn’t know what to say.

It took time to process the encounter. About 24 hours afterward I realised that it hurt my heart seeing him again. I guess I wasn’t as detached as I thought.

Abstinence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

In a recent TMI Tuesday post I spoke about giving up an extra martial relationship as an example of a recent grand romantic gesture. It was something I had done in response to concerns Mr Jones was having about the direction our own relationship was travelling. Just to be clear he was aware of my interactions with this man and I was in no way having an “affair”of any kind.

Over the course of the twenty or so years that Mr Jones and I have been together sex has been a central feature of our interaction with each other in both a positive and sometimes very negative way. To the outside observer we are very physical with each other. We touch fondly in public and we have sex regularly. Much more regularly than a lot of married people I know. Even when we have been struggling with our relationship I don’t think we have ever gone more than a couple of weeks between drinks.

Where things become awkward and problematic is the wanting. I am much more submissive by nature than many people realise. If Mr Jones says ‘let’s do this’ then we do it. Without question, without me really considering what I want to do. This habit stems from a childhood with an over controlling parent whose skill in using guilt to manipulate the people around them was unsurpassed. This has created in me a compulsion to make people around me happy. As a friend once explained it; I have an extremely bad case of ‘disease to please’.

Long story short I want to please my husband, even at my own expense. I will and often do have sex when I don’t want to in a bid to avoid the guilt I feel when I say no to someone. Over s long period of time this eats away at your soul.

Recently I have started to assert myself. Partly because I have realised that I have to if I want to avoid becoming a complete basket case. Additionally I have realised that I need to learn to ask for what I want if my marriage is to survive past raising children. This is sometimes as simple as choosing what is on the television or saying that yes actually I do want you to make dinner tonight because I have marking to do and I don’t have time.

When it comes to sex things are more difficult. My chronic over thinking kicks in and I double guess myself by asking “Am I saying no because of habit or because I actually don’t want to?” Or worse “Am I convincing myself to say yes because I said no yesterday?” Crazy, crazy stuff. Maybe I need more help than I realise.

In a play relationship it is easy. There are no financial ties, there are no children, there are no mutual friends or relatives to explain things to if one or both of use decides things are not working. Consequently the sex is easy. There is no worry about what he will think if I don’t do it right. If I get bored or he leaves then, no biggie just move on.

Unfortunately this means I can hide a little from my feelings and avoid dealing with stuff. Putting aside other relationships forces me to focus on the person who has been standing in front of me for twenty years and deal with my demons. It forces me to really be honest with him about how I feel and what goes through my mind. Oddly I have delivered some of this information without feeling guilty later. I have given a clear description of what goes through my head without any feelings of remorse for the pain it may be causing Mr Jones.

It is liberating and confidence inspiring. I am not really afraid that he will leave me. Although I am sure some people reading this will ask “why the fuck not?” I also know that there needs to be some pain for true growth to happen. At the moment I am kicking goals in my life. I have been given some very good recognition of my talents and achievements at work. My colleagues are giving me great positive feedback and I feel like I am finally putting to rest some demons that have haunted me for many years, I feel like a worthy grown up person.

Mr Jones often says that one of the things that attracted him to me when we met was my confidence. Over the years some significant events occurred that took away that confidence and perhaps this contributed to what I have been writing about in this post. My achievements in my working life have started to correct this and I can feel the effects trickling into other parts of my life. Taking a break from pursuing and dating others is helping me to channel this in the right direction.

Things are looking very positive. I feel like I am more in control than ever. So watch this space.

Trimming the Lawn

All those years again when Mr Jones and I stepped into the dating scene pubic hair was a big no-no. I had off and on experimented with pubic hair removal to fulfil fantasies or interests of Mr Jones but it wasn’t something I did regularly, I didn’t even really wax my bikini line. Suddenly I found myself regularly waxing. For the first time in my life I was regularly visiting a beautician. Caught up in the new adventures I was having I didn’t really consider the expense too much or the demands on my time particularly draining. As time went on regular waxing became a habit. I genuinely fulfilled that swinger stereotype of not being able to remember the last time I had pubic hair.Fast forward to now and Mr Jones and I have definitely slowed our level of activity. We visit clubs and the occasional party as a couple looking for other couples but we often hook up with single men for a threesome. Mr Jones doesn’t really feel the amount of effort involved in looking for a playmate is not always well rewarded so he tends not to bother. I am of a different opinion.I enjoy meeting different people and experiencing different situations so I put a bit more effort in and am rewarded with a few different experiences. And a certain amount of frustration. Sadly I have not found someone with the mind shattering sexual chemistry I experienced with Pet, but I have had some fun times. Due to the nature of my job my dating life has slowed considerably. My time has become quite limited so visits to the beautician are a thing of the past. Grooming these days is in the form of a quick shave just before heading out the door. A little while ago I had some play time with a European man who had a distinct preference for unshaved pubic hair. I did my best to please him but the best I could do was about four weeks growth. My reward was some intense sex and this very sexy photo After this experience I have become much more relaxed about going on dates with less than a perfectly shaved puss. In fact lately I have decided to grow the bush back. The novelty of having hair down there is a little stimulating. Mr Jones seems happy with this turn of events. He commented recently that it is fun to have something to stroke down there. So I think the hair is here to stay for the moment. Sorry potential playmates but if pubic hair is a deal breaker then you are not the guy for me.

The Dick Pic

I have probably written about this topic before but I was inspired to pen this because of a post by The Zen Nudist about rape. Although it is not anywhere as extreme as rape there is something about the unsolicited dick pic that I, and many women, find invasive and confronting. Don’t get me wrong, I love penises. I love to look at them, I love to inspect them in the minutest detail, I love to suck them, I love them inside me. What I don’t love is having one shoved in my face when I am innocently going through my day and my message notification pings. I don’t understand why men do it. In a way it is sad that men have distilled their attractiveness to women to such a small (no pun intended) part of them.There are many parts of men that are attractive. I am a sucker for a nice arse. I even have Twitter friends who send me great shots of their arse, after invitation. Things like this. This is hot after you have made a connection, had a conversation etc. There are plenty of ways to entice and intrigue which for me makes attraction stronger. I can’t speak for all women of course but based on conversations I have had with female friends who are dating most women seem to feel the same way as me. Sending uninvited pictures of your dick to women is NOT acceptable behaviour EVER. As I stated in my opening comments it is invasive, offensive and sometimes just plain weird.There are plenty of ways to present your package that are alluring and damn sexy something like this;Or this;So guys, take note. You are more than your naked protruding penis. Show some creativity and remember that less is often more.

When I Say No….

As a teacher and as a parent I have learned a few things about saying no. The first one is that when you say no you have to mean it. Saying “no” and then changing your mind when everyone protests just sends the message that no doesn’t mean no it means “try a little harder to convince me”.

The second thing I have learned about saying no is that you have to be prepared to back it up with a reason. Having a sound reason usually reduces the amount a student/ child will try to convince you that you really meant yes. Finally, in my experience, the people who try the hardest to change your mind are the ones who have learned from experience with other people that you can change someone’s mind. These students/ children are usually proficient at techniques that trigger an emotional response such as pouting, eye rolling, and making statements like “I was just trying to….”. These students are the hardest to deal with but getting them to see things your way is not impossible.

I posted recently about s conversation I had with a man I have enjoyed as a lover and his inability to u derstand and respect “no”. In my post I outlined my dealings with my ex lover and my very clear no. That, I thought, was that. How wrong I was. I received a couple of messages during the week about “accidental” messages automatically sent from social media apps like Snapchat and then whammo we are talking again. Well he is talking and asking me to video chat with him (he has been working in an extremely remote location over the Christmas Break). Of course I replied no. As I put my phone down I said to it “I am not going to fuck you.”

Of course he didn’t hear that, not that it would make any difference. The problem is even as I was saying the words a small part of me was protesting. He is attractive. He does have sex appeal and there were aspects of fucking him that I enjoyed. A tiny part of me almost believes that idea that it will be different if I give him another chance. Of course the rational part of me has to step in and firmly remind the positive, fantasy me of the frustration and dissapointment that is the most likely outcome if I give in.

Sometimes being the most responsible adult in the room is hard.

Not Without My Permission 

I was prompted to write this post by a comment I read on Facebook about a woman who punched a guy in a bar because he touched her without her permission. Now the comment did not elaborate about exactly where she was touched or even how many times he touched her before she punched him. I think it is reasonable to assume it wasn’t a tap on the shoulder to get her attention and it is likely he was told to stop touching her that way and he ignored that instruction. In which case his touching was neither warranted nor reasonable. I want to make it clear right at the start that this post is not going to be a feminist rant about men who think they have the right to touch women whenever, wherever and however they like. There is plenty of stuff on the net about that. What sprang to mind when I read this comment was a situation I came accross in a club a couple of years ago. 

I met a woman who was very flirtatious. She was at the event with a man who was very touchy-feely and had to put in his place a couple of times that night but interestingly his girlfriend was acting in a very similar way. Somehow she got the idea that I like being randomly slapped on the ass as she walked past me. I am not saying that I was entirely against the idea but it was a little bit more than I was used to. What made me sit up and take notice was that when I returned the favour she rounded on me with a tirade about how that kind of thing made her uncomfortable because of her history of being physically abused. 

Like WTF???? 

Her story may very well have been true but in my mind you should not put out what you are not prepared to recieve. Particularly without explicit agreement. The other aspect of this whole scenario that Mr Jones was very keen to point out to me was that she was “getting away” with giving physical attention in a way that was not usually acceptable for men to give simply because she is a woman. He was right of course. Women do get away with giving a whole bunch of physical attention to both men and women that simply would not be acceptable for a man to give. It is no surprise that men become frustrated and resentful when they see clearly demonstrated a double standard. 

What makes it even harder for men is that a lot of women will accept behaviour from a guy they find attractive that they will not accept from a guy that they don’t. Attractive guys don’t ask for permission before they touch any more than guys who aren’t attractive. Mostly they don’t have to deal with a slap accross the face as a rejection and so men who are less attractive but still perfectly nice find themselves wondering if it is worth daring to cross the minefield. The ones who are not so nice end up giving physical attention whenever and wherever they like because they are working on the premise that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than to seek permission. 

And we wonder where all the nice guys went? 

The swing scene is a little more clear with the touching with permission thing. All respectable clubs and parties have very clearly stated rules indicating that touching without permission is a no-no. But still people are people and the rules get bent. Especially with women. Since the incident with the arse slapping I have been more conscious of my tendency to get touchy freely with people and I take care to make sure I have consent before I touch anyone. It feels a bit weird to actually verbalise this but once you get used to it is not so bad. Most people appreciate the respect. It hasn’t changed other people’s idea of what is acceptable and what is not and I still find myself having to tell both men and women that my nipples are not there to be tweaked painfully even if they are on display. Some people just have no self control. 

I guess the reality is that we all have difficulty giving a clear and honest indication to others about what we do and don’t want and as a result a whole culture of game playing has evolved. Unfortunately because no one wants to explain the rules clearly there are no rules. 

What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?

As some of my colleagues and I shared a drink to celebrate the end of another week attempting to educate other people’s children the conversation turned to what everyone was planning for Valentine’s Day. A range of ideas were shared including simple nights in watching movies to potential dinner dates and movie dates to the heavily promoted “Fifty Shades of Grey”.

I have mixed feelings about this book/movie franchise. Reqding the first book didnt  convince me it was a good idea to spend my hard earned cash or precious time on the second and third books. For me the book consisted of a string of unrealistic scenarios that titillated a little at first but became monotonous as time went on.

The thing that really got under my skin was how unrealistic everything was. I mean how many people out there have an earth shattering number of orgasms the first time we have sex? How many twenty year old virgins would even consider getting in to a relationship with someone as intense and demanding as Christian Grey, no matter how much money he had? I understand that the reason for the book’s popularity is the whole Mills and Boon style romantic fantasy. I also get that for most people this is the first book they have read that describes sex in graphic detail.Maybe that is why the books took off; not because they are good literature but because it is different.

As part of a promotion for the movie release a local radio station has this week been running a segment featuring a couple whose sex life has wandered away from regular lust filled nights to more mundane and less regular sessions. The deal was that the couple were to spend the week having sex every day, trying something that they hadn’t tried each time. Of course bondage featured as one of the ‘tasks’ the couple were required to complete but the whole focus was more on increasing the intimacy between them based on the alarming statistic that 70% of couples don’t feel there is enough intimacy in their relationship.

At the end of the week the sum up for the couple was that being forced in a way to complete the tasks and make the effort made a difference. This may come as a surprise to you all but I found many similarities between their situation and my own. Yes I am a sex goddess but I am also a full time teacher and a super mother. Sometimes the sex goddess is a role I only put on for other people in the same way that you clean your house for guests and put out the good china.

During this week I decided to take on board some of what the radio station guinea pigs were doing. I made sure I put priority on cuddles and doing the things I know Mr Jones likes. We talked about being more intimate and communicated our thoughts and ideas. I put in the sex goddess for him as well as my other fans. In the end it worked. The little rift that was opening up between us has closed nicely.In true superwoman style I was able to still cover all my other bases, including being a legendary sex goddess for Pet, and still rock the world with my husband. Somi have to agree with the line that was being promoted on the radio station, sometimes the excuses offered for a decrease in intimacy between couples are just that, excuses. If you make you relationship a priority those excuses fade away.

So where does all this fit into Fifty Shades? There are a lot of articles and blog posts that express different viewpoints about FSOG. Many of the ones I have come across are quite negative. My thoughts; There are issues with this book. It does stylise and romanticise bondage in a way that doesn’t help people who are genuinely curious, it does make the abuse of power in a relationship look romantic and desirable and it definitely presents a very inaccurate picture of the BDSM world. But there are positives about it. In a world obsessed with sex but full of people who don’t know how to go about making their relationships more satisfying at least it got some of us talking about sex. At the least it opened the mainstream public’s eyes to the possibility that there is something other than lights out missionary position, once a year sex. It is up to the community of enlightened people now to continue with the momentum and get more helpful, positive stories and information out there.

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Baggage Free Sex

I read a post recently by Andee that re-ignited a few thoughts that have been percolating in my mind for a while. In her post Andee raises the question “What do men get out of watching their wife have sex with another man?”

It is an interesting question one that many different people have many different answers for. In the comments following her post the question of why would a woman want to have sex with a man other than the one she is connected to is raised. Along with the material from Andee’s post this question crystallised a few thoughts in my mind.

In my own experience Mr Jones and I have addressed this question several times. Every now and then I encounter a man who I have a deep sexual connection with. These men get me, we share kinks, ideas, fantasies and for some unexplained reason sex with them can be mind boggling. These relationships always push boundaries and sometimes they threaten to spill over into fully blown romantic love but at the end of the day the men I have this connection with are not men I could form a life partnership with.

So why do I have such a deep and satisfying sexual connection with them? Why do I see fireworks when we are together?

The answer is complex but mainly it is to do with the lack of baggage. Mr Jones and I are married. We deal with children, money, mortgages, illness, irritating relatives and a whole plethora of unpleasant issues every day. I see him naked every morning. Which is sometimes sexy but a lot of times not. If you don’t believe me watch the Sienfeld episode that deals with just this.

So when it comes time to have ‘special cuddles’ sometimes these things affect how we interact and see each other. I don’t have these interactions with other lovers. Our whole relationship is based on sizzling hot sex. And when the sex becomes not so sizzlingly hot then I am free to move on no hurt feelings, no financial issues to settle and no custody battles to fight. It is no strings attached sex, sex in its purest form.

The idea that we should meet one person and form a life long relationship with that one person that will satisfy every need that we could have emotionally and sexually is just plain ridiculous. Thinking about it objectively how could that even be possible? We don’t choose one friend to satisfy all our social needs so why should we choose one spouse to satisfy all our sexual needs? We are human and our nature dictates that we form all kinds of connections with all kinds of people including sexual ones.

Of course every person is different and so for some there is one person who can satisfy their every romantic and sexual need but for the majority of us I don’t believe this is the case. As well as that our sexual desires change over time. So we may meet a partner who does all the right things in all the right places but once we have scratched that itch we find that it is no longer that itchy and move on. This also doesn’t sit well with the whole ‘one partner for eternity’ idea.

And so getting back to the question why would a woman want to have sex with someone other than her husband? Well I think the answer is pretty obvious; because she can, because it is fun and because it enables us to become well rounded,fulfilled sexual beings. To be honest, people who spend a lot of time espousing the idea that lifelong monogamy is a good thing probably need to get a life.

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