Swinging Etiquette 101 – Looking After Your Partner

The morning after a visit to the swingers club is always an interesting time for me. Most of the time there is the post gratuitous sex horniness that sees me wanting to fuck any erect penis in sight. But what also happens always is a kaleidoscope of images, sights, sounds and experiences to sort through and ponder over. No matter what happens on the night I always come away with some kind of new insight or discovery about human nature.

Often in the earlier part of the night, when everyone else is scoping out partners and scrambling around for the best deal they can get I find myself people watching. There are lots of aspects to this hobby, checking out shoes and clothes, scoping for potential partners, watching people I already know and watching other people’s relationships in action.

The relationship part is something I find endlessly fascinating. When you come across two people who really have their shit together it is heartwarming and so fucking sexy to watch them interact. The sexiest thing a man can do is worship the woman he loves.

On the flip side the least sexy thing a person can do is leave their partner for dead. I am not going to be all holier than thou and say I have always had Mr Jones at the forefront of my mind, especially at the beginning of my corruption but these days I am mostly focussed on him.

My adventures last night included an encounter with a fairly sexy guy. We were introduced by a mutual friend and the attraction between us was immediate. Things got a bit awkward when another couple happened along and the woman of the couple decided that she was also interested in Mr Hot Guy. So there we were for a while, Hot Guy, me, the other woman and our respective husbands. To summarise, three penises and two vaginas. It was pretty obvious that both the women were interested in Hot Guy and Hot Guy, like any red blooded male, was up for two women pleasuring him but the equation also included two other men.

Personally I am more than happy to accommodate two penises and this

IMG_0328.JPGcould have provided a solution to the imbalance but the other husband didn’t ring my bell. Based on her actions my husband wasn’t ringing the other woman’s bell either. That is fine, it is our choice. To cut a long story short Other Woman ended up dragging Hot Guy off for some fun without even looking back at her husband who was sitting watching proceedings and feeling really awkward.

In situations like that my responsibility is for the pleasure of my own husband and myself. Other Husband is entirely NOT my responsibility. As I said I am more than happy to accommodate more than one man and I took the opportunity to indulge in a spit roast, something I have a soft spot for, but after a while I decided that my charity to other husband only extended to a sympathy head job. The full threesome experience was not going to happen for him. I was also pretty clear that I was not prepared to indulge the FFM fantasy experience for Hot Guy. Other Woman may have been happy leaving her husband for dead but I don’t work that way.

At the start of our journey Mr Jones and I were very clear about our responsibility to care for each other in club and party situations. This is mainly a safety thing but it does extend to rescuing each other from being cornered with weird people and ensuring that making sure that no one gets left out. I take this seriously. My primary relationship is my primary focus. No guy, or woman, is hot enough to warrant treating my husband badly. In my opinion there is no excuse for treating your partner badly in a swing situation. People who do are really unattractive in the worst possible way.

Of course I don’t know all the details of this particular couple’s relationship and so my reading of the situation may be mistaken. It is something that I have seen before and probably have been guilty of myself from time to time. We all make mistakes. That is OK as long as we learn from them. At the end of the day we are going home with our respective partners they are the ones we have to live with and so it makes sense that we remember that.

My New Pet

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I have a LOT of pets; cats, chickens, ducks, geese, budgies, fish, kids, a husband….. I am frequently having to tell my children “no more animals” but when you are at the Produce buying food for your menagerie these baby fluffy things look at you and then somehow they find their way into your car and your heart. You know how it goes.

Pet was a little bit like that. I met him at a party a couple of years ago. At the time things didn’t really pan out but recently we bumped into each other again and one thing led to another….. You know how it goes. After we dealt with the sexual energy that had built up and scratched an itch that had been two years in the scratching we had a chat about what we were interested in exploring. He told me that what he really wanted was to be a pet to some nice mistress.

I have toyed with the idea of being a “Miss” before. I have written some stories about it, look for “Declan and Mrs Smythe” on Erotic Adventures I promise to post some excerpts over the summer. But somehow it scared me a little. I didn’t have the confidence in my ability to dominate someone in the way that you read about in all the D/s stuff on the net. Added to that I wasn’t sure I wanted to punish the way Dommes seem to.

Pet is a very persuasive kind of person. In fact he isn’t the kind of guy that I would have expected would take very well to being given instructions or having restrictions placed on him. I was surprised at his request and very hesitant. The purist in me felt as if he wasn’t really going to be a submissive because even though I was playing the dominant role it was under his direction….. Yeh I have issues with overthinking.

And so here I was naked with this guy who had just fucked me senseless in a way that I hadn’t been for far too long who was literally begging me to let him be my pet because he just wanted to please his Miss. The closest analogy I can come up with is that he reminded me of a puppy, all excited and jumping around . Like the cute fluffy goslings at the produce store I couldn’t say no to his to him. Now I find myself with Pet.

This whole thing is new and both of us are making it up as we go. It is not a complete D/s relationship which suits me fine but all in all he is a very well behaved pet. He has some very sensual kinks. Unlike a lot of men he is very interested in touch, feel and sensual pleasure. The part where he sticks his dick into a hole is secondary for him. His interest in underwear and how it feels, smells and looks is something which a lot of people find a bit confronting. For me I have to say as a younger person I would have reacted the same way. But now it is proving to be extremely sexy. There is something very sensual about the feel of silky fabric against your skin. There is something even sexier about seeing and feeling it on someone else especially when you have just instructed them to put it on.

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There are many things about this man that are opening my eyes to the possibilities but something that springs to mind almost every time I think of him is the re-discovery of how sensual a bare handed spanking can be. I have always enjoyed a good spank during play but often men are hesitant to spank because they are afraid to hurt. Or they hurt, and not in a good way. There is an art to delivering a good spanking. I am learning that the pleasure is not just in receiving but also in giving. Something about the contact of two skin surfaces is so very sexy. Right here right now I would say without hesitation that bare handed spanking is on my top ten list of pleasures.

Despite my original misgivings, as I just described, I am starting to enjoy giving instructions and coming up with activities for Pet. The pure sensuality of pushing boundaries and observing his pleasure is liberating in a way I find hard to describe. In some ways it is like playing Barbies in a very grown up way. I get to dress him, and put him in whatever position pleases me. I am very much looking forward to more sessions of using him as my personal fuck toy.

TMI Tuesday – Relationship Stuff

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1. A sexy person you’ve been admiring says, “Let’s do something wild together.” What is the thing you pick to do?
This depends a lot on the person, the situation, the location etc so it is difficult to give a specific answer but for the sake of the game I will be HUGELY inappropriate and pretend that the sexy person is a colleague who from my previous employment. I think a little late afternoon car park head job would be really cool and if the mood took us booking into the first hotel we could find to spend the night fucking like rabbits,

2. I saw this headline: Whip Your Vagina Into Shape. Sadly the subject matter wasn’t what I wanted. Anywho…which way would you prefer to whip your vagina into shape. (Fellas you can select your fave way you’d like to whip a pussy or see it whipped)
a. a nice, stingy pussy spanking by hand.
b. doing kegel exercises with kegel balls.
c. having some SM master/mistress actually whip your pussy, with a whip!

Again depending on my mood I would choose different options. I have actually enjoyed a nice session of b,from time to time, especially when sitting at my computer for a couple of hours.
To try something a little different I think I would go with c. But only with someone I trusted to give just the right amount of sting with their whipping,

3. When in a relationship (married, living together or dating) What do you do if you want to be alone for a while? How do you get “me” time?
At the moment I am home during the day while everyone else is at school / work so I get a fair bit of “me” time. However school holidays start at the end of this week and for the next eight weeks me time is going to be fairly limited. My strategy then will be to go into my bedroom and shut the door.

4. Which of these subjects causes the most tension or fighting between you and your significant other?
a. in-laws
b. children/step-children
c. finances
d. housekeeping

Definitely d.I recently had the carpet cleaned. Mr Jones stayed home for the morning to help with moving furniture etc. There was a lot said about the amount of clutter in our bedroom. Now that the carpet is dry I am quietly waiting to see how long it takes before his resolve wavers and he is back to using the corners of the bedroom as a storage for his clothing.

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5. When breaking up with someone or ending a relationship, which method is more your style?
a. dramatic exit– sending texts and phone calls and taking the chance to vent about all the things you didn’t like about the person.
b. play it cool and be upfront and tell them “it’s not working out.”
c. slow down the
time you spend together…fade away and disappear without a word.
Mr Jones and I have been married for sixteen years so breaking up is not something that I have had to do. These days the closest thing to breaking up that I have needed to do is splitting from playmates. This is usually a painless process which involves just fading away but every now and then you need to man up and tell someone it isn’t working. As long as you are tactful. It generally goes fairly well.

6. I know none of YOU would ever break up with someone via text message (btw, there is an app for that http://www.breakuptext.me/) but if you did, what would your text read?
Given my answer to 5. I would have to say I have broken up with people by text. Because they are not romantic relationships with large emotional investments it tends to be fairly business like. Something along the lines of;
I am sorry but I don’t think you / this is what I am looking for.
Or if I am feeling a bit whimpy;
Things have gotten really hectic with work and the family and I just can’t fit you into my caleasndar right now.
Having said that I would NEVER break up with someone by text if I was in a romantic relationship and I go to great lengths to instil that value into my teenage children.

Bonus: Would you like you if you met you? Why?
I am not really sure about this one. I think generally yes. There would probably be quite a few times though where I would be very tempted to tell myself to “grow a set” and get on with life.

 

As always for more TMI goodness you can head on over to the TMI Tuesday page.

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This is NOT Bookclub

For the people out there who have not been following me for long and for those of you who have been living under a rock here are a couple of facts about me that you may or may not be aware of;
1. I am a massive exhibitionist
2. I love to suck cock
So, now that we have that straight I will continue with my story.

Last Saturday evening Mr Jones and myself decided to visit a swingers club that we frequent. The evening started out in the usual way, we had some drinks, we chatted with some people and played some pool. As is the way in venues like this the evening started out fairly awkward with couples all sitting around huddled next to each other looking at the crowd around them. Once everyone had a few drinks the more outgoing folk started to make themselves known to the folks they were interested in.

Standing at the bar I became part of a conversation with an attractive but slightly inebriated young lady who was unhappy with the state of affairs downstairs in the main play area. This area is a large lounge like room furnished with couches that is away from the main bar, smoking and traffic areas and often becomes the site of a fair bit of action. My new friend was proclaiming that tonight, however, it was like being at book club. In her opinion there was not enough nudity and adult action.

She went on to explain that it was her boyfriend’s birthday after midnight and that he was to be subjected to as much stimulation as possible without any chance of climax. She also went on to boast about his size and challenged any woman within earshot to get more than an inch of his cock into her mouth. Immediately I was up for the challenge.

And so a group led by the Pocket Rocket invaded the “book club”. Under instruction from Pocket Rocket several of us lost clothing and she proceeded to tease her lover. Once his pants were off I was keen to see the large member she boasted of, I was a little disappointed, but he turned out to be a bit of a grower.

Eventually I was able to take her up on her challenge. He did have rather a nice cock and it was hair free which is always a good thing. Another good feature was his head, the smaller one, which was kind of pointy which serves well for deep throating. Considering it was his birthday I took my time with him and encouraged him to a good size and hardness which can be hard for a guy when he has had a few drinks and has a large audience. I then proceeded to take the bulk of his cock into my mouth which shocked Pocket Rocket a little.

As I said earlier, I love sucking cock. I love teasing a completely flaccid guy into a full blown throbbing hard on using only my mouth. I love you engulfing a shy cock with my lips and holding it until it forces its way out of my mouth with its excitement. And I love, love, love, looking into a man’s eyes as I fuck his cock with my mouth. I also love doing this in front of a live audience. The thought of other men touching themselves while watching me is one of my biggest turn ons. So I was in my element.

It turned out that Pocket Rocket had the attention span of a goldfish and despite how impressed she was by my ability she was soon off in search of another audience and some more stimulation. Which suited me fine. I would very much have liked to follow such an impressive head job with a damn good fucking from the cock I had just sucked so well but I also had other fish to fry.

Did I mention that I am sometimes into women, awkward guys and oddly, of late, the occasional hairy chest? And so the night progressed. Yes Pocket Rocket was right. It is definitely NOT Book Club.

If you either live in Brisbane or are visiting Mr Jones and I would recommend that you check out Mikes Place, unless of course you are looking for a real book club.

Body Image Part 1

Recently I found myself at a swingers club participating in and spectating at an amateur strip competition. The club owners conceived the competition to encourage their patrons to get up and strut their stuff all in the name of good fun. The general idea was complete acceptance of all body shapes and confirmation of the appeal of all people whatever their shape and size. Unfortunately for me I chose to enter on the same night that a whole lot of young bendy sexy things were in attendance and I found myself wondering what I had been thinking when I put my name down to do this.

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I had decided to do a duo with a friend and we enjoyed ourselves immensely. Her partner and mine also enjoyed our performance as well. Which at the end of the day was all that really mattered to either of us. Once the younger more stereotypically attractive girls took over we decided that we would find something more interesting to do than hear what we already knew, that we didn’t win.

In one way it was disappointing I kinda hoped that there would be some kind of triumph of real bodies over young bendy bodies. The younger women had lacked showmanship and their appeal was based mainly around the attractiveness of their bodies, not around how they entertained the crowd. Typically, their friends and supporters were enthusiastic in their support of them but didn’t even bother to watch the other competitors.

Earlier in the day I had shopped with a vague notion of finding a new sexy club dress to wear to the event, I have put on a small amount of weight recently. I hadn’t really given it much consideration but I found myself in change room mirror after change room mirror admitting that the dress that looked great on the rack did not have enough room for my boobs and sometimes my ass.

I am not large by any stretch of the imagination but in stores that sell the kinds of clothes I was looking for stock mainly size 8. There isn’t much hope for a size 12 to 14 woman. What rubbed salt even deeper into the wound was that the stores stocking size 12 – 14 were also about sensible mumsy fashion. Not about cleavage and short skirts. The take home message I got from that? I am too old and too fat to wear sexy clothes.

In the aftermath of my failed shopping, dealing with sexy women with perfectly pert breasts and firm, smooth asses made me begin to wonder if I was the sex goddess that I perceived myself to be. I began to question the things that Mr Jones and other men told me and started to think that their compliments were just ruses to get into my pants. I started to believe that I was just another fat old lady.

It is strange how much ego stroking we all crave. Clearly I am a sexy beast, Men (and women) did notice me. More than one man (and woman) expressed a desire to have sex with me; so clearly I am attractive, But even such rational thinking was not convincing my self esteem. Somehow the small voice of self – doubt was screaming louder than the calm voice of reason. I was like a drug addict craving the next hit

A couple of years ago I was completely confident in myself. Now I find myself wondering. Spending the evening comparing myself to women who were much younger than me was definitely not doing anything to improve my self confidence. Just as the only real way to feel good about yourself is to truly believe in yourself the most efficient way to feel bad about yourself is to spend an evening comparing yourself convince yourself that you don’t measure up to other people around you.

Eventually the rational part of my brain managed to gain control. Yes the young bendy blonde was hot and all the guys were ogling her. But only in the same sort of way they look at models in a magazine. I am never going to be one of them. Maybe once I was but it must have been in an alternative universe because I don’t remember it. I don’t truly believe that I am a stunning sex goddess but enough people out there seem to. So it must be true on some level. Today I am in the process of re-convincing myself. If I tell myself enough, then one day I might just believe it.

 

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Why Does it Have to be so Hard

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So I have been looking for a playmate on and off for probably over a year now. When I say looking I don’t mean searching high and low, spending hours trolling through internet hook up sites and messaging every possibility on social media but looking in the sense that my eyes are open to opportunities and I pursue certain gentlemen when they happen to come into my notice.

So for me the process is a fairly passive one. Most of my suitors have approached me first when I have been doing nothing but merely going about my business. Sometimes this works but most of the time it doesn’t. I can’t really complain about that because the amount of effort I am putting in is fairly small.

A few months ago for some odd reason the planets aligned and I received a few messages from some random single guys on through my Fetlife account. I have no idea what caused them to stumble across me but like a polite well brought up young lady I replied and a few messages were exchanged. Most of them either petered out or I decided very quickly that they were not people I was interested in.

One however persisted. I had not really been out in the word of playing seriously for quite some time because my work had been all consuming and so I decided that I would meet this guy for a coffee to see where things would lead. In the past when I have done this things have gone in all sorts of directions including to a well known incident in a car park behind Bunnings. Readers of Erotic Adventures may remember that story.

This day was not to be anywhere near as fun as the Bunnings incident. There was something about the gentleman in question that was nagging me but I decided to persist. I should have listened to the nagging voice. It turned out to be one of the longest coffee dates I have ever known. Not only was he completely unattractive to me, he smelled bad and he had very few social skills. Within the first five minutes he had insulted my religion and my profession. Not only that but he completely ignored my attempts to change the subject. For the first time ever I seriously considered walking out leaving my unfinished coffee behind.

Afterwards I launched a twitter rant about the failure of the afternoon stating that if it was this hard I would seriously consider becoming monogamous again. Of course I was met with a barrage of men proclaiming that THEY would not waste my time. I began chatting with a gentleman who promised the world. After exchanging pictures and lots of words I was indeed very keen to meet. Hot sex with a sexy younger man seemed imminent.

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I should have known better really. After a couple of attempts at meeting in person and many refusals on my part to partake in internet sex (I don’t do web sex but I will save that discussion for another post) I found myself back at square one without any hot sex with younger men under my belt. After four attempts at trying to actually press flesh with this guy I resigned myself to the idea that it was never going to happen.

I find myself asking, What is so complicated about this?. What is so hard about getting two people to be naked together? Is seems a simple enough premise. I am a woman, with a fully functioning vagina, I am not unattractive, I am looking for a guy to have sex with. Not necessarily a hot young thing, I am pretty relaxed about the looks thing. I am fairly flexible about time, placement etc but for some reason all of the men who put their hand up suddenly find it too difficult when the time comes to put their money where their mouth is.

It is frustrating. I am fairly upfront and clear about what I want and what I do and don’t accept. All I am asking everyone else to do is the same. If you want to do the online chatting and camming thing that is fine, there are plenty of women out there who will scratch that itch with you. I am not one of them. Don’t waste my time and yours by pretending you are going to give me what I want in the hope that I will give you what you want.

In fact that is the one key piece of advice I would give to every person everywhere in the dating world, casual sex hook ups or otherwise. Just be open, upfront and honest about what you are looking for. Don’t pretend that you are looking for something that you aren’t just to get an in. Faking it is not going to increase your chances of getting what you actually want. It is just going to create stress and angst and ultimately lead to women who think men are all jerks and disengage from the dating scene leaving a huge herd of men who can’t understand where all the women went.

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