Weekend Meanderings

We have arrived In Port Stephens and yesterday spent a lovely day touring the coast. It is my first visit to this area either by land or by sea and I am enjoying seeing a different coastline with some entertaining and generous hosts. There were many sights to see and as a science and geology nerd I was kept interested by some spectacular rock formations. I don’t think I will ever tire of observing how the ocean shapes the coastline.

One of the highlights of the day was a sighting of a vulnerable species of sea bird called a Gould’s Petrel. Our hosts were proud to tell us that this particular species only nests in two places near their home. As we were cruising past these nesting sites we were discussing what the birds looked like and I observed what I thought was a tern. After some googling we discovered that we had in fact just observed a pair of the elusive birds. Further research taught me that in 1995 there were as few as 220 breeding pairs in existence but conservation work has helped the numbers to increase to around 1000 breeding pairs in 2007.

Later that evening we were discussing mutual friends and the definition of wanker came up in conversation. Mr Fisherman thought that our excitement about seeing the Gould’s Petrels would in many people’s eyes make us seem unusual and possibly fall into this category. My personal opinion for what it is worth…

It is a great tragedy that so many Australians have never travelled outside of major cities or regional centres and that most Australian school children are completely unfamiliar with all but the most common Australian native animals such as magpies, kangaroos and koalas.

If that makes me a wanker then so be it.

Later that evening we enjoyed each other’s company in a more adult way. There may have been some wankING but there were no wankERs.

It’s Not Goodbye It is See You Later

Photo by Dim Hou on Unsplash

Sometime in 2020 Mr Jones replied to a post in a social “Lifestyle” group about a weekend long house party. At the time we had retreated from quite a few friendships that we had made in the swing scene and I was in the process of pushing us back into the world of socialising. We met a few people on that weekend. Mr and Mrs Bubble, our hosts for the weekend have been a feature of our lives since then.

But they were not the only people we met. There were two other couples one of whom we did not stay in touch with. I was definitely interested but the Mrs of the pairing was not sure about the whole swinging thing and while the Mr was very keen I wasn’t about to get into a situation that involved deceit or coercion.

The third couple we have kept in contact with. I am not going to lie, the friendship has been a slow burn. The first night we met there was much drinking. They are both heavy smokers and I made a statement about not being interested in playing with a smoker. It may or may not have been delivered in a less than tactful way. I am socially awkward at the best of times drunk I am less reserved but my filter is completely removed. What comes out is what comes out. So we didn’t get off to the best start. For the longest time I wasn’t sure if THEY liked US. And so I didn’t push it.

0ver time we found ourselves hanging out with these people more and more. Mr and Mrs Bubble are the glitzy champagne set type. There is this allure about them that makes everyone want to be their friend. Their circle is filled with the drama and gossip that goes along with social climbing. These guys are salt of the earth people. They do what they do and they say what they say. Mr takes the opportunity to remind me about the smoking statement frequently because he is a shit stirrer and he enjoys seeing me squirm. But I believe there is no malice in the statement. There was also an unfortunate incident that involved a misplaced spank. Again alcohol and no filter. Again he reminds me of it frequently and every time I feel a twinge of embarrassment.

Something I wasn’t entirely aware of was that Mrs is a regular reader. She recently informed me that one of my stories made her so horny that she held Mr down and fucked the life out of him after she read it. Something I find incredibly flattering. I was challenged by Mrs about not having a “blog identity”. Like Mr and Mrs Bubble. Fair comment. People like to read about themselves. I guess it makes them feel as if they have made a mark in your life. As I said this relationship has been a slow burn but I hope it will be one that endures. As a result of the challenge I have been wracking my brain for a couple of weeks trying to think of an appropriate name. Usually the names come easily. This one for some reason isn’t but then it appeared. Not sure if they will like it but hello Mr and Mrs Crazy Arse. Thank you for being part of our lives!

Thank you for giving us perspective in the crazy social world that revolves around the Bubbles and the events we find ourselves at.

Now that you have been introduced I am sad to say you are moving away and will be further away from us. Hopefully we will still be able to see each other and catch up.

I Love you Pisshead

This week’s prompt

I have this friend. It is one of the most unusual relationships I have ever had or heard of anyone else having. He is also one of my oldest friends. I met him what seems like a million years ago through some weird flirty Facebook app back when I masqueraded as a stay home parent for a couple of years. Mr Jones and I had embarked on our swinging journey but I wouldn’t say that we had settled in to it very well. Hence the weird flirty app that I never really told him about.

My friend, Petal, for want of a better name, lived close to where I had as a child. Considering that I come from a relatively small town it is interesting that we didn’t really know each other. Although we worked out that we have some mutual acquaintances. Back then he was unhappy with most of the things in his life, his job, his marriage, how his finances were placed. We chatted I think on MSN (who even remembers that!!). I used to call him Mr Grumpy because he was always complaining.

We lived a five hour drive apart. Meeting in real life was never a priority for us. So we chatted, at first on MSN and then by text. We spoke most days even if it was to say good morning and good night only. In between we talked about everything. His job, his marriage, our kids, my sex life, his lack of sex life. He was one of the few people who knew all my nuances.

He told me that I was his fantasy girl. He was infatuated by my sexual openness and adventures and loved to hear tales and receive the occasional picture. For my part I enjoyed the ego boost of his compliments. Mr Jones was always aware of our communication and sometimes participated in the conversation. Like me he was in awe of this unique relationship.

Despite the distance that separated us most of the time there were occasions when we were close enough together to touch but we never met in person. There was always an excuse or some life event that got in the way. I found this a little disconcerting and questioned him about it. He told me that I was his fantasy girl that lived in his phone and he didn’t want to risk the relationship by bringing it into reality. How could I disagree with that?

Time passed he moved even further away from me, got a better job and somehow his relationship with his wife matured and became comfortably happy. Still we kept in contact, sharing little life events, deaths of workmates, unexpected grandparent hood, sex, lack of sex, masturbation and sometimes pictures. He became a FIFO worker in a coal mine and his habit on finishing his shift was to have a few drinks. I could always tell when he had done this because I would receive the text

“I love you.”

My reply was always the same

“I love you too pisshead.” For those who aren’t familiar with the term, it is an Australian slang word for someone who drinks regularly or who is drunk.

And we do love each other. In the way of lifelong friends who may or may not fuck at some time.

During 2019 we actually met!! He gave up watching State of Origin to meet me when I was staying overnight in his town. Again, for the non Australians State of Origin has the same level of importance as the Superbowl. We sat on the beach and chatted. I got my first “Petal hug” it was amazing. Nothing about how we were changed after that meeting. We agreed that we may have sex sometime but only if it felt right. Since then we have continued in our old patterns. Except now we just say we love each other. There doesn’t have to be alcohol involved.

I have made a statement that we should meet in person at least once each year. It took us eight years to meet for the first time. I don’t want to wait eight more years for another hug. I am not sure if I will be able to make this happen. There is more than 1000 kilometres between us. Add to that the unusual nature of our friendship and it is complex.

We still text most days even if it is just to say hello. I still notice if I haven’t heard from him in a few days. He is truly a lifelong friend. I hope that we keep in touch for the rest of our lives,