What’s in a Name

I started writing erotica sometime around 2010. Our family had just returned from a three month caravan trip through the wilds of South and Western Australia and the Northern Territory. During that time I used a blog as a way of sharing my adventures with family and friends. My romance with the written word began….

Upon our return I started writing erotica based on the adventures I was having as part of my swinging journey. I didn’t have the confidence to go blazing ahead with a blog at first. I tested the waters by posting one of my stories on the dating website we use. Given that the audience was a bunch of people looking for other people to have sex with it was well received. I looked further afield and discovered Literotica.

It was there that I honed my skills of writing by using some of their help articles and later with the assistance of a volunteer editor. While writing there I used the pen name Babeslady, which is a play on the name Mr Jones uses for me and my actual name. It was in those early days I wrote a story about an adventure I had with Mr Jones that involved another woman he saw for a little while. She and I co-wrote the story. For this story I had to give myself a name. For no other reason than I liked it, I chose Gemma. Because I liked it, it became the name I used when I did start a blog a short while later. The second name Jones just seemed to fit. I didn’t know there is a British Actress of that name until I had already set up my first blog and Twitter account. It was too late then.

Source https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0428121/

So that was how I became Gemma Jones. I use the name for most things on the net associated with my lifestyle. When I talk to potential lovers online I introduce myself as Gemma. Some of them learn my real name, some of them work it out for themselves, some of them are none the wiser. It honestly doesn’t matter. In my mind Gemma is almost a separate person from the everyday woman who gets up, goes to school, teaches a bunch of teenagers and then comes home to make dinner and watch TV. Gemma is an adventurer who posts pictures of her body online and writes stories that excite and arouse.

In my current blog when I refer to my adventurous life I speak about Gemma, when I speak about my mundane life I refer to myself as Mrs Jones. It helps to keep my mind straight although I am sure there is more crossover than I realise. May Moor, in her post on this topic, states that she “has become so comfortable in May’s shoes (wellies actually) that I see us as one” As I read that statement I found myself nodding. Even though there is a delineation between Gemma and Mrs Jones we are really just two sides of the same coin.

I wish the world was such that we didn’t need to hide parts of us from conservative, small minded people. But it is not. And so until I retire and no longer need to appear to conduct myself in a socially acceptable way Gemma will be that delicious part of me that comes out for special people.

This post is part of this week’s 4 Thoughts or Fiction prompt #169 Pen name. Click the image below to read some other entries.

All Work

A couple of years ago I was essentially a stay at home Mum. My time was my own and there was no real demands on my time. Nor were there any real consequences to be feared from people finding out about my alternative marriage arrangements. The only aspect of my life that conflicted with my marriage choice was a parent at my children’s Catholic primary school discovering my secret and using it against them in some way. Even that issue was not particularly concerning to me. At that time in my life I believed that the path to more people accepting non-monogamy was more non-monogamous people being more open about their lifestyle.

Four years ago I started a teaching degree which I completed and in due course I commenced working as a teacher. It turned out that being Gemma took up an awful lot of time. Time that I suddenly found I didn’t have. Consequently my Erotic Adventures became fewer and further between. I found myself regressing into the person I was before Gemma came along. My sex life found itself squeezed into the tiny cracks in time that came along very infrequently. Getting into the headspace where I could truly let myself go and live in the sexual moment has become incredibly difficult.

Along with the lack of opportunity my desire to even consider being Gemma has become very sporadic. It’s a kind of chicken and egg thing really. Does the lack of opportunity create less Gemma or does the smaller amount of Gemma headspace mean I don’t create opportunity? Either way the effect is the same, a lot of work and not much playing.

I have been down this road before. At a time when I have two small children and was hell bent on being a throughly modern woman who had a career and still manage be a perfect mother. I refused to ask for help then and my marriage went almost to breaking point. I am afraid of the same thing happening again even though I know the warning signs.

Even though I have journeyed through something like this and made it out the other side I still worry that I won’t be able to avoid falling into the same trap. And if I do fall into that trap I won’t be able to get out a second time. Or even better avoid the trap altogether,

It is a challenge. A lot of days I think keeping Gemma alive is not worth the effort. I think I would have a quieter life if I just let her die her death. Writing this post I have realised that her existence is important. I have to find a way to keep her alive both in my mind and in reality. I have to find a way to open up more time and headspace for her. The consequences of not finding that space are not worth considering.

All work and no play make Mrs Jones not worth keeping up with.