In the Moment

It has been documented that my sessions with Johnny are wet, sexy, loud and involve a multitude of orgasms of many different types. The word he uses to describe it is “ridiculous”. Not in a negative way but in the completely unbelievable, surreal way. Johnny is a man of experience. He likes to fuck, he is exceptionally good at it and he is in demand. I count myself as being very fortunate to be on his VIP list.

One of the things that keeps Johnny coming back is the “ridiculousness” which he says is unusual. I know that many women struggle to orgasm. With Johnny I get into a zone where I sometimes can’t stop. There have been times in my past when I was the woman who struggled to orgasm. I was unsure of my own sexiness and not confident enough to express what I want.

At those times I took what was offered to me and I dealt with it. I tolerated bad sex and fumbling and discomfort because I wanted to please people and make everyone around me happy. I never really faked an orgasm but I maybe enhanced my vocal appreciation a little and I often didn’t let on when things weren’t right.

Over time and with age and experience I learned to value myself more. I learned that my pleasure and on a more basic level, comfort, is just as important as everyone else’s. I learned that the only way to combat bad sex is to call it what it is, bad sex. The only way a man, or woman, is going to know what is working for me is by me telling them. I had a responsibility to know what works for me and that is a separate journey. The most critical part of this equation for me is accepting that I am enough, by myself. I don’t need to accommodate lazy or selfish lovers just so I can have a companion.

This last part is hard. It is hard to be confident enough in yourself to know that you will be OK alone. But knowing that means you are confident enough to set a high standard for the people you accept into your life. It means you are confident enough to let someone know when they are not pushing your buttons. It means you are confident enough to let people in who do push your buttons and suddenly the door to ridiculous opens.

Ridiculous happens when you are relaxed and open to what is happening around you. When you have ensured that the right people are in the room and you can relax and enjoy yourself. When you are not worrying about making someone else happy or making allowances and telling yourself that it doesn’t matter that they aren’t getting it quite right you can’t truly be in the moment. For ridiculous to happen you have to be in the moment. Completely absorbed in the interaction between the people in the room with you, completely relaxed and open to the possibilities.

You have to be confident.

This post is part of 4 Thoughts or Fiction prompt #153. Use the link below to find more thoughts and stories about confidence.

Why Oh Why – Seven Questions About Love and Loss

These questions were posed by Duncan Lory at “Your Sex Interview I am hoping that he doesn’t mind that I lifted them so that I could share some deep insights with you. Or at least some rambling stuff.

1. Why do the ones we desire the most — always have the most desire for someone else?

The obvious answer to this one is because we always want what we can’t have. I guess this is a basic feature of human nature. When we go out for dinner, the meal ordered by someone else always looks better than ours, the dress that our friend buys looks better than the one we got, even when ours was the last one on the rack and it was 60% off.

In my experience the people we desire and pursue the most are not always the ones we should be pursuing. We always seem to crave what is unhealthy. So perhaps making sure what we are pursuing is not available is the universe protecting us from ourselves.

2. Why are those who need the most improvement — always the ones who are the most critical?

My husband used to have a friend who had a very low self esteem. In a side note it turned out that he also had a bit of a thing for young boys and ended up in jail. Hence the ex-friend status.

However, whenever you played a game with this person he HAD to win by crushing his opponent. It was not enough for him to win by a small margin. It had to be significant. Clearly this person needed improvement. Not just in his sexual preferences. There were a lot of aspects of his life that were not up to scratch. I guess his opinion of himself was so low that he simply couldn’t see himself winning at anything purely from his own ability. The only way he was able to make himself feel good was to make someone else feel bad.

Fast forward to now. My own battles with the black dog have shown me that when I am down and struggling I lash out and hurt the people around me. It seems to be human nature to hurt others when we are in pain ourselves. It is easier to hurt or be critical of someone than it is to deal with our garbage and pull ourselves upward.

3. Why aren’t the ones we are the most attracted to — required by law, to sleep with us?

Recently I had a conversation with a guy on the dating app that I use that kind of answers this question. His profile was a bit bland but one of his photos kind of intrigued me so I responded to his initial message. The second message and a re-read of his profile made me decide that I wasn’t interested. So I messaged back saying I wasn’t really seeing new people right now. the conversation went like this;

“Sorry for taking up your time but I am not really seeing new people right now.” Me

“You looked at my profile and then you wrote that why don’t you just be honest.” Him

Ok if you want to play it that way. Your pics are not that great and I don’t find them that sexy. Your profile is bland and it doesn’t have anything in it that interests me.”

“This is a sex site not a dating app”

It was hard for me to walk away from the last comment without unleashing a diatribe about having the right to choose who I fuck on my terms and just because he has a penis does not mean he has the right to fuck whoever he chooses. You get the picture.

Many people when seeking out sex don’t stop to consider the other person. It happens all the time in the swing scene. A couple attend an event or a club with a list of fantasies or wishes and when the object of their desire does not respond and act the way they fantasised they get all uppity and cranky about it.

Sex is a two way thing. There has to be attraction from both parties. If you are fucking someone who doesn’t want you, that is rape, or at very very best non consensual.

So there are actually three more questions in this series. Stay tuned.

I Love you Pisshead

This week’s prompt

I have this friend. It is one of the most unusual relationships I have ever had or heard of anyone else having. He is also one of my oldest friends. I met him what seems like a million years ago through some weird flirty Facebook app back when I masqueraded as a stay home parent for a couple of years. Mr Jones and I had embarked on our swinging journey but I wouldn’t say that we had settled in to it very well. Hence the weird flirty app that I never really told him about.

My friend, Petal, for want of a better name, lived close to where I had as a child. Considering that I come from a relatively small town it is interesting that we didn’t really know each other. Although we worked out that we have some mutual acquaintances. Back then he was unhappy with most of the things in his life, his job, his marriage, how his finances were placed. We chatted I think on MSN (who even remembers that!!). I used to call him Mr Grumpy because he was always complaining.

We lived a five hour drive apart. Meeting in real life was never a priority for us. So we chatted, at first on MSN and then by text. We spoke most days even if it was to say good morning and good night only. In between we talked about everything. His job, his marriage, our kids, my sex life, his lack of sex life. He was one of the few people who knew all my nuances.

He told me that I was his fantasy girl. He was infatuated by my sexual openness and adventures and loved to hear tales and receive the occasional picture. For my part I enjoyed the ego boost of his compliments. Mr Jones was always aware of our communication and sometimes participated in the conversation. Like me he was in awe of this unique relationship.

Despite the distance that separated us most of the time there were occasions when we were close enough together to touch but we never met in person. There was always an excuse or some life event that got in the way. I found this a little disconcerting and questioned him about it. He told me that I was his fantasy girl that lived in his phone and he didn’t want to risk the relationship by bringing it into reality. How could I disagree with that?

Time passed he moved even further away from me, got a better job and somehow his relationship with his wife matured and became comfortably happy. Still we kept in contact, sharing little life events, deaths of workmates, unexpected grandparent hood, sex, lack of sex, masturbation and sometimes pictures. He became a FIFO worker in a coal mine and his habit on finishing his shift was to have a few drinks. I could always tell when he had done this because I would receive the text

“I love you.”

My reply was always the same

“I love you too pisshead.” For those who aren’t familiar with the term, it is an Australian slang word for someone who drinks regularly or who is drunk.

And we do love each other. In the way of lifelong friends who may or may not fuck at some time.

During 2019 we actually met!! He gave up watching State of Origin to meet me when I was staying overnight in his town. Again, for the non Australians State of Origin has the same level of importance as the Superbowl. We sat on the beach and chatted. I got my first “Petal hug” it was amazing. Nothing about how we were changed after that meeting. We agreed that we may have sex sometime but only if it felt right. Since then we have continued in our old patterns. Except now we just say we love each other. There doesn’t have to be alcohol involved.

I have made a statement that we should meet in person at least once each year. It took us eight years to meet for the first time. I don’t want to wait eight more years for another hug. I am not sure if I will be able to make this happen. There is more than 1000 kilometres between us. Add to that the unusual nature of our friendship and it is complex.

We still text most days even if it is just to say hello. I still notice if I haven’t heard from him in a few days. He is truly a lifelong friend. I hope that we keep in touch for the rest of our lives,


Tall strong body

Long arms wrapped around

Warm breath in my hair

I rest my head against your shoulder

And I breathe

Inhale, your scent fills my nostrils

Exhale, stale air leaves my lungs

Inhale, freshness brings energy into my lungs

Exhale, I feel the negativity and stress leaving me

Your arms around me tighten

Holding me firmly against you

Protecting me

Inhale, strength building

Exhale, exhaustion fading

Your arms relax slowly

Releasing me

I hold tightly, not ready to leave yet

A few more moments

Inhale, energy in

Exhale, stress out

I am almost ready

My arms loosen

I tilt my face up to yours

Our lips meet

Strength flows from you to me

I am ready

To face the world again.

This post was part of Wicked Wednesday prompt #408 Hugging. While not specifically erotica I hope you enjoy this. As always make your way to Rebel’s page and check out the other entries.

TMI Tuesday – Happy New Year

This week’s questions seemed to take me in a trip down memory lane. I enjoyed reminiscing, I hope you enjoy my answers. As alway pleas make sure you visit TMI Tuesday and see what other participants are revealing this week.

1. What is the most useless thing you know how to do?

Make sand castles! In our family we build sand castles at every beach we visit. We have visited many beaches, in every state of Australia and in some Pacific countries. One of the coolest applications of this skill was helping a Japanese exchange student we had visiting us to experience the joy of building a sand castle.

2. Do you use sex to relieve stress? How?

I tend to find that sex when I am stressed is not usually that great. So I don’t tend to go there. I do sometimes masturbate if I am suffering from insomnia. Sometimes it helps me sleep. Sometimes it doesn’t.

3. What sex act or position did not thrill you until you tried it?

I have a bit of OCD about clean hands and skin so having bodily about bodily fluid on me is not something I am very keen on. As a result I was always a bit weird about cum on me. But once, to humour Mr Jones, who has a fetish for cum, I encouraged a man to cum on me while I was fucking Mr Jones. It turns out in the heat and excitement of sex I am actually really turned on by men cumming on my belly and my breasts. I don’t think I will put my hand up for a bukakke party any time soon but a load or two is pretty hot. Just not on my face.

4. What is the most unusual but fun sexual encounter you have had?

Once a very long time ago, in about 2012, I had an encounter with someone I met on the internet. I was very new to meeting people alone and when I agreed to meet this man for coffee I didn’t plan to do anything sexual. Despite this we found ourselves in the change room of the men’s department in a nearby Myers store. If you are interested in the entire story it can be read here.

For the record I am still friends with the man in question and we still reminisce about that spontaneous day.

5. What is something that can happen in the middle of sex that will make you put your pants on and walk out?

Mr Jones have been known to do this on occasion. The thing most likely to trigger this is any kind of conflict between the couple we are with. Sometimes, more often than you realise, couples THINK they are in to swapping partners but then they get into the heat of the moment and they realise that they actually don’t like seeing their partner with their cock in another woman’s mouth or with their hands on an other man’s junk and things get very weird and tense. This is usually about the time we put our pants on and make a hasty retreat.

Bonus: What was a random compliment that someone gave you that really stuck in your memory?

Once we were at a club and we were naked with another couple. A guy who was working at the bar was making his way back from a cigarette break and he stopped in to tell me I had a nice rack. It wasn’t an entirely appropriate intrusion into our play space and he was taking advantage of his employment to invade spaces that should have been kept private but at the time I was less confident in my body than I am now and I was very happy to be told by a random stranger that he enjoyed my breasts.

Bonus bonus a picture of my rack that I too last night

Crossing the Line

It has been a long while since I have added to the story I started as part of the Journey to Now page. During our recent cruise I had a fair bit of down time and I worked on some posts to add to the story. Now back in the land of the living I will hopefully be continuing to complete this. For those who are new to the blog please visit the “Journey to Now” page to catch up on the story.

Mr Jones has always been very clear about emotional ties with our play partners. He likes the friendship aspect of things but he is very much a one woman man. He has never been interested in having more than one romantic relationship. I never really gave the topic much thought but as time went on and we continued our relationship with Sheree and Wes I began to consider the idea of polyamory to something more than just a fantasy. Mr Jones described his feelings about Sheree in this way; “My dick likes having sex with her but I am not really in to her as a person that much.” In the beginning we spent a lot of time together as a foursome. Mostly we swapped partners and occasionally Sheree and I would have girl time together. I had visited Ladies night a few times by this stage and my desire to have sex with women was waning a little. Slowly I was coming to the realisation that what I really liked was cock. Nice, dare I say it, thick above average sized cock.

In contrast to Mr Jones’ feelings about Sheree, Wes and myself began realising that some feelings were beginning to develop between us. It was never really defined and Mr Jones and I seemed to talk about it sometimes but never in a really direct way. Certainly WES and I had several conversations about it. Some were vague and about the idea of polyamory in general, some were more direct and related to managing our feelings and relationship so as not to hire the other stakeholders.

Over Mr Jones and I became aware that all was not well in the Wes and Sheree household. Sheree had several mental health issues which they were quite open with us about but looking back I realise how naive I was about just how much Wes contributed to them and possibly used them as an excuse for some very bad behaviour. In any case circumstances led to Mr Jones engaging in his first experience of playing solo. We had never really discussed it but I had always stated that I was OK with him enjoying himself. Unlike him I was confident that he had no intention of running off with someone else and so I was, and still am, comfortable with him getting enjoyment from any experiences that come his way.

When he came home one day and told me that he and Sheree had taken advantage of a situation and engaged in a hot and heavy tryst in a park I was excited for him. I felt I was a much needed boost to his confidence. For myself I wasn’t particularly interested in solo play with Wes despite my growing feelings for him.

What did grow out of that first foray into playing without their partner in the room for Wes and Sheree was my first MMF. I requested this with some nervousness. I knew that Mr Jones was aware of how I felt about Wes and I had an inkling that he wasn’t entirely happy about what was happening. I guess looking back now he didn’t know how to stop what he may have seen as a runaway train. His confidence in my devotion to him was not as strong as mine in his and to be completely honest I was not as settled in my relationship as I could have been. Some of the issues that plagued our marriage earlier still lingered. At this time I had been forced to resign from my job and ultimately had to turn my back on a career I loved as a result of circumstances that stemmed largely from the trials and tribulations of adjusting to life with children. I felt strongly that this turn of events was due to some failings on Mr Jones’ part and even though I was working towards it I had by no means forgiven him.

In any case I found myself in a bed sandwiched for the first time between two men. Both Mr Jones and Wes had what I regarded as particularly nice cocks. I loved both of them, in my hand, in my mouth and in my pussy. At this time anal sex and I were still not really friends. Neither of my lovers really minded. The evening was an amazing experience for me. A lot of first times for many things happened; first spit roast, first time watching a man suck another’s cock and most importantly first time of double vaginal penetration.

This feat was not planned and was a result of some patience and a lot of communication between Mr Jones and Wes. I doubt very much if it would have been as successful if both me had not been so comfortable with themselves and each other as it required two penises to get into some very close quarters together. As I recall I lay on my side and Mr Jones entered me from behind. Dan had the trickier task of inserting himself into an already full pussy while facing me. It took some adjusting of legs, arms and hips but we achieved the goal. It was one of the most amazing, intimate experiences of my life. My pussy was stretched in the most pleasurable way and my body was pressed between both of the men I desired most in the world. It is something that I will never forget even now after so many different experiences and different men. It would be a very long time before I would experience that level of intimacy again.

A Blast From the Past

Several years ago I had a pet. Over the course of a couple of years we had some intense sexual encounters and explored some kinks. The relationship was sexual and definitely not romantic. We met we fucked, sometimes during a rest break we shared food. When he was working away (he was a FIFO ) we texted most days. The connection between us was strong. But then one day he disappeared. He was evasive and when I asked directly he told me it was time to move on. There was no explanation. And I didn’t ask. In my mind I didn’t have the right to ask. We were fuck buddies not dating. Neither owed the other anything.

That is not to say that it didn’t hurt. He left a gap in my life. One that was never filled. Most of the time it wasn’t a problem but sometimes I found myself thinking about our adventures and wishing they hadn’t ended.

Then last Saturday, randomly, I ran into him at the swingers club that Mr Jones and I visit from time to time. It was one of those nights when all sorts of people were popping out of corners and things were a little chaotic. I was chatting to a lady who was sitting nervously in the corner. She was explaining that her new-ish boyfriend had brought her along to check things out. Then there he was. I didn’t know where to look or what to say. We said hi. He kind of explained how he knew us to his new girl and then I ran away. I didn’t know what to say.

It took time to process the encounter. About 24 hours afterward I realised that it hurt my heart seeing him again. I guess I wasn’t as detached as I thought.

TMI Tuesday -Boxing Day Edition

Boxing Day is a public holiday that seems to be unique to Britain, Australia and possibly other parts of the British Commonwealth. The origins of the holiday are a little unclear but The Spruce gives some feasible explanations. In modern times it seems that Australians, and possibly Brits are really just celebrating their love of a public holiday. In Australia Boxing Day is marked by two great sporting traditions; The commencement of the Boxing Day test cricket match held at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) and the commencement of the Sydney to Hobart Yacht race in Sydney Harbour. Both contests are marathon tests of skill and stamina with the Sydney to Hobart being responsible for the loss of more than one life even in recent times. For us mere mortals it is a time to recover from over indulging on Christmas Day or perhaps just a way to extend to celebrations for a little longer. Most people would agree that Boxing Day is much more relaxed and if we do attend a gathering it will most likely be with people we actually like instead of fulfilling family requirements and satisfying obligations. 

Of course there is always time to enjoy some TMI goodness. 

1. Do you celebrate Christmas?

Yes. In the whole go to church, get together with the family and eat too much way. I am a practising Catholic so in some ways I take Christmas a little bit seriously. I know December 25 is not the day of Christ’s birth and I know that many of the Christmas traditions we observe are derived from Paganism but the essence of the day, the birth of a child that will change the world deserves some attention. If you are not a Christian then the idea of putting aside differences and taking time to be with people, somehow, also deserves some attention.

2. Tell us about your Christmas celebration.

In our family there is no specified format for Christmas. This year we, Mr Jones, Myself and our children have traveled to spend a few days with my parents at the Cattle Property in Central Queensland. We started the day with ham and pre birds for breakfast followed by unwrapping of presents. Followed by cold lunch on the verandah with my brother and his wife. The maximum temperature for the day was 37 degrees so the only thing I could have added was a swimming pool.

3. What season is it where you live?

It is most definitely summer with a vengeance. As I said in the previous response the maximum temperature yesterday was 37 degrees. In the morning I spoke with my brother who lives in southern New South Wales and they were experiencing a very chilly morning that required a jumper. My sister in law was adamant that this is not how Christmas should feel. I was reminded of this song.

4. It’s the end of the year, what are you still trying to accomplish before the end of the year?

Not really much. The main thing that is playing on my mind is continuing to reduce my weight and improve my fitness but that is more of a long term lifestyle thing.

5. Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve?

Mr Jones and I will be taking our yacht up the Brisbane River to weigh anchor and watch the fireworks off the Story Bridge. Some vanilla friends and our children will be joking us it should be a great relaxing night. 

 There was no bonus this week but in the spirit of  one of my favourite TMIers Nero Speaks I have added my own 

Bonus:What is on your ‘Fucket List’ for the coming year.

I have updated my Fucket List Page with a couple of items that are on the immediate horizon. I am hoping that The Englishman’s availability improves a little in the new year because he is cute and I have plans for him 😉

I hope you have enjoyed this rather rambling TMI make sure that you check out the other contributors at  TMI Tuesday 

You’re Joking… Right?

Recently I have joked to a couple of my chat friends that I am thinking about becoming celibate. They think the concept is hilarious. In their minds and probably in their fantasies I am still the sex goddess I was when they met me. I guess in some ways I am. In many others I am not.

The last couple of years have seen a lot of changes in my life. I think, finally, I have become a grownup. I have a real job; one where I have to be responsible all the time. I am currently the only person in my household that actually has a full time job so in some ways I am kind of the breadwinner. No not really, that would be too much grown up even for me. For the first time in a long time I am thinking about the future and the direction that I want to steer my life. Probably the most grown up thing a person can do. 

What, I hear you ask, have either of those things got to do with not being a sex goddess? The answer is actually not very much. Other than my headspace is not constantly occupied with thoughts or plans for the next adventure. Something that was a key part of being a sex goddess. These days when people ask me about my fucket list my answer is; “Fucket list, oh yeh I remember what one of those is”

I just realised; another key indicator of being a grown up, I use semi colons in my writing. Or is that a side effect of being a teacher? I don’t know but it a bit freaky, here I am pouring my heart out to the void of the Internet and I am ticking off grammar and sentence structure in my head. I need a really good fuck. 

So we were talking about fucket lists. I remember that I have often said I don’t like to have a specific list. But I guess that I kind of did. I kind of remember what was on it. Right now my fucket list consists of; have sex with my husband, have sex with Engineer X. Not necessarily in that order. Logistics seem to get in the way a lot these days. People think that having small children is a drag on your sex life. Those people really have no idea. Mainly because they are yet to experience having teenagers living with you. Small children don’t know, or care, if they walk in on you having sex. They are not scarred by the experience. What’s more they go to bed at a sensible hour meaning you can actually have pre sex on the couch before you start falling asleep. Teenagers don’t do that. They want to stay up and share their rubbish idea of what is good TV and make it awkward if you want to make sexy jokes with your husband. What’s worse is they don’t go to bed nice and early so that you can invite over some special people or when you get dressed to go out and meet said special people they ask all kinds of questions about where you are going. 

Actually my teenagers have kind of got the hint that asking too many questions is not a good idea so I guess I have trained them to a certain extent but it is still awkward getting out the door some days. Mr Jones is much more concerned about that kind of thing that me. I feel more comfortable being relatively candid. He does not. So we land somewhere in between which is, by definition, awkward. I guess I just have to keep telling myself that it is only temporary. Not that I am expecting them to move out but I am definitely not going to sugar coat things for my eighteen year old children just to spare them some awkwardness. That is just creating a rod for your own back. 

It seems I have worked through and dismissed my standard list of excuses for not being sexy enough so now I am left with a task; hang up my goddess cape or stop making excuses. My friends are right, hanging up the cape is a hilarious idea. Hilarious because it is so unlikely. And because I simply don’t want to. As much as Mr Jones is irritating me right now he is just going to have to get out his impressive junk and use it on me. Because a happy wife makes for a happy life and to be happier I need more sex in my life. 

Thanks for listening Internet Void, you are the best therapist ever. 

TMI Tuesday – Three is a Charm

Hello and welcome to Tuesday. I liked these questions and somehow I managed to find some time to actually sit down and answer them!

As always make sure you head over to the TMI page for more TMI revelations 

1. You are interviewing someone to be your lover, what are the 3 most important questions you will ask?

Funnily enough I have been involved in a large number of coffee dates that would equate to an interview for a lover. So here goes;

a) What exactly are you looking for? 

This is pretty important. It is also important to have confidence that the interviewee is being honest and up front.

b) How do you feel about being naked and potentially in close proximity to another man (my husband)?

This is a deal breaker. If a man is not comfortable being naked in the same bed as my husband they are not going to get past the coffee date 

c) How do you feel about public or semi public sex? 

This is not necessarily a deal breaker but someone who is comfortable in perusing opportunities for public sex is definitely going to have a higher chance of success. 

2. You are interviewing people to be your personal servant/valet. What are the 3 most important questions you will ask?
This was an interesting one. Initially I could only think of things that I don’t really need to ask about like what their ass looks like etc but after considering it more I did come up with a few things.

a) What is your opinion on non-Monogamy? 

b) Are you open to the idea of being involved in a less professional interaction? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, 😉😉

c) How do you feel about being naked and in close proximity to me and my husband? 

3. You are selecting a pet for you or your family. What are the 3 most important criteria?

a) Do we already have one of them? 

b) How will the new pet’s presence affect all of the other animals that live with us. 

Chickens, guinea pigs, geese, cats, budgies and fish in case you were wondering.

c) How will the potential new pet affect the garden around our house.

We live on acreage and I have vetoed getting a pet pig because I don’t want my landscaping destroyed any more than it already has been by the poultry. I will also mention that historically our pet selection has also been influenced strongly by coming accross an orphan or discarded animal.

4. Name 3 good things you did yesterday.

I must be a terrible person because I can’t think of even one good thing I did yesterday.  

5. Name 3 bad things you ate yesterday.

Chocolate, I keep a bag of Freddo Frogs in my desk ostensibly as prizes for classroom competitions but it does come in handy sometimes.

 For dinner I had two minute noodles at 10pm which is when I got home from pole dancing class. This was washed down with a Jack Daniels and coke. Technically that is not something bad to eat but it is TMI Tuesday so I am allowed to bend the rules a little. 

Bonus: It is said that bad these happen in threes. What was your last episode of 3 bad things?

Much like the good deeds question I don’t really keep tabs on the bad things that happen to me. So I don’t really notice patterns on bad luck or bad things that happen to me.