If you were to “recreate” the early days of your favourite sexy relationship, what would they look like? Would you change anything?
Both Mike from Marriage, Sex and More and Rebel from Rebel’s Notes commented to me that they found Question 8 challenging. I must admit that I felt the same way, but I was more challenged by this question. When I reflected about my potential answers, I realised that my favourite sexy relationship is often the most recent. I think it is human nature to want what you cannot have rather than appreciate what is easily available. And so, when a sexual partner becomes unavailable the amount of pleasure you remember having with them is increased.
This was definitely the case with Pet. For a long time after he departed from my life, I was always looking back at what we had and hoping to find someone equal to him. While we did some amazing stuff, and I had a very enjoyable time over quite a long period if I was honest there were times that were not perfect. Particularly towards the end of our time together I knew it was winding down and becoming routine. I remember thinking after one encounter that our relationship was reaching the end of its shelf life. Yet when he pulled the pin unexpectedly with no explanation it was suddenly the best sexy relationship ever had.
The same sort of thing happened with JB. I absolutely loved being part of his awakening and giving him the opportunity to experience things he had only fantasised about for so long. He was a very caring and generous lover. But again, after a time I knew my attention was going to wane and again he withdrew unexpectedly and suddenly, and I was left feeling like I had been deprived.
As time goes by and new people enter your life the old people who have departed fade into the background. The same applies with sexual relationships. The best sex is the sex you are having now with the person you are with. For me anyway. I know that there is bad sex and I have had plenty of that but somehow, I still feel that connection with the last lover as if they are the best. From a biological point of view, I can understand there is probably some body chemistry that makes you feel this way. It is nature’s way of tricking you into staying with your mate long enough to raise the offspring you are creating.
So, what does all this have to do with the question? Everything and nothing. I guess the short answer is that I don’t have an exact favourite or, rather, they are all favourites. Would I change any of them? Probably not. They have all been experiences and that is what this lifestyle is about for me.
a) your partner, b) your best friend, c) co-workers, d) strangers, e) parents
Mr Jones has views about certain political issues which he likes to air to anyone who will listen. The kids and I have heard his ideas enough to know that arguing or trying to change the subject is impossible. On the whole though I am not particularly concerned about politics enough to talk about it with anyone at great length.
2. Which is more offensive to you: book burning or flag burning? Why?
I had a conversation about flags once that made me think about our disregard for them. During the conversation he explained how wearing the flag in clothing such as swimwear (which happens a lot in Australia) is not patriotic but disrespectful to the flag and the country because you are in effect sitting on your country’s national symbol! His words and his passion made me think twice about flags so I am going with flag. Unless you are talking about truly rare and deserving books.
3 Complete the sentence. Most of all I want to meet someone who deserves my ______:
a)trust, b)loyalty, c) admiration, d) love
I think I have people that fit each of those in different ways in all parts of my life. Mostly at the moment I am looking for someone who deserves the right to worship my pussy.
4. Which kind of fidelity (being faithful) is more important to you?
a) physical / sexual, b) mental / emotional, c) neither is important, d) both are equally important.
For Mr Jones and myself fidelity is linked closely with honesty. There must be complete disclosure about all things at all times. There is no judgement about WHAT is disclosed. Judgement comes when the disclosure is not made. I can’t really fit this with any of the options but b) is the closest because of the disclosure.
5. Would you avoid all contact with an ex if your current significant other asked you to?
a) yes of course!, b) No. This would be an unacceptable demand. c) Only if their justification seems reasonable.
I have been married to Mr Jones for 21 years. Any exes have faded into the past. Generally any lovers that I have also have faded as lovers once the sexy times end. There are one or two exceptions but these people are no longer lovers just friends so I am not sure where they sit. However he has the power to veto any person I see sexually and I would comply because my marriage is the most important partnership in my life. So if he asked I would say yes.
Bonus: If you were to die, the person going through your belongings would be shocked to find.
Probably the contents of my laptop. Maybe. It is unlikely that either of my children would be brave enough to poke through that. Mr Jones has read most of it and seen most of the images. Any of my other relatives (parents etc) would definitely find the things I write about confronting.
This post is part of TMI Tuesday for this week. If you enjoyed my revelations feel free to click on the image below and see who else is confessing.