Thirty Dirty Questions- Q4

Question 4: What do you think about when you masturbate?

This is an interesting question. I don’t masturbate a lot. I grew up in a repressed Catholic environment. Sex was not discussed. Touching yourself was strongly discouraged. Anything to do with exploring your body was strongly discouraged. As an adult I have gotten past a lot of hurdles related to this up bringing but masturbating is not one of them.

I guess part of my aversion to it has been re-enforced by the pop culture stereotype of men masturbating because they could not have real sex. Somewhere in the twisted canals of my brain the idea that masturbating is the desperate furtive act of a person denied their sexual needs took root. My Catholic upbringing also attempted to entrench in me that women should not enjoy sex. This idea did not take root thankfully but I was very cautious about displaying my rejection of it. Because there is this idea in the world of popular culture that women shouldn’t appear to like sex but a good wife will provide it. So her man doesn’t have to masturbate???

OK so I had some twisted ideas that stayed with me until I was well into my thirties. I don’t even want to discuss the “blue pill” thinking that dominated my early marriage. I am past a lot of that now but I still don’t masturbate a lot. Privacy is a problem in our house. I have two adult children who don’t always understand the concept of privacy. Along with two elderly parents who also just trot on into our part of the house when it suits them. Getting time to myself when I know I won’t be interrupted to relax and do something like masturbating it is very infrequent.

As I get older and read more blogs, I am becoming more relaxed about it. But the time when I am most likely to masturbate is when I can’t sleep. This process is just a way to get my body to relax. I love the afterglow feeling which I also get with sex. The difference with sex is often I don’t get to lie quietly and enjoy it until I go to sleep. There is other people and other things happening.

What do I think about when I do masturbate? I don’t have a go to scenario or story. Sometimes I think about activities that I would like to try. Double penetration for example. I fantasise about being taken from behind while I am riding Mr Jones. Other times my fantasies are about domination. Or about being in control of my partner and making him fulfil my every wish with no guilt about not pleasing him. I have not taken a man’s arse for a long time but it does entice me. I love the thought of holding a beautiful arse in my palms as I penetrate him. I have the power. There are others but often they are fragmented and fleeting. They don’t stay in my mind long enough to take root.

Sometimes I think about a recent encounter with a lover. Images of their face or the sound of their pleasure trigger a response in me. I remember the feeling of their hands on me or their face pressed between my thighs. Replaying favourite moments of time together is enticing and can give me deep pleasure.

And with that I think I may need some alone time.

If you want to read answers to other questions you can use the links at my Thirty Dirty Questions page to find related posts.

Ben’s Mum

I started writing this for last week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt. But life is a bit on top of me right now. Rebel has kindly let me link it up this week.

There is always that one mother that everyone lusts after. The one who is just a little bit different from the others. In primary school my friend had one of those mums. We were children lust wasn’t part of our landscape. What we did notice was that the other mums looked different from Ben’s mum. Ben’s mum wore her hair out, sitting over her shoulder with one strand falling around her face. The top button of her blouse always seemed undone, and her skirts were shorter than the other mothers.

We didn’t think anything of these things. Other than to think Ben’s mum was pretty. The other mothers always looked at her sideways. She never seemed to be part of the groups of mums standing around their cars in the carpark waiting to pick up their children from school. We were kids, she seemed happy, it didn’t seem to be a problem. Ben and I grew up, we went to the same high school. Ben’s mum didn’t really change. Her dresses were still short, and her hair was still long. In high school no – one stood around the carpark chatting. Cars pulled in, kids got in or out, depending on the time of day, and they drove away. Life went on.

One day we were at Ben’s sitting on the couch with a boy who had just come to our school. We were sixteen, life consisted of school, X-box, eating, part-time jobs and hanging out with our mates. If we weren’t talking about gaming, we were talking about girls. We played League of Legends for a while, but it got boring. So we sat around talking about sex and girls. Goaded by our friends we played hot or not; listing girls at school who we thought were hot and laughing when someone listed as hot a girl we felt differently about. Then our new friend dropped a clanger,

“I think Ben’s mum is hot,”

The room went still. I looked at Ben, he had this weird look on his face. Like he didn’t know where to look or what to say. The other boys with us looked down and shuffled their feet. The new boy, Carl was defensive,

“Well she is.”

Sam broke the silence, “Dude that is not cool. You can’t talk about someone’s mum like that.”

Things were really awkward, and everyone went home as soon as they could. But later that night when I was in bed I thought about Ben’s mum and what Carl had said. Ben’s mum was hot. I knew that, I had known that for a long time. All of us knew that, including Ben. It was a rule between all of us to never talk about it.

In the darkness of my room I reached for my penis. It was firm in my hand. The familiar feeling of my penis in my hand, my hand moving the way I knew would pleasure me was reassuring. Even my fantasy was familiar.

Ben’s mum opened the door for me. She smiled that beautiful smile.

“Hello Josh,” she stepped back so I could come inside. “Ben is not here but I can get you a coke.” I follow her down the hallway watching her ass move under the thin fabric of her dress. In the kitchen she bends down to get a drink out of the fridge. The hem of her dress lifts until I get a glimpse of the pink panties she is wearing. I sit on the stool near the bench and she leans forward to pour me a drink. I can see that the bra she is wearing matches her panties. She smiles at me,

“Call me Katie,” She pours a drink for herself and sits next to me. As if it was the most normal thing in the world, she puts her hand on my thigh. I look at her, she smiles and slides her hand upwards,

“You are the cutest one of Ben’s friends,” she leans forward and our lips meet.

In my bed my hand is shuffling up and down under the blanket. I feel the familiar pressure building. My breathing is heavy punctuated by small grunts.

Katie takes me to her room, and I watch as she slips out of her dress, she unclasps her bra and lets it fall to the floor. Her breasts are amazing. She pulls me towards her, and my hands reach up and cup her breasts. She looks down at my pants and smiles at me. Before I can say anything, she unzips them and pulls out my penis. Her hand is warm as it strokes me.

I cannot hold back. Jizz spurts out of me and covers my hand. I lie there thinking about Ben’s mum for a few moments longer before I reach for a tissue to wipe my hand. Sleepiness is taking over and I drift off.

The next day I knock on Ben’s door. His mum answers,

“Hello Josh,” she smiles that smile. I feel the familiar twinge in my pants. “Ben has just gone to the shop to get some milk, he won’t be long. Did you want to come in and wait for him?”

“Sure Mrs Adams,” I look down. It feels weird being alone with Ben’s mum.

She leads the way to the family room. Her ass moves under her dress, the way it does in my fantasy. The twinge in my pants is a little stronger. I am desperate to find somewhere to sit, so I can hide my erection. She walks into the kitchen, of course she hasn’t noticed anything. I sit at the bench. The counter hides the bulge in my pants.

“Would you like a coke?” she asks.

“No thanks Mrs Adams.” I reply. I couldn’t stand to watch her bend into the fridge. It would be too weird.

She smiles a big smile at me, it doesn’t help. “You are so much more grown up these days Josh, you should call me Katie.”

Image by Agent John from Pixabay

To see who else is being wicked you can click on the image below

Alone

The door closes on the last human living with me. I am alone. For the first time in a very long time, I am alone in my house. It is early afternoon. I had planned to have a nap but now my mind wanders. My bed is comfortable but now I am not sleepy. I slip out of my shorts and knickers, discarding them on the floor. From my bedside table I take out my toy of choice. A glass dildo. It is heavy and cool in my hand as I consider the butt plug. I decide to leave that today.

Lying on the bed I scan for porn on my iPad. I find what I like, a site featuring men masturbating. Not standard porn but I am not a standard person. For a while I flick through different cams. I don’t know what I am looking for I just flick. Is this what men do, flick through channels because nothing grabs their attention immediately? Or it does and then the attention is lost a moment later?

My hand slides down between my legs. I massage my clit through the outer lips of my labia. This motion is comforting. I am reconnecting with myself. I stroke myself with the dildo. The smooth cool surface of the head teases my outer lips. Gradually it becomes moist with my juices. Juices that are starting to trickle.

I am a little nervous. I am worried about someone coming home but I make an effort to take my time. This is for me. The head of my dildo breaks through my outer lips. It eases its way around my vulva. Smooth glass, still cool strokes the sensitive skin around my clit. I slide a finger down and stroke myself a little as I dip the dildo into my cunt. Just a little way to moisten it. My fingers work over my clit and I begin to tease my opening with the smooth glass of the dildo.

Pressure builds, I slide the shaft all the way inside me pressing against my g-spot at the entrance. It is strange how everything feels so different when you touch yourself. I can feel the pressure of the orgasm building already. I know I could push myself over with one or two well placed strokes, but I want to wait and draw it out.

I slow the rhythm of my strokes. For a minute or so I distract myself with the action on the screen, watching the young man’s hand stroking his cock. I fantasise about sucking his cock for a moment. I slide the dildo in and out, feeling the pressure fade away but as I increase the pace again it is there. The pressure is stronger this time.

My fingers work quickly. I press the head of the dildo against the back wall of my vagina giving myself pleasure in other places. But it is my clit that is hungry. I can feel the orgasm sitting at the edge of my mind. My whole body is focussing on it. For a few moments it teeters before my body spasms in pleasure. A groan escapes from my lips as the second spasm takes me. I rest the dildo against my leg as I lie breathing heavily. My body hums with joy as hormones burn through my bloodstream. Like an addict I ride the high smiling with pleasure. Slowly sleep claims me.

Pink Heart Glass Dildo

This post is part of this week’s MMMMonday. Click on the image below to see who else is sharing.

TMI Tuesday

1. Would you help pay for your own engagement ring?

It has been so long since an engagement ring was such a big feature of my life. I think these days when I am a fully fledged adult who has realised that engagement rings and things like that are merely tokens I am not really bothered by the size or grandeur of a piece of jewelry. In all honesty I would rather put my hard earned cash towards something that is going to be an income generator, or at the very least be useful.

2. Were you ever afraid to masturbate?

Afraid is not quite the right word. Shy is probably better. Or uncomfortable about my partners seeing or finding me. In all honestly I have had a fairly negative view of masturbating burned into my self conscious. For most of my life I thought about it as a desperate measure only to be taken if all other measures have been explored.

It was something I did when I couldn’t get sex or if the sex I did get was unsatisfying. So it wasn’t something I really wanted to talk about or share I have never liked the idea of anyone seeing me masturbate or even knowing when and how I do. About ten years ago I wasn’t working or studying full time and I had a fair bit of time to myself in a house that was empty. It was an amazing time in my life. I entertained guests and lovers frequently and I masturbated occasionally. These days I never seem to get a moment to myself but I am becoming more relaxed about masturbating in general.

3. These days what gives you most comfort?

These days the thing that gives me the most comfort is my daughter’s cat. Of course like all cats he doesn’t necessarily recognize who we designate as his owner as HIS owner. He shares his love around. But since the time he was very young I have loved the moments when he “climbs aboard” and parks his furry ass on top of me. His purr is quite loud and that is one of the most comforting sounds in the universe to me.

4. What is distinct about you?

The cheating answer here would be my boobs or my ass. Because they are out there and I get complimented on them regularly. And yes I know I will get likes if I post a picture of them. What is not so obviously distinct about me is my honesty. In my real life people often comment on my upfrontedness. I have learned over the years to keep some of my more obnoxious thoughts to myself but stress has a very degrading impact on my mouth-brain filter and so at the end of the term I find words flying out of my mouth that should have been checked at their inception in my brain.

Sometimes I hear the words flying out and I cringe. Other times I find myself thinking “well if the shoe fits…”

Bonus: What in the past week has given you immense joy?

The thing that is giving me joy is the thought that it is Week 9 of a 10 week term. In two weeks I will be on holidays. Actually in two weeks it will be my birthday and Mr Jones has agreed that I can purchase myself a new camera for my birthday. It has been a long time since I had an actual camera. And this one is very hardy and hopefully not going to succumb to being dropped in the water or other places like a couple of my phones have.

Bonus Bonus: I can’t help myself…. Boobs

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. Click on the icon below to see who else is sharing

Fantasy

Locked in her house. Unable to leave. A prisoner of a virus. Something so small and so primitive that some scientists argued it wasn’t even a life form. It didn’t matter what the scientists said. She was here, he was there. All she had was the memory of the last time they were together.

Memories of him spreading her legs open so that he could bury his face in her cunt. He used his tongue to tease her swelling clit building the tension in her. She held back as much as she could. For a moment they wrestled wills. He could feel her clamping muscles, holding back her orgasm and the juice he craved. She relished the power of holding back the thing he most desired. But she also desired that release. For long moments they wrestled before he pushed and she gave in. Juice sprayed over his face and he drank it greedily. His hands cupped her ass pushing her close to his face so that he didn’t miss any.

Lying in bed with sheets twisted around her body she put her hand on her warm mound as she remembered his tongue there. Slowly she moved her fingers over her labia teasing herself.

He stood in front of her as she sat on the edge of the bed. His long hard cock was in front of her face. A drop of pre-cum glistened at the tip. Gripping himself he rubbed himself over her neck and down her breasts. She held her breasts together as he fucked her cleavage. The tip of his cock was so tempting. She wanted him in her mouth. 

In the darkness of her bedroom, isolated from the world her fingers strayed inside her slit to discover the wetness building there. She traced the familiar folds teasing herself, exploring deeper down to dip inside her opening. Her fingers knew all of the places she liked.

His cock filled her. She sat astride him looking down at his face, watching his expression.

It is your cock.” he insisted. “How does it feel inside you?”

She moved her hips slightly. Enjoying the feel of him moving inside her. He touched her deep inside. Somewhere her fingers could never reach. A shudder went though her body.

Tell me!” 

I am cumming,” she could hardly form words. His hands gripped her hips as she moved herself. Fluid squirted out of her covering his stomach and her thighs. Their bodies made wet noises as he thrust into her. She could feel his cock harden in response to her. It triggered another shudder, another jet of liquid. 

In the darkness of her bedroom her fingers worked in and about of her dripping wet cunt. But it wasn’t enough. She needed more. In the darkness she fumbled in the drawer of her bedside table. She found what she was looking for and slid the cold smoothness of her dildo inside her. Her fingers worked over her swelling clit. Her mind wandered.

She was bent over a chair. Her legs spread, waiting for him his hands stroked her ass.

“You have the most beautiful bum,” his voice broke the silence of the room.

She arched backwards to him, pressing her ass against his hips. His hard cock was hard and warm against her thighs and butt.

“Tell me how much you want it,” his voice was hot in her ear.

“Please,” she ached to feel him filling her.

“You want your cock?” He held the tip of his cock at her opening. Teasing her. She felt his hands grip her her hips tighter. She knew he wanted her as much as she wanted him. His cock slipped into her slowly. He held her tightly preventing her from pushing her against him. Slowly he filled her, stretching her open. She sighed in pleasure. When he was fully inside her he stopped. Holding her tightly.

“Tell me how much you want your cock,”

She couldn’t speak. He moved slightly. It triggered something inside her.

“I’m cumming,” she spoke through gritted teeth.

He responded, his cock hardened and he thrust into her. His hand slapped her ass. The room filled with her cries. Liquid jetted out of her cunt and splashed on the floor.

“I can’t stop cumming!”

In the darkness, alone the smooth glass shaft buried into her the fingers worked over her clit, drawing out the orgasm she craved. A short sharp cry penetrated the darkness. The glass shaft slid out of her and rested on her thigh. She lay quietly enjoying the afterglow. It took the edge off her ache, for a short while.

But it wasn’t enough.

This post is part of Wicked Wednesday prompt #412 Lockdown. If you enjoyed this then make sure you head to Wicked Wednesday and read some more delicious entries.

Panty Sniffing

One of the first things Pet did before we fucked for the first time was out his face against my mound and take a deep breath. We had talked about panties beforehand and I had a pair neatly packed away in a plastic zip lock bag for him to take away with him afterwards but I was entirely un-prepared for that first sniff. I really had not ever thought about or encountered first hand this kind of thing before. In the situation as it was I was nervous and a little unsettled. In effect we had both been waiting for this moment for two years and finally he was here in my kitchen, drinking coffee. 
Then he was on his knees, putting his face against my crotch smelling me. My upbringing, and a whole raft of other social cues made me self conscious of everything about my body including my own scent. In my mind my scent is an unpleasant thing and needs to be minimised. It wasn’t something that I had ever considered alluring. 
Pet felt very differently about it. That first sniff was a landmark in our relationship. It started off a whole dimension to our play and communication that was enticing, liberating and downright sexy for both of us. My eyes were opened to a whole new range of experiences, ideas and fantasies that I have shared since then with both Pet and other men. 
Recently I read an article about panty sniffing written by Girl on the Net about panty sniffing that clarified my thoughts and feelings about this topic. In the article she describes using the scent left on her panties as a tool of dominance. In the midst of fucking she shoves her panties into the face of her partner, forcing him to inhale her smell. This description immediately brought back memories of doing the same thing to Pet. Although at the time it was not a way for me to dominate him just something I did to completely smother him in sex as he fucked me. Thinking back now though I feel that it was more of a way of completely smothering him in me, my juice, my smell, my body and the sound of my voice. Very narcissistic and Sex Goddess – like really. 
  
Girl on the Net goes on in her article to describe watching a man masturbate with her panties. This description brought to mind another experience. A man I have been seeing occasionally was introduced to the delights of panty sniffing by some of the tales of my escapades and he very shyly and respectfully asked for a pair of my panties to take with him as a memento. This particular guy is a FIFO worker and so I obliged, thinking instantly of him spending nights in his room at camp with the pink cotton of me draped over his face and his hand around his cock. On his most recent stint at home he contacted me and asked for another pair. We had been unable to make the planets align for a proper fucking session and so we met for coffee at McDonalds. It was very sexy watching his face as I passed the little plastic bag containing white lace embroidered with flowers over the table.
He took it, a little worried that an onlooker would see what we were doing but then the temptation to open the packet and inhale the scent was almost too much for him. It took a great deal of restraint on his part to put them away in his bag unopened. Later, when the coffee was finished we stole a few moments in a car to fondle each other and for me to suck his cock. In a crowded car park it was ultimately unsatisfying and we were forced to part ways. As I fully expected he went home to enjoy my smell in the privacy of his bedroom. He sent me photos. Needless to say I am very much looking forward to his next visit home. 
All of this has changed the way I think about that part of my body. I am not longer as obsessive about keeping the aroma to a minimum. On top of that I have noticed myself sniffing my own smell almost whenever I can. More often than not I find myself bending down as I sit on the toilet for a surreptitious sniff. Before I know it I will be masturbating in the bathroom at work. But that will take me into a whole different realm of fantasy.