I have become an avid reader of Howie’s diary posts in Elliott’s blog. Like many people I am fascinated by the world of sex workers. In the mainstream world the way their work runs is largely unknown and I love the perspective Howie gives. In my travels into the world of alternative sex I came across a very rare thing. A man who had worked as an escort. It was exciting to get a glimpse into a profession that many people don’t realise exists. I thought that some of what he had to say would be great to share with you guys.
I met Roman through a dating website. While he is still quite virile and active in the adult dating scene he no longer works as an escort. Which, in my opinion, is a great loss for some women. Gain for me though. He agreed to share some of his ideas and experiences with me for my blog for which I am very grateful. The answers to my questions are as follows. I have tried to keep the words as close as possible to what he said but there may be some paraphrasing.
How long did you work as an escort?
How old were you while you were working?
46 – 49
Did you work for yourself?
I was a sole contractor. The laws in Queensland (Australia) do not allow sex workers to have drivers, security guards or operate in partnership with another sex worker. Laws regarding advertising are stringent and also include not allowing a sex worker to legally employ a web designer to create their website. There are different laws regarding brothels which employ women. There are also regulations about the number of hours a sex worker can operate etc. During the time I was working I believe that I was contacted several times by people who were testing me to make sure I was legitimate and following the required regulations.
How did you find clients?
Clients came to me. I was able to advertise on certain websites and also with Google words. It was very important for me to be quite clear with my advertising that I was only interested in female clientele.
What were the mechanics of the work; prices, meeting places etc?
The prospective client would email me through the website I used or text me. I had a separate phone that was used only for my work. I had some screening in place to make sure the client was genuine, and as mentioned above, female looking for a male. The prospective client would need to send through photos and go through a verification process ( I was never able to find out how this worked). We would chat for about a week or so before the client would decide if the arrangement was suitable. Often it would take time for them to clear their nerves and get used to the idea that they were paying for sex.
The pricing structure was as follows;
$800 – Sex. Meet at the client’s house or hotel that they had booked and paid for for three hours
$1500 – Date Experience. The client would pay the money in cash up front. Roman would organise everything for the evening; restaurant, hotel, transport. During the lead up to the date Roman would discover the type of food they liked, the type of music they liked and how they liked to dress. He would pick her up and take her to a restaurant the he had organised, buy her drinks, order food that they would share together and be very attentive. Because the age difference between them was not usually noticeable the women were able to feel like they were on a real date. Following the meal they would spend time in their hotel.
$3000 – Overnight boyfriend. This was similar to the Date Experience but involved his company for the entire night including breakfast the next morning.
The key to the success of the date was in getting the woman to relax. Keeping the conversation focussed on them and things they were interested in meant that the sex later would be memorable for them.
That is the reason for so much planning. I would keep notes based on the initial conversation and also after the first date. If the client returned then I would be able to refresh my memory so that I could keep that feeling of being focussed on her.
Did you have regular clients? If so what was the average time they stayed with you?
About 25% of my business was repeat customers. On average women would revisit after about four months. It would take them that long to get over the shame of using an escort. The pattern they would usually follow would be dinner date, dinner date, sex followed by overnight.
What types of women did you see?
Mostly professional women, teachers, nurses, real estate agents. They fell into two categories. One was single professionals who were tired of the dating scene. They wanted to have an arrangement where they didn’t have to think and put up with other people’s schedules. They could organise things to suit themselves.
The second category were women from broken relationships who had been treated badly. They often had no self esteem and no confidence in themselves. Sometimes I felt like I was a therapist who was building their confidence back up.
Did you have favourite clients?
Two stand out in my memory. The first was a woman who had a particular fantasy about a man who resembled me. Her friends arranged for me to visit her for her birthday. I was at her house for about twenty five minutes before she said she had enough and asked me to leave. I never saw her again and I believe that the whole thing was about revenge.
The second was a woman who was very attractive and successful. She liked to role play that they were a couple who were genuinely in love. She was able to relax enough with me that she could climax for the first time. During later dates I was able to make her squirt and she even experimented with anal.
Side note: Roman is NOT a small man in the cock department. This woman is braver than I ever was.
She also wanted to try water sports. I was very reluctant to do this and was worried that I would not be able to perform. It turns out that she also relaxed me enough that I could pee on her for a very long time.
Did you have any bad experiences?
I was very careful about meeting people. I would chat for long enough to know that it was going to work. During the vetting process the clients would have to explain why they were hiring and what their personal situation was. It helped me to be sure that things would work out.
What were some of the things you enjoyed about this job?
I enjoyed being able to make women feel attractive and as if they deserved to be treated well. I never thought any of my clients were unattractive. Certainly they were not movie stars. They had curves and squishy bits but many of them were mothers and had lived lives that involved building a family and a career. They had earned their bodies. Their husbands who had earned their fat guts by drinking beer and sitting on their arse did not have the right to tell these women they are fat.
It makes me happy to be a gentleman, to open doors and to do ‘old school’ things. Some of my clients did not like that but most of them did.
How did your work change the way you see men?
I was saddened by men who were not able to respect the women in their lives. I believe very strongly that women should be revered. Mothers have the highest status in my view. It makes me sad and angry that men use criticism and negative talk to keep a woman “in her place”
Did your feelings about your work change over time?
The stories about men mistreating women started to get to me. Ultimately that was the reason I stopped. As I said before I often felt like a therapist and it was draining.
The other thing that started to get to me was the way women would put me on a pedestal. I didn’t feel like I deserved that. I was doing my job, that they paid me for, and being a decent human being. I don’t feel that I am special.
I am very grateful to Roman for sharing his experiences. I hope that you guys enjoy it as well.