Next Level Sex Questions

These questions came courtesy of my friend Duncan at Your Sex Interview. He has a totally amazing mind you should read him.

1. CAN SEX BE GREAT IF IT’S JUST PHYSICAL, WITH NO RELATIONSHIP (THE OTHER PERSON IS EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE BUT RANDOM

Sex is different with a long term partner that it is with a random stranger. For me at least. Sex with a long term partner can be a minefield. You have, most likely, seen them at their least sexy such as throwing up after drinking too much or scratching their arse while wearing those pants with the hole in the knee that they refuse to throw away. So when you have sex with them you have to get past that. It takes more effort and commitment to get down and really dirty with someone you have lived with for twenty years. At the same time they know you and they can access the cheats and hacks to get you really going… If they want to.

With a hot random there is no baggage. There is just pure unbridled sex. If you can let go and be in that moment the sex can be next level. Although someone very smart told me recently that women find it hard to be in the moment sexually. I guess I am one of the lucky ones.

2. HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN EXTRA STRONG ORGASM AND LOST CONTROL (WAY MORE THAN USUALLY IF YOU LOSE CONTROL OFTEN)? HOW WERE YOU DIFFERENT DURING SUCH AN ORGASM

I posted recently about my evolution through orgasms. In this post I explained that if I have been playing for some time a clitoral orgasm can be the full stop to proceedings. These orgasms can a bit underwhelming especially if I have been holding them off for a while. Sometimes though they are the exact opposite. Sometimes they are so strong that I squirt litres of liquid and am left quivering and unable to be touched.

3. WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE AN AMAZING ORGASM YOURSELF OR GIVE/WATCH THE PERSON YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH AN AMAZING ORGASM (IF IT HAD TO BE ONE OR THE OTHER)?

Something that never fails to give me pleasure is listening to and watching guys cum. Especially if it is because of something I did to them. Like giving them head or fucking then. I have a few erotic memories that never fail to turn me on. One is a recording of a session with JB. His ex wife had never allowed him to cum in her mouth. So of course I was all about giving him that experience. I decided to record it to add to the experience. I listened to that recording on repeat for weeks.

Another much older memory is of a very gentle man I was fortunate enough to experience very early in my swinging journey. Unlike most men my age now he climaxed several times during the night we spent together. I still remember the noises he made third time he came. Afterwards he told me he didn’t think it was possible for him to climax that many times in a night but he couldn’t stop himself because I was so focussed on his pleasure.

So

Fucking

Sexy.

4. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN INAPPROPRIATELY PROPOSITIONED BY SOMEONE (SOMEONE WHO SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN PROPOSITIONING YOU)? DID YOU TURN THEM DOWN? DID YOU TELL ANYBODY? (IF MORE THAT ONCE, ANSWER WITH THE MOST SCANDALOUS OR INTERESTING

When I thought about answering this question I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to answer. I am down for most inappropriate situations for example; giving a man head in the change room at a large department store, fucking in a park while my husband watched behind a tree, fucking in a picnic area near a popular lakeside camping spot (the guy who was fishing nearby had a great show!). I could go on but you get the picture.

I have a fairly firm set or rules about WHO I will and won’t fuck. Mostly it is anyone I like unless you are cheating. I won’t go in to the why’s and wherefores of it. I am also not down with fucking anyone who is connected to my professional life. Nor am I down with fucking at school, even after hours, or doing a teacher – student role play. That is a line I won’t cross even in pretend. It is just too close to home for me.

Unfortunately I find myself saying no to cheaters frequently. I am getting fairly good at reading the signs and cutting off conversations early.

Also unfortunately something that happens when guys discover I am a teacher is that they get hung up on the idea of playing out a fantasy they had as horny teenage boys. I am 48, slightly overweight and not at all athletic. I am 100% certain NONE of the boys in my care go home after I have drilled maths into them and masturbate. I don’t care what you fantasised about your gym teacher at school. Sadly there have been a couple of men who have not let the idea of visiting me after school and getting down and dirty in a classroom go. They got nowhere very fast.

What I Know About Women

You might remember two recent posts about some questions posed by Duncan Lory at Your Sex Interview. For those who missed it you can read Part 1 here and part 2 here. I enjoy Duncan’s ramblings, his conversations with unusual women and his reminisces of past adventures. During the week he put up a post entitled “What Think I Know about Women” and challenged his readers to respond.

As with my responses to the Love and Loss questions I feel my responses may run over a couple of posts.

 

What Do you Know about the Clitoris?

Something that many people assume is that women know a lot about clitorises because they own one. I am here to tell you that is very inaccurate. I think that most women know where their clitoris is. Most women know how their clitoris works but I suspect that most women wouldn’t recognise their clitoris in a line up and they certainly don’t know how different every clitoris is.

It blows men’s minds when I tell them that, as a rule, I don’t let women near my clitoris. The reason for that is that women tend to go hammer and tongs and, unlike men, don’t take direction because they feel they know what they are doing. They may know what they are doing with their clitoris but that doesn’t mean they know what they are doing with my clitoris.

The anatomy of women’s genitals is very, very misunderstood by both men and women. Thanks to the enlightenment of feminists in the seventies we all know about the clitoris. Most of us can find it when we need to but do we know about all the other parts of our genitals. Women typically refer to their genitals as their vagina but the vagina is the passage from the uterus to the outside. When women talk about their vagina they really usually mean their vulva which includes the folds of skin and the clitoris.

When it comes to pleasuring a woman the whole vulva is sensitive and can be stimulated. Personally I prefer the outer labia to be simulated first. Sometimes I press these lips together, rubbing them back and forth over my clitoris. It is a special feeling, teasing with pressure but not direct stimulation. When I play with women I like to tease open her lips, watching them swell before opening them to reveal the special bud of the clitoris.

Duncan is correct. Clitorises come in many different shapes and sizes. Like penises they all have their own personality. They have their likes and dislikes. They all need to be treated differently but always with respect. It is always important to listen to their owner with your whole mind. Notice when she responds and when she pulls away. Women are complicated beings. They sometimes struggle to ask for what they want. Sometimes it is hard for us to explain. But if you are patient you will know.

What do you know about female orgasms?

I recently wrote an extensive post about my journey of discovery to my own orgasms. In a nutshell I haven’t always felt that orgasms were a big part of my sexual landscape and I felt a little broken by that.

Things have changed as I got older and more accepting of my body. I am grateful for that. Duncan commented that there are three types of orgasms as designed by scientists, clitoral, vaginal and g-spot. In some ways he may be right but as a woman I feel this is generalising.

Definitely the clitoris is a place where orgasms come from. And for most women it is the easiest and go-to place. But if you take the time there are so many other places. When Johnny is deep inside me he hits a spot. It causes a spasm and a jet of liquid. There are a few places like that inside me. JB made me climax from stimulating my cervix a couple of times. This orgasm was definitely different from a clitoral one. It was also different from the Johnny hitting the spot style. Are they both classified as vaginal? I don’t know.

My g-spot is located very close to the entrance of my vagina. A skilled tongue and a well placed finger and you are gonna get covered in ejaculate. Keep doing it and I am going to the place where I will climax from just watching you pleasure yourself. Interestingly I have experienced similar stimulation in that place from men with below average sized cocks. I guess there is some truth in the saying size doesn’t matter. Do I climax the same way every time my g-spot is stimulated? Mostly but once I am “switched on” there I can have similar orgasms from some very different and random stimulation, nipples, attention to my belly, sucking your cock etc. I guess we can out these ones in the g-spot box.

A friend once described orgasms from anal sex as whole body orgasms. Certainly I don’t climax from just having my butt penetrated. Usually there is some clitoral stimulation involved but the orgasms are different. They can be all consuming and rather than feeling like every muscle in your body is contracting they feel like a wave of heat passes through you. Sometimes when I am masturbating with my glass dildo I press against my anus through the wall of my vagina. It stimulates something in my anal area which is very very pleasurable. I think this is a whole different category.

Duncan comments that there are three parts to female orgasm, technique, anatomy and mindset. I agree with him on this one. You have to get all three right to get an orgasm. This means that for a women to climax she needs to be fully on board. She cannot blame her partner entirely for a less than satisfactory performance if she is thinking about what is for dinner while they are fucking.

Are there three categories? I don’t think so? Can all women have a variety of different orgasms? Absolutely. Will she have the spectrum of orgasms with one partner? Probably not. She may have a couple of different types but anatomy and personal preference will limit these. Will her life be complete if she DOESN’T get to experience the rainbow of orgasms? That is entirely up to her. I would say yes but maybe the ride won’t be as much fun as if she did.

My Journey Through Orgasms

I don’t remember how old I was when I started to masturbate. What I do remember is that my sexually repressive mother instilled in me an understanding that being sexual was not desirable and that talking about sex was forbidden. That included anything that led me to understand my own body. When I started menstruating at around 10 I didn’t actually know what was happening to me. But I digress. The purpose of this story is to record my journey through orgasms.

So somewhere, well before I started menstruating I learned to masturbate. Because of the environment I lived in I knew it was not spoken about and something I did it in private. Quietly. Secretly. For a long time I didn’t even really associate it with sexual pleasure. It was actually something I did to go to sleep at night.

As a teenager I lived in a boarding school. Being locked up with a bunch of teenage girls you would think would be very liberating sexually. In some ways it was. I was privy to conversations about sex with many different people from many different backgrounds. But in the end we were all teenagers, we didn’t actually know a lot of facts and we certainly didn’t have any adults around who were willing or able to help us.

So I graduated high school a classic Catholic school girl virgin. Horny, no real knowledge of how to interact with boys and no real understanding of sex. What I knew I had learned from magazines and science text books and whispered conversations that other more experienced girls had with their friends.

I lost my virginity to a man about five years my senior. These days he would be classified as a “toolie” because he hung around young school leavers but had actually left school several years earlier. He had a reasonably large dick which added ti his allure. It was a very unsatisfactory experience. He didn’t know I was a virgin, it was all over in a few minutes and I left feeling disappointed. Through him I met another man, again older but this relationship was much more educational from a sexual perspective.

I learned a little more about my own body during this relationship but the main takeaway was a discovery of, and pride in my ability to give head. I was a natural at this. I didn’t know this then but I know now my ability is mainly because I just love cocks. I love looking st them, I love the feel of them, I love exploring them with my mouth. I love the power of being able to make a man climax from my mouth, and yes. I swallow.

After this relationship and probably for the next ten or so years my sexual experiences were very one sided. My clitoris is sensitive. Most of the men I encountered had no fucking idea what to do with a vagina other than to stick their dick in it, so the vast majority of my orgasms came from my own hand. I liked penetrative sex but I didn’t climax from it, unless I fingered myself at the same time. I figured that was how sex was and for the most part I settled for that.

When we started swinging I came across a lot of people who wanted to lick me. I had no idea how to tell them what to do. I didn’t have the confidence to explore this with them I just knew it wasn’t good for me so I dealt with it the way I deal with a lot of stuff; I made it about them. I gave them good head, the men and the women. I fucked a lot and enjoyed myself immensely but usually I went home and had sex with Mr Jones so I could climax properly before I went to sleep. It was kind of a ritual between Mr Jones and I. Reclaiming the territory.

Somewhere along the journey I learned about squirting. I became aware of the spot at the entrance to my vagina that has been the source of immense pleasure ever since. I learned to relax, (insert Frankie Goes to Hollywood lyrics here). And the sweet juice flowed. At first it wasn’t much but over the years it has increased,

At this time I was still extremely cautious about mouths near my pussy. Women were almost never allowed (in my experience they are crap at licking pussy but that is another topic for another time). Select men were allowed for short bursts. Squirting was usually triggered when a guy slipped, or was pushed, out of me during sex. Or, and this is my personal favourite to this day, he pulled out and gently tapped my clit in the throes. OH MY GOD!!!! You want a sprinkler to erupt on your bed? Do that to me.

Then I met Pet. He was a dirty, dirty man and he loved me to squirt on his face. And I did, as often as I could. I feel sorry for the staff at the hotel we frequented. I missed that man when life happened and we parted company he opened my eyes to many things. One of which was the sheer pleasure of lying back and letting someone use their mouth on your lady bits.

Since then I have met a couple of men who genuinely love a woman sitting on their face and almost drowning them. There are a lot of men who SAY they like this but really there are few who actually do. Once they are horny it is about getting their dick wet.

When I climax that way it is frequent and if I get worked up enough it is uncontrollable. I literally cannot stop and have been known to climax from watching a man wank, from feeling his pleasure when I am sucking his cock and from having my nipples stimulated. But I need to be aroused enough first. I need the first teasing and licking I need to be built up and I need a connection with my partner.

It is hard for men to understand but all of that can go for hours and I can spasm countless times and ejaculate significant amounts of liquid. I believe it could be measured in litres but the science to back this up is pending. And yet I still need a large gut wrenching clitoral climax to be finished. If I don’t get that I will be a bit jittery and unsettled.

Something I did realise after a recent session with Johnny is that if the massive clitoral orgasm does happen during play I am very much like a man. I then want to cuddle, have a chat and go to sleep. If you do that to me you have three choices: 1. Cuddle, chat and go to sleep too, 2, cuddle, chat and then start again, from the beginning, 3. Immediately keep things happening and I will be good for a while but it will get a bit old in the not too distant future. Actually, if you pick option 2 you are also likely to get a short lived response as well.

The moral of the story; as tempting as it is to see me climax that way because it is fun to see a woman enjoy herself it is not a good idea to let it happen until you are ready for the closing credits yourself. Because after that my ultimate goal is to finish up and get some sleep.

I once had a friend who would describe her orgasms as many and varied. At the time I was still at the fingering while being penetrated stage of my journey. I was envious of her. I thought I would never be able to have that. Now I am a bit like her. It turns out that the secret to many varied and amazing orgasms is not the hand you are dealt. It is relaxing, and trying a whole bunch of different stuff.

TMI Tuesday – Sex Confessions

  
I couldn’t resist this week’s questions. So even though they are a little late I am sure you will enjoy. 

As always make sure that you check out the other TMI participants at the TMI Tuesday page. 

1. Have you ever devoted an entire day to sex and sexual activity (with breaks for eating, etc)? Was it planned or spontaneous? Any kinky fun?

In the days before full time work I had a couple of memorable occasions when I spent most of the time between when the children left for school and when I had to go and pick them up again with a playmate. These occasions were usually planned mostly because logistics required them to be. Looking back now they were amazing times when I felt more relaxed and in touch with my sexuality than at any other time. 

Mostly it was about fucking and exploring each other’s bodies but when Pet came on the scene I started with some kink. I made it a rule that he must undress before he entered the house, on one occasion I took off the underwear I was wearing and told him to put it on. Later, after we ‘took off the sexual edge’ so to speak, I had my first experience of anal fisting which was very surprising for me and incredibly pleasurable for him. 

2. Have you had sex simultaneously with two or more people in a private residence? Did you know them well or was it a setup casual encounter?

Ocassionally during my daytime romps Mr Jones would come home for lunch and join in the fun. He enjoys coming home and finding me being throughly fucked by someone, watching through a crack in the bedroom door and then sneaking in to join the activity. 

3. Have you gone out in public wearing an anal plug or vibrator device?

This is something I have thought about a lot. It is not something I have ever managed to engineer. The closest I have ever come is going to do the grocery shopping once with a pair of legal / orgasm balls inserted. It started out well but my muscles tired during the expedition and they ended up slipping a little. 

  
4. Have you ever practised or fantasised about orgasm denial / control. 

Again this is something I have thought about a lot. I have on occasions played with holding off an orgasm while masturbating but I wouldn’t call it control as such. I am very much into instant gratification and it does go against my nature. When I am with a partner I love the feeling of watching, participating in their orgasm so much that to deny them would be unthinkable. 

Maybe , one day, if I ever find a man who I would call my Dom he may decide to introduce me to orgasm control. 


5. Do you like being called dirty names during sex? What names get you off the best?

Talking during sex is not something I enjoy a lot. Mr Jones likes it and I have gotten used to a certain amount of it over the years but as a rule it is not something I enjoy. Usually we just share fantasies or ideas, but being called dirty names is not something I am really used to. I think if someone were to do it I would find it more off putting than arousing. 
Bonus: The confessional is open–confess anything you want (sexual or not)

Hmmm so many options, so little time to write them down. This is not an especially shocking confession but at the moment my number one fantasy is to meet a man who is physically larger than me and capable of manhandling me. By that I mean. Able to lift me off the ground and push me into whatever position he desires. It really turns me on to think about being the fuck toy of a strong powerful man that can take me and use me for his pleasure. 

Of course I am a little afraid that the reality of this fantasy would be too confronting to be pleasurable but it is still a very hot fantasy.