Am I Kinky?

The current 4 Thoughts or Fiction prompt is Kink vs Fetish. According to Scottish Lass at Sex and Spanx;

Kinks are defined as something sexually non-conventional whereas a fetish is the sexual gratification gained from an object, piece of clothing or a body part.

So to the question posed in the title. Am I kinky? According to the definition given the answer is yes. I am definitely living a non-conventional sexual lifestyle. Actively seeking sexual partners outside my primary relationship is definitely not a lot of people’s cup of tea.

I know many people would not even consider my lifestyle as moral or for them. But I also know that there are those who are very very curious, even if they are equally as hesitant. I also know that a proportion of the people who reject the non-monogamous lifestyle at first bite would possibly go back for a second look if they had further information or experiences.

In my opinion, for what it is worth, I don’t see swinging or seeing other partners outside the relationship as cheating or kinky. It is more along the lines of Free Love as described by The Hoodoogurus

The other side of the prompt is about fetish. I have read definitions of fetish that state that a person with a true fetish cannot gain sexual gratification without the object or body part being present. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that one cannot include genitals as a body part here. Because really that is kind of a key part of sexual gratification.

Using this definition I don’t have a fetish. I can achieve sexual gratification without a specific set of circumstances or a particular object being present. But are there items that I find very stimulating? The answer to that is yes. I have blogged about being very turned on by seeing a man wearing my underwear. I have been looking recently at the images posted by A Man Called Alice and even though he is not wearing MY underwear he looks as hot as hell. So I am thinking that my “fetish” is expanding; or at least is bigger than I thought.

When Pet and I were dating I had quite a large collection of underwear that rotated through my wardrobe. Several pairs ended up in his possession while a few others found their way to various men who contacted me. Over time I have not replenished and lost contact with men who were interested in that kind of thing. Consequently my underwear collection today is quite small. Part of me likes that. I have become a firm believer in having less stuff in my house and countless pairs of underwear that I don’t wear regularly seem to be superfluous.

And then I find myself looking at lingerie online and wishing I did have more lacy things…. It is a constant pull and push. Although I think I may need to invest in some new underwear. My current collection is sad and doesn’t warrant posting sexy pics which I enjoy doing.

Given that my birthday is tomorrow I think I may treat myself to some new knickers. That may or may not find their way onto another man’s bottom.

This post is part of 4Thought or Fiction Prompt #158 Kink vs Fetish. I have linked to some of the participating bloggers through this post but please use the image below to find your way to some excellent posts.

Panty Sniffing

One of the first things Pet did before we fucked for the first time was out his face against my mound and take a deep breath. We had talked about panties beforehand and I had a pair neatly packed away in a plastic zip lock bag for him to take away with him afterwards but I was entirely un-prepared for that first sniff. I really had not ever thought about or encountered first hand this kind of thing before. In the situation as it was I was nervous and a little unsettled. In effect we had both been waiting for this moment for two years and finally he was here in my kitchen, drinking coffee. 
Then he was on his knees, putting his face against my crotch smelling me. My upbringing, and a whole raft of other social cues made me self conscious of everything about my body including my own scent. In my mind my scent is an unpleasant thing and needs to be minimised. It wasn’t something that I had ever considered alluring. 
Pet felt very differently about it. That first sniff was a landmark in our relationship. It started off a whole dimension to our play and communication that was enticing, liberating and downright sexy for both of us. My eyes were opened to a whole new range of experiences, ideas and fantasies that I have shared since then with both Pet and other men. 
Recently I read an article about panty sniffing written by Girl on the Net about panty sniffing that clarified my thoughts and feelings about this topic. In the article she describes using the scent left on her panties as a tool of dominance. In the midst of fucking she shoves her panties into the face of her partner, forcing him to inhale her smell. This description immediately brought back memories of doing the same thing to Pet. Although at the time it was not a way for me to dominate him just something I did to completely smother him in sex as he fucked me. Thinking back now though I feel that it was more of a way of completely smothering him in me, my juice, my smell, my body and the sound of my voice. Very narcissistic and Sex Goddess – like really. 
  
Girl on the Net goes on in her article to describe watching a man masturbate with her panties. This description brought to mind another experience. A man I have been seeing occasionally was introduced to the delights of panty sniffing by some of the tales of my escapades and he very shyly and respectfully asked for a pair of my panties to take with him as a memento. This particular guy is a FIFO worker and so I obliged, thinking instantly of him spending nights in his room at camp with the pink cotton of me draped over his face and his hand around his cock. On his most recent stint at home he contacted me and asked for another pair. We had been unable to make the planets align for a proper fucking session and so we met for coffee at McDonalds. It was very sexy watching his face as I passed the little plastic bag containing white lace embroidered with flowers over the table.
He took it, a little worried that an onlooker would see what we were doing but then the temptation to open the packet and inhale the scent was almost too much for him. It took a great deal of restraint on his part to put them away in his bag unopened. Later, when the coffee was finished we stole a few moments in a car to fondle each other and for me to suck his cock. In a crowded car park it was ultimately unsatisfying and we were forced to part ways. As I fully expected he went home to enjoy my smell in the privacy of his bedroom. He sent me photos. Needless to say I am very much looking forward to his next visit home. 
All of this has changed the way I think about that part of my body. I am not longer as obsessive about keeping the aroma to a minimum. On top of that I have noticed myself sniffing my own smell almost whenever I can. More often than not I find myself bending down as I sit on the toilet for a surreptitious sniff. Before I know it I will be masturbating in the bathroom at work. But that will take me into a whole different realm of fantasy.