Kinks are defined as something sexually non-conventional whereas a fetish is the sexual gratification gained from an object, piece of clothing or a body part.
So to the question posed in the title. Am I kinky? According to the definition given the answer is yes. I am definitely living a non-conventional sexual lifestyle. Actively seeking sexual partners outside my primary relationship is definitely not a lot of people’s cup of tea.
I know many people would not even consider my lifestyle as moral or for them. But I also know that there are those who are very very curious, even if they are equally as hesitant. I also know that a proportion of the people who reject the non-monogamous lifestyle at first bite would possibly go back for a second look if they had further information or experiences.
In my opinion, for what it is worth, I don’t see swinging or seeing other partners outside the relationship as cheating or kinky. It is more along the lines of Free Love as described by The Hoodoogurus
The other side of the prompt is about fetish. I have read definitions of fetish that state that a person with a true fetish cannot gain sexual gratification without the object or body part being present. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that one cannot include genitals as a body part here. Because really that is kind of a key part of sexual gratification.
Using this definition I don’t have a fetish. I can achieve sexual gratification without a specific set of circumstances or a particular object being present. But are there items that I find very stimulating? The answer to that is yes. I have blogged about being very turned on by seeing a man wearing my underwear. I have been looking recently at the images posted by A Man Called Alice and even though he is not wearing MY underwear he looks as hot as hell. So I am thinking that my “fetish” is expanding; or at least is bigger than I thought.
When Pet and I were dating I had quite a large collection of underwear that rotated through my wardrobe. Several pairs ended up in his possession while a few others found their way to various men who contacted me. Over time I have not replenished and lost contact with men who were interested in that kind of thing. Consequently my underwear collection today is quite small. Part of me likes that. I have become a firm believer in having less stuff in my house and countless pairs of underwear that I don’t wear regularly seem to be superfluous.
And then I find myself looking at lingerie online and wishing I did have more lacy things…. It is a constant pull and push. Although I think I may need to invest in some new underwear. My current collection is sad and doesn’t warrant posting sexy pics which I enjoy doing.
Given that my birthday is tomorrow I think I may treat myself to some new knickers. That may or may not find their way onto another man’s bottom.
This post is part of 4Thought or Fiction Prompt #158 Kink vs Fetish. I have linked to some of the participating bloggers through this post but please use the image below to find your way to some excellent posts.