Today was an emotional day for me. My daughter completed her last day of classes for high school. For the next four weeks she will be completing final exams and then my youngest child will have graduated from high school. During that time she will also celebrate her 18th birthday. I will no longer be the mother of children. My children will be adults.
My child is unique. Like her mother I guess. I have sought to be a parent unlike my own. In our house there are no mysteries about sex or nudity. There are no questions unanswered or brushed off. More importantly my children were never made to feel as if they could not be whatever they wanted. Their creativity was never discouraged. Choices of clothing and hobbies were never criticised or ridiculed. The result has been strong independent people who own their life choices and are not worried what other people think.
For the last three years I have been fortunate that my daughter has attended the school where I teach. It has been a unique experience. As a teacher it has given me insights into how teenagers perceive teachers and education in general. As a parent I have had a much more intimate look into the life of my child at school. During this time we have been like very close friends. We share many of the same opinions, interests and ideas.
When she was younger we shielded our children from our lifestyle. Now as they are adults they know enough. It isn’t discussed openly but certain things are tacitly accepted and acknowledged. There is no judgement. Only an understanding that privacy is important and respect for choices is paramount. Life is not about following the rules but about making sure you treat people with respect and kindness.
Dating for her has always been different. Several years ago she identified openly as Pansexual. More recently she has made the decision to avoid males altogether until she meets one who is grown up enough to be worthy of her.
God help that male…
Monogamy in her mind, like her mother, is an outdated concept that is not helpful for many people. And so it seems that she is destined for a lifetime of unconventional relationships. Or maybe she will wake up one day, meet a man who cuts through the crap and suddenly she will fall for the white picket fence dream.
Her grandmother can live in hope. I am not going to hold my breath. Or, more accurately, I am not going to concern myself with things that are not my business.
On her last day of classes she wore her wool dreadlock extensions. A novelty, as for the first time in her life her hair is very long. In the afternoon she and her friend had the last session with their Dungeons and Dragons club. Something they created and nurtured over their senior year. For the occasion they dressed up which is always fun.
When all of the festivities were over I had a moment of watching the majesty of my child frolicking across the car park with her blonde extensions flying free and her witch cape flapping around her legs. It hit me squarely between the eyes what I had created. The emotion of the day brought tears to my eyes as I realised I have made something truly magical.