Thirty Dirty Questions: No 2

Welcome back to another edition of Thirty Dirty Questions as first posted on the blog of Brigit Delaney. You can find the first edition here. The second question is:

How do you feel about PDA, including kink / sex in public?

“Leave room for Jesus” the chant of a Catholic School teacher on playground duty shooing couples away from corners and hiding places where they go to get some privacy and alone time on a campus teeming with 1000 students and another 150 or so staff. As a teacher it is often obvious who is dating who, mostly. Sometimes it is just an everyday thing. They sit together at lunch deep in conversation maybe holding hands or stealing little touches of each other’s thigh and arm. Those couples are cute, they make you smile and even though you pull them gently apart and they are suitably embarrassed you sometimes wish the world weren’t so judgemental and you could let them be.

Then there are the ones that make your skin crawl. Everything about them as people seems just a little bit wrong. The girls who constantly fiddle with their hair in class and are not quite attractive but still use their sex to manipulate people. The boys who are covered in acne, spend too much time indoors and are never quite clean always seem to attract girls for reasons that mystify sane people. They touch each other constantly and you know that outside of school, and at school if they can, they would be having sex, furtively in a desperate way in strange places like cars and alleys.

Hot alley bang

Those couples should be separated by an iron bar, the kind that kinksters use to spread a submissive’s legs. Actually, that would be kind of amusing. Two teenagers desperate to fondle each other held apart by a rigid implement. Close enough to smell each other but too far away to touch. Yes, teachers do have sadistic thoughts about some students.

In the real-world things are slightly different. PDA is more accepted, sometimes. I guess we assume that adults have a better sense of what is appropriate for their surroundings. Sometimes we are right, sometimes we are not. For me personally PDA in fully public settings should mostly be about holding hands and kissing. Maybe, sometimes, putting your hand in the waistband of your partner’s pants. I remember once a fellow primary school mum telling me that she admired the way my husband and I embraced and kissed openly in the school carpark as we parted ways for the day. She thought our obvious affection for each other showed that our marriage was strong and natural.

She had no idea that I would kiss a man who was NOT my husband in the same way, if I didn’t think someone who knew me would see. There is something alluring about being sexy in public. Kissing, fondling, wearing no underwear. The thrill of doing something illicit adds to the excitement. But like, everything in this world there are times and places where this kind of thing is more OK than others.

I have had sex in the changeroom of a department store. More than once. The first time was hot and branded into the memory of both me and my partner of the day. Both of us went there again with other partners. For both of us it was not as good the second time. Sometimes spontaneity can mask thoughts of what is not right about a situation and allow us to truly enjoy something. When I think back over times when I did do sexy stuff in public I have mixed feelings. Sometimes I shudder with shame and I wonder if I am any better than the spotty teenage couple that make my skin crawl.

Sometimes I feel the heat of excitement and think it is the sexiest fucking thing. The trick is not to get into your head about it too much.