TMI Tuesday – Love and Robots

1. Should we be worried about sex robots?
https://www.sciencefocus.com/future-technology/should-we-be-worried-about-sex-robots-kate-devlin/

Recently I had a conversation in the lunch room at work about sex dolls. It always amuses me how vanilla-ish people think about sexual topics. A woman who I thought was a little un-vanilla seemed completely rattled by an up close and personal encounter she had at a sex shop with some realistic looking sex dolls.

In terms of actual fully functioning robots. I think there is a way to go before we are overrun by sex robots. Although I think it says a lot that we put so much time, effort and money into developing this technology and there are still many people in the world who don’t have the ability to feed and clothe their family properly.

2. A humanoid (a life-like robot) that looks like your biggest crush, and acts exactly the way you hoped your crush would act has been created. This humanoid initiates sex, with you. Would you have sex with the humanoid?

Interesting question. I am not entirely sure how I would react to that. It has been a long time since I had a serious crush that I couldn’t act on. Most of the people I have an interest in that are not accessible are people I work with. If I had a chance to fuck a robot that looked and acted like them it would be extremely weird to then have to interact with them at work the next day!

3. What’s your typical sleep attire?

Naked.

I recently spent a long weekend with some vanilla girlfriends in a unit at the Gold Coast. They are quite prudish and I was sharing a room with one of them. Naked sleeping was not on the agenda, at all. It made an already uncomfortable bed more uncomfortable. I was very glad to get home and sleep naked in my own very comfy bed!

4. What is the most cringe-worthy thing you have experienced in the bedroom?

In a bedroom? Pet sleeping areas. Yes my cat sleeps on my bed sometimes but not all the time and hey he is a cat. He knows it is time to find somewhere else to go when things get intimate. But having your dog bed or worse their crate in your bedroom routinely that is just wrong. It shouts, “I don’t have sex EVER!”

When having sex? Well once I met a guy to suss out his “Potential” he invited me back to his house and he had a cat roaming around that was on heat. The whole situation was weird.

5. Are you satisfied with the amount of after-sex affection (e.g., spooning, cuddling, intimate conversation) you receive? yes or no . If no, how could it be better?

That is something Mr Jones is awesome at. I am happy about that. It is always a bit disappointing when meeting FWB to play and they have to leave after some fairly intense sex. Of course the situation does not demand after sex affection. It is not a relationship and engaging in too much snuggling could result in things heading down the relationship path and that is definitely not where I want to be.

Bonus: What is your most useless skill?

I am actually pretty good at taking selfies of my butt!! Something a lot of people appreciate but something that is never going to make me famous or rich.

This post is part of TMI Tuesday for June 30. To see who else is sharing click the button below to head on over to the TMI blog!

How Can I Get My Wife To….

I saw a post on Twitter recently from a man who is interested in the nudist lifestyle asking how he can convince his wife to join him at a nudist event. I have heard this question asked in the same way but exchanging the concept of nudism and swinging.

“How can I convince my wife to try swinging? I know she would enjoy it if she would just give it a go.”

I have no answer for this. The nurturing part of me wants to be all encouraging and supportive and talk about encouraging her to try slightly different things. But the response to the above tweet resounded very strongly with me. In essence the respondent said “It is her choice. She is the only one who can decide what she wants.”

When it comes to trying swinging I would say the same thing. It is her choice. If she doesn’t want to do something, who are you to pressure her into something she doesn’t want to do? I find it hard to understand why people get so fixated on convincing their partner to try something they are fundamentally opposed to. Or something they have made very clear they are not comfortable with.

The cynic in me looks at this situation and sees a very selfish person. I see a person who has a fantasy and has decided they can’t live without it despite what their partner wants. They have convinced themselves that they are right and that their wife will enjoy it if she just gives it a try. It seems that these men are not really thinking with their “big brain” but rather with their penis that wants to experience swinging. I would not speculate on their reasons for wanting to explore this fantasy but the cynic in me feels that his reasons are not about seeing his wife have a great time at the hands of multiple other men but rather about his own pleasure.

I have been in the lifestyle for long enough to know that every relationship is different and every situation has nuances that cannot be seen from observation of a few tweets or even in depth conversations. There are at least three sides to every story. One for each of the parties involved and then the actual events. I have also been in the lifestyle long enough that only those with rock solid relationships that are built on solid communication and mutual respect have a good, long lived experience.

My experience tells me that if these men were able to convince their wife to “give it a go” it is unlikely that things will turn out they way they expect. Their wife may very well enjoy the experience but what if they don’t? What if she enjoys it so much that she is completely hooked and will never go back to monogamy but you wish that you had never opened Pandora’s box? Or worse, what if she realises that she has been missing out all this time and then you become like many men in the swing scene, sitting in the corner at the beck and call of the women in the room?

There is a saying, “You should be careful what you wish for. You might end up getting your wish.”

I think that should be the standard response to this question. Wishing for something your partner is not interested in is counter productive. When you find yourself in this situation you really have two choices;

1. Accept her decision, respect it and get on with your life and your marriage.

2. Accept her decision and continue to pursue your fantasy, either by ending the relationship or behind her back. Either way your relationship is doomed. Even if you do wear her down and she agrees it is unlikely to end well. If you cheat she will find out and things will not end well. Ultimately you have to accept and respect her decision.

Howard’s Downfall – Part 3

This is a continuation of Howard’s Story. You can read Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.

Howard’s eyes opened slowly. The smell of coffee wafted from the kitchen accompanied by the sounds of Lily preparing coffee. A smile played around Howard’s mouth as he anticipated the first coffee of the morning. This was something he missed when he was in camp, proper freshly brewed coffee delivered with a beautiful smile. He moved to sit up in bed, ready to greet his girl. The movement brought a twinge in his arse the events of the night before filled his mind. His happy anticipation of morning coffee was replaced by gut wrenching fear.

“Good morning baby,” Lily’s voice interrupted his thoughts.

Howard looked up at her, she looked as beautiful as she always had, perfectly dressed in a smart business suit. Her beautifully shaped breasts nestled underneath a soft flowing shirt. She handed his cup to him. Usually she would sit on the edge of the bed and they would share the first cup of the day. It was a ritual they enjoyed every day he was home from camp.

This morning she did not sit, ” I have to go,” she looked apologetic. “The partners have called a breakfast meeting and they want me there to take the minutes.” She leaned down and he was rewarded with a glimpse of creamy skin covered with pale pink lace. He reached up and closed her button,

“The partners don’t need to see that with their breakfast.” He smiled up at her. ” they won’t be able to concentrate on all their important lawyer business,”

She flashed her beautiful white teeth at him. A memory of that mouth against Jenna’s flashed into his mind. As she leaned in to kiss him he fancied he could still taste the other woman on her lips.

And then she was gone. Leaving Howard alone with his coffee and his confusion. His thoughts wandered to his tender arsehole. With that came the memory of what had happened. Back in the day he had fantasised about being penetrated by a woman while his cock was deep in another. But somehow it had never happened.

Then, last night he had felt it. While he was deep inside Lily he had felt Jenna’s hand in his ass. At first he was unsure how he felt. Her finger slid downwards over his ass cheek honing in on his butt hole. The feeling of being penetrated by someone else was something he couldn’t explain. He thought he had moved past it but in that moment he realised he hadn’t. The pleasure of her finger inside him drove him to fuck Lily harder.

He remembered Lily moving focus from his face to Jenna’s. The two women didn’t speak but Howard sensed something passing between them. He didn’t dare look over his shoulder at Jenna, he was terrified of what he would see there. He thought he saw Lily give the tiniest of nods. Her eyes took in a look of determination he had never seen before. And then he felt the cool smooth plastic of Jenna’s strap on.

He desperately wanted to look over his shoulder. How big was her implement? Now he really was afraid. Back when he and Jenna had regular hook ups she had put all manner of things in his arse. Once she even fisted him. But that was several years ago. Aside from the lid of the Coke bottle in camp that night nothing had entered his arse. He was sure he couldn’t take anything of size comfortably. Then the devil inside took over, he didn’t care, he wanted it all.

He didn’t have to wait long, the head of her dong pressed against his arse. Instinctively he resisted. His sphincter closed tightly. He stopped moving inside Lily. Her eyes widened a little and her fingers gripped his shoulder,

“Go with it babe,” her voice had a note of excitement, like a small child about to unwrap a present at Christmas. Howard felt like a token in a game he didn’t understand. These two women were passing him around at their leisure. Pushing his boundaries for their own pleasure.

The dong pushed into his arse, opening him slowly. Tension and resistance gave way to deep pleasure. The pull of pain-pleasure came back to him as did the memory of how good it felt to have the pressure of a full arse. Underneath Lily smiled,

“See it feels good,” she writhed a little, “I can fell how hard she has made you,”

It was at that point Howard gave in. His cock was hard and the pleasure was intense but the feeling of being a pawn in a much bigger game would not leave him. Later when he climaxed harder than he had in years he lay on the bed in Lily’s arms. Her face was a picture of bliss. She had the classic look of a woman who has been well fucked. Something he realised he had never seen before.

Jenna moved around the room collecting clothing and implements before kneeling beside Lily to kiss her on the lips. Howard watched, mesmerised as the two women embraced. Clearly they had not just met. Jenna stood up, bag in hand dressed in regular street clothes, her hair was smoothed and her face was clean, there was no sign that less than thirty minutes ago she had buried her strapon deep inside his arse while he fucked Lily.

“Thanks for inviting me along tonight. It has been great,” her tone was casual. As if this night was just a regular thing for her rather than the earth shattering, life changing event it was for Howard.

Lily smiled like a cat with a bowl of cream, “I am glad you enjoyed it. Message me.”

The expression on Jenna’s face was unreadable, “Definitely. I love you gurl .”

And then she was gone.

The remainder of the evening gave no more answers. Both Howard and Lily packed their things and left the hotel. Lily didn’t speak, or kiss him goodbye as she got into her car and left him to make his way back to his bike. Some how she gave him the slip and he never managed to catch up to her.

When he realised he wasn’t able to find her he gave up and took the long way home, enjoying the feel of the night air on his body. Riding motorbikes often helped to clear his head. Tonight it did make him feel better but he still had a million questions. Questions he didn’t know how to ask. Questions with answers that he was almost certain he wasn’t going to like.

This post is part of this Week’s Wicked Wednesday. Click on the button below to see who else is being wicked.

TMI Tuesday – Now We See it

1. What’s invisible but you wish you could see?

Sometimes when I am meeting people or interacting with people I don’t know very well I wish I could see what they are really thinking underneath all the politeness. I wish I could see their true intent and what they really think.

2. Would you rather watch your neighbor(s) having sex while you are in the same room or anonymously watch your parents having sex?

This is a hard one. When I was a young teenager I was unfortunate enough to be present in the room while my parents were having sex. For some reason they thought it was a good idea to have sex while sharing a room with their teenage daughter. Even if they mistakenly thought I was asleep. It was not a pleasant experience.

Currently my neighbours consist of an octogenarian and his wife and someone who I have no desire to see naked. It is a conundrum as neither seems worse than the other. But seeing as I have already experienced one I think I pass the test.

3. For what are you nostalgic?

I am very much a forward looking person. There is also much in my past that I would rather not live through again. but I think I am a little bit nostalgic for my mid thirties. I was much slimmer, a lot fitter and I was in the thick of things. It was also a time in my life when I was essentially a stay at home parent but my children were at school so I had a lot of time to myself.

4. What is an unwritten rule where you work?

It is an unwritten rule that students are not allowed in the staff room. It is one of those barriers that both staff and students are painfully conscious of but one one that I am ever aware of being written. A student in the staff room does happen from time to time. Sometimes they come in to get things or other extraordinary errands. When it does happen the students are visibly weirded out by it. Often the staff can take it in their stride as long as they are aware of the circumstances. Sometimes the student wanders in without thinking about the barrier and this results in shock and panic on the part of the staff. Students should not be in the staff room.

STUDENTS trying to enter the staff room You shall not pass - You ...

5. What is an unwritten rule or mutual understanding in your home?

Always say goodbye. Properly with a hug and a kiss and a genuine good wish for the other person.

Years ago I heard a sermon from a priest about a man who had applied for a ticket to emigrate from Ireland to the United States. This was in the time before international flight and the internet. The man was leaving his family and would likely not see them or speak to many of them again. The man had a standby ticket or was “On Notice” meaning he could be called at any time to board a ship and leave his home and family. He took this quite literally and went everywhere with his life packed in a suitcase. Every time he left home for any reason he said goodbye to his family as if it was the last time he would see them. He never actually got to emigrate as he was killed in an accident. His family were of course grieved but his wife expressed her gratefulness for his practice of farewell each day because of being “On Notice”.

The moral of the story. Never part company with someone you love without telling them how you feel. It has been something I incorporate into my relationship and I believe it has made it much stronger.

6. Which body part do you wish you could detach and why?

My feet. I have Plantar Faciitis which is caused by my profession that requires me to stand up for most of the day. Since being diagnosed I have learned how to manage the condition. This involves some very expensive inserts to shoes and careful selection of footwear. It also involves stretching. The pain for the most part is gone but I can always tell when I have become slack with my stretches or when I have not been wearing my inserts.

Additionally heels have become a very much sometimes item. Which does make me a little sad

Bonus: What is the weirdest thing you have seen in someone else’s home?

Honestly you would think in years of being a swinger I would see some weird things but none spring to mind. I remember a few things as a child that I found weird. My grandmother sometimes took me to visit her friend when I was about 7 or 8 because she had a swimming pool. Once I was inside the lady’s house and I noticed in the centre of her telephone dialler (it was the 70’s) was an image of a nipple. It took me a while to work out what it was but I still remember it clearly. I am pretty sure my grandmother didn’t realise but her friends were definitely not your regular suburban couple.

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. To see who else is sharing head on over and check it out

What do I Know About Women – Part 2

This series is based on a post at Your Sex Interview. I posted Part One here.

What do you know about timing?

Timing is everything. In Duncan’s post he speaks about women being attracted to different types of men at different times of her cycle. I am not sure about that but I know that at different times of her cycle she is unconsciously more attractive to men.

I know my interest in certain men and certain activities can be fleeting. I can be all horny and wanting a certain man to do certain things one day but if he does not talk advantage of the opportunity when it is on offer I can lose interest pretty quickly.

What do you know about three-ways?

A bunch!!!!!!!!

Apparently, they are more common in Australia. I am Australian, I see them happening a bit, but my perspective of non-monogamous sex is a little skewed because of my lifestyle.

My first threesome was a FFM. Back then I was more into girls than I am now. It was very surreal. Mr Jones and I were at a swingers club that we frequent and we met a woman. She told us about her day of treating herself to a massage, some beauty treatments and a nice meal. She was here for some sex, which we had, then she left. The threesome was very nice and she was very nice. Mr Jones still talks about it.

My first MMF involved a double vaginal penetration. There is a story about it on my old blog. It was a life changing moment and one that I haven’t really repeated, yet.

Since then we have threesomes with both men and women but mostly with women. Mostly because it is easier to find men. And because I like cock.

Do I have a preference? I would say I prefer MMF but writing this has made me wonder….

What do you know about women and cheating?

Women cheat. I don’t know if they cheat as often as men. It kind of depends on your definition of cheating. The standard definition of cheating is penis in vagina without the other partner(s) knowledge. But there are so many other things that don’t go quite that far. Is a head job cheating? Is kissing cheating? Is talking dirty via messenger app with someone you met on the internet cheating? Is flirting with the guy who comes in to your work regularly cheating?

I would answer yes to most of those questions, most of the time. My definition of cheating is anything you would not feel comfortable doing while your partner is in the room. So if you wouldn’t do those things in front of your partner you are cheating.

Mr Jones and I have very strict honesty and disclosure rules. They can be quite confronting sometimes but I believe firmly it is the only reason that we are where we are at in our relationship. Without it I would not have the freedom I enjoy and I would not be as happy as I am now.

It is a generalisation but I feel that sometimes women cheat for slightly different reasons than men. I think men mostly cheat because they don’t get sexual fulfillment in their relationships. Women cheat because they don’t feel validated in their relationships. Being with a man who tells them they are attractive and who pays attention to them is important and often a lack of that attention and validation is what drives a woman out of her relationship. Even if it is only to flirt with the delivery guy at work.

This post is part of this week’s Wicked Wednesday prompt #418 Truth . I am glad to get the chance to be part of this meme again after a couple of weeks of craziness and not being able to participate. Please make sure you check out the other excellent entries.

http://wickedwednesday.rebelsnotes.com/

The Holy Grail of Squirting

A few weeks ago after the Unexpected Ending there was some discussion about the amount of ejaculate I had sprayed everywhere during the session. According to Johnny it was “Ridiculous”. Without giving too much away, Johnny is experienced. Like myself his “number” is high but also like me he hasn’t really kept track of it so it is blurry with some standout performances and then some not so much. I am definitely taking it as a compliment when he says I am “Ridiculous” because I know it means he is impressed.

After surveying the damage and expressing how impressed he was Mr Jones did a little experiment. He weighed the bedding before he washed it and then after it was dry again. Not the most precise scientific procedure but he reported a 600g difference! Most articles I have read describe a smallish amount with one scientific article reporting between 0.3mL and >150mL. A far cry from my approximately 600mL. This was not counting the liquid that went all over Johnny, and what he drank.

I am a scientist. I teach high school students about examining scientific claims for validity and correct scientific approaches. The article mentioned did not scientifically determine the volumes it measured but gathered data through a questionnaire. To me asking someone to report on how much liquid they ejaculate without any standard method is highly questionable. So I don’t place much stock in this data.

Female ejaculation is a mystery. There is much debate about it’s source and composition. A second article I read examined the source of liquid and did some analysis. The results of this study are interesting. It found that the source of the liquid is the bladder. How it got to the bladder is unknown. The women studied began “stimulation” with an empty bladder but 25 minutes in just before they ejaculated an ultrasound confirmed that their bladder was indeed full. As an aside I really can’t imagine being at the point of ejaculating and then stopping for a doctor to take an ultrasound!!!!! The things we do for science.

My own experience confirms this. I make sure I pee before playing. In the space of a 30 – 90 minute session I estimate I can ejaculate between 600mL and a litre. For me the sensation before I am about the squirt is similar to needing to pee. In fact when I was developing this ridiculous ability one of the things I had to overcome was shyness about peeing in front of people. If I have sex and I don’t squirt much I often really need to pee afterwards and the amount I pee can be a lot.

The New Scientist article described the composition of ejaculate as chemically similar to very dilute urine but also including prostate specific antigen. Which is is produced the prostate gland in men and, they hypothesise, by the Skene glands in women.

skene glands

Again my own observations about this confirm. When I squirt it doesn’t smell like pee and Johnny and other partners report a taste they love. But if I don’t wash the sheets straight away and they fester / dry for a while they definitely smell like pee.

A small amount of Googling has revealed there are a lot of speculations out there and a lot of “How To” guides that promise amazing success. Deeper delving reveal a lot of scientific articles which I haven’t had time to read in depth at this point. Like most things sexual there is a lot of mystery out there and a huge amount of the usual prudishness. I am intrigued. I want to collect data and I want to share it with you all but I just don’t know how to go about it, yet. Ideas are fermenting (I have been educating on this topic this term!) but they are not complete yet. All I can say is watch this space.

 

 

Post Script to My Journey Through Orgasms

Earlier this week I posted a potted history of my relationship with the big O. It wasn’t always a positive one but I have found myself in a good place now. When I was reflecting on my story I realised I left out reasonable chunk. Reflecting on the prompt for this week’s Food 4 Thought I felt it was an opportunity to add a post script. 

Sometime around 2013 – 2014 I was diagnosed by my GP with depression. The diagnosis was a bit ad hoc and he readily prescribed a medication, Pristiq, a desvenlafixine. I trusted him, and like a good patient I went home and took my pills. I guess I was hoping that I would be able to treat this illness like others; take a medicine and be on my way.

pristiq

Before I go any further I want to say that I didn’t and still don’t consider myself to be seriously ill. My illness did not stop me from getting out of bed in the morning and, for the most part, it didn’t stop me from functioning like a regular human being. It did make life hard for the people close to me and I believe people who cared about me know when things are not going well for me. But I don’t consider myself to be seriously ill like some people with depression are. I am not trying to get in their bandwagon, so to speak.

So one of the side effects of Pristiq is a decrease in sexual function. It didn’t make me less interested in sex per se but it did make it difficult to climax. I would feel the pleasure of being stimulated in a slightly dulled way but to climax sometimes required a lot of concentration and sometimes the effort was more than I had in me. Looking back I realise it was probably one of the reasons I withdrew from the world of swinging, writing and blogging.  I told myself that it was because my career as a teacher seemed all consuming and pole dance was a better way to use my time but maybe it played a bigger role than I realised.

Early in 2019 during a consultation with my GP I mentioned that I would like to maybe consider an alternate medication that would perhaps deal with this problem. I don’t know why it took me so long. Or why I chose to get on the roundabout of changing medication then. I just did. I had just received the news that my hormones were consistent with being post-menopausal. Changing medications while dealing with that major life change was probably not the smartest thing to do. But I did it.

So I changed drugs to Valdoxan which works in a different way to Pristiq. Instead of messing with serotonin levels it helps re-align circadian rhythms. Doctors out there please don’t annihilate me. I have probably summarised this a little incorrectly. The process of changing drugs was hard. I don’t need to go in to that. Doing this at the same time I was processing the concept of my changed fertility status maybe wasn’t the best choice. For a few months I was all over the place. I cried at the drop of a hat, I really struggled to life some days.

My goal of increasing my sexual function was achieved. Sometimes I was able to climax after two strokes of a vibrator or a dildo. It was unheard of. On top of that I found that the grinding tiredness that had been a feature of my life for so long was lessened. There were many pluses.

In line with my changes I found myself getting back to being the Gemma of old. It has been reassuring and has made me feel kind of back to my old self. In my original post I explained oral sex was something I had a very on and off relationship with. Since the changes I have been fortunate to meet two men who have been connoisseurs of licking pussy. They have been more than happy to be covered in my juice. I have been more than happy to cover them.

I am very very glad that I had that conversation with my doctor. I am very very glad that I went through the grief of changing meds. I hope that one day I am able to be med free but for now I am content with my lot.

This post is part of Food 4 Thought Friday. Please click here to read the other entries for this week’s prompt Libido

My Journey Through Orgasms

I don’t remember how old I was when I started to masturbate. What I do remember is that my sexually repressive mother instilled in me an understanding that being sexual was not desirable and that talking about sex was forbidden. That included anything that led me to understand my own body. When I started menstruating at around 10 I didn’t actually know what was happening to me. But I digress. The purpose of this story is to record my journey through orgasms.

So somewhere, well before I started menstruating I learned to masturbate. Because of the environment I lived in I knew it was not spoken about and something I did it in private. Quietly. Secretly. For a long time I didn’t even really associate it with sexual pleasure. It was actually something I did to go to sleep at night.

As a teenager I lived in a boarding school. Being locked up with a bunch of teenage girls you would think would be very liberating sexually. In some ways it was. I was privy to conversations about sex with many different people from many different backgrounds. But in the end we were all teenagers, we didn’t actually know a lot of facts and we certainly didn’t have any adults around who were willing or able to help us.

So I graduated high school a classic Catholic school girl virgin. Horny, no real knowledge of how to interact with boys and no real understanding of sex. What I knew I had learned from magazines and science text books and whispered conversations that other more experienced girls had with their friends.

I lost my virginity to a man about five years my senior. These days he would be classified as a “toolie” because he hung around young school leavers but had actually left school several years earlier. He had a reasonably large dick which added ti his allure. It was a very unsatisfactory experience. He didn’t know I was a virgin, it was all over in a few minutes and I left feeling disappointed. Through him I met another man, again older but this relationship was much more educational from a sexual perspective.

I learned a little more about my own body during this relationship but the main takeaway was a discovery of, and pride in my ability to give head. I was a natural at this. I didn’t know this then but I know now my ability is mainly because I just love cocks. I love looking st them, I love the feel of them, I love exploring them with my mouth. I love the power of being able to make a man climax from my mouth, and yes. I swallow.

After this relationship and probably for the next ten or so years my sexual experiences were very one sided. My clitoris is sensitive. Most of the men I encountered had no fucking idea what to do with a vagina other than to stick their dick in it, so the vast majority of my orgasms came from my own hand. I liked penetrative sex but I didn’t climax from it, unless I fingered myself at the same time. I figured that was how sex was and for the most part I settled for that.

When we started swinging I came across a lot of people who wanted to lick me. I had no idea how to tell them what to do. I didn’t have the confidence to explore this with them I just knew it wasn’t good for me so I dealt with it the way I deal with a lot of stuff; I made it about them. I gave them good head, the men and the women. I fucked a lot and enjoyed myself immensely but usually I went home and had sex with Mr Jones so I could climax properly before I went to sleep. It was kind of a ritual between Mr Jones and I. Reclaiming the territory.

Somewhere along the journey I learned about squirting. I became aware of the spot at the entrance to my vagina that has been the source of immense pleasure ever since. I learned to relax, (insert Frankie Goes to Hollywood lyrics here). And the sweet juice flowed. At first it wasn’t much but over the years it has increased,

At this time I was still extremely cautious about mouths near my pussy. Women were almost never allowed (in my experience they are crap at licking pussy but that is another topic for another time). Select men were allowed for short bursts. Squirting was usually triggered when a guy slipped, or was pushed, out of me during sex. Or, and this is my personal favourite to this day, he pulled out and gently tapped my clit in the throes. OH MY GOD!!!! You want a sprinkler to erupt on your bed? Do that to me.

Then I met Pet. He was a dirty, dirty man and he loved me to squirt on his face. And I did, as often as I could. I feel sorry for the staff at the hotel we frequented. I missed that man when life happened and we parted company he opened my eyes to many things. One of which was the sheer pleasure of lying back and letting someone use their mouth on your lady bits.

Since then I have met a couple of men who genuinely love a woman sitting on their face and almost drowning them. There are a lot of men who SAY they like this but really there are few who actually do. Once they are horny it is about getting their dick wet.

When I climax that way it is frequent and if I get worked up enough it is uncontrollable. I literally cannot stop and have been known to climax from watching a man wank, from feeling his pleasure when I am sucking his cock and from having my nipples stimulated. But I need to be aroused enough first. I need the first teasing and licking I need to be built up and I need a connection with my partner.

It is hard for men to understand but all of that can go for hours and I can spasm countless times and ejaculate significant amounts of liquid. I believe it could be measured in litres but the science to back this up is pending. And yet I still need a large gut wrenching clitoral climax to be finished. If I don’t get that I will be a bit jittery and unsettled.

Something I did realise after a recent session with Johnny is that if the massive clitoral orgasm does happen during play I am very much like a man. I then want to cuddle, have a chat and go to sleep. If you do that to me you have three choices: 1. Cuddle, chat and go to sleep too, 2, cuddle, chat and then start again, from the beginning, 3. Immediately keep things happening and I will be good for a while but it will get a bit old in the not too distant future. Actually, if you pick option 2 you are also likely to get a short lived response as well.

The moral of the story; as tempting as it is to see me climax that way because it is fun to see a woman enjoy herself it is not a good idea to let it happen until you are ready for the closing credits yourself. Because after that my ultimate goal is to finish up and get some sleep.

I once had a friend who would describe her orgasms as many and varied. At the time I was still at the fingering while being penetrated stage of my journey. I was envious of her. I thought I would never be able to have that. Now I am a bit like her. It turns out that the secret to many varied and amazing orgasms is not the hand you are dealt. It is relaxing, and trying a whole bunch of different stuff.

On Love and Loss – Part 2

These questions were posed by fellow blogger at YourSex Interview. Responses to the first three can be found here

4. Why are we generous and gracious with strangers — but often selfish, and rude to our loved ones?

We are programmed to present a face to the world that is perfect. And so we present our best selves. This includes the self that is nice to other people. Instinctively we know we need others around us and the way that we ensure this is by being nice to others. Racking up favours so to speak so that we can call them in later. I am not convinced that the majority of people are very helpful or welcoming to complete strangers. Often we shun people if we don’t see an immediate benefit to ourselves from helping.

In terms of our loved ones, these are the people we feel most relaxed with. We say what we are thinking and act how we truly are around them. We don’t feel the obligation to rack up favour or to impress them, we have already done that. Instead we feel we can sometimes be less considerate because we know they will forgive us or even because we remember times when they were not considerate of us and we graciously accepted it.

5. Why does that one-time, crazy night, when they get super naughty, lose all inhibitions, and do stuff they would never do — always happen before they meet you?

Does it? Really? I don’t think it always does. I think if you are with the right people crazy stuff happens all the time. I know that is how it is with me. I did practically nothing crazy, spontaneous or naughty before I met Mr Jones. I was completely straighty 180 before I met him.

OK that was a slight exaggeration. But in all honesty the craziest naughtiest stuff in my life, he was there for all of it. Fucking every person at a party? One of those people was Mr Jones. Being tied and blindfolded and then pleasured in every way by three men? Mr Jones organised that. Packing up a caravan and two young children and travelling across the Nullarbor? That was definitely Mr Jones’ idea.

So if they did all the wild stuff before they met you and no wild stuff is happening now, that is on you. You are the one who is not letting them be free enough to be wild and you are not encouraging the wildness by creating opportunities for it to happen.

6. Why do we want the ones who we most cannot have – more than the ones who most want to have us?

In many ways this question is similar to number 1 of this series. We always want what we can’t have. If the object of our desire is in love with someone else they are by default unavailable to us.

But there are other layers to this question. What about situations where a person is desperately trying to gain our affection but we are oblivious to them? Or worse, completely creeped out by them. It happens all the time. When I was much, much younger I was working at a factory and someone kept leaving love notes in my locker. At the time I had a major crush on a man that worked there. I convinced myself that it was him.

It wasn’t

It was someone else, much older, less attractive and, ironically, married. Needless to say it didn’t go anywhere.

The crush? It didn’t go anywhere either. I was too silly and unsure of myself. I don’t know if he knew how I felt. Today Gemma would have been more direct, but back then Gemma didn’t even exist.

7. Why is getting a kiss so much closer to fucking, than a kiss is, to getting nothing?

Some swingers have a rule about not kissing people other than their partner. There is a reason for this. Kissing is intimate. It is personal. It can be as sexy as hell. My mind is full of little categories and rules. The way I make decisions is sometimes like the algorithms in search engines. If things meet this criteria and tick this box then I do this. If they meet a different criteria then I do something different. I am not sure if this is how other people think. But it is me.

So one of my little “mind rules” is that you only kiss people on the lips if you are fucking them. It was born of the way I used to kiss the Fix-Its good-bye. I would kiss Mr Fix It on the lips. I still do even though we haven’t fucked in a long time. In my brain it is a way of categorizing him so I remember how to act around him next time I see him. Yes, my brain is weird.

Biologically kissing makes you very vulnerable. Your skin protects you from invasion by germs. When you kiss someone you are touching them with a part of your body that is not protected by skin. You are trusting them not to make you sick. Fucking is a similar touch. So biologically they are similar. I think emotionally it is similar. You are exposing yourself. Getting close to them.

When you kiss Aunty Mary it is not intimate. She smells weird and you make it as quick as possible. When you kiss a lover, or someone you WANT as a lover you can smell them and you can put your hands on their body. You make it last and sometimes you can feel their heart thundering. It

is

intimate.

Like sex.

Posing Nude

When I read this week’s prompt for Food 4 Thought I didn’t think I would have anything to write. I take selfies for thrills and I admire good photography but I do not consider myself a photographer. It is not one of my passions.

Being in front of the lens is something I have a small amount of experience with and I enjoy it. I especially enjoy looking at the results. One of the images that was captured of me was compiled by a play friend I was seeing a few years ago.

I have posted this image before I am sure. I love how powerful I look in the image. I love that my friend took it after we had sex and I was covered with his cum. When I look at this image I see the details that I know he was focussed on,

He loved that he was able to be with a married woman. Whenever I look at this image I see my wedding ring I am not sure if he deliberately included it in the way it is there but to me it seems to be a feature,

I also know that he was very in to women with hairy pussies. At the time I routinely shaved and the timeline of this photography session was aligned with a time when I had let my hair grow out s bit. These days I am less worried about trends and keeping myself the way others want me to be and my pubic hair is routinely longer than in this photo.

Recently I have been talking with a man who is interested in taking nudes and erotic photos. I am kind of hoping that I will be able to acquire an image like this one again, perhaps minus the cum but one that makes me feel so sexy and powerful.

This post is part of Food 4 Thought Friday. #148 – Photography. Please click here and visit some other excellent writers and photographers to check out their stories.