Fantasy vs Reality Pt 2 – The Reality

For this week’s Wicked Wednesday I posted a man’s swing fantasy. In the original post the challenge was to post the fantasy and the reality. This is the second part of the post – the reality.

They could hear the faint bass of the music through the glass door as they stepped up to the entrance to the club. As he placed his hand on the door handle, he glanced over at Nicole. Finally, they were here. Tonight was the night that the fantasy that filled his mind every time he touched himself would become a reality.

“Ready?” he asked, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach.

She squeezed his hand and smiled, just as nervous as he was.

“Let’s do it.”

They stepped through the door together. Daniel wasn’t sure what he expected but when he was completely honest, he was a little disappointed. The inside of the club was very similar to other nightclubs except there were far fewer people. Patrons stood chatting at the bar and the small tables scattered around. In one corner a dance floor with two poles was mostly empty. Like himself and Nicole most of the patrons wore normal street clothes, just a little bit shorter and some of them with more revealing necklines.

He didn’t know what he really expected but he was certainly disappointed at the lack sexiness of the whole scene. There were no pornographic images on the wall. No naked or semi naked people anywhere to be seen or even people making out. It all seemed so boring.

The managers of the club showed them around, explained the rules about not touching without an invitation, not entering a closed room and where to put the towels after they used them. At the end of the tour Daniel and Nicole were introduced to a few of the regular people and they found themselves chatting to an older couple. The conversation was about regular things mostly. Occasionally the couple would ask a question about how long they had been together and what they were wanting out of tonight but they didn’t know how to answer. It was all so awkward. Daniel’s fantasy seemed further away than ever. It seemed straightforward at home in their bedroom but now they were really here and really doing it suddenly it seemed a little more complex. He looked over at an adjoining table, two couples were flirting and chatting with each other. How does that happen? he wondered.

Time passed, the other couple seemed attractive enough but he wasn’t sure of the protocol. They seemed a little hesitant. Maybe they weren’t interested. Then seemingly out of the blue the woman asked,

“Do you guys want to get a room?”

He looked over at Nicole. She nodded,

“Why not?” She replied with a smile.

Relief washed through Daniel, followed by a sudden rush of nerves. It was really going to happen now. Really.

Once inside the room things happened quickly. The couple undressed, quickly and efficiently. Daniel felt like a klutz shrugging out of his clothes. The four of them lay on the bed together and looked at each other. The other couple seemed to be waiting for some kind of cue.

“So what kinds of things are you guys interested in?” The woman asked.

Nicole shrugged, “We don’t have any expectations,” she replied. “Whatever comes along I guess,”

The women started kissing. Daniel watched, feeling his cock stiffening. This was one of the things he knew she wanted. It was one of the things he wanted as well. The sight of their two soft bodies pressing together was incredibly sexy, so much more arousing in real life than watching two women in a porno.

Just as he was getting into what was happening between the women the other woman broke away from Nicole,

“I don’t like the guys to feel left out,” she smiles up at him as she snuggled against him. It felt odd, the first woman he had been naked with except for Nicole for seven years. The feel of the unfamiliar skin excited him. He bent down and kissed her, slowly at first before her mouth opened and he probed her with his tongue. Over her shoulder he could see Nicole kissing the other man. Daniel was torn between exploring the woman curled up against him and watching his wife with another man. His new partner broke out of the kiss and wiggled her way down the bed. As he kneeled above her, watching his wife being pleasured by another man she began licking the tip of his cock.

Her tongue swirled around his foreskin before she took him deeper and deeper into her mouth. Daniel looked down at her head as she sucked and then over at Nicole who was lying back on the second bed with the other man’s face buried between her thighs. The whole scene was surreal and intensely exciting, but he worried about a million things.

His head filled with doubts, would he be big enough, would he do this right is he big enough? The other man’s penis seemed enormous to him. Suddenly he felt completely inadequate. He worried about Nicole enjoying the other man more than her own husband. He looked down at the other woman, what if she didn’t like him because she was used to someone else?

Her mouth on his cock is warm and wet but despite enjoying it he can feel that he wasn’t going to stay hard.

He moved on top of her and she rubbed his cock over her thigh. Mistaking it for an invitation he tilted his hips to slip inside her. With a small frown she pushed him away and asked him to don a condom. Then he sees the other husband donning a condom without any prompting. How could he have made that mistake? Of course they should use condoms. The other man passed him a condom; Daniel could feel his cock softening even more. He wondered if he would even get hard enough to put it on. All he wanted to do was put his clothes on and leave. Disappointment welled up. He had wanted this for so long and now his fantasy is not working out how he planned it at all.

The other woman took the condom from him and moved to place her mouth over him. Nothing about the way she moved showed that what was happening to him was weird. He felt a little better. In her mouth he feels himself getting hard again and relief floods through him. She manages to slide the condom over his cock, and he finds himself guiding his cock into the first woman he has fucked, other than his wife for years. He takes some time to enjoy the moment. Underneath him the woman twisted and turned enjoying his cock. His cock is still not as hard as he would like, and her movements push him out of her.

They tried again but the same thing happened. Daniel could see that she was getting frustrated. When he glanced over at Nicole she looked as sexy as hell, but her cries of pleasure frustrated him. He wanted to be that excited. He wanted the moment to take him over, but it wasn’t working for him. He knew he should feel happy for her but watching the other man with his huge cock bigger than his ever was fucking his wife made him feel sad and pathetic.

The other man groaned as he emptied himself inside Nicole who celebrated his pleasure with him by pressing her body against him as he came. Daniel moved over to Nicole and turned her over to fuck her doggy style, the sight of her full round butt turned upwards, inviting him in never failed to turn him on. As he slid inside her he asked her to suck the other man. It was intense watching his wife in a spitroast but still he was frustrated, still he couldn’t cum.

Then someone knocked on the door,

“Closing time,” a voice drifted through.

Now everyone was waiting for him to finish but he knew he couldn’t. The other couple move away from the bed and dress quietly.

“We will see you outside,” The smile and quietly leave.

Image result for bad sex

Social Overload

Mr Jones and I have been “In the Lifestyle” for about ten years. Initially we started out exploring together and our rules, such as they were, stated that we played together and only with other couples.

Early in our journey we met a few couples who we went on to become good friends with some of the couples we met. We hung out with them as regular friends attending some family events, camping together and sharing meals etc. We did fall into a group or a couple of groups who held parties regularly and we attended some parties that were like the fantasy stories that people read about.

Over time we became more relaxed about our ‘rules’ and our relationship evolved into the more Open Marriage that I described in last week’s TMI Tuesday post. Other changes in our lives including me beginning my Teaching career and a decline in my mental health has meant that we grew away from the traditional swinging lifestlye. We pursued our own partners or visited clubs to pick up people for sex. Sometimes we interacted with couples but the interaction was limited and often frustrating as it is difficult to find a couple where all four members are happy and comfortable with each other.

Last year I was included by a long term friend in a group that organises weekends away for like minded people. I decided it might be fun to dip our toes in that water again so I signed Mr Jones and myself up for a weekend at a large holiday house with four or five other couples.

In terms of fucking the weekend was relatively tame. In terms of getting naked or semi-naked, making innuendoes and playing sexy games we were fairly out there. In terms of drinking, it was next level.

The wash up from the weekend is that Mr Jones and I have found ourselves back on the social merry-go-round of the South East Queensland swing scene. One of the royal couples of this scene has taken us into their ‘bubble’ and we now find ourselves drinking and socialising much more than we have in quite a long time. It has been a journey and an awakening. It is exhausting.

I have been diagnosed with garden variety depression and been medicated for this for quite some time. I believe that it is mostly hormonal and a result of menopause, or so I thought. I have always avoided the idea that I had anxiety but I definitely find interacting with large groups of unfamiliar people difficult and very, very tiring. Add that to forcing my body to digest significant amounts of alcohol more regularly than I have in about twenty years and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Last night we attended a birthday party for one of our new friends. It was fun, they had employed a fantastic musician and we met some nice people. But during the course of the evening there was discussion about upcoming events following Christmas and New Year. The birthday girl announced that she had no free weekends until 21 Feb!!!! My brain hurts thinking about that much socialising.

Of course they are encouraging us to come along to some of those events but we find ourselves hesitating. We are enjoying the new set of friends. We are having fun but such a radical change in such a short amount of time is hard to deal with. I need some time to adjust. I also think we are not going to be the people who are at everything. I just don’t think I can cope with dealing with that many people so regularly.

And so over the next month we are going to be adjusting and evaluating. Hopefully we will be able to strike a balance that works for everyone.

Expectations

Swing clubs can be very daunting places. So many uncertainties. It is a completely different world where the normal rules you are used to don’t always apply. The rule about not being able to flirt with and hook up with people who are not single or your partner doesn’t apply. The rules about appropriate clothing do not apply. The rules about fucking in private do not apply. It is a place where alternate is the norm but sometimes, somehow mainstream can worm its way into your thinking and the way you act.

sheldon cooper

One of the things your mother tells you when you are a child learning how to socialise is “just be yourself.” That phrase is something that every child who doesn’t quite fit in learns to hate over time. Like Sheldon they go out into the world being loud and proud about themselves and they get beaten down. By those that are considered beautiful and ‘normal’ and ‘cool’. Just being yourself is not just about wearing what you like and doing the things you like. It is actually about being happy to be yourself and being confident that there are people who appreciate you, even if they are not in front of you at that moment. It takes a long time for some people to learn that being cool is not about wearing the right clothes, saying the right things or even about the people you hang out with. Truly cool people don’t care about being cool. They know what they are on about and they are happy with it. They aren’t overly concerned about people’s opinion of themselves because they are happy to go home with themselves at the end of the night.

These rules apply in triplicate at a swing club. Whatever the reason you are there, whatever you are looking for the number one thing to remember is, you are enough. Maybe not for the people who are there at the time but you are enough for yourself. This is a very hard thing to remember. When you are sitting there watching people who you think are more attractive than you, dressed more sexily than you feel, it is hard not to revert to that kid in the playground who nobody liked or who the other girls laughed at because your clothes were not quite right. Or who other people felt threatened by because you were smarter than them and you didn’t bother to hide it.

Recently I had an experience like that. Without realising I was feeling very negative about myself. I went out wearing the same clothes I normally do, I thought I was doing the same things I normally did but somehow people were not responding the same way. At one point I realised that something wasn’t right but this only made me feel worse about myself. I felt I wasn’t good enough and I had this self destructive need to prove my worth by finding a man to have sex with. Even though it wasn’t the man I was with. I did find someone, you always can it is just a question of standards really, The sex was OK and he was not a bad or even ugly guy but the experience stayed with me for days. It ate at me. I knew it meant that I had to step back.

Flash forward to several weeks later. I am back in the same space with a better outlook. As things are in this world I had a much better night. I met a guy who was very sexy and he, Mr Jones and I enjoyed a good hour and a half of fun together. I was feeling spoiled and frankly quite lucky to be alive. I noticed a couple who I had seen earlier in the night. They were new to the venue and I had noticed they didn’t seem quite at ease. They were older and their appearance was a little unconventional. When I had encountered them earlier it had seemed as if Mr had needed a bit of dutch courage and was under the influence. She was clearly looking for a woman and was a bit hands on. It made me avoid them. That, and the man who I had set my sights on.

Now with that itch scratched I let my good nature take over and I went to speak to them. She was still keen to get naked with me. I could feel her frustration and hurt. I didn’t want to add to it but I also didn’t want to have sex with her. As gently as I could I told her that I wasn’t looking for a girl. She made some comment about how she felt judged and not the right kind of attractive. In all honesty she was right. The people there right then were not the kind of people who would be into her. But how could I explain to her and at the same time reassure her that she was enough?

I tried. Mr Jones told me later that I couldn’t have done any thing else. He re-affirmed that I did everything I could. It wasn’t enough. She wasn’t ready or able to listen. Things went really south when I noticed her husband wearing a cock ring. (We made a stupid childish pact to be naked together in a non-sexual way.) I wanted to ask him about it because of my recent experiences with The I.T. Guy Besides, in my world, penis will almost ALWAYS trump vagina. My new friend(?) reacted badly. Everything became really awkward and I found myself picking up my clothes and retreating to a safe corner. There were angry words coming from a place of hurt and my cock ring wearing friend decided it was time to take his wife home.

I was dissapointed for them. They had gone out on a limb in search of a fantasy and it had ended badly. I know I am the kind of person who will reflect on an event like that and try to take away lessons to apply. I am not sure about these two. I genuinely hope that she finds what she is searching for and that her visit to the small window on the world of alternate sexuality that is a swingers club did not scar her too deeply.

Just a Regular Friday Evening

This last week has been slightly crazier than normal. Well I guess we are shooting towards the pointy end of the term when assignment drafts and then their offspring actual final copies of assignments start to journey from school to my home and then back again. Sometimes they get marked, sometimes their journey is pointless. Whatever the case their presence in my bag makes me feel better when I leave in the afternoon. Especially on a Friday.

This particular Friday I left work with a few drafts, some final assignments and various ideas about upcoming units for next term in my bag. But what was in my mind was the plan to go out and be sexy. Four days of routine stuff and dealing mostly with other people’s issues left me with a desire to be just plain slutty. To that end I spent Friday drinks messaging a prospective partner in my sluttiness while some of my younger, unmarried colleagues discussed Tinder and made ribald plans for their weekend. I am pretty sure they thought that in between my jibes about their casual sex that I was messaging my daughter or some such. I am certain that they had no idea of how my evening was going to unfold. In actual fact neither did I.

After observing my ‘work son’ messaging someone with a look on his face that plainly said “I am messaging a girl I hope to fuck tonight” I left, picked up my daughter from the train, went home, made risotto and prepared myself. Dressed in a little black dress that was short but not ridiculous and showed way too much cleavage I donned my favourite shoes grabbed my Bacardi and was escorted out the door by Mr Jones.

Friday night at our local ‘club’ is single guys night. As has been the case the last few times we have visited on Friday there were definitely more sausages than buns. The quality of the offering can be a bit hit and miss but there is usually something to be had which will result in some fun.

I was in luck there was a young man, we played pool, we joked and then we proceeded to the downstairs lounge area where a serious ‘book club’ style conversation was in progress. Sometimes it is people talking about sex. This particular night I think the loungers were actually talking about television. Sad really but hey who am I to judge?

I was keen to check out what my new friend was packing. It has become one of those things that occupies my mind; “he seems nice, he looks sexy but what is in his pants?” I don’t demand a huge dick to fuck but I am not a fan of below average. So despite a bunch of people discussing football and other random stuff on the next couch zippers were unzipped and I inspected his package with my mouth. It didn’t make me gag but it did require effort to get my lips all the way down the shaft. Yes he would do.

Mr Jones loves to watch this unfold, he also loves the part that comes next. What he really loves is watching a cock inside me and seeing cum either on my body or inside me. In the interest of safety the ‘on me’ option is my go to. Something Mr Jones doesn’t like is full on play in public view. So despite some of our book club members realising there was something more interesting happening beside them we took ourselves off to a closed room where we proceeded to get naked.

I just want to say that my new friend had some skills in the pussy licking department and I found myself wishing I could let myself squirt as much as I wanted. He also hinted that he might be interested in/ good at licking my arse, something which I enjoy but not usually on a first fuck. Things progressed to the penetrative sex. I lay in Mr Jones arms with my legs in the air while he fucked me. It was very, very good. Exactly what I came For. His cock was the right size to make me do that thing where he accidentally slips out mid thrust and I squirt all over him. I realised that I am slightly addicted to that sensation in that once it happens I can’t stop myself from making it happen again. The owners of the club don’t like squirting all over their beds. It is messy and annoying to clean up. I try so hard to keep it under control but sometimes it slips out.

After s good shagging I turned my attention to Mr Jones. My new friend watched for a while as I rode my husband, loving the feeling of his cock inside me. I looked over and asked him what he would like. His response was not unexpected. What was unexpected was my response. I said yes to double penetration. Not that it was my first time. Just not something I usually consider with a guy I have just met.

It was better than I expected. Anal and I have a weird complicated relationship. Sometimes I enjoy it, sometimes it hurts like a motherfucker. Hence my reluctance to share it with new people. This was one of those enjoyable times. The feeling of fullness was amazing, as was the feeling of being sandwiched between two guys. I will never get tired of it. Ever.

The morning after I was still glowing. My arse was tingling and I was still wrapping my head around what had happened. A random pick up on a semi-spontaneous night out resulted in something that many people only ever fantasise about. I am not sure if my work son scored with the girl he was messaging. What I am sure about is that his sexual encounter was mundane compared to mine. It is always the quiet ones you have to keep an eye on.

Opening the Box

Swinging can be compared to many things. A recent experience made me consider that it is like Pandora’s Box. Before you start it seems like a magical thing that can make everything right with the world. But, like the girl in the classic tale, you never really know what is in the box until you open it and once the box is opened and all the treasures come out you can never put them back in again. 

As we were becoming accustomed to Mr Jones and I encountered a couple on a recent outing that were on their first foray into the magical world of swinging. Like us they had been married for a long time. Unlike us they had married young and had missed out on the early sexual decadence that some people are lucky enough to experience in their youth. Like most new people they had no idea what to expect from a visit to a swingers club and, sadly, like a lot of new people they also had a very specific idea of what they wanted. 

I am a great believer in living out your fantasy but experience has taught me that that making a fantasy into a reality is difficult. You will never achieve exactly what you envisage in your mind; there will always be someone or something that is not exactly what you imagined. This couple, or rather Mrs Newbie, felt the need to have another penis in her life. Her husband was most obliging and had agreed for her to make that fantasy come to life. On the evening in question there were a number of penises on offer but she was fussy, not a bad thing. The penis she was looking for had to come attached to a young, tattooed, well muscled young man. Oddly enough there were no men matching her description on offer. 

The four of us chatted for a while. I explained that Mr Jones and I were in the market for a couple that particular evening. It didn’t occur to me to make it abundantly clear that I came as part of a package and the selection of said package included interaction with all parts of the package. They seemed a little dissatisfied with things and I expected that they were going to leave early. She was that kind of person, if things aren’t going the way she wants, she is out. 

This was when the box opened. On my way to the bathroom I passed them sitting at a table and chatting with a single man who definitely didn’t meet the requirements. To my surprise Mrs Newbie, reached out and pulled me towards her asking if She could kiss me. It has been a long time since I kissed a woman but it wasn’t too bad. Before I could entirely process everything that was happening we were in a room on the way to getting naked. She was very focussed on having her first girl on girl experience, even though she had said that wasn’t really what she wanted, the guys were a little awkward. Mr Newbie had his instructions, he wasn’t really part of the action for this evening but he had come prepared to watch his wife be fucked by another man, not engage in the ultimate fantasy of watching his wife with another woman and the expected extension of that fantasy, fuck the other woman himself. Mrs Newbie had explained to me that she was not interested in Mr Jones, something I was OK with because I expected that Mr Newbie was a no go for me. 

As things heated up barriers were smashed and we ended up in a situation where Mrs Newbie gave her husband the green light to play with me. It didn’t occur to her that her reluctance to interact with Mr Jones meant that I didn’t really want to play with both of them and leave my husband watching. Some people are a little selfish like that. Eventually she came up for air and what had just happened started to sink in, she commented that she felt really hot and needed a drink and some air. In a normal situation I guess her husband would have realised that this was a sign of trouble. However he was still in the throes of realising that he had, for the first time in a 20+ year relationship come perilously close to an encounter with a vagina that was not part of his wife. 

After a very flustered struggle with her underwear, (a tip for newbies, don’t wear complicated or hard to remove clothes, the can look great but they can really kill the mood when you are trying to get them off or, as in this scenario, get them on so that you can make a hasty exit) Mrs Newbie left, unknown to us, the building. Mr Newbie commented that his wife had a bit of  a tendency to flee from situations that she found challenging. He was a little reluctant to leave probably feeling that would be bad form. He wasn’t really wrong but staying when your wife is already in the car waiting for you to come and drive her away from this overwhelming situation is much worse form. 

We were not really surprised by the turn of events but we conceded that getting dressed and literally running out of the club without even saying goodbye properly is a sign that things are not OK. Once Mr Jones and I would have worried that we had done something wrong, and speculated way too much about the relationship dynamics of Mr and Mrs Newbie. But the extent of our conversation after their departure was that they were definitely going to have some things to process in the aftermath of their evening. I did go on to reflect that having your first swinging or extra martial encounter can be like opening Pandora’s box. Before you open the lid it can seem like all the wonders of the world are inside but opening the box can uncover many unexpected things some of which are the exact opposite of what you are looking for. Like the box in the story the lid can never be replaced, the repercussions of what you let out can take a long time to process.

The Pandora’s box of swinging has been at time a blessing and a curse for us. There have been many issues in our relationship that have been bought to the fore by the situations that we have found ourselves in but on the flip side we have been very fortunate that we have been able to live out many, many fantasies. In addition we have been privileged to have been able to help other people live out theirs and to help them open the Pandora’s box for themselves in a fun, non destructive kind of way. In the situation of Mr and Mrs Newbie we definitely helped them to open their personal box but I am certain they were not expecting what came out. I just hope that they are able to deal with it and don’t spend the rest of their life wishing that they had left well enough alone. 

The Big Red Door Part One

This post covers the next step the wonderful Journey that Mr Jones and I find ourself on. If you are a new visitor to these pages you can catch up with the previous posts on the page, The Journey to Now. I will return to this story periodically as I write posts dealing with it.

I am a child of the eighties. I started high school in 1985 at a school that boasted a very modern computer room. The machines that were housed in this miracle of modern technology probably had less processing power than a pocket calculator of 2014. I remember when the Internet was invented and I remember when Windows was considered a pretty nifty invention. What does this have to do with swinging? Well not a whole lot really except that it is very hard to imagine modern swinging without the internet. When Mr Jones and I decided to embark on the epic journey of opening our marriage we were blissfully unaware of this fact. The idea of using a dating website to meet people for sex was beyond the scope of our imagination. And so we found ourselves facing the big red front door of a swingers club that Mr Jones had located and researched, ironically on the Internet.

Getting from the point of discussing swinging as a very real possibility and not just a fantasy and actually standing at the door of the club took time, lots and lots of it. When Mr Jones had told me about the club my reaction was one of complete terror. A million questions plagued me like; what will the people be like? And what will they expect of me? I was terrified, I am not sure what of. Even now I can’t explain exactly what I was afraid of. It could have been a fear of the unknown or perhaps instinctively I understood that taking that step was like opening the life of Pandora’s box,  just of what I hadn’t experienced before and didn’t understand. Most likely my opinions were still being formed by the stereotypes that permeate our pop culture; that swinging is somehow sleazy and dirty and that the kind of people who would go to swing clubs are not ‘nice people’.

In the weeks and months after he had made the suggestion and told me of his discovery I allowed myself to get used to the idea and even read up on the information contained in the website in question. Thinking back now I can’t really understand how my mindset moved from the conservative values I was raised with and that formed the basis of most of my fears and the acceptance of the possibilities enough to take the first step of agreeing to visit the club. I didn’t watch porn, I didn’t read a lot of erotica and the idea of group sex was for me a little bit foreign. But move my perceptions I did.

One Saturday night we found ourselves standing at the reception counter of the much discussed club. It was located in an inner city industrial area tucked around the corner one block back from a main roadway. Convenient but not obvious, discreet even. The owner of the club was a very tall outspoken woman. She was not conventionally beautiful but she was very sexually appealing. More importantly she was welcoming, friendly and very matter of fact. She explained the rules of the club, took our money and arranged a tour for us. It was like stepping into another planet full of strange alien customs.

The private rooms where people went to have sex either with an open or closed door were fairly easy to deal with but the bondage play area where things got a little more kinky was slightly more out of the box. This particular club featured a room with a one way window where people could be observed without being able to see the people looking through the window. This room also featured a live internet stream. It was a little early and the club was filling slowly. After our tour Mr Jones and I sat in the bondage area which was on a mezzanine above the main bar area. He was very excited already by what he had seen and the possibilities that were opening up to us.

We had agreed that this evening was about window shopping. We didn’t know what to expect so we didn’t want to commit to doing anything in particular. A couple came up to us and introduced themselves. They were a little older than us and he explained that his wife liked to be tied up and pleasured by another woman. If there was a moment in that whole evening when I was going to run out of the door that was it. I was interested in exploring my bisexuality and these days a proposition like that would have been all kinds of interesting. But on that night, when I was taking the first tentative steps into exploring a lifestyle that went against most of what I had been taught for my entire life, it was terrifying. Thankfully I wasnt that easily deterred. I politely explained that we were very new and were “just looking” tonight. The couple were very understanding and left us to our own devices.

This understanding was something which I hadn’t really expected but it is something that I have become very accustomed to in the clubs that Mr Jones and I frequent. As we became more experienced we have learned that a lack of tolerance and understanding of where people are at is a sign of people who aren’t secure in their primary relationship and need to be avoided at all costs. Trying to remember the night now is difficult.

The whole night of course proved to be one of those experiences that changed our lives completely forever. We knew then that we had discovered something exceptional, we found ourselves not wanting to leave, reluctant to let go of our discovery, perhaps afraid that it would dissappear forever if we did, but the time came when we had to make a move. As we were leaving we said our goodbyes to a couple we had been speaking to. Like us they were relatively new to the whole scene and still working out what they were looking for. As we said goodbye she reached up and kissed me.

It was unlike any other kiss that I had ever experienced. The thing that remained with me to this day is the softness of a woman’s kiss. It is the thing that I keep going back to now when my curiosity is satisfied and I am no longer particularly interested in sex with women. That and breasts. I really really like beautiful natural breasts. Afterwards for weeks Mr Jones was completely buzzed by this happening. He kept singing to me the lyrics from the Katey Perry song, “I Kissed a Girl” which was on the charts at the time. Travelling home and for the next weeks afterwards we talked many times about what we had seen and done. Our sex took on another dimension. The thing that was absolutely, unequivocally going to happen next was another visit.

Let’s Swing

When I talk to vanilla people about my relationship with Mr Jones one of the most common reactions is “I respect your right to choose how you live your life but I couldn’t possibly be like that with my wife / partner” Which is a completely understandable reaction. I guess the thing that most people don’t consider is that we didn’t wake up one day and decide that we were going to have an open marriage. The decision itself to open the door was one that took a long time (like years) to happen.

I remember very clearly when Mr Jones and I made our relationship permanent telling him that I was not going to hold a physical infidelity against him because I knew that he loved me and no matter how many women he fucked outside of our marriage he wasn’t going to leave me. There were a few factors that led to that feeling of confidence; Firstly I was confident of myself in those days in a way that I am not so much now. Secondly he had been in several very serious relationships before I came along and I was the first woman he seriously considered having children with.

I knew that he considered having children a very serious thing. It wasn’t an endeavour that you entered into with just anyone unlike getting engaged. Which seems to be the opposite of most people’s ideas. Maybe that is the reason there are so many mixed families out there and so many children who don’t have a good idea of family or security. But we digress.

Another thing that I remember very clearly and I am not sure if I ever voiced this fear, I know I certainly didn’t at the time. Was that I was deflated by the idea that I would never have sex with another person except Mr Jones. It wasn’t that I didn’t like sex with him, it was some of the best sex I had ever experienced. But rather that I feared becoming old and stale and that I would be missing out on something.

So there we were, almost drowning in the emotional sea of having young children and dealing with life in general. I was struggling with the effect of children on the quantity of my sleep, on my career and on the way the world viewed me. He was struggling with an unexpected sense of responsibility, a sudden change in the amount of my attention he was receiving and more specifically a lack of physical contact between us.

As time wore on the conflict between what I wanted and what I thought I should do became stronger and stronger. I have realised only recently the massive amount of guilt I automatically heap upon myself at every opportunity. Given this you can imagine how much guilt I was carrying around. Mother guilt, wife guilt, daughter guilt and, just in case it wasn’t enough, guilt for not having enough guilt. All of this negativity had a serious impact on my confidence in myself as well as my general outlook. I withdrew from everything including my marriage. But instead of recognising what was happening I took the view that the problem was the marriage, it wasn’t supporting me in the way I needed.

I was very passive / aggressive at that time. I didn’t stand up for myself I just held on to my negative feelings and tried to hide them because, you guessed it, I felt guilty that I wasn’t the perfect modern superwoman.

Things came to a head when a work colleague took advantage of my unhappiness and insecurity and after much coercion on his part and a quantity of alcohol on my part I ended up naked with him. It would be much cooler if there was swinging from the rafters sex but the reality of things is that we had both drunk too much, I was consumed by guilt and fear and he couldn’t even get an erection. So was there sex? Technically no but I definitely cheated.

This series of events became a turning point in my marriage for a lot of reasons. Firstly I bought to a head some of the issues that had led to the infidelity in the first place. Despite my conviction that he was oblivious to my feelings and issues Mr Jones knew something was amiss and so he had preempted my infidelity a little. In an intense discussion he made me promise that I was going to be honest about everything that happened. He had worked out that my work colleague was cutting his grass so to speak and he knew it was probably only a matter of time.

Because of all of this I fessed up almost immediately. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done. What followed was an intense few months of late night deep and meaningful conversations, painful and frustrating revelations of feelings, long buried and hidden from each other and of course, guilt. On the plus side issues that both of us had were voiced, and actions were taken to deal with them. Both of us learned a lot about communication and honesty. But more importantly we both learned that the only factor that was going to end our marriage was ourselves. The actions of other people didn’t have any effect as long as we kept communicating with each other.

It wasn’t immediately after this series of events, both of us needed some time to heal, but because of the things we learned about each other that Mr Jones suggested that we open the door of our bedroom and enter into the mysterious world of swinging.

Swinging Etiquette 101 – Looking After Your Partner

The morning after a visit to the swingers club is always an interesting time for me. Most of the time there is the post gratuitous sex horniness that sees me wanting to fuck any erect penis in sight. But what also happens always is a kaleidoscope of images, sights, sounds and experiences to sort through and ponder over. No matter what happens on the night I always come away with some kind of new insight or discovery about human nature.

Often in the earlier part of the night, when everyone else is scoping out partners and scrambling around for the best deal they can get I find myself people watching. There are lots of aspects to this hobby, checking out shoes and clothes, scoping for potential partners, watching people I already know and watching other people’s relationships in action.

The relationship part is something I find endlessly fascinating. When you come across two people who really have their shit together it is heartwarming and so fucking sexy to watch them interact. The sexiest thing a man can do is worship the woman he loves.

On the flip side the least sexy thing a person can do is leave their partner for dead. I am not going to be all holier than thou and say I have always had Mr Jones at the forefront of my mind, especially at the beginning of my corruption but these days I am mostly focussed on him.

My adventures last night included an encounter with a fairly sexy guy. We were introduced by a mutual friend and the attraction between us was immediate. Things got a bit awkward when another couple happened along and the woman of the couple decided that she was also interested in Mr Hot Guy. So there we were for a while, Hot Guy, me, the other woman and our respective husbands. To summarise, three penises and two vaginas. It was pretty obvious that both the women were interested in Hot Guy and Hot Guy, like any red blooded male, was up for two women pleasuring him but the equation also included two other men.

Personally I am more than happy to accommodate two penises and this

IMG_0328.JPGcould have provided a solution to the imbalance but the other husband didn’t ring my bell. Based on her actions my husband wasn’t ringing the other woman’s bell either. That is fine, it is our choice. To cut a long story short Other Woman ended up dragging Hot Guy off for some fun without even looking back at her husband who was sitting watching proceedings and feeling really awkward.

In situations like that my responsibility is for the pleasure of my own husband and myself. Other Husband is entirely NOT my responsibility. As I said I am more than happy to accommodate more than one man and I took the opportunity to indulge in a spit roast, something I have a soft spot for, but after a while I decided that my charity to other husband only extended to a sympathy head job. The full threesome experience was not going to happen for him. I was also pretty clear that I was not prepared to indulge the FFM fantasy experience for Hot Guy. Other Woman may have been happy leaving her husband for dead but I don’t work that way.

At the start of our journey Mr Jones and I were very clear about our responsibility to care for each other in club and party situations. This is mainly a safety thing but it does extend to rescuing each other from being cornered with weird people and ensuring that making sure that no one gets left out. I take this seriously. My primary relationship is my primary focus. No guy, or woman, is hot enough to warrant treating my husband badly. In my opinion there is no excuse for treating your partner badly in a swing situation. People who do are really unattractive in the worst possible way.

Of course I don’t know all the details of this particular couple’s relationship and so my reading of the situation may be mistaken. It is something that I have seen before and probably have been guilty of myself from time to time. We all make mistakes. That is OK as long as we learn from them. At the end of the day we are going home with our respective partners they are the ones we have to live with and so it makes sense that we remember that.

This is NOT Bookclub

For the people out there who have not been following me for long and for those of you who have been living under a rock here are a couple of facts about me that you may or may not be aware of;
1. I am a massive exhibitionist
2. I love to suck cock
So, now that we have that straight I will continue with my story.

Last Saturday evening Mr Jones and myself decided to visit a swingers club that we frequent. The evening started out in the usual way, we had some drinks, we chatted with some people and played some pool. As is the way in venues like this the evening started out fairly awkward with couples all sitting around huddled next to each other looking at the crowd around them. Once everyone had a few drinks the more outgoing folk started to make themselves known to the folks they were interested in.

Standing at the bar I became part of a conversation with an attractive but slightly inebriated young lady who was unhappy with the state of affairs downstairs in the main play area. This area is a large lounge like room furnished with couches that is away from the main bar, smoking and traffic areas and often becomes the site of a fair bit of action. My new friend was proclaiming that tonight, however, it was like being at book club. In her opinion there was not enough nudity and adult action.

She went on to explain that it was her boyfriend’s birthday after midnight and that he was to be subjected to as much stimulation as possible without any chance of climax. She also went on to boast about his size and challenged any woman within earshot to get more than an inch of his cock into her mouth. Immediately I was up for the challenge.

And so a group led by the Pocket Rocket invaded the “book club”. Under instruction from Pocket Rocket several of us lost clothing and she proceeded to tease her lover. Once his pants were off I was keen to see the large member she boasted of, I was a little disappointed, but he turned out to be a bit of a grower.

Eventually I was able to take her up on her challenge. He did have rather a nice cock and it was hair free which is always a good thing. Another good feature was his head, the smaller one, which was kind of pointy which serves well for deep throating. Considering it was his birthday I took my time with him and encouraged him to a good size and hardness which can be hard for a guy when he has had a few drinks and has a large audience. I then proceeded to take the bulk of his cock into my mouth which shocked Pocket Rocket a little.

As I said earlier, I love sucking cock. I love teasing a completely flaccid guy into a full blown throbbing hard on using only my mouth. I love you engulfing a shy cock with my lips and holding it until it forces its way out of my mouth with its excitement. And I love, love, love, looking into a man’s eyes as I fuck his cock with my mouth. I also love doing this in front of a live audience. The thought of other men touching themselves while watching me is one of my biggest turn ons. So I was in my element.

It turned out that Pocket Rocket had the attention span of a goldfish and despite how impressed she was by my ability she was soon off in search of another audience and some more stimulation. Which suited me fine. I would very much have liked to follow such an impressive head job with a damn good fucking from the cock I had just sucked so well but I also had other fish to fry.

Did I mention that I am sometimes into women, awkward guys and oddly, of late, the occasional hairy chest? And so the night progressed. Yes Pocket Rocket was right. It is definitely NOT Book Club.

If you either live in Brisbane or are visiting Mr Jones and I would recommend that you check out Mikes Place, unless of course you are looking for a real book club.