Blog Archives

It’s Been a While

Somewhere back in January I remember thinking I was going to become blogger of the year in 2018. I was going to post regularly people would think I am hilarious and I would become famous all over the internet……

Oh no wait, that was my cat. Of course because the only that people want to look at is memes and pictures of animals.

So here I am on the verge of Easter holidays. Deep in the throes of marking assignments and exams hoping beyond hope that all my students are geniuses and that I can give them all As. (It isn’t until term 4 and I am looking down the barrel of Christmas holidays that I will have truly gotten to know them and be more realistic about the effort they are putting in and the consequent grade.

Life has been relatively boring. My sex life even more so. My world seems populated by men who are more than happy to have sex with me as much as I want as long as there is minimal effort on their part. I. Just. Want. To be. Seduced. Dare I say it; Christian Grey style. Although I would like to think I would be less insipid than Anastasia. I am also more than happy for him not to be quite so brooding or even that wealthy.

On the plus side I am seeing a Colombian. He is enthusiastic I will give him that. And he gives amazing head. I wish his English was better, or my Spanish. Either or. Maybe I should treat myself to a visit.

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When I Say No….

As a teacher and as a parent I have learned a few things about saying no. The first one is that when you say no you have to mean it. Saying “no” and then changing your mind when everyone protests just sends the message that no doesn’t mean no it means “try a little harder to convince me”.

The second thing I have learned about saying no is that you have to be prepared to back it up with a reason. Having a sound reason usually reduces the amount a student/ child will try to convince you that you really meant yes. Finally, in my experience, the people who try the hardest to change your mind are the ones who have learned from experience with other people that you can change someone’s mind. These students/ children are usually proficient at techniques that trigger an emotional response such as pouting, eye rolling, and making statements like “I was just trying to….”. These students are the hardest to deal with but getting them to see things your way is not impossible.

I posted recently about s conversation I had with a man I have enjoyed as a lover and his inability to u derstand and respect “no”. In my post I outlined my dealings with my ex lover and my very clear no. That, I thought, was that. How wrong I was. I received a couple of messages during the week about “accidental” messages automatically sent from social media apps like Snapchat and then whammo we are talking again. Well he is talking and asking me to video chat with him (he has been working in an extremely remote location over the Christmas Break). Of course I replied no. As I put my phone down I said to it “I am not going to fuck you.”

Of course he didn’t hear that, not that it would make any difference. The problem is even as I was saying the words a small part of me was protesting. He is attractive. He does have sex appeal and there were aspects of fucking him that I enjoyed. A tiny part of me almost believes that idea that it will be different if I give him another chance. Of course the rational part of me has to step in and firmly remind the positive, fantasy me of the frustration and dissapointment that is the most likely outcome if I give in.

Sometimes being the most responsible adult in the room is hard.

TMI Tuesday -Boxing Day Edition

Boxing Day is a public holiday that seems to be unique to Britain, Australia and possibly other parts of the British Commonwealth. The origins of the holiday are a little unclear but The Spruce gives some feasible explanations. In modern times it seems that Australians, and possibly Brits are really just celebrating their love of a public holiday. In Australia Boxing Day is marked by two great sporting traditions; The commencement of the Boxing Day test cricket match held at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) and the commencement of the Sydney to Hobart Yacht race in Sydney Harbour. Both contests are marathon tests of skill and stamina with the Sydney to Hobart being responsible for the loss of more than one life even in recent times. For us mere mortals it is a time to recover from over indulging on Christmas Day or perhaps just a way to extend to celebrations for a little longer. Most people would agree that Boxing Day is much more relaxed and if we do attend a gathering it will most likely be with people we actually like instead of fulfilling family requirements and satisfying obligations. 

Of course there is always time to enjoy some TMI goodness. 

1. Do you celebrate Christmas?

Yes. In the whole go to church, get together with the family and eat too much way. I am a practising Catholic so in some ways I take Christmas a little bit seriously. I know December 25 is not the day of Christ’s birth and I know that many of the Christmas traditions we observe are derived from Paganism but the essence of the day, the birth of a child that will change the world deserves some attention. If you are not a Christian then the idea of putting aside differences and taking time to be with people, somehow, also deserves some attention.

2. Tell us about your Christmas celebration.

In our family there is no specified format for Christmas. This year we, Mr Jones, Myself and our children have traveled to spend a few days with my parents at the Cattle Property in Central Queensland. We started the day with ham and pre birds for breakfast followed by unwrapping of presents. Followed by cold lunch on the verandah with my brother and his wife. The maximum temperature for the day was 37 degrees so the only thing I could have added was a swimming pool.

3. What season is it where you live?

It is most definitely summer with a vengeance. As I said in the previous response the maximum temperature yesterday was 37 degrees. In the morning I spoke with my brother who lives in southern New South Wales and they were experiencing a very chilly morning that required a jumper. My sister in law was adamant that this is not how Christmas should feel. I was reminded of this song.

4. It’s the end of the year, what are you still trying to accomplish before the end of the year?

Not really much. The main thing that is playing on my mind is continuing to reduce my weight and improve my fitness but that is more of a long term lifestyle thing.

5. Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve?

Mr Jones and I will be taking our yacht up the Brisbane River to weigh anchor and watch the fireworks off the Story Bridge. Some vanilla friends and our children will be joking us it should be a great relaxing night. 

 There was no bonus this week but in the spirit of  one of my favourite TMIers Nero Speaks I have added my own 

Bonus:What is on your ‘Fucket List’ for the coming year.

I have updated my Fucket List Page with a couple of items that are on the immediate horizon. I am hoping that The Englishman’s availability improves a little in the new year because he is cute and I have plans for him 😉

I hope you have enjoyed this rather rambling TMI make sure that you check out the other contributors at  TMI Tuesday 

TMI Tuesday – Sexy Specifics 

1. What do you find sexiest in a woman?

I am a bit of a boob fan. If a woman is dressed in such a way that you catch a nice glimpse of her cleavage or a bit of side boob then I am definitely going to be interested. I a less cliched way I am also often taken in by a woman’s mouth. I love full lips and nice teeth. They don’t have to be perfect and I don’t really go for a gap but something about the way her mouth moves makes me want to kiss her. And kissing a woman is very very sexy. 

2. What do you find least sexy in a man?

An interesting question. When I first glanced through these questions I thought i was going to be waxing lyrical about tall well built, preferably bald, bulls but on closer inspection…. 

So unsexiness is definitely mostly linked to personality. A man who needs to “grow a set”, an Australian euphemism that you can read about here, is a massive turn off. The other thing that sends me packing is poor hygiene, body odour, greasy hair and reeking of cigarettes. 

3. Have you ever been the other woman or man? Would you do it again?

I have to a certain extent been in this position a couple of times. Cruising around swingers websites looking for ‘single’ men is kind of asking for trouble. I do not judge anyone for the way they choose to run their relationship. However I choose not to be in a position where I can’t freely message or otherwise contact the person I am fucking. I also choose not to be in a position whereby play dates get cancelled at the last minute because the wife or girlfriend has changed her plans. So to answer the question I would not knowingly become involved as the ‘other woman’. 

4. Who puts more into a romantic relationship you or your significant other?
This is a bit of a loaded question. In general people, male and female, always perceive their effort to be greater than someone else’s in a given situation. Additionally women tend to have different priorities from men in a relationship which means they perceive they are putting in more effort because they don’t notice what the male is doing. 

Having said all that I do feel I put in more effort in that it seems to be my responsibility to make dates happen and make plans for holidays etc. This has been an issue for us but we are working on it and making some progress. 


5. Do you have a “work wife” or “office husband”?

I don’t have one of these, mainly because I have not worked at my current job/profession long enough to have formed such a relationship. Or perhaps it is because I am just damned hard to get along with. I don’t know. 

Mr Jones however does. Funnily enough his work wife is a woman he employed to help him out with his business after we had dated her as a couple for a while. The sex has definitely gone out of the the relationship but the friendship still remains. What I love the most about Mr Jones’ work wife is that she doesn’t put up with any of his crap. Something he definitely needed. 

Bonus: Are you in a healthy relationship? What makes you think so?

I believe my marriage is healthy for several reasons;

  • It is long term. In 2018 Mr Jones and I will celebrate out 20th wedding anniversary
  • It is successful; we are debt free, we have accumulated wealth as a partnership on our own merit.
  • We disagree but we don’t fight; raised voices between Mr Jones and myself are extremely rare. When they happen it is a strong sign for both of us to sit up and pay close attention to the problem. Our children recognise this and correctly interpret a raised voice as a sign that things are not right. 
  • We trust each other; both of us regularly have sex with other partners. There is always open and honest communication around this situation any distrust or jealousy always stems from suspicions about the motivation of the third party. 

Bonus, bonus: Is the “work spouse” strictly a U.S. American anomaly (they do spend an insane amount of hours at work)? One study found 32% of Americans admitted to having a work spouse.

I guess my answer to number 5 shows that the term ‘work wife’ is in common use in Australia as well as the US. I am not sure if that is a sign that ‘work wife’ is truly an international term or if Australians watch too much American television. 

As always for more TMI goodness make sure you hit up the TMI Tuesday website.


TMI Tuesday – Important Questions 

1. If you are on facebook, when was the last time you had to “unfriend” someone and why?

I am notorious for avoiding conflict. So “unfriending” is not something I generally do. When I first read this question I could not think of the last time that I did unfriend someone. However as I was writing I remembered the last time was when Pet and I went our separate ways. It was not an acrimonious ‘break up’ by any stretch. – He decided we were done, I said O.K and that was it. I was a bit bummed by the turn of events but we are grown ups and i decided that pursuing reasons and ‘closure’ was not worth the pain. 

However I did decide that he didn’t need to be part of my Facebook world anymore. So he is no longer on my friends list. 

2. What are you addicted to?

Hard question. I guess it depends on how you define addiction. In terms of a weakness that I find hard to resist it would be shoes. My last pair are my new favourites;


Just for the record, The Fireman quite likes the new shoes as well. 

3. What are the first 3 things you do every morning?

Say good morning to Mr Jones, feed the bird, and get dressed. Not necessarily in that order. Often the bird comes first mainly because he is so loud.


He is partial to breakfast cereal but of course he doesn’t get to share my breakfast every day. 

4. How lucky are you and why?

Extremely lucky. 

  • I have a fantastic husband and kids
  • I live in a fantastic house and in a place with an almost perfect climate.
  • I am lucky enough to have my cake and eat it. 

5. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try?

I am often embarrassed about of lots of things that I do and say. I can’t think of a thing that I have always wanted to try that I am specifically embarrassed about. One of the key things that I often find myself apologising for is wanting to try badass pole moves that involve pain and using an ‘armpit grip’. Things that look like this;


Just for the record that move fucking hurts!!!! But I love it! 
Bonus: Are you proud of what you are doing?

Absolutely yes. I am proud of the way I do my job and I believe that I put in everything for my students and that they benefit from it. I am proud of what I do on my pole. Most of all I am proud of my marriage. Together we have built a great lifestyle and family. We have established complete and habitual honesty which has made our relationship work so well. 

Size Matters


Yes I am going there. In the years I have been blogging I have always been very careful about making such comments as the one above. In my swinging life I have been less careful when in the company of people who either are well endowed or who are pragmatic enough to understand the concept. This post was prompted by some experiences with men of a certain ethnic backgrounds that kind of demonstrated that stereotypes about size and ethnicity are just that, stereotypes and should always be taken with a grain of salt. 

So before the trolls start getting wound up let’s make something very clear. I don’t walk around with a ruler saying to prospective partners “you must be this long to enter”. I am about the whole package. A caring man who gives pleasure is very welcome whatever the size of his appendage. Just as an uncaring man with a donkey sized appendage is not. There is some discussion about length versus width a lot of which has merit. In short there are three variables, length, width and effort; the combination of these three is how it works, not an excess of one factor. Yes I am a mathematics teacher and so I did get a little excited when I saw this graph in Imagur which I feel explains it perfectly 


As the graph shows there are two red zones, “let me get my magnifying glass” and “don’t even think about touching me with that extra arm” of course these zones vary from woman to woman. For me they are significant enough to mean that size definitely matters, just not in every case. 

So the story…..

This one night Mr Jones and I went out it had been a while since we had gone to an adult venue. At the moment we are in a phase in our relationships where we are focussing on each other. For me that means encouraging Mr Jones and boosting his confidence while minimising the attention I get from men, single or otherwise. This is the source of some frustration for me but that is a topic for another post. On this night there was this guy. I am not sure why but he seemed attractive, there was not a lot on offer. Anyway after some conversation the four of us, Mr Jones, me, the guy and Mrs Guy ended up naked. Looking at the graph above he fell well into the red zone on the left. I mean, when he was fully erect I could press my face against his belly and not even feel his cock near the back of my mouth, let alone at the back of my throat. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, I am generous like that. 

Generosity did not pay off. In the effort stakes he sucked. The only redeeming quality of the evening was that Mrs Guy was amazing in a I find you fascinating, sexy and I want to be your friend on a lot of different levels way. A few weeks later we ran into her again. I freaked out when I saw her with a dark skinned man because I assumed it would be the same guy. I was very relieved when it wasn’t. New Dark Skinned Man turned out to be well and truly towards the middle of my graph with very high scores on the effort level. I like New Dark Skinned Man and hope I get to see him again sometime. 

The awkwardness happened when Intriguing Lady turned up in our lives for a third time with Mr Dissapointment. In the light of reality and less randiness he didn’t even seem attractive. Fortunately the situation was a no nakedness situation. So the awkwardness was kept to a minimum. Just for the record I am definitely NOT going there again. The moral of the story; like Caucasians,Asian men vary in size, personality and sexiness. For me, the bulk of them are not that sexy but my experiences have opened my eyes a little. 

The Journey to Now – Another Door Opens 

One of my New Year’s Resolutions, if you want to call it that, is to continue to write the story of our journey. This next chapter introduces the people who will ultimately facilitate my journey from Mrs Jones to Gemma. If you want to catch up on the story so far hop over to the Journey to Now page for the links in order to the relevant posts 


As things wound down with Steve and Jenna we re-visited the big bad world of Internet dating and started looking for other people. During this time we kept visiting CI and exploring the world of swingers clubs. We had some very interesting experiences with various people. We were still very much learners and looking back now probably got into some situations that we may have avoided now. Some of the same old situations raised their heads, both of us don’t have the confidence to strike up conversations with perfect strangers and this made some of our evenings a little unsatisfying. Other issues like an inability to communicate about WHAT we wanted and to be confident about what was OK made it difficult. The old chestnut about playing only as a couple with people we both found attractive was prominent. At the time it hadn’t quite become the massive drag that it was to become later but it still caused some tension from time to time.
We met and chatted briefly to a couple who happened to live quite close to us. They ticked a lot of boxes. After a coffee between Sheree and myself we arranged for her and her husband, Wes, them to come for dinner the following weekend. The evening was a success. Dinner was relaxed, conversation flowed freely. On a friend level we clicked. Once dinner was finished and the dishes were cleared away things got a little awkward. Moving from friendly conversation to sexy fun is always a little odd. Over time we have gotten more used to posing and answering that question but back then it seemed like the elephant in the room. 

I came up with what I thought was a creative solution as I made after dinner coffee I asked Wes if he wanted anything else with his coffee. I thought I was being obvious but apparently not enough. Either that or he was determined not to jump to conclusions. Whatever the reason he replied politely that he was fine thanks. I was a little crestfallen thinking that I had been rejected but Sheree saved the day by not as subtly explaining to her husband his error. 

It turned out that he absolutely did NOT intend to turn me down but in fact the exact opposite. So after a relatively short time we found ourselves getting naked and down to business. The excitement of exploring with new people never seems to wear off but back then it still had that extra edge. It was refreshing to spend time with people who were comfortable being naked and comfortable with their sexuality. Discussing fantasies and things that were out of the ordinary did not seem so weird with these people. In short we felt comfortable and able to be ourselves.

Our idea back then was to find people that we could be friends with and also to fuck. Friends with benefits. It seemed like such a natural progression and our experiences had not given us any reason to think that it could be otherwise. These people lived quite close to us. They seemed like a regular couple until you got them naked and they had a good understanding of the need for decorum when the vanilla people were around. They were also the kind of people we didn’t mind introducing to our children in a vanilla setting. It seemed almost too good to be true. 

Our second meeting was just as sexy. We visited their house where they had set up two mattresses in their lounge room and had hired the movie 9 1/2 weeks. It turned out that the famous scene in the kitchen was one of Sheree’s ultimate fantasies. 

We made it to the food scene before we started exploring our own ideas and each other’s bodies. The movie put us in an experimental mood and I remember playing with ice cubes and other things. Wes thought to put an ice cube on my pussy but my severe reaction which involved me almost kicking him in the head quickly gave him second thoughts. To this day I have not been brace enough to allow anyone else to put ice near my clit. To anyone who may be reading this that is not a challenge.

When I look back and think about some of the things we held as fantasies, they seem so simple. In some ways I wish that we still were naive like that. Now sometimes the simple leasureable things get lost in concerns about how the other person might react and I don’t just mean Mr Jones. We were like a blank page waiting to have something drawn on us. It didn’t matter what was drawn. Back then I was very concerned with being attractive to other people. The idea of being choosy was something I understood but I didn’t practise. I didn’t have the confidence in myself. Being with Wes changed some of that. He was attentive and always seemed to say the right thing and fucking him felt amazing. Something about his cock felt so good inside me. Bing with him gave me more confidence in my own appeal and sexiness. I didn’t realise it at the time but these encounters were sowing the seeds that would grow into Gemma the sex goddess. 

One Door Closes 


Our relationship with Kurt and Renee was fairly sporadic. They lived in a completely different town from us and visited the “Big Smoke” occasionally. Our nights with them when they were planned were always preceded with great excitement and anticipation. Just prior to starting our “Journey down the Rabbit hole” I had discovered the murky world of Internet chatting and apps on Facebook that hooked up random people interested in some kind of less than platonic relationships. 
I was essentially a stay at home parent during this time meaning I had plenty of time on my hands to spend chatting. Some of that time was spent with Steve and occasionally Kurt. Steve was an enthusiastic participant in online flirting and it was definitely a great ego boost to be told how attractive I was. 

It is a strange thing now that I look back but in those days my standards were relatively relaxed. I was more concerned with being attractive to other people than I was with how attractive they were to me. The idea of being picky and having a bucket list was completely alien to me. I was perfectly happy to experience someone different and be reassured that I was attractive to them. Around that time I sometimes mucked around on Facebook app called ‘Tagged’ which was a bit like the modern day Tinder. As an extension of that I started chatting with some guys on MSN. Most of these guys were people who I would never consider meeting with then or now. Oddly enough most of them never really suggested a face to face meeting. 
Steve had a rostered day off once every fortnight and so I spent a bit of time chatting with him. We talked about a lot of stuff some sexy some more mundane and every day. We became more like friends that got together and fucked. Both Mr Jones and I were not unhappy with this situation. We are not very socially skilled people and our circle of friends is quite small. So any additions are always welcomed. 
Over the course of time we met several more times with Steve and Jenna. It also became apparent that Steve was more enthusiastic about these encounters than Jenna. At that time in her life Jenna was not happy in general. She was very unsatisfied in her job and was struggling with her home life. In short she was exhausted and just didn’t have the energy for swinging. Unlike Steve it was less of a priority for her.
On one occasion we visited them to help them move house. We had arranged to spend the night and as we were heading to bed Steve raised the possibility of a play. Jenna made it very clear that Se was not interested but stopped short of forbidding Steve from participating. Mr Jones and I were not interested in getting involved in one of those messy situations where one partner says everything is fine when it clearly is not and so we made excuses and retreated. 
We met as a foursome a couple of times after that but often it was complicated to organise dates. Steve would be keen and suggest a couple of dates and then when I messaged to confirm them Jenna would act like they hadn’t been planned and they had made other plans. Once this had happened we decided that it was time to move on. Things were finally settled when a date had been planned with both of them and a few days before hand Jenna reneged on the deal stating that she had not agreed in the first place. During the conversation I was given the very strong impression that she felt that Steve was bulldozing her into swinging when all she really wanted to do was hang out at nudist retreats and nude beaches. 
Even now much further into our journey I have yet to visit a nude beach. I know from talking to many swingers both in person and on line that nude beaches can be great places to have some sexy fun but I also know that some nudists are very careful not to advertise this. They want to keep some aspect of respectability to their lifestyle. Nude beaches don’t hold a lot of attraction for me. Nudity on yachts and other outdoor places is ok. Nudity on an isolated beach also ok. Going to specified nude beaches just doesn’t hold an attraction for me. In the case of Jenna and Steve I feel that they were nudists first and dabbled in swinging as an experiment. Jenna enjoyed it for a while but she is predominantly a nudist. The swinging is the icing on the cake. 
After a couple of cancelled dates Steve realised that he needed to get his marriage in order and he and Jenna revisited their roots at some nudist resorts. This seemed to sort stuff out for them but she was still not interested in play. Steve invited us to join them at a nudist resort for the weekend but I explained to him that I was a swinger not a nudist and that was really the end of things for us. Like most things in life it was a great learning experience. So we chalked it up to experience, Mr Jones ticked some things of his sexual fantasy list and we moved on. 

Internet Dating 


This is the next chapter in our journey after meeting Kurt and Renee for a second time we ventured in to the world of internet dating. 

Over time and with a few false starts we eventually located a couple through the Internet who seemed to tick all of our boxes. After a couple of online chats and phone calls we arranged to meet. By this time we had met up with Kurt and Renee again with a similar sex marathon evening, sending us home smiling and on a sex fuelled high. Our positive experiences had given us some confidence that things would work out. 

I hadn’t really taken much time to think about exactly what we were looking for. We were like children, wide eyed in awe at this strange new world that we had stumbled into. Neither of us had any experience with the world of Internet dating. So we were a little un-prepared for the reality of appearance on screen versus appearance in real life. 

The evening we had arranged to meet dawned and we found ourselves on the couch at the house of our new friends. It seemed both surreal and strangely matter of fact at the exact same time. The people were quite different from Kurt and Renee much more salt of the earth. Jenna was much more reserved than Renee and it took a while for things to get started. 

At the time we assumed that everyone we met was going to take the lead because we were such complete newbies. Now, with some experience under out belt we realise that this is not always the case. Another thing that we came to realise with the wisdom of hindsight was that confidence does not always equal experience. Our assumption that everyone we met knew exactly what they were on about was completely unfounded and mostly incorrect. 

Eventually we fumbled our way around and ended up naked together. It wasn’t the highly charged sexual encounter that we had experienced with Kurt and Renee but it was deeply satisfying. These were people we had much more in common with and could have a more interpersonal relationship with. An example of how comfortable I felt was my ability to give instructions once we were naked. Following round one Jenna and I were enjoying some girl on girl exploration. Having satisfied themselves, for the time being at least, Mr Jones and Steve were sitting on the end of the bed. I think they started out watching the show but we must have been a little too run of the mill for them because they started chatting about tractors, of all things. 

I was a little annoyed at their nonchalance and the very unsexy talk and so they were dispatched to the kitchen. I know that there are probably many men reading this right now thinking “What the Fuck??? How can two red blooded men not be transfixed by the sight of two women enjoying each other?” All I can say is not everyone is turned on by the same things and once you have seen something a few times it tends to lose its appeal. Mr Jones and Steve are both men of action. Happy to watch for a while but need to be part of the action at some point. 

These exploration sessions with Jenna satisfied my bisexual curiosities quite deeply. I learned a lot about how to please a woman and developed my appreciation for pleasuring women. It wasn’t always that Mr Jones and Steve in particular had to be banished to the kitchen when Jenna and I were playing. Mr Jones always stayed true to form, he had to be involved in the action at some point, Steve did sometimes enjoy sitting in a chair in the corner of the room masturbating to sight of his live porn. 

I think that this was one of the catalysts for my present day attitude about girl on girl sex and voyeurs in particular. I am an exhibitionist and love people watching but I do not perform tricks on request. My sexual activities are for my pleasure. It you want to watch and this is gives you enjoyment all the better but the essence is always the same, my exploration for my pleasure. If I was to get all hard core feminist I would say that the idea that men have that they can request or demand women to perform for them stems from the habit of being able to choose porn videos to suit them. Other women are obviously more compliant than me. Maybe that was a sign of things to come. 

TMI Tuesday -Sex is Life 



1. Have you ever tested someone’s love for you? What did you do? Did things turn out as you expected or hoped?

I don’t really believe in playing games with relationships so the idea of testing someone’s love is foreign to me. Having said that I have been married for 18 years and of course there have been many times when you would say that my relationship has been tested. We are still together so I guess you can say that things have turned out well.


2. Select the answer that best fits your experience. I have dated:

a. all the wrong people

b. romantic companions that were mostly a good fit for me.

c. people that were perfect fits–loves at first sight

d. not all that much, I mainly have had a lot of long term relationships

As I stated in question one I have been married for 18 years but prior to that I was mostly d. I didn’t really date all that much. Since we opened our marraige I have dated a lot but not in the traditional sense. The results of this dating are splashed all over this and my Erotic Adventures blog. I will leave you to do the research and make your own conclusion

3. Online dating: What is your success rate? What do you consider success?

So as I already said I date, primarily from online sources. Of course the motivation for this dating is not to find a relationship in the traditional sense. I am seeking sexual adventure and experiences that most people fantasise about, if they are brave enough. In terms of success it has been very hit and miss. I have written about both of these. I have been fortunate to have some extraordinary adventures but they have not been something that comes along every day. You really have to sort through a lot of rubble to find the gems. 


4. What sexual thing do you do most often that you could commit to doing everyday?

A realist will be very aware of the fact that doing something every day is a great way to make it a chore. Experience tells me that making anything sexual a chore is a good way to cause problems in your marraige, so sorry to be a party pooper but I am not going to entertain the idea of doing anything sexual every day.

5. What are your thoughts on love and lust?

There is definitely a difference between a lust based relationship and a love based relationship. The line when a relationship crosses from one realm into another is very, very blurry and differs from person to person and situation to situation. There is absolutely no way that real love resembles in any way the saccharine sweet Disney version of love that we are sold as children. In my experience real love is practical, it has lots of lumps and bumps and does not come in one size fits all. 

Lust is hot intense and rears its head in all sorts of situations. It is definitely a roller coaster ride and like all roller coasters great for a holiday treat but not something you necessarily want in your life every day.


Bonus: Are you searching for love or are you searching for attention?

I believe I have already found love with all of its imperfections, practicalities and pragmatism. I have built a partnership over 18 years that has raised children, built a comfortable life and sustained ourselves and a number of friends through some interesting times. I am searching now for the roller coaster ride. Maybe I have become a bit of a junkie or maybe a connoisseur but as I have said many times I am a goddess and, yes, it is all about me. 
As always make sure you head in over to the TMI Tuesday site for more TMI goodness.