1. If you are on facebook, when was the last time you had to “unfriend” someone and why?
I am notorious for avoiding conflict. So “unfriending” is not something I generally do. When I first read this question I could not think of the last time that I did unfriend someone. However as I was writing I remembered the last time was when Pet and I went our separate ways. It was not an acrimonious ‘break up’ by any stretch. – He decided we were done, I said O.K and that was it. I was a bit bummed by the turn of events but we are grown ups and i decided that pursuing reasons and ‘closure’ was not worth the pain.
However I did decide that he didn’t need to be part of my Facebook world anymore. So he is no longer on my friends list.
2. What are you addicted to?
Hard question. I guess it depends on how you define addiction. In terms of a weakness that I find hard to resist it would be shoes. My last pair are my new favourites;
3. What are the first 3 things you do every morning?
Say good morning to Mr Jones, feed the bird, and get dressed. Not necessarily in that order. Often the bird comes first mainly because he is so loud.
4. How lucky are you and why?
- I have a fantastic husband and kids
- I live in a fantastic house and in a place with an almost perfect climate.
- I am lucky enough to have my cake and eat it.
5. What is one thing you’re embarrassed to admit you want to try?
I am often embarrassed about of lots of things that I do and say. I can’t think of a thing that I have always wanted to try that I am specifically embarrassed about. One of the key things that I often find myself apologising for is wanting to try badass pole moves that involve pain and using an ‘armpit grip’. Things that look like this;
Absolutely yes. I am proud of the way I do my job and I believe that I put in everything for my students and that they benefit from it. I am proud of what I do on my pole. Most of all I am proud of my marriage. Together we have built a great lifestyle and family. We have established complete and habitual honesty which has made our relationship work so well.
Yes I am going there. In the years I have been blogging I have always been very careful about making such comments as the one above. In my swinging life I have been less careful when in the company of people who either are well endowed or who are pragmatic enough to understand the concept. This post was prompted by some experiences with men of a certain ethnic backgrounds that kind of demonstrated that stereotypes about size and ethnicity are just that, stereotypes and should always be taken with a grain of salt.
So before the trolls start getting wound up let’s make something very clear. I don’t walk around with a ruler saying to prospective partners “you must be this long to enter”. I am about the whole package. A caring man who gives pleasure is very welcome whatever the size of his appendage. Just as an uncaring man with a donkey sized appendage is not. There is some discussion about length versus width a lot of which has merit. In short there are three variables, length, width and effort; the combination of these three is how it works, not an excess of one factor. Yes I am a mathematics teacher and so I did get a little excited when I saw this graph in Imagur which I feel explains it perfectly
As the graph shows there are two red zones, “let me get my magnifying glass” and “don’t even think about touching me with that extra arm” of course these zones vary from woman to woman. For me they are significant enough to mean that size definitely matters, just not in every case.
So the story…..
This one night Mr Jones and I went out it had been a while since we had gone to an adult venue. At the moment we are in a phase in our relationships where we are focussing on each other. For me that means encouraging Mr Jones and boosting his confidence while minimising the attention I get from men, single or otherwise. This is the source of some frustration for me but that is a topic for another post. On this night there was this guy. I am not sure why but he seemed attractive, there was not a lot on offer. Anyway after some conversation the four of us, Mr Jones, me, the guy and Mrs Guy ended up naked. Looking at the graph above he fell well into the red zone on the left. I mean, when he was fully erect I could press my face against his belly and not even feel his cock near the back of my mouth, let alone at the back of my throat. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, I am generous like that.
Generosity did not pay off. In the effort stakes he sucked. The only redeeming quality of the evening was that Mrs Guy was amazing in a I find you fascinating, sexy and I want to be your friend on a lot of different levels way. A few weeks later we ran into her again. I freaked out when I saw her with a dark skinned man because I assumed it would be the same guy. I was very relieved when it wasn’t. New Dark Skinned Man turned out to be well and truly towards the middle of my graph with very high scores on the effort level. I like New Dark Skinned Man and hope I get to see him again sometime.
The awkwardness happened when Intriguing Lady turned up in our lives for a third time with Mr Dissapointment. In the light of reality and less randiness he didn’t even seem attractive. Fortunately the situation was a no nakedness situation. So the awkwardness was kept to a minimum. Just for the record I am definitely NOT going there again. The moral of the story; like Caucasians,Asian men vary in size, personality and sexiness. For me, the bulk of them are not that sexy but my experiences have opened my eyes a little.
One of my New Year’s Resolutions, if you want to call it that, is to continue to write the story of our journey. This next chapter introduces the people who will ultimately facilitate my journey from Mrs Jones to Gemma. If you want to catch up on the story so far hop over to the Journey to Now page for the links in order to the relevant posts
As things wound down with Steve and Jenna we re-visited the big bad world of Internet dating and started looking for other people. During this time we kept visiting CI and exploring the world of swingers clubs. We had some very interesting experiences with various people. We were still very much learners and looking back now probably got into some situations that we may have avoided now. Some of the same old situations raised their heads, both of us don’t have the confidence to strike up conversations with perfect strangers and this made some of our evenings a little unsatisfying. Other issues like an inability to communicate about WHAT we wanted and to be confident about what was OK made it difficult. The old chestnut about playing only as a couple with people we both found attractive was prominent. At the time it hadn’t quite become the massive drag that it was to become later but it still caused some tension from time to time.
We met and chatted briefly to a couple who happened to live quite close to us. They ticked a lot of boxes. After a coffee between Sheree and myself we arranged for her and her husband, Wes, them to come for dinner the following weekend. The evening was a success. Dinner was relaxed, conversation flowed freely. On a friend level we clicked. Once dinner was finished and the dishes were cleared away things got a little awkward. Moving from friendly conversation to sexy fun is always a little odd. Over time we have gotten more used to posing and answering that question but back then it seemed like the elephant in the room.
I came up with what I thought was a creative solution as I made after dinner coffee I asked Wes if he wanted anything else with his coffee. I thought I was being obvious but apparently not enough. Either that or he was determined not to jump to conclusions. Whatever the reason he replied politely that he was fine thanks. I was a little crestfallen thinking that I had been rejected but Sheree saved the day by not as subtly explaining to her husband his error.
It turned out that he absolutely did NOT intend to turn me down but in fact the exact opposite. So after a relatively short time we found ourselves getting naked and down to business. The excitement of exploring with new people never seems to wear off but back then it still had that extra edge. It was refreshing to spend time with people who were comfortable being naked and comfortable with their sexuality. Discussing fantasies and things that were out of the ordinary did not seem so weird with these people. In short we felt comfortable and able to be ourselves.
Our idea back then was to find people that we could be friends with and also to fuck. Friends with benefits. It seemed like such a natural progression and our experiences had not given us any reason to think that it could be otherwise. These people lived quite close to us. They seemed like a regular couple until you got them naked and they had a good understanding of the need for decorum when the vanilla people were around. They were also the kind of people we didn’t mind introducing to our children in a vanilla setting. It seemed almost too good to be true.
Our second meeting was just as sexy. We visited their house where they had set up two mattresses in their lounge room and had hired the movie 9 1/2 weeks. It turned out that the famous scene in the kitchen was one of Sheree’s ultimate fantasies.
We made it to the food scene before we started exploring our own ideas and each other’s bodies. The movie put us in an experimental mood and I remember playing with ice cubes and other things. Wes thought to put an ice cube on my pussy but my severe reaction which involved me almost kicking him in the head quickly gave him second thoughts. To this day I have not been brace enough to allow anyone else to put ice near my clit. To anyone who may be reading this that is not a challenge.
When I look back and think about some of the things we held as fantasies, they seem so simple. In some ways I wish that we still were naive like that. Now sometimes the simple leasureable things get lost in concerns about how the other person might react and I don’t just mean Mr Jones. We were like a blank page waiting to have something drawn on us. It didn’t matter what was drawn. Back then I was very concerned with being attractive to other people. The idea of being choosy was something I understood but I didn’t practise. I didn’t have the confidence in myself. Being with Wes changed some of that. He was attentive and always seemed to say the right thing and fucking him felt amazing. Something about his cock felt so good inside me. Bing with him gave me more confidence in my own appeal and sexiness. I didn’t realise it at the time but these encounters were sowing the seeds that would grow into Gemma the sex goddess.
Our relationship with Kurt and Renee was fairly sporadic. They lived in a completely different town from us and visited the “Big Smoke” occasionally. Our nights with them when they were planned were always preceded with great excitement and anticipation. Just prior to starting our “Journey down the Rabbit hole” I had discovered the murky world of Internet chatting and apps on Facebook that hooked up random people interested in some kind of less than platonic relationships.
I was essentially a stay at home parent during this time meaning I had plenty of time on my hands to spend chatting. Some of that time was spent with Steve and occasionally Kurt. Steve was an enthusiastic participant in online flirting and it was definitely a great ego boost to be told how attractive I was.
It is a strange thing now that I look back but in those days my standards were relatively relaxed. I was more concerned with being attractive to other people than I was with how attractive they were to me. The idea of being picky and having a bucket list was completely alien to me. I was perfectly happy to experience someone different and be reassured that I was attractive to them. Around that time I sometimes mucked around on Facebook app called ‘Tagged’ which was a bit like the modern day Tinder. As an extension of that I started chatting with some guys on MSN. Most of these guys were people who I would never consider meeting with then or now. Oddly enough most of them never really suggested a face to face meeting.
Steve had a rostered day off once every fortnight and so I spent a bit of time chatting with him. We talked about a lot of stuff some sexy some more mundane and every day. We became more like friends that got together and fucked. Both Mr Jones and I were not unhappy with this situation. We are not very socially skilled people and our circle of friends is quite small. So any additions are always welcomed.
Over the course of time we met several more times with Steve and Jenna. It also became apparent that Steve was more enthusiastic about these encounters than Jenna. At that time in her life Jenna was not happy in general. She was very unsatisfied in her job and was struggling with her home life. In short she was exhausted and just didn’t have the energy for swinging. Unlike Steve it was less of a priority for her.
On one occasion we visited them to help them move house. We had arranged to spend the night and as we were heading to bed Steve raised the possibility of a play. Jenna made it very clear that Se was not interested but stopped short of forbidding Steve from participating. Mr Jones and I were not interested in getting involved in one of those messy situations where one partner says everything is fine when it clearly is not and so we made excuses and retreated.
We met as a foursome a couple of times after that but often it was complicated to organise dates. Steve would be keen and suggest a couple of dates and then when I messaged to confirm them Jenna would act like they hadn’t been planned and they had made other plans. Once this had happened we decided that it was time to move on. Things were finally settled when a date had been planned with both of them and a few days before hand Jenna reneged on the deal stating that she had not agreed in the first place. During the conversation I was given the very strong impression that she felt that Steve was bulldozing her into swinging when all she really wanted to do was hang out at nudist retreats and nude beaches.
Even now much further into our journey I have yet to visit a nude beach. I know from talking to many swingers both in person and on line that nude beaches can be great places to have some sexy fun but I also know that some nudists are very careful not to advertise this. They want to keep some aspect of respectability to their lifestyle. Nude beaches don’t hold a lot of attraction for me. Nudity on yachts and other outdoor places is ok. Nudity on an isolated beach also ok. Going to specified nude beaches just doesn’t hold an attraction for me. In the case of Jenna and Steve I feel that they were nudists first and dabbled in swinging as an experiment. Jenna enjoyed it for a while but she is predominantly a nudist. The swinging is the icing on the cake.
After a couple of cancelled dates Steve realised that he needed to get his marriage in order and he and Jenna revisited their roots at some nudist resorts. This seemed to sort stuff out for them but she was still not interested in play. Steve invited us to join them at a nudist resort for the weekend but I explained to him that I was a swinger not a nudist and that was really the end of things for us. Like most things in life it was a great learning experience. So we chalked it up to experience, Mr Jones ticked some things of his sexual fantasy list and we moved on.
Over time and with a few false starts we eventually located a couple through the Internet who seemed to tick all of our boxes. After a couple of online chats and phone calls we arranged to meet. By this time we had met up with Kurt and Renee again with a similar sex marathon evening, sending us home smiling and on a sex fuelled high. Our positive experiences had given us some confidence that things would work out.
I hadn’t really taken much time to think about exactly what we were looking for. We were like children, wide eyed in awe at this strange new world that we had stumbled into. Neither of us had any experience with the world of Internet dating. So we were a little un-prepared for the reality of appearance on screen versus appearance in real life.
The evening we had arranged to meet dawned and we found ourselves on the couch at the house of our new friends. It seemed both surreal and strangely matter of fact at the exact same time. The people were quite different from Kurt and Renee much more salt of the earth. Jenna was much more reserved than Renee and it took a while for things to get started.
At the time we assumed that everyone we met was going to take the lead because we were such complete newbies. Now, with some experience under out belt we realise that this is not always the case. Another thing that we came to realise with the wisdom of hindsight was that confidence does not always equal experience. Our assumption that everyone we met knew exactly what they were on about was completely unfounded and mostly incorrect.
Eventually we fumbled our way around and ended up naked together. It wasn’t the highly charged sexual encounter that we had experienced with Kurt and Renee but it was deeply satisfying. These were people we had much more in common with and could have a more interpersonal relationship with. An example of how comfortable I felt was my ability to give instructions once we were naked. Following round one Jenna and I were enjoying some girl on girl exploration. Having satisfied themselves, for the time being at least, Mr Jones and Steve were sitting on the end of the bed. I think they started out watching the show but we must have been a little too run of the mill for them because they started chatting about tractors, of all things.
I was a little annoyed at their nonchalance and the very unsexy talk and so they were dispatched to the kitchen. I know that there are probably many men reading this right now thinking “What the Fuck??? How can two red blooded men not be transfixed by the sight of two women enjoying each other?” All I can say is not everyone is turned on by the same things and once you have seen something a few times it tends to lose its appeal. Mr Jones and Steve are both men of action. Happy to watch for a while but need to be part of the action at some point.
These exploration sessions with Jenna satisfied my bisexual curiosities quite deeply. I learned a lot about how to please a woman and developed my appreciation for pleasuring women. It wasn’t always that Mr Jones and Steve in particular had to be banished to the kitchen when Jenna and I were playing. Mr Jones always stayed true to form, he had to be involved in the action at some point, Steve did sometimes enjoy sitting in a chair in the corner of the room masturbating to sight of his live porn.
I think that this was one of the catalysts for my present day attitude about girl on girl sex and voyeurs in particular. I am an exhibitionist and love people watching but I do not perform tricks on request. My sexual activities are for my pleasure. It you want to watch and this is gives you enjoyment all the better but the essence is always the same, my exploration for my pleasure. If I was to get all hard core feminist I would say that the idea that men have that they can request or demand women to perform for them stems from the habit of being able to choose porn videos to suit them. Other women are obviously more compliant than me. Maybe that was a sign of things to come.
I don’t really believe in playing games with relationships so the idea of testing someone’s love is foreign to me. Having said that I have been married for 18 years and of course there have been many times when you would say that my relationship has been tested. We are still together so I guess you can say that things have turned out well.
2. Select the answer that best fits your experience. I have dated:
a. all the wrong people
b. romantic companions that were mostly a good fit for me.
c. people that were perfect fits–loves at first sight
d. not all that much, I mainly have had a lot of long term relationships
As I stated in question one I have been married for 18 years but prior to that I was mostly d. I didn’t really date all that much. Since we opened our marraige I have dated a lot but not in the traditional sense. The results of this dating are splashed all over this and my Erotic Adventures blog. I will leave you to do the research and make your own conclusion
3. Online dating: What is your success rate? What do you consider success?
So as I already said I date, primarily from online sources. Of course the motivation for this dating is not to find a relationship in the traditional sense. I am seeking sexual adventure and experiences that most people fantasise about, if they are brave enough. In terms of success it has been very hit and miss. I have written about both of these. I have been fortunate to have some extraordinary adventures but they have not been something that comes along every day. You really have to sort through a lot of rubble to find the gems.
4. What sexual thing do you do most often that you could commit to doing everyday?
A realist will be very aware of the fact that doing something every day is a great way to make it a chore. Experience tells me that making anything sexual a chore is a good way to cause problems in your marraige, so sorry to be a party pooper but I am not going to entertain the idea of doing anything sexual every day.
5. What are your thoughts on love and lust?
There is definitely a difference between a lust based relationship and a love based relationship. The line when a relationship crosses from one realm into another is very, very blurry and differs from person to person and situation to situation. There is absolutely no way that real love resembles in any way the saccharine sweet Disney version of love that we are sold as children. In my experience real love is practical, it has lots of lumps and bumps and does not come in one size fits all.
Lust is hot intense and rears its head in all sorts of situations. It is definitely a roller coaster ride and like all roller coasters great for a holiday treat but not something you necessarily want in your life every day.
Bonus: Are you searching for love or are you searching for attention?
I believe I have already found love with all of its imperfections, practicalities and pragmatism. I have built a partnership over 18 years that has raised children, built a comfortable life and sustained ourselves and a number of friends through some interesting times. I am searching now for the roller coaster ride. Maybe I have become a bit of a junkie or maybe a connoisseur but as I have said many times I am a goddess and, yes, it is all about me.
As always make sure you head in over to the TMI Tuesday site for more TMI goodness.
Finally after what seems like an eternity of assignment drafts, exams and assignments my life has calmed down for a couple of weeks. It means I get some time to put some of those random thoughts on to the screen. So today the story of our journey down the rabbit hole continues ……
Following our magical night with Kurt and Renee we were high. For Mr Jones it was a confirmation that his fantasies could come true. For me it was like opening a door into an alternate universe that I had never even dared to imagine could exist. Fucking Kurt ticked a lot of boxes I never realised I had. As I said in my last post he was a big man with a big appetite. I loved the feeling of being lifted off the ground by someone so big and powerful. It was not something that had happened to me often. Something else I loved was the feeling of his orgasm when he was fucking me. Up until that time the feeling of Mr Jones cumming inside me was often enough to tip me over the edge. I hadn’t realised I would experience the same thing with other men.
Sadly our new special friends did not come from Brisbane. It was their habit to fly to Brisbane from the regional centre where they lived every six weeks or so to live it up away from their relatively small community where discovery of their alternative relationship choice could become a little problematic. We had exchanged phone numbers and promised to keep in touch to arrange a meeting the next time they were in town. Now that we had experienced some success we were very keen to explore some more and meet some other “like minded couples” to see what other fun could be had.
Kurt had introduced us to the concept of online adult dating communities and so in the weeks that followed we investigated further and set up a profile in relatively well known community. Like everything else about this world it was a revelation to both of us. In my mind Internet dating was for desperate people who didn’t have the social skills to go out and meet real people living real lives. The idea of hooking up with someone from the Internet for casual sex was something that I would never have conceived.
Like regular dating this kind of Internet dating revolves around a profile featuring photos, a list of features required by the website that include things like smoking or non smoking, cock size, breast size body shape etc. Then there is a section where you write in your own words a description of yourself and a short description of what you are looking for.
Completing the categories was relatively simple. Even deciding on cock size didn’t create much friction although a lack of experience with comparison to other cocks made it difficult to decide if he was thick or average. I am here to tell you, after much experience with material to compare with, he is thick but back then he lacked the confidence to believe that he was above average in anything. The section that caused the problems was the description of ourselves. Mr Jones was absolutely not prepared to compromise on complete fairness. By this I mean that he didn’t want me, the person he viewed as more outgoing and perhaps more likely to be successful, getting more air time that him. That meant that there couldn’t be more words about me than him and we both had to come across as equally attractive and exciting. It is difficult to achieve this when one person is doing the writing and the whole process caused a little friction between us and prompted some discussion about what we were and weren’t looking for.
These days this kind of thing is not really an issue but back then neither of us had learned fully how to express our ideas and feelings and so, as with many people things often went unsaid. In the end we managed to get together a profile that everyone was happy with. One of the upsides of the whole process was that we had an excuse to get involved with an activity that Mr Jones had liked for a long while, taking naughty pictures of each other. Fortunately at that time our children were still relatively young and went to bed at a sensible hour and so we could spend the occasional Saturday night undressing and experimenting with various poses and outfits sometimes resulting in spectacular failure and sometimes resulting in spectacular success.
As new members of the website we spent a lot of time online looking at other prospective partners and also reviewing messages. Many more experienced couples were very interested in “New Meat” so to speak and so we were approached by a lot of people. We quickly came to realise that our idea of sexy and other people’s idea of sexy was often quite different. We had been relatively conservative in our choice of photos for our public profile showing our bodies partially undressed with no face pictures and no direct photos of genitals.
Other people were not so discreet and often we clicked on a profile to be greeted with a fully erect cock or a nicely spread pussy. Not to say they were always unattractive just not the first angle of someone that we wanted to look at. Some of the photos were good representations of their owner in the sense that they made you say, “What the???????”
Over the next few weeks we chatted to quite a few different people. Some of them interesting, some of them a little bland and others that made us want to switch the computer off the second we clicked on the profile. People, it seems, can be even more inappropriate on the Internet than they are in real life.
Originally I started writing this blog to share the story of how Mr Jones and I got to where we are today. Somehow life happened and I got distracted but recently my thoughts have returned to that journey so you guys get to benefit from that. If you are new to these pages you can visit “The Journey to Here” to read through the posts that make up this story.
The swing scene is full of couples looking for a unicorn, a single female who wants to play with a couple. They are commonly referred to as unicorns because for many people they are impossible to find. They do exist but they are incredibly choosy about their partners. Fortunately for Mr Jones and myself we started out looking for a couple and were saved all of that frustration.
After our first experience we had quite a few discussions centring around fairness and opportunities. Mr Jones was adamant that our encounters be ‘equal opportunity’. For my part I was feeling constrained. I was like a child in a lolly shop wanting to taste and enjoy everything that I possibly could with reckless abandon. Mr Jones was like the stern adult worrying about the potential for cavities and upset stomachs. His shyness and lack of confidence about his age, his greying hair, his abilities and his general attractiveness made him reluctant to talk to people. On top of that he was relatively fussy. He explained many times to me; “I have you, why would I settle for less?”
It is the ultimate compliment but at the time, like the child in the lolly shop, all I could see was the stick in the mud adult putting restraint on all the fun.
As luck would have it on our third visit to CI, as it was affectionately known, we met a couple, Kurt and Renee, that we both found attractive. Driven by our recent conversations and also a desire to make my husband happy I paid scant attention to how I was feeling about Kurt and focussed on wether or not Mr Jones would find the Renee attractive. I really had no idea of what he was looking for other than he didn’t like women he considered fat. I am not going to go into the politics of body shape acceptance here just to say that if you are going to have sex with someone they need to be attractive. If larger than average is a turn off then that is how it is.
Despite my hesitations we found ourselves in a room with a closed door. We had been quite open about our lack of experience and they were extremely sensitive to our level of comfort. Both of them kept asking questions like; “Do you have a rule about kissing?”, “Do you do a full swap?” And so on and so forth. We felt like we were being bombarded, besides which, due to our lack of experience, we didn’t know the answers to a lot of their questions.
In the end I halted the barrage by saying “Let’s just agree that if we don’t like something you do we will let you know OK?”. At the time We assumed that these guys were relatively experienced. It wasn’t until much later that a few things happened that made me wonder if this assumption had been incorrect. It didn’t stop us from having fun then and it ultimately made no difference to how things played out. It just amuses me to reflect on people and what makes them tick.
After we agreed on my proposal everything went full steam ahead. There was kissing, licking, sucking of cocks and nudity. Unlike our first encounter it was more about exploring and trying different things than getting naked and jumping straight into fucking. Mr Jones in particular ticked some fantasy boxes both getting to witness his wife exploring another woman and also enjoying the feeling of fucking two women who were lying on top of each other.
Sadly the popularity of the club meant that there was a limit on the amount of time a group could spend in a private room. We found ourselves dressing and returning to the bar with a feeling of only just beginning our adventure. There was a few moments of awkwardness and Kurt and Renee drew aside for a private whispered conversation. We were a little unsure of how to act and politely waited to see what would happen next. We were surprised and very pleased when they returned and Kurt curled his arm around me while he invited both of us to join them in their hotel.
The whole night turned into a sex marathon that I had never even dreamed about. It seemed like erections would never go down, there would never be a time when any of us wanted to roll over and go to sleep and there were endless possibilities to explore. Mr Jones ticked several items off his Fucket list that night and for the first time since we had embarked on our adventure I didn’t feel restrained. Up until that time if you had asked me what my ideal man looked like I would have responded with slim, relatively hairless, tall with a nice ass. Kurt was nothing like this description apart from the tall aspect. He was a large man, not overweight exactly but definitely solid. I was completely entranced by his ability to engulf me both sexually and physically.
For his part Mr Jones found Renee enticing and very very sexy. She was indeed rounder than he would normally have liked but her body was firm and toned. He learned a lesson on looking past first impressions. He also learned about the appeal of shoes. Renee loved her shoes and insisted on wearing a particular pair of six inch Pleasers while having sex. Up until that point shoes had not been something he had ever considered. Renee changed that attitude for ever more, much to my satisfaction.
By the time we left their hotel and drove home the first rays of sunlight were beginning to show over the horizon. We felt like teenagers sneaking home well after curfew full of excitement with what we had just done. This was what we had been looking for. We felt affirmed this was definitely the right choice for us. We had found a place where we fitted in.
A couple of years ago I was essentially a stay at home Mum. My time was my own and there was no real demands on my time. Nor were there any real consequences to be feared from people finding out about my alternative marriage arrangements. The only aspect of my life that conflicted with my marriage choice was a parent at my children’s Catholic primary school discovering my secret and using it against them in some way. Even that issue was not particularly concerning to me. At that time in my life I believed that the path to more people accepting non-monogamy was more non-monogamous people being more open about their lifestyle.
Four years ago I started a teaching degree which I completed and in due course I commenced working as a teacher. It turned out that being Gemma took up an awful lot of time. Time that I suddenly found I didn’t have. Consequently my Erotic Adventures became fewer and further between. I found myself regressing into the person I was before Gemma came along. My sex life found itself squeezed into the tiny cracks in time that came along very infrequently. Getting into the headspace where I could truly let myself go and live in the sexual moment has become incredibly difficult.
Along with the lack of opportunity my desire to even consider being Gemma has become very sporadic. It’s a kind of chicken and egg thing really. Does the lack of opportunity create less Gemma or does the smaller amount of Gemma headspace mean I don’t create opportunity? Either way the effect is the same, a lot of work and not much playing.
I have been down this road before. At a time when I have two small children and was hell bent on being a throughly modern woman who had a career and still manage be a perfect mother. I refused to ask for help then and my marriage went almost to breaking point. I am afraid of the same thing happening again even though I know the warning signs.
Even though I have journeyed through something like this and made it out the other side I still worry that I won’t be able to avoid falling into the same trap. And if I do fall into that trap I won’t be able to get out a second time. Or even better avoid the trap altogether,
It is a challenge. A lot of days I think keeping Gemma alive is not worth the effort. I think I would have a quieter life if I just let her die her death. Writing this post I have realised that her existence is important. I have to find a way to keep her alive both in my mind and in reality. I have to find a way to open up more time and headspace for her. The consequences of not finding that space are not worth considering.
All work and no play make Mrs Jones not worth keeping up with.
I have been off the radar for a couple of weeks. But as I was bumming around on the internet enjoying a celebratory Friday beverage I decided to check out this week’s TMI. The topic appealed to me and so here is a sleep deprived, Friday evening attempt at a sexual biography.
I was a late starter. I made entirely through high school without losing my virginity. This was probably due to a lack of opportunity rather than a lack of interest or a particularly strong desire to be virtuous. Looking back now with the wisdom of age and hindsight I think being a ‘brain’, as we referred to them, with coke bottle glasses and absolutely no social skills that was locked in a boarding school probably saved me from being ‘that girl’ that everyone talked about with apparent disdain but secret awe.
In a lot of ways I have been making up for it ever since. I am not the owner of a particularly high sex drive but I have always been open minded about sex and things sexual. This has led me to have some adventures that make a lot of Vanilla people’s eyes pop out. Especially when living as my alter ego, Gemma. The journey from 17 year old virgin to 42 year old part-time sex goddess has been long and involved a stop along the way to birth and refer to school age two children. For a couple of years I was a stay at home mum to school age children and a full time Sex Goddess. That was when my adventures peaked. Mostly in the form of meeting various men, some of them strangers, for adventures in change rooms, parks, at swinger’s parties and the like. I have ticked off many ‘standard’ fantasies; group sex (with as many as 20 people in the ‘group’), jelly wrestling (that was a bit weird), sex with multiple women, sex with multiple men, double penetration, blindfold sex, BDSM parties and sex with people that I never actually introduced myself to.
I have sold used underwear, been the recipient of ‘tribute photos’ with said underwear, tied up men, spanked men, fisted women and men, experienced double penetration both double vaginal and anal / vaginal, enjoyed more spit roasts than I can count and attended parties where I fucked every single person at the party, both male and female including my husband. I have laid on a bar and let everyone in the club eat cream and choloclate sauce off me and probably a bunch of stuff that has slipped my mind.
I love giving head and thanks to the attentions of Pet and another friend I have recently discovered the joys of rimming. At the moment my favourite things are; watching Mr Jones eat other men’s cum off me while he is fucking me, teasing Pet in any way that comes to mind, exploring the boundary between pleasure and pain (Pet’s pain my pleasure ) and giving head to random people in swinger’s clubs.
I could go on but I think I have well and truly exceeded the 250 word limit. I tend to use this blog as a bit of a confessional booth so if you stay tuned there is a good chance that I will be sharing stories of my exploits as they happen in the future.
As for the BONUS question: I haven’t frequented public transport much since I got my first car at age 21. So despite my varied exploits I have to say no. However now that I think about it I may have to add this to the Fucket list and give it a go at some time in the future.
Make sure you hop along to the TMI page and check out the other confessions… Erm I mean Biographies!