TMI Tuesday – The First Time

Photo by Jackie Hope on Unsplash

1. First app you check in the morning?

One that is showing notifications. Usually messenger or something like that. I have a couple of friends who I usually text good morning to every day. We don’t have a protracted conversation but that regular contact is the stuff a friendship of ten years is built on.
2. First kiss location?

I think it was in the middle of a dance floor at a high school dance. I went to boarding school. We didn’t get out much.
3. First major purchase over $1000?

Probably my first car. It was a blue Nissan Pulsar Q and looked like this.

1991-Nissan-Pulsar-Q-N13-S2-Hatchback

At the time I didn’t really think about it but it was almost new. I drove it until #1 Son was a toddler and I was pregnant with The Unicorn. At that point we conceded that I needed a bigger car!
4. First song choice in karaoke song book?

NONE! I really don’t like karaoke and avoid it whenever I can.
5. First internet screen name?

Back in the day I used the moniker ‘Babeslady” I upgraded pretty quickly to Gemma when I moved from Literotica to my own blog.
6. First break up reason?

I honestly can’t remember. Probably because I had met another boy I was more interested in!
7. First concert and how old were you?

I was about 18 and some friends and I went to see Midnight Oil at the Brisbane Entertainment centre. I still love their music!


8. First crush?

I was never really one for celebrities. During my high school days I had a major crush on a boy in my grade. He was nothing really special and I never acted on it. My friends thought it was hilarious. I don’t think I ever even really spoke to him much.

Bonus: What was the title of your very first blog post?

Ranting into the void. I considered including a link but honestly. When I read what I wrote I feel like I was reading something my teenage self said. Cringeworthy!

TMI Tuesday – Health Wealth and Happiness

Photo by Elena Mozhvilo on Unsplash

I have been sick since January 1 so despite having time I have not had the energy. The jury is out on whether or not we have Covid but I am happy that it was a mild experience.

1. Do you feel that happiness is luck or is it a practiced mindset?

Happiness is definitely not the result of luck.

2. If you could transport to the happiest place in the world where would you be?

These images were taken on top of the Sandhills on Moreton Island. I have long recognised it as my happy place. It has been frustrating that weather has conspired to keep me away from there since our return to Brisbane in September. How could I want to be away from here.

3. In 2022, what will you do to improve your health?

Eat more vegetables. Because vegetables are awesome.

4. What is your money psychology?
a. Money worshipper: Those who associate money with security, but in a kind of arbitrary way. The danger is no amount of money is ever enough.

b. Money avoidance: When you tend to think of money as bad, corrupting or just something you do not deserve. This can manifest in many ways, such as, not trying to negotiate a raise at work or avoiding looking at your retirement account.

c. Money vigilance: These people seem really great with their money, but there is a lot of anxiety around actually using it. This type can be great savers but rarely treat themselves.

d. Money status: People with this mind-set see money as a way to feel good about themselves and appear a certain way to others. These folks tend to run up credit card debt, pick up tabs they cannot afford and otherwise mismanage their money — while judging others who do not have the same status symbols.

I am none of those. Mr Jones is very anti debt and consequently we have only ever incurred short term debts to help us buy big ticket investments like houses and property. Whenever there is a debt it is the number one priority to settle it. The other big rule in our house is “never go into debt for something that is not an investment” This includes things most people consider necessary to incur a debt for such as cars, furniture, renovations, vacations. If there isn’t money in the account for the item right then and there then we simply don’t purchase it.

Consequently the rest of our life is about living within our means. We don’t smoke or drink excessively nor do we go out for dinner almost ever. We have stuff. We have a yacht for FS. But the flip side of that is that I can count on one hand the number of times I have been out of the country for a vacation. I can count on the other hand the number of times I have had a vacation that involved staying in a hotel.

So of the choices given I would say that I am vigilant about money but not to the point where it becomes an obsession.

Bonus: Do you have any goals for your blog in 2022?

Honestly. Keep on keeping on. I was happy for the most part with how it progressed in 2021. It has taught me that persistence and consistency is the key to growing this page.

TMI Tuesday blog

TMI Tuesday – Looking Forward Looking Back

1. My favorite thing about 2021 was.

#travellingboob,#boatlife, #cruisingyacht. That made me sound like such a millennial but honestly the best part of 2021 for me was being on the ocean and wearing as little as possible.

2. What is something that happened to you in 2021 that you never want to forget?

So many moments in the voyage Mr Jones and I shared. I cannot choose just one. Mostly I never want to forget that there are always choices that can be made. We are never “stuck” in a particular situation. Walking the path less travelled is always interesting and more fulfilling.

3. What would you like to do differently next year?

When I returned from my journey I felt very refreshed and I made the commitment to myself to make my 50th year on The Earth “The Year of Being Fabulous”. Of course I am not sure how that is different from what I already do. But a couple of months in I can feel a little slide away from fabulousness. Maintaining my focus and not letting the mundane rule my life would be my ultimate goal.

4. How do you honor the past while staying focused on the future?

Learn from your mistakes. Keep only people in your life who you have a healthy connection with. Don’t let your family rule your life just because they are your family.

5. Next year I am excited to _____ .

Start my new job. It is an adventure into a different way of educating. Right now I am not sure what it is going to look like. At the moment it has the potential to be innovative and exciting. I just hope I am able to be creative enough to make it happen.

Bonus: Do you feel jaded at all?

Right now not so much. Having six months at sea tends to clear the head pretty well. Since being back on the land I have been able to make changes that will help keep my head clear and looking firmly forwards.

Bonus for you guys, some images to help clear your mind and soothe your soul.

TMI Tuesday blog

TMI Tuesday – It’s the Little things

1. Do you have a favorite author? Who?

Not especially. I read a rather eclectic range of books combining both fiction and non-fiction. Stand outs are Terry Pratchett and Anne Rice.

2. Do you make your bed each morning? Why?

No. Because I just don’t. Sometimes I might straighten it but hospital corners and perfectly straight doona seem to be a big waste of time.

3. What is one recipe that gets you through busy, hectic times?

“Egg, cabbage, noodle thing”

Cook a packet of Mi Goreng instant noodles and mix the sauce through.

In a separate pan stir fry a grated carrot and about a cup of finely sliced cabbage.

Add three or four eggs and scramble with the vegetables

Stir through the noodles and serve.

You can add different vegetables and more or fewer eggs. While we were travelling this dish was great when staggering back late after sun downers on the beach

sundowners-on-the-beach-nkwichi-lodge - Africa Geographic

4. For therapeutic venting, who do you call–friend, sibling, parent, significant other?

Most of my therapeutic venting is done with The Unicorn. She sometimes tends to respond to a vent with her own rant which can be annoying but on the whole she gets most of my issues.

5. When did you last de-clutter the camera roll/pics on your smartphone?

While we were travelling I regularly de-cluttered my phone because it filled really quickly. No we are back in the mundane world I only really remove the last selfies that I sent to my lover. Mostly so that I don’t have to worry about some random vanilla accidentally seeing it.

Bonus: What is the subject of your next blog post?

I am intending to write another flash fiction with an extension of the story I published last week for Wicked Wednesday. No spoilers.

TMI Tuesday blog

TMI Tuesday – Fountain of Youth

Photo by Brooklyn Morgan on Unsplash

1. If you found a fountain of youth, would you swim in it?

I believe I have found the fountain of youth. It is called life. Simply by living life fully and joyously you won’t have time to worry about feeling old.

2. Share a quick story about your misspent youth.

I was a very earnest nerdy type who didn’t have a lot of friends. That meant there were not many adventures or tales of misdemeanour. I honestly have more tales to tell of things I probably shouldn’t have done or scandals like fucking everyone at a given party from the time I was about thirty five.

3. Some people say that youth is a state of mind, do you agree?

Given my response to 1. I would totally agree. Working with young people definitely helps me to feel and act like a younger person. Having sex with a younger person is totally recommended to help with keeping you feeling young.

Moments like this one with the Spicy Italian and Mr Jones are definitely things that help me feel invigorated and young.

4. Do you feel that you wasted your youth?

Sometimes I feel I wasted it because I DIDN’T do a lot of things that people do in their youth. Things like travelling, staying out too late and being in bad relationships. Interestingly I do most of those things now that I am older and on the verge of retirement. In some ways I think it is better. I have the money to pay for decent drinks and travel more comfortably. I have the sense of what is dangerous to keep me out of serious harm.

I firmly believe that nothing in life is a mistake as long as you learn from the experience and don’t make the same mistake too many times.

5. Are you anxious about death?

The Second Mate told me once that he had a premonition once that he would die when he is 60 years old. He is so certain of that prediction that he has lived his life and taken risks accordingly, feeling safe in the understanding that he has a set number of years left in his life.

While I don’t have a specific “knowledge” of when I will die I am not overly concerned about death. There are things in this life that we can control, things like what we eat for breakfast and who we have relationships with. But there are many things we worry about but cannot control. Things like death and how other people are going to act. Spending the emotional energy worrying about death is a waste. It stops you from living.

Bonus:  When do you dislike too much chatter?

Chatter is definitely something I don’t like much. I have a small amount of industrial deafness so background noise like chatter makes it difficult for me to determine specific conversations.

TMI Tuesday – What is Normal?

1. Do you consider your sex to be “conventional”? Why or why not?

I once heard a person describe married sex as saying “fuck you” at your partner as they pass you in the hallway. I am certain that many people think that is conventional sex for married couples. There are other people who consider legs in the air screaming the house down sex with a man you are not married to while your husband is tied to a chair and forced to watch conventional as well.

I personally don’t do the first option ever. While the second option is part of my repertoire it isn’t the only way I have sex. Sometimes vanilla is the best flavour.

2. Gender Identity–How do you describe yourself? (Mark one answer)

a. Male b. Female c. Trans Male/Trans Man d. Trans Female/Trans Woman e. Genderqueer/Gender Non­Conforming f. Different Identity

As far as gender goes I am a woman or a female. I respect people who have a high level of self awareness and emotional maturity and identify in a way that is non-binary. I also think that this whole thing has been overthought by a lot of people.

3. Sexual Orientation–Are you exclusively?

a. Heterosexual b. Gay c. Lesbian d. Bisexual e. None of the above, specify if you wish.

Sometimes I consider myself to be bisexual but in all honesty I think I am more of a pansexual. Because I love getting down and dirty with a pan.

And a man

And a woman

If they are appealing to me.

4. Is understanding the causes and effects, and the formation of gender stereotypes important?

There is no substitute for education. It is absolutely important for people to understand that gender stereotypes exist, their effects and where they come from. This doesn’t have to be so that people who are applying these stereotypes can be vilified or made to fee lesser but so that everyone can address these issues.

Bonus: Your thoughts on this–“I’m in a committed relationship, and it feels like asking for consent every time we have sex is overkill—is that wrong?”

If asking for consent is onerous and seems like overkill then you genuinely don’t respect the person you are with. Just because someone has been your spouse for twenty years does not mean that you have to consider that they may not be as interested in sex as you think.

TMI Tuesday – The Breakfast Edition

Disclaimer: I may or may not be a little angry with the world and some of my answers may come across as a bit rant like.

1. What’s for breakfast?

Baked beans with cheese and bacon roll. If I had more time it would also include a poached egg. Sadly Mr Jones bought BBQ flavoured baked beans instead of tomato. I will forgive him… once.

2. Three words you don’t want to hear during sex.

What’s for dinner.

Especially if it isn’t the person you are fucking who is asking the question.

3. Stupid shit you shouldn’t do but do anyway. List two.

Put pins in my mouth while I am sewing.

Post pictures of my boobs on the internet. We try to discourage teenagers from this kind of behaviour and then go and do it ourselves (who am I kidding? Other teachers don’t do this stuff).

4. One thing you love to hate.

Pious, white, middle aged men.

For added fun I like to imagine tying them up and belting their pasty white arses!

5. Today is a great day for _____ .

Changing the world by inspiring a student. I have been assured by multiple people that some of my students are glad to have me back in their lives. I have yet to have a student tell me this though.

It doesn’t stop me from trying.

TMI Tuesday blog

TMI Tuesday – Some Things

1. Tell us 7 things making you happy right now, and why they make you happy.

  1. Chocolate, although it has been a while since I had chocolate in my fridge. I need to rectify that.
  2. Lying in the sun naked, as pictured.
  3. Being on the water. Not swimming or doing anything in particular. Just being out there
  4. A good cup of tea in peace and quiet. It soothes my mind
  5. Hanging out with my lorikeet. He is completely honest about what he things, if sometimes noisy and irritating but he loves me.
  6. When I read something I have written and it is good. I feel accomplished
  7. When someone tells me something I have written is good I feel like I am not lying to myself.

2. Tell us 5 things you learned last week.

  1. I learned a way to move individual cells around in Excel. I know this is not something that would rock most people’s world but it certainly rocked mine!
  2. I have learned a bunch of kid’s names. Two new classes will do that for you.
  3. I learned some new ways to stretch which is helpful because I WILL get into a full split very soon.
  4. I have a skin cancer on my forehead. That also wasn’t fun but it is gone now.
  5. Mr Jones is interested in being the bottom for some impact play. Something I kind of knew but had to be reminded about.

3. Tell us 3 things that stand out for you in 2021.

Look, most regular readers here will know that I went on a 23 week voyage with Mr Jones along the Queensland coast. It was life changing. I can’t really add to that. So I am not going to really try and put another two things with that list. Instead I will leave you with a couple of images from the trip.

Magnetic Island Queensland. Perfect place to watch the sun go down.

Bonus: What is the #1 thing you cannot do without in life?

Sunsets. No two are ever the same and they are always perfect.

Sun setting between the mainland and Glouchester Island. Seconds after this image was taken a dolphin jumped right where the sun was setting!!
TMI Tuesday blog

TMI Tuesday – Back to Work Edition

Sunset at beautiful Lady Musgrave Island. Photo copyright of Gemma Jones

1. I’m so jealous, I wish I was _____ .

I am not jealous of anyone who is in a place like the one pictured. I do wish I was back there though, or so many other places.

2. When would you seek help from a sex therapist?

This question is one of the Thirty Dirty Questions series. You can read my full answer here. The summary answer; I am not really comfortable with the idea of visiting a therapist for any reason and so this scenario is unlikely. However if I was in a poly relationship and we were having jealousy issues this could be an option.

3. How do you break up with a friend?

I honestly don’t know. I have had a lot of friends come and go in my life. The main process seems to be ghosting. Because of my experiences being socially isolated and feeling awkward and not accepted as a teenager I am super sensitive to rejection. When I experience a situation that gives me the slightest feeling of rejection I automatically assume the worst and go to the default position of hating people.

4. Give us a tip to turn a bad day around.

A hug from a good friend works. Also driving over the speed limit with the music blaring.

This is an example of a great song to have blaring out your window as you drive down the freeway.

Bonus: Do you feel drowned by social media?

An interesting question. I limit the platforms I interact with because of my job. I don’t want to run into my students online. So I am limited to the old fashioned platforms of Twitter and Facebook. Currently I am in Twitter jail because my profile image was deemed pornographic. So, frustrated by the companies that own and run social media? Yes. Drowned by it? No.

Money, Money, Money

Image by Goumbik from Pixabay

1. What is the most expensive thing you have purchased that was not worth the price?

I bought a pair of shoes last week. I still am not in the habit of doing regular land based things so I didn’t check the price before deciding to buy them. Not sure what was happening there but when the sales assistant rang up the price it was higher than I would have considered reasonable at the time. I didn’t have the brain space to argue so I just paid and walked out the shop. They are leather shoes and I will wear them a lot so I am just telling myself that is enough to justify the price.

2. Has money ever ruined a relationship for you?

Not really. Money is something that I use and I am relatively careful with but it isn’t something that drives life decisions for me. I haven’t had a relationship that was dictated by money issues ever so I guess I am lucky.

3. What is a cheap thing you own that just makes you SO happy?

The cardigan I am wearing as I type this. I got it from the sale rack. It was damaged but it is so soft and cuddly. I love wearing it.

4. What is the most toxic quality about you?

I have inherited some of my mother’s passive aggressive tendencies. I am relatively skilled at inducing guilt in the people who care about me. I am super conscious about not turning into her so I try really hard but it slips out sometimes.

5. Why do you not like to talk about money?

Because for many people seeing someone with something they don’t have but think they want causes them to be jealous and negative. I don’t want to be judged or thought of as a snob.

When we purchased our yacht the question a lot of my teacher friends asked was “How much did it cost?” I could hear the unspoken question of “How did you afford that?” as they asked. I never told anyone how much it was. My standard response was “Enough”. Most people were happy to leave it at that. I didn’t want to advertise to my colleagues that I work primarily for reasons other than to pay my bills.

Bonus: What is the craziest thing you have done for love?

Bought a boat that cost the same as a house, took unpaid leave from my job and spent six months sailing the Queensland coast. I got a lot out of it and it changed me for life but ultimately this voyage was about me compromising with Mr Jones.