This post is based on the TMI Tuesday questions from March 20. Like a lot of their posts the questions raise some interesting thoughts.
1. Who was the first person you ever had a crush on?
Sadly my age means that this happened a very long time ago. In terms of celebrity crushes I think my first one was “The Hoff” wayyyy back when he was in Knightrider. In fact wayyyyy before he was “The Hoff”. To be perfectly honest the car was probably just as sexy as he was.
As for real life people there was this boy who I was deeply, madly in love with for all of year 11 and 12. Like most of those crushes he was blissfully unaware of my infatuation and proceeded to have a long term relationship with someone else for all of those years. My friends could not understand my infatuation with him. He wasn’t one of the boys that was regarded as particularly good looking. I just found something about him attractive.
2. What is the most important material possession you have and why?
For me material possessions are weird. I have as many as the next person. In true middle class white person style I probably have more than most people in the world. I don’t necessarily want to be without any but I can’t think of one that is particularly important.
3. If you were a cake which cake would you be?
Chocolate cake of course! Not one of those insipid sponge types but something like a Sacher torte that is rich and complex and decadent. Something you know you shouldn’t eat but you really can’t stop yourself. Because of course eating me is an experience. On a side note one of The Colombian’s most endearing qualities is his desire and talent for eating me. I used to be a bit meh about guys eating me out but after a couple of experiences recently I am starting to see how some women see it as an indispensable talent.
4 Has anything/ anyone ever saved your life before?
Not really. I guess I have not really done a lot that has been life risking. Or maybe my guardian angel saves my life every day and I just don’t notice.
5. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
The ability to eat and drink what ever and whenever I want with no effect on my weight! Imagine being able to eat endless amounts of chocolate and cake without worrying about calories! Life would be perfect.
Bonus: What are your plans for the holidays?
Well I am so glad you asked! Firstly I am going to sleep when I want and not have to get up and go to work for two weeks. Secondly for the official Easter break I plan to eat and drink whatever I want whenever I want. My third plan is to find some more secluded, less visited parks and spend some time enjoying the company of the Columbian. He has a thing for outdoor adventures. I just have a thing for adventures. So I am hoping I will keep you posted.
Boxing Day is a public holiday that seems to be unique to Britain, Australia and possibly other parts of the British Commonwealth. The origins of the holiday are a little unclear but The Spruce gives some feasible explanations. In modern times it seems that Australians, and possibly Brits are really just celebrating their love of a public holiday. In Australia Boxing Day is marked by two great sporting traditions; The commencement of the Boxing Day test cricket match held at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) and the commencement of the Sydney to Hobart Yacht race in Sydney Harbour. Both contests are marathon tests of skill and stamina with the Sydney to Hobart being responsible for the loss of more than one life even in recent times. For us mere mortals it is a time to recover from over indulging on Christmas Day or perhaps just a way to extend to celebrations for a little longer. Most people would agree that Boxing Day is much more relaxed and if we do attend a gathering it will most likely be with people we actually like instead of fulfilling family requirements and satisfying obligations.
Of course there is always time to enjoy some TMI goodness.
1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
Yes. In the whole go to church, get together with the family and eat too much way. I am a practising Catholic so in some ways I take Christmas a little bit seriously. I know December 25 is not the day of Christ’s birth and I know that many of the Christmas traditions we observe are derived from Paganism but the essence of the day, the birth of a child that will change the world deserves some attention. If you are not a Christian then the idea of putting aside differences and taking time to be with people, somehow, also deserves some attention.
2. Tell us about your Christmas celebration.
In our family there is no specified format for Christmas. This year we, Mr Jones, Myself and our children have traveled to spend a few days with my parents at the Cattle Property in Central Queensland. We started the day with ham and pre birds for breakfast followed by unwrapping of presents. Followed by cold lunch on the verandah with my brother and his wife. The maximum temperature for the day was 37 degrees so the only thing I could have added was a swimming pool.
3. What season is it where you live?
It is most definitely summer with a vengeance. As I said in the previous response the maximum temperature yesterday was 37 degrees. In the morning I spoke with my brother who lives in southern New South Wales and they were experiencing a very chilly morning that required a jumper. My sister in law was adamant that this is not how Christmas should feel. I was reminded of this song.
4. It’s the end of the year, what are you still trying to accomplish before the end of the year?
Not really much. The main thing that is playing on my mind is continuing to reduce my weight and improve my fitness but that is more of a long term lifestyle thing.
5. Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve?
Mr Jones and I will be taking our yacht up the Brisbane River to weigh anchor and watch the fireworks off the Story Bridge. Some vanilla friends and our children will be joking us it should be a great relaxing night.
There was no bonus this week but in the spirit of one of my favourite TMIers Nero Speaks I have added my own
Bonus:What is on your ‘Fucket List’ for the coming year.
I have updated my Fucket List Page with a couple of items that are on the immediate horizon. I am hoping that The Englishman’s availability improves a little in the new year because he is cute and I have plans for him 😉
I hope you have enjoyed this rather rambling TMI make sure that you check out the other contributors at TMI Tuesday
1. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them?
It was a long time ago, I think I was maybe 7 or 8. I grew up on a cattle property which was fairly isolated.My father had several younger men working for him on a casual basis. One of them was a bull rider when he wasn’t working as a stockman. I guess for a country kid living on a cattle station that was the same as being a rock star.
2. Which parent do you identify with the most?
My relationship with my parents is problematic. I think I have blocked a lot of my negative feelings and consequently the positive ones just to stay sane. I am constantly vigilant of developing the same mannerisms and attitudes as my mother. So I guess that answers the question. Despite my efforts my appearance is very similar to my mother and she has a very strong bearing on the way that I live my life.
3. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat?
I don’t think there is any regular food that I won’t eat AT ALL I have two foods that I strongly dislike one being eggplant and the other is coffee. But I will eat them under duress.
4. Would you ever adopt a child?
I don’t think I would consciously go through the official adoption process, but I have taken in a teenager when she didn’t have a home. In similar circumstances I would absolutely do the same thing again.
5. When was the last time you played a board game? What game?
This is not technically a board game but about a week ago we had some friends over for dinner and we played the card game ‘Get Rich Quick‘. For the OCD sufferers out there within the last six months I have played Monopoly the Dr Who regeneration version at which I annihilated Mr Jones. No mean feat.
Bonus: What makes you laugh more – dry humor or weird, goofy humor?
Definitely the dry type. Sometime the darker the better. Weird goofy humour, especially British ‘toilet’ humour is ok sometimes but it often just makes me cringe.
For more TMI goodness make sure you hop along to the TMI Tuesday page.
Honestly I have never come across a bath that comfortably holds two people. So I would prefer to have my bath by myself. Showers however are a different story. My ideal shower partner would be someone like Channing Tatum.
Like who wouldn’t want someone like that to wash your body before fucking you against the wall of the shower.
2. You are, on a motorcycle, riding hard down a country road, wind in your hair. Who is the hottie on the bike with you? Are you riding or driving?
Riding definitely. The driver (that doesn’t seem to be the right term) would be Arnold Schwarzenegger of course as a Terminator. Because who wouldn’t like a terminator as your escort.
3. Baking naked–who is kneading your dough? 😉
I gotta say that naked baking seems hazardous. Anything hot near naked bits makes me nervous. But I would definitely choose the sexiest celebrity chef, Nigella Lawson.
4. Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me! Who is joining you for a sexy sea adventure?
I do enjoy the occasional sailing adventure with Mr Jones. Even though we have discussed it several times we have never been able to get third, or fourth, person to join us for some nude adult fun on the water. At the moment I am discussing the possibilities with a sexy guy I am seeing but given our track record of organising these events we will see what pans out.
5. “I got your back.” Hands down who do you fully support, stick by no matter what, Who are you willing to help at all costs?
Absolutely would have to be Mr Jones. If you can’t say that you will stick by your husband of 19 years then you have some serious issues. If you don’t stick together when you are raising teenagers then they will take over your life.
Bonus: Belly button–inny or outty? Are you going to show us? 😀
My belly button is part of the area of my body that I like the least. If you want to see my belly button then who am I to argue with you? You are most welcome to visit my previous post, Sunday Selfie.
1. What do you find sexiest in a woman?
I am a bit of a boob fan. If a woman is dressed in such a way that you catch a nice glimpse of her cleavage or a bit of side boob then I am definitely going to be interested. I a less cliched way I am also often taken in by a woman’s mouth. I love full lips and nice teeth. They don’t have to be perfect and I don’t really go for a gap but something about the way her mouth moves makes me want to kiss her. And kissing a woman is very very sexy.
2. What do you find least sexy in a man?
An interesting question. When I first glanced through these questions I thought i was going to be waxing lyrical about tall well built, preferably bald, bulls but on closer inspection….
So unsexiness is definitely mostly linked to personality. A man who needs to “grow a set”, an Australian euphemism that you can read about here, is a massive turn off. The other thing that sends me packing is poor hygiene, body odour, greasy hair and reeking of cigarettes.
3. Have you ever been the other woman or man? Would you do it again?
I have to a certain extent been in this position a couple of times. Cruising around swingers websites looking for ‘single’ men is kind of asking for trouble. I do not judge anyone for the way they choose to run their relationship. However I choose not to be in a position where I can’t freely message or otherwise contact the person I am fucking. I also choose not to be in a position whereby play dates get cancelled at the last minute because the wife or girlfriend has changed her plans. So to answer the question I would not knowingly become involved as the ‘other woman’.
4. Who puts more into a romantic relationship you or your significant other?
This is a bit of a loaded question. In general people, male and female, always perceive their effort to be greater than someone else’s in a given situation. Additionally women tend to have different priorities from men in a relationship which means they perceive they are putting in more effort because they don’t notice what the male is doing.
Having said all that I do feel I put in more effort in that it seems to be my responsibility to make dates happen and make plans for holidays etc. This has been an issue for us but we are working on it and making some progress.
I don’t have one of these, mainly because I have not worked at my current job/profession long enough to have formed such a relationship. Or perhaps it is because I am just damned hard to get along with. I don’t know.
Mr Jones however does. Funnily enough his work wife is a woman he employed to help him out with his business after we had dated her as a couple for a while. The sex has definitely gone out of the the relationship but the friendship still remains. What I love the most about Mr Jones’ work wife is that she doesn’t put up with any of his crap. Something he definitely needed.
Bonus: Are you in a healthy relationship? What makes you think so?
I believe my marriage is healthy for several reasons;
- It is long term. In 2018 Mr Jones and I will celebrate out 20th wedding anniversary
- It is successful; we are debt free, we have accumulated wealth as a partnership on our own merit.
- We disagree but we don’t fight; raised voices between Mr Jones and myself are extremely rare. When they happen it is a strong sign for both of us to sit up and pay close attention to the problem. Our children recognise this and correctly interpret a raised voice as a sign that things are not right.
- We trust each other; both of us regularly have sex with other partners. There is always open and honest communication around this situation any distrust or jealousy always stems from suspicions about the motivation of the third party.
Bonus, bonus: Is the “work spouse” strictly a U.S. American anomaly (they do spend an insane amount of hours at work)? One study found 32% of Americans admitted to having a work spouse.
I guess my answer to number 5 shows that the term ‘work wife’ is in common use in Australia as well as the US. I am not sure if that is a sign that ‘work wife’ is truly an international term or if Australians watch too much American television.
As always for more TMI goodness make sure you hit up the TMI Tuesday website.
Turn off the alarm and debate with myself about going back to sleep. Right now, in week 8 of a 10 week term I am almost at the point of counting the sleeps before the holidays start. The other crucial part of my getting up routine is cuddling the cat. Neither of us can function properly if we don’t have our morning cuddle.
2. What is the last thing you do before you go to sleep?
Have a snuggle with Mr Jones. Sometimes it turns into more but mostly it is just a cuddl a kiss and “good night”.
3. Are you a giver or taker?
Such a giver! Not just in bed but in everything. In bed I am definitely the one who is more likely to come away from an experience wondering what all the fuss was about. In fact reflecting back I think that was ultimately what caused my relationship with Pet to die. That and the fact he was/ is a very selfish person.
4. If you had to give yourself a new name, what would it be?
Esmeralda Amelia Jane. In a pinch though Gemma will do. It has served me well as an alias for many years now.
5. A world-famous chef asks you to make dinner, what would you make?
Absolutely no fucking idea. Probably lasagna because that is the meal that I am famous for, in my own little kitchen anyways.
Bonus: What’s the worst advice you ever received?
I must be a bit of a maverick because I can’t remember ever taking someone’s advice and regretting it. Either that or I have no friends that care enough to give advice to me.
This week’s questions are a little eclectic but I enjoyed them. If you are interested in more TMI goodness then make sure you check out the TMI Tuesday page.
1. If you were forced to wear a warning label, what would yours say?
Quite a few years ago someone actually made a Facebook post about me that said;
“Caution hot! Pole not included.”
Ironically in her knowledge pole dancing was the most scandalous thing I did in my spare time but in spite of this I think the label still applies.
Definitely Ernie. He wasn’t exactly the smartest one but he was definitely the one who had the best sense of enjoying the simple things in life.
3. If you could have an endless supply of a candy or baked good, what would you get?
This is a hard one. I am a huge fan of chocolate cake and have been known to say that good chocolate cake can be better than sex. But I also have a weakness for vanilla slice. I don’t actually think that if I had an unlimited supply one one thing that I would like it for very long. Variety is the spice of life.
4. Who is your favorite villain? Why?
This is a hard one. No one exactly springs to mind. I am not sure if she is exactly a villain but I do like Catwoman, the Michelle Pfieffer version.
Sunrise, definitely. I am a farm girl born and bred and since childhood I have awoken at sunrise. These days I am ‘better’ at sleeping in but there is still a special place in my psyche for sunrise.
Bonus: If you took a job out of your current career path, what job would your take?
Currently I am in the third year of my current career. I started my first year of being a teacher when I was 41 years old. It was a significant career change that happened after several major events in my life. I am not sure if there is another job that I would really be interested in pursuing.
The older I get the more I am convinced that that the western idea of love is all fluffy kittens and unrealistic ideas about ‘sparks’ and everlasting fidelity. The reality is very very different. Love, at least the type that makes a marraige that lasts more than 8.7 years (the average length of a marraige according to the Australian Institute of Family Studies) is messy, complicated, gritty and sometimes just plain hard work. Very often fidelity, at least in the traditional sense of the word, is not a part of it.
So to answer the question, yes love is a serious thing. Marraige or committed partnership deals with some very serious stuff, substantial investments like houses and superannuation, the raising of children, facilitating careers, caring for elderly or ill parents and a whole bunch of other serious things. That first attraction, which many people think of as lust, that is not so serious, it can be very easy come, easy go. The trick is to not get the serious business of life, especially that part involving children, mixed up in it.
2. Finish this sentence: I never knew sweat like this.
So I am 44 years old and apparently my body has decided that it is time to get ready for menopause. Not a sexy thing really. The thing I hate the most, the sweat. When everyone else is complaining that it is getting a bit warm I am starting to resemble a snowman on a sunny day and looking for the nearest fan. Not something that is great when you live in the subtropics and the humidity averages around 70%. Right now in the peak of Australian summer I am seriously in love with my air conditioner.
3. Would you rather swim with sharks that you know have recently bitten people or swallow live worms? Why did you make that choice?
Absolutely give me the sharks every day! Why? Because sharks are cool, in exactly the same way that bow ties are cool. (Yes I did just make a Dr Who Joke)
There has been an apparent upsurge of shark attacks in Australian waters recently but the reality of most sharks is that they are not really interested in eating us. Like most animals that don’t have hands, sharks bite things sometimes just to find out what they are, just the same way as we often can’t keep our hands of something we are curious about.
I have a friend who is a SCUBA diver and she adores diving with sharks because they like pats just as much as dogs. The only type of shark that you seriously need to avoid is a bull shark, they are just nasty. If it is a bull shark then I will take the worms.
4. What is beautiful and most appealing about you?
An interesting question. I would like to think it is my personality and razor sharp wit. Although many people comment on my boobs or my ass. I dunno what do you all think?
5. What time is it RIGHT NOW? What were you doing before you started to play TMI Tuesday?
Right now it is 9.29am on Tuesday. Just before I sat down to to this I was checking out campsites at a National Park that we are considering visiting during the Easter school holidays. I am a little excited about this trip as we haven’t done much camping or checking out of National Parks for a while. However I am not as excited as I am about the trip we are planning during June when we will be visiting Central Australia including Uluru and Kings Canyon.
Bonus: Are you a little bit damaged? How so?
Everyone is a little bit damaged but as a good friend of mine once said; “all crayons write the same even when they are broken. “
One word can describe how I am feeling about this year right now, wet! Not the really fun kind of wet, although there was some of that on NYE, right now it is the camping / boating while raining kind of wet when all the towels are wet and everything else is damp and there is nowhere to hang anything to dry. This is relatively unusual for this part of the world but as we were finding a sheltered anchorage in the rain and wind last night I wondered why in the hell would anyone sail as a hobby in a country where this is the norm?
2. Did you go out on NYE or have a New Year’s day celebration?
For the last few years we have had family friendly New Years celebrations. But this year Mr Jones decided that it was time for an adults only New Year’s Eve. We found ourselves at a swingers club which was a lot of fun. There was some very sexy interactions and some massaging going on but no serious play ensued. Mainly due hang ups that some people seem to have. I won’t go into details but there may be a post pending on this topic sometime in the near future.
3. Ahh yes, those pesky New Year’s Resolutions. How did you do with your 2016 NY resolutions–did you keep them?
For the first three months of the year yes. After that no. All I will say is that they were mostly boring resolutions to do with maintaining vegetable gardens and such like. Really it is not surprising that I didn’t stick to it.
4. Year 2017, are you carrying over any resolutions from 2016? What?
Well the vegetable garden is still hanging around and thanks to this weather system that has put a dampener on our sailing expedition will be nice and ready for seedlings when we get back but I am not really putting together a resolution around it as such. But really you don’t read this to hear talk of tomatoes and lettuce.
5. What new experiences are you planning to have or hoping to have in 2017?
At the party that we were attending on NYE the MC was walking around asking random people for their NY resolutions. At the time I was holding a sachet of popping candy and contemplating using it while giving a head job. This is something I have heard of doing but haven’t tried. In one of those sour of the moment things I mad the statement that that I was going to spend 2017 learning 5 new techniques to use while giving head. This morning while discussing this with Mr Jones he asked me to list the techniques I already knew. They included;
- Using my hand as an extension of my mouth
- Deep throating, this is something I need to practise as I struggle a bit with larger grey especially if their head is big
- Sucking firmly on the tip or head of the penis which can be fairly intense
- Inhaling air around the shaft of the cock during the “upstroke” which makes a cool draft of air. Mr Jones particularly likes this one.
- Using ice cubes
- Using mints
- Sliding my tongue between the foreskin and the head of the cock on men who are uncircumcised. This is to be done with caution as some people are not as clean as others
- Stimulation of the arse or skin behind the balls while sucking.
This list is not totally complete but after considering it I am thinking adding five new techniques to it may be a bit of a challenge. If any readers have suggestions please fell free to leave them in the comments.
Bonus: Did you see fireworks on New Year’s eve? (Take that anyway you want :-p )
The entertainment for our adults only evening out included both a male and female stripper. As is the way often the male stripper was mediocre. Some people would call home attractive but he didn’t do it for me. The female stripper on the other hand was AMAZING. One of the very excellent parts of her show was to cover certain parts of her body in shaving foam and set it on fire. I have never really seen this done before but I am kind of inspired to give it a go during a play session. Watch this space for tales of burnt skin.
The only actual firework I came into contact with was the cracker that some idiot decided to let off in the park next to our house as the sun was coming up on January 1. Not Happy Jan
As always make sure you check out the TMI page for your weekly overdose of TMI goodness
I don’t really believe in playing games with relationships so the idea of testing someone’s love is foreign to me. Having said that I have been married for 18 years and of course there have been many times when you would say that my relationship has been tested. We are still together so I guess you can say that things have turned out well.
2. Select the answer that best fits your experience. I have dated:
a. all the wrong people
b. romantic companions that were mostly a good fit for me.
c. people that were perfect fits–loves at first sight
d. not all that much, I mainly have had a lot of long term relationships
As I stated in question one I have been married for 18 years but prior to that I was mostly d. I didn’t really date all that much. Since we opened our marraige I have dated a lot but not in the traditional sense. The results of this dating are splashed all over this and my Erotic Adventures blog. I will leave you to do the research and make your own conclusion
3. Online dating: What is your success rate? What do you consider success?
So as I already said I date, primarily from online sources. Of course the motivation for this dating is not to find a relationship in the traditional sense. I am seeking sexual adventure and experiences that most people fantasise about, if they are brave enough. In terms of success it has been very hit and miss. I have written about both of these. I have been fortunate to have some extraordinary adventures but they have not been something that comes along every day. You really have to sort through a lot of rubble to find the gems.
4. What sexual thing do you do most often that you could commit to doing everyday?
A realist will be very aware of the fact that doing something every day is a great way to make it a chore. Experience tells me that making anything sexual a chore is a good way to cause problems in your marraige, so sorry to be a party pooper but I am not going to entertain the idea of doing anything sexual every day.
5. What are your thoughts on love and lust?
There is definitely a difference between a lust based relationship and a love based relationship. The line when a relationship crosses from one realm into another is very, very blurry and differs from person to person and situation to situation. There is absolutely no way that real love resembles in any way the saccharine sweet Disney version of love that we are sold as children. In my experience real love is practical, it has lots of lumps and bumps and does not come in one size fits all.
Lust is hot intense and rears its head in all sorts of situations. It is definitely a roller coaster ride and like all roller coasters great for a holiday treat but not something you necessarily want in your life every day.
Bonus: Are you searching for love or are you searching for attention?
I believe I have already found love with all of its imperfections, practicalities and pragmatism. I have built a partnership over 18 years that has raised children, built a comfortable life and sustained ourselves and a number of friends through some interesting times. I am searching now for the roller coaster ride. Maybe I have become a bit of a junkie or maybe a connoisseur but as I have said many times I am a goddess and, yes, it is all about me.
As always make sure you head in over to the TMI Tuesday site for more TMI goodness.