TMI Tuesday – Double Whammy

Welcome to your second dose of TMI for the week. You can never have too much TMI Tuesday.

1. Agree or Disagree with “Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.”

I have never really been a Mondayitis kind of person. Monday is a just another day to me.

Rainy days are great for lazing around which is something I don’t normally get to do. However if I am at school and it starts raining… There is something about kids and rain…

2. What do you like to do on a rainy day?

See the answer to number 1. Bum around and watch Rue Paul’s Drag Race.

Who are the queens of 'RuPaul's Drag Race' season 10?

3. What do you refuse to spend money on?

Uber Eats. Like really? Is it THAT hard to go pick up your own take away?

4. If money and practicality were not a problem, what would be the most interesting way for you to get around town?

As I type this I am on a bus going back to the marina from the supermarket. A tender for my yacht that is like an aqua duck would be handy these days.

5. What is the most frustrating product you own?

In my TMI post for last week (that I posted yesterday) I mentioned the need for a new can opener. I had a session with the current one that made me wonder at the intellect of the person who invented canned food but not the can opener.

Bonus: If you could hack into any one computer, which computer would you choose?

My employer’s pay office!! Maybe I could secure an income to fund an extension of my current leave.

This post is part of TMI Tuesday for 11 May 2021. To see who else is sharing click the button below

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TMI Tuesday; Filling in the Blanks

I started writing this post a week ago but it has taken me until now to get it posted because internet at sea is sometimes challenging.

1. Friends = _____

Fun, benefits, good times, someone you can lean on, people to drink with. Although not all friends are all of the above. The benefits definitely only apply to certain friends. Sadly not all friends with benefits become people who stay in your life for a long time.

2. I’m done with _____.

Small children. My own children are grown up and able to mostly care for themselves. Grandchildren don’t appear to be imminent and I have little tolerance for other people’s children. One of the things I say to Mr Jones frequently when we are out and there are small children behaving badly is

“I’m glad we don’t have little kids any more!”

3. I’m ready for _____.

Sitting here on extended leave dealing with views like this.

It is difficult to imagine going back to work. I have contemplated the question of if I am ready for retirement but the answer to that is probably not yet.

What I am ready for is a beer! And some oysters that I just harvested off the rocks on the beach!

4. The oldest _____ I have is _____.

The oldest sex toy I have is a vibrator whose name is Big Red. I don’t really use him any more as a vibrator. He has been superseded but for a while I was using him to penetrate a gentleman who liked big things in his arse.

5. Take some _____, mix it all together and you have _____.

Take some egg white, Limonchello, Vodka and some other cocktail magic, mix it all together and you have the best Lemon Mereingue cocktail ever.

Only if it is made by a very special friend who knows exactly who he is!

Bonus: Tonight I am looking forward to _____, and tomorrow I really want to _____ !

Tonight I am looking forward to having decent internet, and tomorrow I really want to go shopping and buy some fresh vegetables, a decent can opener and a strainer.

I haven’t been able to get to a supermarket in a fortnight. And I recently discovered that the can opener on the boat is a pile of poo, because I had run out of fresh fruit and veg and wanted to open a can!! And yes I know I am living the dream but there are issues with living on a yacht that result in a lack of access to supermarkets and general civilization.

TMI Tuesday – Do We Match?

The questions this week come from a TV show called “The Match Game”. I don’t really remember this show but I have recently been introduced to Ru Paul’s Drag Race by The Unicorn which includes a parody dating show “The Snatch Game” which is hilarious.

1. Are you ready to go? Where are you going?

I am ready for many things; being blindfolded and feeling a stranger’s face between my thighs. Going into the wild where the weather may change and the sandbar on the map is not exactly where it is in real life.

2. There is something wrong with dating, what is it?

I am going to go out on a limb here and say the internet has simultaneously been the best and worst thing for dating in history. While the internet has no doubt allowed many couples to meet who would never have crossed paths in pre-internet days; Dating sites have also created a culture that resounds with selfishness, snap judgement and just plain bad manners.

3. Born to be wild–what is your wild?

I have been wild for so long that I forget that it is wild to mainstream people. A few days ago I was sitting on the back deck of our boat in a rather picturesque location. The weather was sunny and warm and I chose to be naked from the waist up. This seemed like such a great idea until other boats started going past and waving to us. I became a little self conscious.

I was less so later in the day when we went walking on a nearby sandbar.

4. Pick your best feature and sell it to us?

Right now I am in a headspace that involves making things work. Over the last few weeks I have faced a few situations that have really taken me out of my comfort zone. In the words of a friend “courage is when you do something in spite of your fears rather than in the absence of them”

5. Fill in the blank. This may sound a little weird but _____ .

“Can you just stand with your head out of the porthole for a while?”

As I was standing there contemplating the serenity of the inlet we were moored in Mr Jones proceeded to test out the new mini massager that I had purchased before our departure. I stayed upright as long as I could!!

Bonus: If you were trapped in a store all night, in which store would you want to be trapped?

An adult store.

I just hope that I wouldn’t have to pay for the merchandise I would test out during the night!!!

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. Click on the button below to see who else is sharing

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TMI Tuesday – The Good Life Edition

1. What is an ideal weekend for you?

An ideal weekend would consist of some serious play time that included about two hours of continuous sex of some form, a large portion would involve fucking. Some time spent on the boat in a sunny part of Moreton Bay being at least semi naked in the sun and time to sleep and recover from the fucking.

2. What is the craziest job you would consider taking?

There are many people in the world who think I am crazy for doing the job I do now. Although I find it mostly rewarding. Despite frequent rants about troublesome students and Central Leadership making stupid unrealistic demands.

Apart from this job the craziest job I have considered was working as a scientist for the summer season in Antarctica. I was much younger then. I didn’t get very far through the application process before I realised it probably wasn’t for me.

3. Where would you rate yourself as a kisser on a scale of 1 to 10? (10 being the best kisser ever!)

I am OK at kissing. I wouldn’t call myself great so maybe a 6 or 7.
A play friend I knew once had this feedback system going where you gave him a rating about certain skills he felt were important. Maybe I should start something like that.

4. What do you like most and least about your significant other’s cooking?

The think I like most about Mr Jones’ cooking is that when he does it I don’t have to. Don’t get me wrong, I generally LIKE cooking. What I don’t like is having to think about WHAT to cook after a day of work and having to plan what I need to buy to do said cooking.

What do I like least about Mr Jones cooking? That when it is his turn to cook I often end up doing the planning and decision making that is the part I don’t like about having to cook myself.

5. How has smartphone photography changed your world?

I am not sure if smartphone photography changed my world a lot. Certainly during the early years of my marraige and parenthood a physical camera was a big part of my life. Since having a smartphone I did move away from needing a separate item just to take photos.

A hiking trip that involved rock hopping accross a creek and a swim for my phone has convinced me that for our current, water based, adventure that I would invest in a waterproof camera. I do not regret my choice but I do still use my phone.

Bonus: What is a good life?

To me a good life is one that has been well lived. In doing this a person has achieved their goals, and been happy and productive. I don’t believe a person can be productive if they have not contributed to making the world a better place. Just accumulating stuff or satisfying your personal whims is not enough.

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. To see who else is sharing click on the icon below.

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TMI Tuesday – A Few of my Favourite Things

1 What is your favourite dessert and why

My automatic response to this question is always chocolate cake. Although in recent years I have developed an affinity for cheesecake. So chocolate cheesecake? All of the good things, rich chocolatey goodness, creamy cheese with a little tang. What is not to like?

2 What is your favourite nickname to be called?

Mr Jones calls me Babe but I don’t like being called that by anyone else.

At work I have a variety of nicknames depending on who is calling me. One of my colleagues who is about the same age as me calls me “Sissy”. It harks back to a student who graduated last year. When he was in year 7 he mixed myself and my “Sissy” up all the time (we don’t look at all alike!). He said we looked like sisters and the nickname was born.

3 What is your favourite nickname for your favourite person?

I also refer to Mr Jones as Babe. Not very imaginative but there it is

4 Who makes you laugh the most?

One of my colleagues who refers to me as her lover, is highly unusual. She is one of the quirkiest people I have ever met. Always guaranteed to generate a smile when she walks into the room.

5 What is something from your childhood that would seem strange to millennials.

Many things from my childhood would seem strange to millennials. I grew up in a small country town. One of the last to have a ‘party line’ phone system with a manned exchange in Australia. The phone that sat on the desk in the study area looked like this;

It was connected to the exchange by an actual wire that ran for 42 kilometers! About six or so households shared the same access wire and only one of us could use it at once. Children were not allowed to use the phone at all. A far cry from the smartphones of today.

Bonus: What is your idea of heaven

Somewhere that is unspoiled by humans and their consumerism. A place where people respect the environment and live relatively simply. I hope I see some of these places in my upcoming voyage.

Bonus Bonus:

There is always room for boobs

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday roundup. Click on the icon below to see who else is playing along

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TMI Tuesday – Easter Weekend Edition

In Australia Easter is traditionally a four day weekend. There are usually school holidays either side depending on when Easter happens. Many people take the opportunity to go camping or have a short get away with their family. Plans in the Jones house have been rather topsy turvey due to a lot of factors; a snap three day lockdown, our upcoming six month yacht expedition and the weather no less.

Whatever is happening in your part of the world I hope that you and yours enjoy some time with each other and create happy memories.

Image by anncapictures from Pixabay

And so on to this week’s questions

1 Would you rather have sex with someone who never showers or someone who never brushes their teeth?

I teach teenagers. They frequently stink. Some classrooms seem to have the stink of teenage body odour permeated into the paint and the floor covering. It always hits you when you first walk in but after a while you seem to forget it. Particularly if something is happening to distract you.

Bad breath on the other hand is overpowering. Nothing can make me forget that smell. Or stop me from cringing. I would choose body odour every time. You could always use a position like doggy style where you don’t have to be close to them.

2 Would you rather have only have sex in the shower for the rest of your life or only have sex on the floor for the rest of your life?

I have never really been a huge fan of shower sex. It just doesn’t cut it for me. Foreplay in the shower 100% yes. Maybe a little penetration sometimes but always in the shower? Nope it would become frustrating if that was the only way I was ever having sex. I need a surface I can lean against securely because when I have sex I like to be completely focussed on what is happening to me, not concentrating on not slipping or maintaining a position that is a little awkward.

3 Would you rather cry every time you have sex or burp every time you kissed?

Crying is something I am coming to terms with as I get older and my hormones become more messed up. Burping is something I know is unavoidable but would over time make me avoid kissing.

4 Would you rather find out the last person you had sex with was your long lost cousin or a brutal serial killer?

That would depend on how good the sex was. If it was mediocre then it doesn’t matter, I didn’t die, I didn’t make a child, I won’t feel compelled to go there again.

If it was mind blowing I would just be annoyed that I couldn’t go there again.

Bonus would you rather always say what you think or never say anything.

Saying what you think is something that is very important for maintaining your integrity. Certainly there are times when you can keep your ideas to yourself and it will make everyone happier but in many of those situations it IS possible to say what you think without being offensive. It is all about the phrasing. For example when an acquaintance told me she and her family were buying a house a VERY long way from her work, her husband’s work, their children’s schools and most of the people they were friends with at the time my thoughts were;

“Have you lost your mind?” with some expletives thrown in.

What I said was “Oh, that is a long way from everything.” I don’t know if she realised what I thought. I am sure she didn’t care. I believe I did say what I was thinking, it was just phrased more tactfully. Besides I can always vent here.

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TMI Tuesday – Dream Jobs

1 What was your first job?

My first proper job was as a lab assistant in a meat research laboratory. The people working there were firmly entrenched in 1960 – 1970 thinking about a lot of things. For a young scientist just starting out it was surreal. I am glad I was on a contract and I didn’t stay there too long.

2 In your next life what will be your job.

As a young mother who was stupidly trying to be the woman who did it all I watched my husband (yes Mr Jones) sleep all night while I was up dealing with infants and toddlers who needed feeding, nappies changed, temperatures monitored, beds cleaned yada yada. Then when they had to stay home from daycare and school because they were sick I was always the one taking the day off work.

Through those experiences I told myself over and over again that in my next life I was going to be the Dad and have the choice to get up in the morning, worry only about getting myself to work and come home at night to dinner and TV.

3 What is your favorite item in your workspace and why?

On my desk at school I have a small collection of knick knacks that come from various places; An image of St Francis from a previous school, a plushie of a HIV virus and and Ebola virus and a Cat-Dog Pop vinyl that were Christmas gifts from The Unicorn

On my desk at home I have a reminder that was given to me by a friend at a previous school that helps me to stay grounded.

4 What can you not stop thinking about

At the moment most of my energy is focussed on our upcoming sailing voyage. Every conversation ends up there. Every action is divided into “Things to do before we go” and “Stuff to deal with when we get back” Things are starting to get very real now.

5 What are you holding on to that you cannot let go – a person, a show, an item, a career, a book – anything.

I am currently obsessed with “The Last Kingdom”. Mr Jones and I are binge watching it for the second time.

The Last Kingdom: 10 Interesting Facts You Didn't Know About Alexander  Dreymon (Uhtred)

Bonus: Do you have a Twitter Problem

I don’t know what constitutes a Twitter problem. Do I spend all day on it? No. Do I post constantly? No. Do I sometimes get sucked into conversations that will end in an argument with stupid people? Yes. I guess that could be counted as a problem.

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. Click on the image below to see who else is sharing.

TMI Tuesday – The Money Edition

1 If you pay someone to do one chore what would it be?

The first thing that popped into my mind when I read this was clean my house. I have paid someone to clean my house in the past. It was good but I have a semi – retired husband and two adult children living with me right now. If we can’t manage to get the place clean enough there is a problem!

Maybe a personal stylist / shopper would be cool.

2 If I gave you $1, 000, 000USD how much would you give to charity?

Mr Jones is not a huge fan of donating cash to major charities. I think he feels that a lot of money gets wasted on admin etc. In the event of a windfall like that I feel that a proportion of it would get donated but some would be directed at specific people who we know personally that need a hand.

3 What is the most annoying thing your partner does with money?

Talk about it! Mr Jones is interested in finance and economics so we spend a lot of time talking about his theories relating to tax, wealth generation and debt management. It isn’t something I find particularly interesting but there we are.

4 What is something you bought as a couple but would be embarrassed for your parents to know?

I don’t think there is anything we have bought that I am embarrassed about. I don’t particularly discuss money with my parents. My mother in particular is one of those people who likes to gossip about people in a nasty way and always shares her unwanted opinions. So I make a point of not discussing our finances with her.

5 What money related thing have you hidden from your significant other?

Nothing. All of our accounts are joint. So Mr Jones sees every transaction I make. If I wanted to hide something it would require a lot of maneuvering.

Bonus: If you received $1, 000, right now would you tell people? Why or Why not?

Regular readers will know that we bought a boat recently. It is not a small boat. One of the questions I get asked by colleagues is how much it cost. I have always been very cagey about the answer to that question. Explaining where the money came from and why I am still working if I can afford something like that is a conversation I don’t want to have.

TMI Tuesday – You Sexy Thang!

1 Pick your next sexual encounter. Only pick one, then tell us why that is your choice.

  1. Blindfolded during oral sex
  2. Sex in a hot tub
  3. Sex in an elevator
  4. Phone sex
  5. Bringing in a third party

I am going with blindfolded during oral sex. Although I hope that it turns into a full on sex session with the blindfold on. I am the kind of person who very much likes to be in control so the blindfold would be challenging but with the right person I would very much like to try it.

2 When could having sex with an ex be a good thing?

Never.

Thinks it over for a moment.

Nope, definitely never. Exes are exes. They belong in your past and like all mistakes the only thing you should take into the future from them is the lessons you learned. I am even of the mind that sex partners that have left your life for whatever reason should never be re-heated. Although I have been tempted….

3. Have you ever had sex in a public toilet?

I know you said no judgement Hedone so I am going to take you at face value!! I have never had penetrative sex in a public toilet. Does that count. I have sucked a guy off in the toilet of a city hotel which was in the foyer so kind of public?? Does that mean I get kind of judged?

4. Car sex is hot or not?

The idea of car sex is hot. The reality is weird positioning and awkward moments. I once had sex in a car that was parked in the carpark of a pub where I met a prospective partner for the first time. It was without a doubt a quickie, the whole thing lasted less than five minutes. At the time I thought it was a good sign.

It wasn’t

I also had multiple encounters with a man who was supposedly playing with the knowledge and consent of his partner. He was very reluctant to host or shell out for a hotel. After a daytime encounter in the back of a car in January (middle of Australian summer). I called it quits.

5. What is the most appealing thing about you?

My razor wit and fantastic arse of course.

If you want proof

Unless you are in my year 11 Maths class and then the fact that I offer chocolate bars as a reward is the most appealing thing about me.

Bonus: Some time ago in Geneva, Switzerland, a coffee shop opened where you can get a hot delicious cup of coffee, with a side of a hot delicious blowjob. A) Would you visit this coffee shop? B) Would you get the blowjob?

Firstly I don’t like coffee and I find all the wank surrounding it amusing. Coffee culture when viewed from the outside is just a little bit ridiculous. I mean who can take someone seriously who absolutely MUST have their “Flat skinny no-dairy macchiato in a tall cup” daily. It’s coffee!!! For the record I feel a bit the same about wine. So coffee shops don’t cut it for me.

In terms of the blow job? Maybe. I have played with an ex sex worker and he gave some of the best pussy lickings I have ever experienced.

Image by Sarah Huerta from Pixabay

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday roundup. Click on the icon below to see who else is sharing!

TMI Tuesday – What About Me!

1 For you, what would be the worst store to have a $1000 gift card for?

Any of them!!! I can’t think of a single store I would like to spend $1000 in! At Christmas gift cards are the bane of our existence. Our whole family is very bad at using them. When certain department stores had a time limit on them we would frequently not use them and have to throw them out! I guess at heart I am a simple creature with simple tastes and I like to keep my ‘stuff’ to a minimum.

2. Besides a raise or more vacation time, what is the best perk a company can offer you?

A free canteen. Imagine being able to rock up and be served a healthy lunch without having to plan, prepare and then queue for the microwave to heat or toaster oven to toast said lunch!

3. What are you most likely to be very wrong about?

I don’t understand this question. I mean how could I ever be wrong about anything? I am never wrong.

4. What is something you borrowed but never gave back?

Sperm in a condom. Something Mr Jones likes to put on my chest when we have reconnecting sex after I have been with a lover. For a long time this was something we didn’t really discuss. But these days it seems this kind of thing seems more acceptable. What is interesting is the reaction of different men. Some feel they are done with it so why not? Some think it is hot that in some way they continue to be interacting with me sexually. One notable exception was a man who thought it was taking a piece of him and violating it.

Bonus: What is something you have struggled with your entire life?

I have always struggled with my weight / amount that I eat. I realise now that when I was a child / teenager I THOUGHT I was fat and ate too much because of what my mother told me. Who the hell tells a six year old that they are fat?? These days I am kinder with myself but I still think about how much I eat and if it is right every day.

Bonus Bonus

There is always room for boobs

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday roundup. Click on the image below to see who else is sharing!