TMI Tuesday – Only Boring People Get Bored

1. When was the last time you Ate Vanilla Slice ? (Now answer your question).

It has been a couple of weeks. I do love a good vanilla slice. Recently I shared one with a Twitter follower. This innocent coffee morning turned into an unexpected embrace and kiss in the carpark and some “relax time” together. I have enjoyed my time with him since then.

2. I’m bored, what should I do?

Only boring people get bored. So get your shit together and find something to entertain yourself or I will give you a menial task like cleaning the bathroom or re-folding the contents of my linen closet.

3. Who is the smartest person you know? Why do you say this?

The pharmacist is a pretty smart guy. He is fond of a pun and also a corny one liner. But in all seriousness the amount of random information he spouts blows my mind sometimes. I am grateful it is usually stuff I am interested in like biology and stuff. I am glad it isn’t physics or politics.

4. Are you awesome?

Of course! My list of talents is long but includes giving amazing blow jobs and being a firecracker in bed. Plus I have awesome boobs and an amazing arse. I am the complete package!

5. If you could take any reality show off the air, which one would it be?

All of them! Life is too short to spend much of it watching other people in contrived “reality” situations. Get out there and live people!

Bonus: After making a claim like the one above I guess I have to prove my point.

Boobs and arse. Two for one!

TMI Tuesday – The Naked Edition

1. What do you wear to sleep in?

99% of the time I sleep naked. Only when it is unusually cold do I wear a long sleeved t-shirt to bed. For those of you in the Northern Hemisphere remember that houses in Australia typically don’t have any kind of heating installed so we rug up a bit more indoors when it is cold.

2. Do you ever walk around your own place naked?

Not as much as you would think. I still live with one of my children and my parents in law live in adjoining granny flat so covering up is kind of good manners.

3. Have you or would you ever answer the door naked?

Fully naked no. Partially clothed, yes. I am perfectly comfortable to talk to “the public” in a t-shjirt and panties or even my underwear. If they want to turn up at my house unannounced then they have to be prepared to take what they get.

4. What part of your body do you like to be on show? Why?

That is a bit of a no-brainer. My boobs of course! Why? Because, in the words of a special person, “They are spectacular”

5. When sunbathing how much do you bare?

As much as possible! I was very proud of getting a great tan with no tan lines after six months at sea last year. I never bother to sunbathe unless topless at least.


6. Have you or would you bare all on a naturist (nude) beach?

I have been to a few nude beaches and the beaches are usually quite spectacular. I do like baring all in the sun and nature. As explained above but the creepy middle aged men that seem to frequent these place can be intimidating and annoying. Plus, why deal with sand and inconvenience when you can sunbathe on a sand free deck with a refrigerator nearby when you need a snack or a drink?

7. Have you ever flashed your bits in public? If not would you if it turned your partner on?

I once famously flashed my bare arse in a busy McDonalds on the way home from a night out. Mr Jones was turned on and highly amused. Since then we have taken a lot of nature shots in places where people might happen along.

8. Have you ever given a striptease or has anyone given you one? Did you enjoy it?

One of my favourite things to do. Mr Jones does enjoy them. Along with some other people who have been on the receiving end.

9. Ever gone skinny dipping? Alone or with others?

Swimming naked in the ocean is an amazing feeling. If people want to join me they are more than welcome.

10. Do you like to look at naked people or do you want show off your nakedness?

I am an exhibitionist yes. But I do enjoy looking at naked men. They don’t have to be buff. I love looking at naked arses of men and their dicks of course.

Bonus:  Sexually speaking, what’s the furthest you would go with a partner in public? Have you had sex in public?

100% yes. Sex in public a few times. Remind me sometime and I will tell you about it. Right now I need to get off this laptop and go to work

TMI Tuesday – Pleasure and Pain

1. Which do you enjoy more in bed, pain or pleasure?

I am definitely more into pleasure but I do like to include a little pain. A little spank, a little nibble adds to the intensity.

2. Do you like being tickled during sex? Where?

I am not really ticklish so when people try to tickle me it has very little impact. I do like to be stroked gently with the back of someone’s fingernails though. If that counts.

3. Have you ever used feathers during sex?

I do possess a couple of feather ticklers. The kind you buy from the sex shop. They have had a kind of ‘meh’ effect so they aren’t really a go to. If I want to stroke gently I find the fronds of a flogger to have more impact.

4. Do you like to be blindfolded during sex? Why?

This is something that people TALK about but somehow in the heat of the moment these things get forgotten. Although I have had a bit of a realisation that I have developed a habit of being a bit passive when I am having sex and letting my partner dictate things. Even when he asks what I want I defer to what I think he wants. During a session with The Divorcee realised I have to be more pushy. So the restraints may happen in our future. He has mentioned he wants to. So I just have to make it happen.

5. Have you ever used cold or heat as part of your sex play? What was provided, the cold or the heat?

When pleasuring myself at home I sometimes enjoy the coolness of my glass dildo in those first few moments before it is warmed by my body. But extreme like putting it in the freezer. Not yet. Maybe with someone I trusted to administer it. It is early days but I like the idea of making a little to do list with The Divorcee.

6. Do you enjoy being spanked, giving spankings, or both?

Both. Some people have very delicious bums that are very very spankable. I also like the feel of being spanked. Sometimes over a knee. Sometimes while I have a cock buried deep inside me.

7. Do you have a safe word? Have you ever used it?

Mr Jones and I have had a joke for many years about “Pineapple” being our safe word. For the record neither of us have ever had to use it. Partly because we are pretty in tune with how the other is faring and partly because we don’t go to extremes all that often.

The only time I have ever really made a safe word was during a weekend we spent with a couple earlier in the year. It didn’t go particularly well. Needless to say that despite making and me using the safe word, he ignored it. I had to repeat the agreed word and then the more standard “red” several times before his wife stepped in. It has made me even more cautious about those kinds of situations.

TMI Tuesday – Smartphone Addiction

1. Does your smartphone have a grip on you? In one hour, how often do you check your phone?
a. I am glued to my phone. I check it every 1-2 minutes; it is satisfying.
b. I check it 1-2 times per hour.
c. I check my phone only when I get notifications, and I don’t get many.
d. I check at lunch time and at the end of the day mostly, unless I get a notification.

It is really a combination of b. and d. I don’t take my phone to class and so am not constantly checking it but I do check it more frequently when I am at my desk.

2. Israeli spyware Pegasus* marketed and sold to other governments is used to spy on activists, journalists, and political leaders. Do you believe hackers are monitoring your smartphone?

There have been too many times that I have been talking about something and then suddenly Facebook is showing me ads about that thing for me to NOT believe it. Do I sound like a conspiracy theorist? Probably, but there it is.

3. When in flight, on an airplane, do you put your phone in flight mode?

Yes. There isn’t a message on the planet that can’t wait until the plane lands. Plus it preserves the battery.

4. What is the lock on your smartphone?
a. facial recognition
b. fingerprint
c. numerical code
d. pattern
e. I don’t lock my phone

Facial recognition has changed my life!!

5. Do mobile phones interfere with your relationship(s)? How?

I think one of the saddest things is seeing a couple out at dinner both sitting on their phones and not really being in the moment with each other. That has GOT to have an impact. For me if I am trying to give a “go away” vibe to Mr Jones I will have my phone in my hand. If I am having a proper conversation with him I will put away my screen so that I can focus on him.

Bonus: In line with the theme I am sharing the last three images on my phone.

TMI Tuesday – Online Dating Edition

Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

1. What is your go to question to ask in online dating?

What are you looking for? Boring I know but straight to the point and helps me to sort out the tyre kickers and people who will likely never go anywhere.

2. How old is the pic you use for your online dating profile?

About six months. I try to keep up to date photos in my profile. Just to manage expectations although honestly some men don’t care as long as you have a vagina.

3. What is your biggest dating pet peeve?

In the meeting in the app phase;

Initial messages that are like “hi” or “Hey”. Really! If that is all you have to say then just keep walking

When meeting:

Changing the time at the last minute because “something came up” or not showing up. You will only get ONE chance to rectify that shit.

4. What are your goals with online dating?

I am looking for a regular play friend. Someone that can hold a conversation and is looking for a physical only relationship.

5. Have you ever slid into a stranger’s DMs? Did they respond?

Not really. I don’t like it when people do it to me so I avoid the behaviour myself.

Bonus: Do you think a couple’s finances should be together or separate?

Everyone has to manage their own relationship in a way that suits them. For us our finances are so intertwined that it will take a lawyer to sort them out if one of us dies!!

TMI Tuesday – I Tripped!

Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash

1. Would you rather be attracted to for your body or your mind?

Hmmm tricky one. As women we are strongly conditioned to be ornamental and so feeling beautiful is important. So often my attention is attracted by someone commenting on my boobs or bum or general physical appearance.

That said if that is a s far as the conversation goes or if it keeps focussing on that I will get bored and move on quickly.

2. What would be more embarrassing for you out in public–to be seen tripping or adjusting your “package”?

I fall over in public from time to time. The most recent was a stack in a busy pub last weekend. Not because I am clumsy but because there was something spilled on the polished concrete floor! So tripping is not that embarrassing because I am used to it.

I don’t have a package to adjust. But if I did then I think this would be a more awkward option.

3. If you are going to be famous what is it for?

I already am famous for having awesome boobs!!!

4. Would you rather urinate in port-a-potty or nearest bush?

Definitely a bush. Port – a – potties are for emergencies only.

5. What new beginning are you excited about?

I don’t have any specific new beginnings happening right now but I have recently had a shift in my friendship circle. A long term friend has decided she didn’t really need me in her life. Up until this point I was remaining loyal to her even though it was causing me to become isolated from other people who I had a lot of time for. Now that she is gone it is like I have lost a lot of dead wood. Maybe it is for the best.

Bonus: Burrito or Tamale

Mexican is not a really common street / takeaway food in Australia so Tamale isn’t something I have come across. I do like a burrito on occasion though.

TMI Tuesday – Grudges and Misdirected Mail

Photo by Jiawei Zhao on Unsplash

1. Confession booth. Confess two things right here on TMI Tuesday.

I love perving at dad bods. My twitter timeline is full of them. Current favourites @midwestdadbod, @preacherbear, @filoufilou

2. I am guilty of _____ .

Eating too much chocolate.

3. A big box is delivered to you. The address is correct but the name on the label is not you. Do you open the box?

Kind of tempting but I will admit I am too much of a goody two shoes to open it. I would probably try and return it to the sender.

4. How long have you held a grudge?

Until I don’t. Sometimes that can be a few hours, sometimes a lifetime. I recently had my first experience of having to block an ex-friend on social media. It didn’t sit well with me and while I would like to think I won’t be seeing her in my life again there is part of me that is not entirely convinced.

5. Does anyone have a grudge against you? Why?

See above! What the grudge exactly is for I am not entirely sure. A collection of things I think related to her twisted perception of the world.

Bonus: There is this one thing in my life I wish I had not done. I wish I had not _____ .

Let my mother take over my wedding. I was young, she had controlled my life mostly up to that point. I let her dictate most of the aspects of it and I regret it completely. So much so that I considered having a “do-over” on my 25th anniversary.

Bonus Bonus

After so much serious stuff there has to be boobs!

o

TMI Tuesday – Can You Handle the Truth?

1. What movie dialogue do you know by heart?

Not a complete dialogue but the line from “A Few Good Men”

“You can’t handle the truth!”

2. Which show do you watch the most?

For a long time Dr Who was on high rotation in our house. Unlike Mr Jones and The Unicorn I didn’t spend a lot of time sitting and watching it but I was fairly familiar with the plots and culture of the show. One show that I did spend the best part of a year working through was Orange is the New Black. The rest of the family were not as into the show as I was but I still watched a few episodes when I got the chance. I loved it.

3. Do you get shy on camera?

It is weird. I don’t mind having my photo taken with my boobs out and when I am in control of the image being posted. Especially if it is of my body but not my face. I avoid being snapped at school as much as possible though.

4. How often do you take selfies?
a. Once a week
b. A few times a week
c. Every day
d. Never

Probably 1 – 2 times a week on average. Following the above rules of no face. And so Twitter is graced with #commutecleavage and #travellingboob.

5. Do you like being watched?

When I am having sex? Fuck Yes!!! The seeing people aroused buy watching me have sex is a major turn on.

Bonus: What’s the last thing you got in trouble for?

I am an adult we don’t really “get in trouble”. Last thing I did that made a lot of people shuffle their feet awkwardly because I SHOULD have been reprimanded? Not so subtly made a comment to the CEO of our company about the way he favours some campuses and their staff over others with his attention and support. For the record, while the other people in the room were aware of my intent, I think he was oblivious to my meaning.

TMI Tuesday – Where is My Vibrator

It is TMI Tuesday time. That day of the week when you just don’t know what you are going to get.

1. What is the most ambitious work you’ve done in the past five years?

Teaching teenagers. One of the most frustrating, thankless tasks in the world. It is very difficult to teach a human who knows so much!!!

2. What is the biggest risk you’ve taken in your life?

Investing the same amount of money it takes to buy a house, in a yacht, taking unpaid leave from my job and sailing away with Mr Jones for six months.

3. What do you do when no one is watching?

Masturbate. There is something about having an empty house that just makes self pleasure so much better.

Photo by Womanizer Toys on Unsplash

4. How do you get attention?

As a wife: Say “You aren’t listening” Mr Jones has learned that the unspoken meaning of that is “Your opinion isn’t the only one here and you need to stop listening to your own voice”

As a mother say: “I’m starting to get annoyed,” I am a tolerant and reserved person but when I have had enough I have had enough. Often there is no outward sign of

5. Who do you stalk on the internet?

Occasionally people from my past but no one really. I just don’t see the point.

Bonus: What did you watch last night?

I watched Mr Jones wash the dishes and condensation form on the ceiling. Life on a yacht when it is cold and rainy is very exciting.

Photo by Nithya Ramanujam on Unsplash

TMI Tuesday – Life

1. What keeps your life exciting?

Having a million things happening and a lot of interests. I just watched an episode of Big Bang Theory where Penny is envious of how many things Leonard gets excited about. It made me realise that like many things in life there are those who do stuff and those who watch. I am a do-er. If I don’t have something to do I feel a bit lost.

2. What is something you do to embrace your insecurities?

I think I have mentioned my Pole Fitness habit. If anything is going to make you feel insecure prancing around in tiny pants trying to do mind bending things on a vertical piece of brass will do it.

3. Where do you find joy on the internet?

The internet is for porn and misinformation. I would rather be making content than consuming it and I would hate to think I make the kind of content that people consume these days. I do like posting images of my boobs though.

4. There is going to be an exhibition in your honor. What 5 things from your life must go on display? Why those particular pieces?

My boobs, because they are something a like to show off and they are hot

My arse, because it too is hot

My lasagne, because it is legendary

My sewing machine because I spend many hours at it and great things come out of it.

Finally my Coca Cola cake. Because how does one explain the way Coca Cola can make a fudge deliciously moist chocolate cake.

5. I do not want to do _____ . Please do not make me _____ .

I do not want to: Be in the middle of a conflict between two people I am “friends” with

Please don’t make me; be in a social situation where they are both present and I feel like both of them are asking me to choose.

There are days when conversations with my cat are more intelligent than some of the rubbish that comes out of people’s mouths.

Every Damn Day in June