Wind back the clock about five years and my life was in a very different place. I was not employed in a paying job, I had time on my hands and Gemma Jones was at the start of her glorious career. I am not talking about the British actor but rather the sex goddess who defined my life for several years.
Fast forward to now and my life is radically different. I find myself struggling to explain to myself why a section of my life that was so amazingly empowering and just plain fun seemed to be so hard to keep alive. It is true that life is all about cycles and as the years slide by things change, no matter how much we want them to stay the same. It is also true that a life that is based around sexual gratification is ultimately very two dimensional and, ironically, unsatisfying. My life these days is much more…. twenty dimensional, and emotionally challenging and satisfying in ways that are completely different. But I keep going back to the thought that there still has to be space for Gemma in there.
For a good while I was approaching the problem from the perspective that time was the issue. I just needed to make Gemma time more of a priority in my life and give myself time to be ‘all that’. Sometimes this worked. And sometimes I have been Gemma. Actually, reflecting as I write, I think I have been Gemma a little more than I realise. A more subtle and grown up Gemma than the overtly sexual and in your face version of five years ago.
I was having a conversation with Pet recently that wasn’t really about this issue but during the course of the conversation I realised something that I hadn’t thought of before. Being Gemma is not just about finding time to fit that stuff into my life. It is also about confidence. This Gemma;
Was 10kg lighter, and had lovers in her life who were solely focussed on her. She was told almost every day by a range of people how completely desirable she was. Today’s Gemma does not look in the mirror and see a ravishing sex goddess. Instead she sees the cellulite, the belly, the folds of skin over her eyelids and she frantically checks for signs of a double chin. When she is at work she is required to wear clothing that cannot be seen up, down or through and she is constantly under review by the most self centred of beings, teenagers, and the most demanding of humans, their parents.
In short Mrs Jones often needs to be reminded she is HOT.
To effectively be able to get Gemma on Mrs Jones needs to be convinced that she is sexy or it ain’t gonna happen. It may sound egotistical and it is. I don’t need to remind anyone who has spent time with the real Gemma that the experience is not about worshipping a passive being. Gemma is all about giving and satisfying. Her own gratification is based very much on other people’s satisfaction but that is impossible to achieve if she doesn’t have confidence in her ability and appeal.
So I guess I need to add another requirement to the list for potential playmates;
- Must be able to make Mrs Jones feel like she is sexy.
That shouldn’t be too hard to achieve.