Category Archives: Life
Boxing Day is a public holiday that seems to be unique to Britain, Australia and possibly other parts of the British Commonwealth. The origins of the holiday are a little unclear but The Spruce gives some feasible explanations. In modern times it seems that Australians, and possibly Brits are really just celebrating their love of a public holiday. In Australia Boxing Day is marked by two great sporting traditions; The commencement of the Boxing Day test cricket match held at the MCG (Melbourne Cricket Ground) and the commencement of the Sydney to Hobart Yacht race in Sydney Harbour. Both contests are marathon tests of skill and stamina with the Sydney to Hobart being responsible for the loss of more than one life even in recent times. For us mere mortals it is a time to recover from over indulging on Christmas Day or perhaps just a way to extend to celebrations for a little longer. Most people would agree that Boxing Day is much more relaxed and if we do attend a gathering it will most likely be with people we actually like instead of fulfilling family requirements and satisfying obligations.
Of course there is always time to enjoy some TMI goodness.
1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
Yes. In the whole go to church, get together with the family and eat too much way. I am a practising Catholic so in some ways I take Christmas a little bit seriously. I know December 25 is not the day of Christ’s birth and I know that many of the Christmas traditions we observe are derived from Paganism but the essence of the day, the birth of a child that will change the world deserves some attention. If you are not a Christian then the idea of putting aside differences and taking time to be with people, somehow, also deserves some attention.
2. Tell us about your Christmas celebration.
In our family there is no specified format for Christmas. This year we, Mr Jones, Myself and our children have traveled to spend a few days with my parents at the Cattle Property in Central Queensland. We started the day with ham and pre birds for breakfast followed by unwrapping of presents. Followed by cold lunch on the verandah with my brother and his wife. The maximum temperature for the day was 37 degrees so the only thing I could have added was a swimming pool.
3. What season is it where you live?
It is most definitely summer with a vengeance. As I said in the previous response the maximum temperature yesterday was 37 degrees. In the morning I spoke with my brother who lives in southern New South Wales and they were experiencing a very chilly morning that required a jumper. My sister in law was adamant that this is not how Christmas should feel. I was reminded of this song.
4. It’s the end of the year, what are you still trying to accomplish before the end of the year?
Not really much. The main thing that is playing on my mind is continuing to reduce my weight and improve my fitness but that is more of a long term lifestyle thing.
5. Do you have any plans for New Year’s Eve?
Mr Jones and I will be taking our yacht up the Brisbane River to weigh anchor and watch the fireworks off the Story Bridge. Some vanilla friends and our children will be joking us it should be a great relaxing night.
There was no bonus this week but in the spirit of one of my favourite TMIers Nero Speaks I have added my own
Bonus:What is on your ‘Fucket List’ for the coming year.
I have updated my Fucket List Page with a couple of items that are on the immediate horizon. I am hoping that The Englishman’s availability improves a little in the new year because he is cute and I have plans for him 😉
I hope you have enjoyed this rather rambling TMI make sure that you check out the other contributors at TMI Tuesday
1. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them?
It was a long time ago, I think I was maybe 7 or 8. I grew up on a cattle property which was fairly isolated.My father had several younger men working for him on a casual basis. One of them was a bull rider when he wasn’t working as a stockman. I guess for a country kid living on a cattle station that was the same as being a rock star.
2. Which parent do you identify with the most?
My relationship with my parents is problematic. I think I have blocked a lot of my negative feelings and consequently the positive ones just to stay sane. I am constantly vigilant of developing the same mannerisms and attitudes as my mother. So I guess that answers the question. Despite my efforts my appearance is very similar to my mother and she has a very strong bearing on the way that I live my life.
3. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat?
I don’t think there is any regular food that I won’t eat AT ALL I have two foods that I strongly dislike one being eggplant and the other is coffee. But I will eat them under duress.
4. Would you ever adopt a child?
I don’t think I would consciously go through the official adoption process, but I have taken in a teenager when she didn’t have a home. In similar circumstances I would absolutely do the same thing again.
5. When was the last time you played a board game? What game?
This is not technically a board game but about a week ago we had some friends over for dinner and we played the card game ‘Get Rich Quick‘. For the OCD sufferers out there within the last six months I have played Monopoly the Dr Who regeneration version at which I annihilated Mr Jones. No mean feat.
Bonus: What makes you laugh more – dry humor or weird, goofy humor?
Definitely the dry type. Sometime the darker the better. Weird goofy humour, especially British ‘toilet’ humour is ok sometimes but it often just makes me cringe.
For more TMI goodness make sure you hop along to the TMI Tuesday page.
Dear Random Guy From Twitter,
There was a time when I enjoyed you sending me videos and pictures of you masturbating in the morning. It gave me a boost to think that someone thought about me in a sexual way. For a while I entertained thoughts of maybe meeting you and fucking some day.
But time went on and I realised a few things;
- I am not attracted to you. The more I look at your photos the more I see that I don’t like. And I makes me want to talk to you less.
- We aren’t going to meet. Not because of me but because of you. If you were genuinely interested you would have taken advantage of the several opportunities you have had.
- You aren’t really interested in me. I am just part of your spank bank. An interactive photo that you use to help you get off in the morning before you shower and go to work.
So when I worry about being rude because I don’t reply to all your messages I need to remember to remind myself that you are just flicking though your stimulus and you probably don’t care. So happy hunting. I am busy. When I need a sexual boost and I am at that point again I will net you know.
Sex Goddess Gemma.
Honestly I have never come across a bath that comfortably holds two people. So I would prefer to have my bath by myself. Showers however are a different story. My ideal shower partner would be someone like Channing Tatum.
Like who wouldn’t want someone like that to wash your body before fucking you against the wall of the shower.
2. You are, on a motorcycle, riding hard down a country road, wind in your hair. Who is the hottie on the bike with you? Are you riding or driving?
Riding definitely. The driver (that doesn’t seem to be the right term) would be Arnold Schwarzenegger of course as a Terminator. Because who wouldn’t like a terminator as your escort.
3. Baking naked–who is kneading your dough? 😉
I gotta say that naked baking seems hazardous. Anything hot near naked bits makes me nervous. But I would definitely choose the sexiest celebrity chef, Nigella Lawson.
4. Come sail away, come sail away, come and sail away with me! Who is joining you for a sexy sea adventure?
I do enjoy the occasional sailing adventure with Mr Jones. Even though we have discussed it several times we have never been able to get third, or fourth, person to join us for some nude adult fun on the water. At the moment I am discussing the possibilities with a sexy guy I am seeing but given our track record of organising these events we will see what pans out.
5. “I got your back.” Hands down who do you fully support, stick by no matter what, Who are you willing to help at all costs?
Absolutely would have to be Mr Jones. If you can’t say that you will stick by your husband of 19 years then you have some serious issues. If you don’t stick together when you are raising teenagers then they will take over your life.
Bonus: Belly button–inny or outty? Are you going to show us? 😀
My belly button is part of the area of my body that I like the least. If you want to see my belly button then who am I to argue with you? You are most welcome to visit my previous post, Sunday Selfie.
I took this photo to prove to a friend that I have not faded away to a shadow. Recently I have been “dieting” because I felt I needed to lose a certain amount of weight. I am very opposed to the idea of dieting and so my “diet” is really more of a much needed adjustment to eating habits.
My friend is adamant that I don’t need to lose weight but my doctor thinks differently. I think my body will always tend towards the full and curvy type. Which I am becoming more comfortable with as I age.
1. What do you find sexiest in a woman?
I am a bit of a boob fan. If a woman is dressed in such a way that you catch a nice glimpse of her cleavage or a bit of side boob then I am definitely going to be interested. I a less cliched way I am also often taken in by a woman’s mouth. I love full lips and nice teeth. They don’t have to be perfect and I don’t really go for a gap but something about the way her mouth moves makes me want to kiss her. And kissing a woman is very very sexy.
2. What do you find least sexy in a man?
An interesting question. When I first glanced through these questions I thought i was going to be waxing lyrical about tall well built, preferably bald, bulls but on closer inspection….
So unsexiness is definitely mostly linked to personality. A man who needs to “grow a set”, an Australian euphemism that you can read about here, is a massive turn off. The other thing that sends me packing is poor hygiene, body odour, greasy hair and reeking of cigarettes.
3. Have you ever been the other woman or man? Would you do it again?
I have to a certain extent been in this position a couple of times. Cruising around swingers websites looking for ‘single’ men is kind of asking for trouble. I do not judge anyone for the way they choose to run their relationship. However I choose not to be in a position where I can’t freely message or otherwise contact the person I am fucking. I also choose not to be in a position whereby play dates get cancelled at the last minute because the wife or girlfriend has changed her plans. So to answer the question I would not knowingly become involved as the ‘other woman’.
4. Who puts more into a romantic relationship you or your significant other?
This is a bit of a loaded question. In general people, male and female, always perceive their effort to be greater than someone else’s in a given situation. Additionally women tend to have different priorities from men in a relationship which means they perceive they are putting in more effort because they don’t notice what the male is doing.
Having said all that I do feel I put in more effort in that it seems to be my responsibility to make dates happen and make plans for holidays etc. This has been an issue for us but we are working on it and making some progress.
I don’t have one of these, mainly because I have not worked at my current job/profession long enough to have formed such a relationship. Or perhaps it is because I am just damned hard to get along with. I don’t know.
Mr Jones however does. Funnily enough his work wife is a woman he employed to help him out with his business after we had dated her as a couple for a while. The sex has definitely gone out of the the relationship but the friendship still remains. What I love the most about Mr Jones’ work wife is that she doesn’t put up with any of his crap. Something he definitely needed.
Bonus: Are you in a healthy relationship? What makes you think so?
I believe my marriage is healthy for several reasons;
- It is long term. In 2018 Mr Jones and I will celebrate out 20th wedding anniversary
- It is successful; we are debt free, we have accumulated wealth as a partnership on our own merit.
- We disagree but we don’t fight; raised voices between Mr Jones and myself are extremely rare. When they happen it is a strong sign for both of us to sit up and pay close attention to the problem. Our children recognise this and correctly interpret a raised voice as a sign that things are not right.
- We trust each other; both of us regularly have sex with other partners. There is always open and honest communication around this situation any distrust or jealousy always stems from suspicions about the motivation of the third party.
Bonus, bonus: Is the “work spouse” strictly a U.S. American anomaly (they do spend an insane amount of hours at work)? One study found 32% of Americans admitted to having a work spouse.
I guess my answer to number 5 shows that the term ‘work wife’ is in common use in Australia as well as the US. I am not sure if that is a sign that ‘work wife’ is truly an international term or if Australians watch too much American television.
As always for more TMI goodness make sure you hit up the TMI Tuesday website.
At a small social gathering on Saturday night a couple of women were discussing the changes that happened to their body when they turned 40. I was slightly amused to listen to their comments partly because they seemed to have the belief that the changes happened because they had passed their 40th birthday and partly because I was curious to investigate if these things applied to me. One of the changes that I was most concerned about was the idea that your breast fall completely to the side when you are lying down. My breasts have always been a source of vanity for me and I was pleased to notice that while there was some falling my nipples still point upwards rather than sideways.
The photo above doesn’t really show this well but it does show a pleasing curve rather than flatness. Thank you very much pole dancing.
Recently I have joked to a couple of my chat friends that I am thinking about becoming celibate. They think the concept is hilarious. In their minds and probably in their fantasies I am still the sex goddess I was when they met me. I guess in some ways I am. In many others I am not.
The last couple of years have seen a lot of changes in my life. I think, finally, I have become a grownup. I have a real job; one where I have to be responsible all the time. I am currently the only person in my household that actually has a full time job so in some ways I am kind of the breadwinner. No not really, that would be too much grown up even for me. For the first time in a long time I am thinking about the future and the direction that I want to steer my life. Probably the most grown up thing a person can do.
What, I hear you ask, have either of those things got to do with not being a sex goddess? The answer is actually not very much. Other than my headspace is not constantly occupied with thoughts or plans for the next adventure. Something that was a key part of being a sex goddess. These days when people ask me about my fucket list my answer is; “Fucket list, oh yeh I remember what one of those is”
I just realised; another key indicator of being a grown up, I use semi colons in my writing. Or is that a side effect of being a teacher? I don’t know but it a bit freaky, here I am pouring my heart out to the void of the Internet and I am ticking off grammar and sentence structure in my head. I need a really good fuck.
So we were talking about fucket lists. I remember that I have often said I don’t like to have a specific list. But I guess that I kind of did. I kind of remember what was on it. Right now my fucket list consists of; have sex with my husband, have sex with Engineer X. Not necessarily in that order. Logistics seem to get in the way a lot these days. People think that having small children is a drag on your sex life. Those people really have no idea. Mainly because they are yet to experience having teenagers living with you. Small children don’t know, or care, if they walk in on you having sex. They are not scarred by the experience. What’s more they go to bed at a sensible hour meaning you can actually have pre sex on the couch before you start falling asleep. Teenagers don’t do that. They want to stay up and share their rubbish idea of what is good TV and make it awkward if you want to make sexy jokes with your husband. What’s worse is they don’t go to bed nice and early so that you can invite over some special people or when you get dressed to go out and meet said special people they ask all kinds of questions about where you are going.
Actually my teenagers have kind of got the hint that asking too many questions is not a good idea so I guess I have trained them to a certain extent but it is still awkward getting out the door some days. Mr Jones is much more concerned about that kind of thing that me. I feel more comfortable being relatively candid. He does not. So we land somewhere in between which is, by definition, awkward. I guess I just have to keep telling myself that it is only temporary. Not that I am expecting them to move out but I am definitely not going to sugar coat things for my eighteen year old children just to spare them some awkwardness. That is just creating a rod for your own back.
It seems I have worked through and dismissed my standard list of excuses for not being sexy enough so now I am left with a task; hang up my goddess cape or stop making excuses. My friends are right, hanging up the cape is a hilarious idea. Hilarious because it is so unlikely. And because I simply don’t want to. As much as Mr Jones is irritating me right now he is just going to have to get out his impressive junk and use it on me. Because a happy wife makes for a happy life and to be happier I need more sex in my life.
Thanks for listening Internet Void, you are the best therapist ever.
About a week ago a Facebook colleague posted a meme about duck face selfies that teenage girls seem addicted to. It was actually quite clever.
I share his frustration. It re-ignited in me the motivation to continue with a hobby I was playing with about a year ago. Trying to make selfies an art form. Or rather taking selfies that took into account some more complex ideas and angles and creating more ‘artsy’ photos instead of just a head with something significant in the background. Or alternatively a bunch of people pulling a face at the camera.
I shared this image with a twitter friend recently. He was happy with his early morning hello and I was happy with the image. It is a bit grainy but I love the concept.