TMI Tuesday – Some Personal Stuff

1. Describe your phone lock screen.

A few years ago on a short visit to the Whitsunday Islands The Unicorn, Mr Jones and I did a bushwalk in the rainforest. The Unicorn took a lot of pictures of small rainforest creatures. I used one of those images on my phone. The ant in the picture is edible tasting a little like a green sour lolly which is something we learned when The Unicorn was small and so is a part of our history.

2. What does your favorite coffee mug or tea cup look like? Post a pic.

When I am at home I have a cup that was given to me by a student. Primary school teachers always get a lot of presents at Christmas but as a high school teacher gifts are a bit hit and miss. I am not one of the cool teachers and so I treasure the few gifts I get.

3. Tell us about a regional food favorite of yours that you think the world simply must try.

I would say Vegemite but I think that most people know about that and have very strong opinions. For the record Marmite (the UK version) and Promite (the New Zealand Version) are NOT the same and cannot be substituted.

The food that the world should embrace is a meat pie. Chunky steak to be precise. Every town in Australia has a bakery that boasts award winning pies. Not all of them are that great but you can tell a good one when you eat it.

4. How often do you journal?

Journalling is a new thing for me. I started about two weeks ago. I still haven’t gotten my head around sitting down every day and emptying my thoughts but I am working on it.

5. How often do you blog?

Sporadically. Usually around 2 – 3 times per week. Not having a fixed routine is a little disruptive but hey that is just an excuse.

Bonus: Does your blog act as your journal?

No. But sometimes yes. I actually have a separate blog for journaling. As I said in Question 4 it is a new thing and I am still developing the habit. Persistence is the key.

This post is part of TMI Tuesday. To see who else is sharing click the badge below.

TMI Tuesday the Fantasy Edition

1. Does your sex life need some fantasy? What kind of fantasy?

Tonight I feel as if I have been living a fantasy for the last few days. I am not exactly all sexed OUT but I am certainly sexed UP. Thank you Second Mate and Mr Jones. You have been awesome.

2. What is eroticism for you?

Many things. It can be a look. It can be the words whispered in your ear and sometimes it is laughing because your husband is struggling to video you peeing over the side of the boat.

3. You are invited to a kink party, will you go?

Erm yes!! I would be offended if I wasn’t invited.

4. Your lover has tied your naked body down. What do you want to happen next?
a. You get tickled mercilessly
b. You are covered in whip cream and people lick the cream entirely from your naked body
c. Bind, blind, and tease your erogenous zones with an ice cube, feather, candle wax, tongue, etc.
d. A sex toy is used to penetrate you to orgasm

I am going with C. Although I am not sure about the ice cube. Although in the last few days D has been more my experience.

5. In your sex life, do you go along with whatever your partner wants and needs or when necessary do you handle things to make sure you have thrilling sex?

I am a lot more compliant and tend to go along with what my partner suggests most of the time. It has led to some very exciting experiences.

Bonus: When is the last time you purchased a sex toy? What did you buy? Was it purchased online or at a store?

I purchased a small massager just before we left on our voyage. Like all my sex toys I purchase online. Unless you count the rope I purchased at Bunnings in Cairns!!

TMI Tuesday – A Wet Afternoon

It is a wet and windy afternoon here in cruising yacht paradise and not the fun kind of wet. It has been four days since I set foot on land and about six since I had an in-person conversation with someone other than Mr Jones. Cabin fever may have some influence on my answers.

1. What’s the most stressful thing in your life right now

Apart from the aforementioned weather the announcement today that our delightful premier has announced a three day lockdown for the city that we are planning to visit in three days. Fingers crossed that it doesn’t get extended. Fingers also crossed that our friend who is meeting us there is able to travel from his city which is also part of the lockdown.

2. True or False. The best way to get over an ex is to get under someone new.

You know it has been so long since I have had an ex as such that I really don’t know. Getting under someone new is always fun though.

3. Is rebound sex empowering or does it leave you feeling lonelier?

Sex for the benefit of someone other than yourself is never going to end well. Whether it is to make the person you are having sex with happy or to make another person jealous it is never going to end well. The only way sex is empowering is if you are doing it for yourself on your terms.

4. Would you rather watch porn every night forever or never watch porn again?

One of my Thirty Dirty Questions discussed my thoughts on porn. You can read about it here. Personally having to watch porn every night forever sounds like torture. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t miss it if I never saw it again.

5. Would you rather go to bed alone forever or share a bed with someone forever?

Well I am married to Mr Jones. He has this thing about wanting to share a bed with me because he thinks it is part of being married. So I guess I am stuck with sharing a bed.

Bonus: You must pick one and explain. Would you rather your mom or your ex set up and run your dating apps?

Anyone except my mother. The further my mother is away from my sex life the better. Really the further she is away from most of my life the better.

TMI Tuesday – This and that

Another week of big plans and then not posting TMI Tuesday until Friday. Must be the weather. I couldn’t take the questions too seriously

1. What attracts you to a blog–makes you read it again and again or subscribe?

Interesting content that tells me things I didn’t already know. I also like blogs about life even every day life. Some people just have a knack for making their life sound interesting even if consists of walking the dog and making dinner. Reading different people’s perspectives on everyday things is endlessly fascinating for me.

2. Life is short. What do you still need to get done before your life ends?

Sew up all the fabric stored in my closet. I know that sounds like a joke but it isn’t.

3. Which pick up line are you most likely to use? (You must pick one)
a. You’re beautiful/handsome. Can I tell you that again next Saturday over dinner? Nope! Why wait until Saturday? Why dinner? Such a cliché.

Image by Photo Mix from Pixabay

Although if someone went to THIS much effort….

b. Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears! Really? Like anyone would fall for that.

c. If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I would be holding a galaxy. Look if you are seeing this person that many times a day and you have to use a pick up line there is some serious stalking happening.

d. I would say God bless you, but it looks like he already did. The only time God should come into it is when someone is having the life fucked out of them.

4. What makes you feel truly loved?

When the person notices little stuff and reacts accordingly. Like knowing how you like your tea or, conversely, knowing how to lick your pussy…

No wait. That just makes me horny.

5. What emotion do you experience the most?

I was on a roll and this post was happening until I got to this question. Until a couple of weeks ago my predominant emotion was anxiety. These days it is excitement. When I get home and have to go back to work? Wishing I was somewhere else no doubt.

Bonus: In the word ‘scent’, which letter is silent? S or C?

Lisa mailed a pair of her panties to Johnny. When he opened the package the scent of them was intoxicating.

Johnny doesn’t care which letter is silent or if it is scent or sent. He wrapped those panties around his cock and wanked himself silly.

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TMI Tuesday – What’s in a Name

I started writing this on Tuesday but other things seemed to get in the way.

1. You have started your own sex themed business. What is the name of your business? What is your specialty service or product? BONUS: In one or two sentences, what is your business’s slogan or motto?

The Lunchtime Quickie Den. So this is a variation on the Love hotels you can find in Japan and some other parts of the world. Basically you can head on down in your lunchbreak and either engage in a prearranged rendezvous with someone you know or find someone else who is at a loose end.

Bed, condoms, lube and a shower for rinsing off afterwards all part of the service!

Bonus: Thank you please come again!

2. You have to write a 10-word message to the man/woman of your dreams, what would you say?

You, me, a yacht, a short skirt and a hoodie.

I can’t believe that I wrote exactly what Mr Jones would want and it was 10 words!

I may have already posted this one but it fits the description

*3. What’s the word or string of words your partner can say to you that sends you over the edge the quickest?

When I am fucking talking is often distracting for me. I don’t have a trigger word or phrase. However Johnny had this facial expression that he would pull that would trigger an instant orgasm. Recently I had an encounter with a very sexy Italian man who pulled the same expression with the same result!

4. What is the nickname of your partner’s pussy or dick? Did you name it or was it already called that.

Not something I ever did or thought of.

5. What would you call yourself if you could choose your own name?

This seems to surprise a lot of people but Gemma and Mrs Jones are not my real names. So I already have chosen my name and I like it. It rolls off the tongue and it isn’t completely outlandish. Even though it isn’t my legal name I am very used to using it and will respond when someone yells it out across a room.

*Question submitted by Kirsti formerly of the Drenched and Delicious blog.

This post is part of TMI Tuesday for 15 June. If you want to see who else is sharing click on the button below.

TMI Tuesday – From the Fantastic to the Realistic

1. What do you have against reality?

I don’t really have anything against reality. Reality is necessary for the world to go around. Where it becomes and issue is when there is no room left in life for fantasising. From fantasies comes ideas which lead to inventions that change the world.

2. Do you feel like you are maintaining a healthy balance between leisure, time for self, career, physical activity, and those you care about?

During the early years of my marriage I was very focussed on my career. After my children were born I didn’t really put my career in the back seat I merely tried to be the perfect mum/ employee/ wife all at once. Because that is possible right?

These days I am more conscious of the work – life balance issue and I make a point of keeping certain barriers in place, eg. I don’t receive work emails on my personal phone, I don’t read my work emails in the evening or over the weekend. When taking on extra tasks I try to be realistic and I am getting better at prioritising tasks. Currently I am on extended leave which is definitely helping to recharge the long term batteries and provide time for reflection.

3. What is a fantasy you have that you really want to come true?

I would love a beautiful modern house that has views of trees and water with space for my sewing / craft and maybe a pole dance area that is not in view of every single inhabitant of my house. In this house nudity and sex are allowed everywhere because there aren’t people like in-laws or children living there that make that kind of thing awkward.

I just read that and thought what an unexpected thing for a sex blogger to write. I just didn’t have a sexual fantasy that is at the front of my mind right now.

4. What is the most impulsive thing you have ever done?

I am a worrier. Being impulsive is not in my nature. The voyage I am currently undertaking was relatively impulsive for me. In the space of about nine months we had purchased our yacht, said goodbye to our family and loved ones and set sail to unknown places. What made it impulsive? Up until about a year before we left I would not have even considered doing this.

5. You are being given an all expense paid vacation, and you must leave for vacation tomorrow. Considering your current mood, state of mind, feelings–will you take the vacation alone, with a friend or with family? Why? (Choose one)

Given that I am currently in the middle of a vacation of a lifetime I don’t really think I could ask for another. But if someone else was going to pay for flights accommodation and cocktails I would love to spend a week with The Unicorn hanging out at the island we are currently anchored at.

Bonus: How do you feel most of the time? Happy? Anxious? Satisfied? Sad?

Anxiety happens a lot in my life. I am a compulsive worrier. Working on being more relaxed and living in the moment.

Bonus Bonus:

Just to make those Australians who are feeling the cold this week a little jealous here is a peek of the sunshine where I am this morning.

This post is part of the TMI Tuesday for this week. To see who else is sharing click on the button below.

TMI Tuesday – Strangeness

1. If you had to lick a stranger’s sweaty armpit everyday for the rest of your life to save the life of your significant other would you do it? (Thank you Master of None).

Mr Jones thinks this is a stupid question. His response? Of course!! I don’t want Gemma to die! My response? EEEEWWW but of course I don’t want him to die either.

2. What is something you escaped from?

Many years ago I was in a job that I really loved for a long time. After I returned to work from my second round of maternity leave the management team had undergone a huge restructure and things were very different. Being stubborn I refused to see the writing on the wall and got into a very nasty situation with my manager. In the end things got really bad and I left the industry completely. It turned out to be one of the best things I could have done because it gave me the opportunity to do some amazing things with my family.

3. Have you ever done an Escape Room game with strangers? Did you solve it and get out on time?

I have not had the chance to try an escape room with anyone stranger or otherwise.

4. What is the strangest/craziest DM you have received?

I always struggle to answer this type of question. I know I get weird messages from people a lot of the time but I mostly delete them and move on. I think the ones that make me sit back with my eyebrows up are men requesting to be dominated.

I don’t have a problem with dominating men per se but a DM from a stranger that reads, “hey you look hot would you like to peg my arse?” Is a bit much for a first introduction.

5. Do you DM strangers? Why?

On the dating app I use, yes. That is how those apps work. If you are signed up and get all precious because a stranger sent you a message you have much bigger problems!

On regular social media, no. If we have interacted in a group or something like that then we aren’t really strangers anymore.

6. Do you watch “Stranger Things” on Netflix?

I have watched it in the past but only because Mr Jones was watching it. Not because I sought it out.

Bonus: Because there can never be enough boobs in the world.

Thirty Dirty Questions – Question 5

Welcome to another edition of Thirty Dirty Questions. The question today is:

What are your thoughts about porn?

Porn is strange. I never really was into it. A lot of women aren’t really, I think. Maybe I am wrong. Anytime I have watched a porno it has left me feeling meh. There are many things about them that I don’t like; The women are totally fake, fake boobs, fake eyelashes, fake tan, fake nails. Fake. I hate that in a woman. The men are weird. They are just taxis for their enormous penises. They have no other feature that makes them desirable.

The scenarios are also so contrived that I really don’t understand why the makers of porn movies try to make a scenario up. Their audience is not really interested in how Monica came to be naked with the guy who came to fix her washing machine. They just want to watch Monica get banged good and proper by the impossibly good looking plumber, preferably in the arse.

I don’t know any plumbers that look like this!

For men porn is a staple of their adolescent sexuality. Some men never grow out of it. I have noticed in the circle of people I hang with that watching the cheap porn that features on sex shop shelves is becoming less and less popular. These men are more discerning. They want to watch real women. I get asked for pictures of myself regularly. It seems that men find getting a picture from someone they have a connection with is more arousing. I recently asked a man about this and he confirmed the connection makes the image more intimate.

Sometimes I like the feeling of that kind of intimacy. It arouses me to know that a man is masturbating about an image of me if we have been talking a little and I feel a connection. But that connection is rare and somewhat hit and miss. What I DON’T like is when a man messages me and then asks upfront for pictures and videos. Especially if he says something like “I’m really horny today can you send me something to help me out?”

It is likely that he is messaging me while I am in the middle of making dinner or hanging out washing. 99% of the time I am not horny or really in the headspace to get enjoyment out of sending pictures and then hearing about how sexy I am or how he would fuck me. I don’t make a habit of sitting on the couch wondering if there is a man that would like to see a picture of my pussy hanging around. If I do then I will post it on Twitter for multiple people to see. Asking for images simply because they are horny is the same as buying porn. Except that the person they are approaching is not necessarily advertising or selling. To me it seems like they are avoiding the whole buying part and trying to get something for free.

When I became a swinger, I was introduced to the world of live sex. This was raw, and real. The participants were not perfect, although sometimes there was fake boobs and fake eyelashes. There were slip ups, there was wobbly bits and there were sometimes some awkward looking positions but what was attractive is that it was REAL. Watching someone else have sex in the same room as you makes you want to have sex. Maybe with a stranger standing next to you. Once you have had that experience porn will not really cut it.

Overall, I think the world of porn is changing. I think that the internet and dating apps have changed how people want to see porn and how they interact with it. So, in five years’ time things could be completely different again. Whatever the case I will always prefer real people having real sex.

If you have missed the other questions or want to re-read them a full list of questions with links to those answered can be found here

TMI Tuesday – Life Questions

Image by Gino Crescoli from Pixabay

1. Do you typically wake up feeling optimistic?

Most days, yes. I would not say that I am a particularly negative person. I do tend to stress about possible problems (even if they are highly unlikely) but as a rule I make a strong conscious effort to be a positive person.

2. Do you pursue your passions?

Physical passions yes. My sex life is one of the very few areas in my life that I am truly myself and don’t worry a lot about what other people think about me. Consequently I am very comfortable with pursuing activities and people who interest me.

3. If your life was affected by covid19 lockdowns/restrictions how have you pursued your passions during the pandemic?

I have spoken here quite a bit about the very minimal impact that Covid-19 had on life in general in Australia. Watching the impact on other people’s lives in other parts of the world has made me extremely grateful for this.

4. Is there a conversation you need to have with someone but you have avoided? Tell us the basic subject and your relationship to the person.

Nothing springs to mind right now. There probably is something. But I haven’t really had to deal with people in the real world for over six weeks now and things have not fallen apart so I guess it can wait.

5. Fill in the blank. When my partner is around I feel _____ .

I have spent the last six weeks on a boat with Mr Jones. Sure we have left the boat and gone ashore almost every day but I can put my hand on my heart and say that I have not been more than 100m away from him for six weeks 24/7. There have been days, not many but some, when we haven’t had a face to face conversation with anyone else.

Given all that I think for me the statement should read;

When my partner is NOT around I am going to feel, a little bit weird.

Bonus:  Are you living in reality or a fabricated fantasy?

Currently my reality resembles many people’s fantasies.

When you are the only people on the entire island and there is a nice warm rock to lie on

Usually I am a realist. I don’t like to pretend that things are different than they are or that something is not going to happen the way it obviously will. When I am at work I am a high school teacher. Living in a fantasy world would end badly for me.

This post is part of this week’s TMI Tuesday. To see who else is sharing click the button below

TMI Tuesday – Down and Dirty

Image by Achim Thiemermann from Pixabay

1. Your first night out after covid19 lock-down and you catch a friend making a drunken pass at your significant other. Which of the following most mirrors your feelings or thoughts?

a. Ignore it, they are drunk off their ass.
b. Alcohol is a truth serum, true feelings come out and this false friend is after my honey.
c. Well, my babe is pretty hot so I can’t blame them for making a move.
d. After a year of lock-down, people are likely to flirt with a lamp-post. It is no big deal.
e. Hmmm, I wonder if this friend is up for a threesome?

The response to this question depends on a lot of factors. If we are at lifestyle event then my response would wander between c and e depending on how attracted I was to her.

If it was a vanilla event then I would be firmly at c. Mr Jones has dated women from our vanilla life before. He had a great time and it was very validating for him. I was not as enthused about the relationship and had to put her in her place a couple of times. For the record we are still polite to each other but the situation kind of killed any friendship she and I had.

2. True or False. I am so bored with vanilla sex?

Well who wouldn’t be? The only time vanilla is valid is when you are eating ice cream

3. Is it unreasonable to hope for mind-blowing sex when you have been together for several years?

Erm No! It is unreasonable to expect mind blowing sex every day in any kind of relationship but there should be mind blowing sex some times. I am very spoiled. I get to have sex with multiple partners and generally that turns out pretty mind blowing but there are still times when Mr Jones and I get it together pretty well.

4. Name two things that could doom your current romantic relationship?

We have been together for 22 years. I am not sure there is much that could kill it now. The only things that I can think of that would kill our marriage are things that I can’t possibly imagine Mr Jones ever doing. The kinds of things that are likely to cause a problem are the little things that erode trust over time. Those things are hard to identify.

5. A local sex educator is holding orgasm classes–as in how to give an orgasm. Would you sign up to be a student or be the demonstration model?

You know what? I would be the fucking educator.

Bonus: May 18 is World No Dirty Dishes Day. How will you celebrate?

I clicked the link and I don’t really get it. But for the record I celebrated the day by having breakfast, climbing a mountain, and spending the rest of the afternoon lounging, and writing my TMI post of course!!!. I will be making dinner and Mr Jones will be washing the dishes.

Bonus Bonus: A shot taken from the top of said mountain

To see who else is sharing their dirty dishes this week click on the button below